I feel like in duos there’s usually the reasonable one and the insane one but with Carl and donut you look at them and think the cat is the insane one only to find out not only are both or them insane but Donut is the more reasonable one

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I feel like in duos there’s usually the reasonable one and the insane one but with Carl and donut you look at them and think the cat is the insane one only to find out not only are both or them insane but Donut is the more reasonable one
Currently reading Dungeon Crawler Carl. I’m on the third book and this line caught my eye from the Anarchist Cookbook
“But more importantly, there is no shame in wanting to protect those who are your hive, even if you never knew them. For they are yours, and they are being taken.”
And that line really struck home for me, because as stupid as it sounds, I get so sad and angry whenever I hear of people dying, be it because of our wars or something else. I feel stupid, knowing I can’t help those people because I’m so far away, yet feeling so upset over it. But that fucking line. It just makes me feel better. Lets me know I’m not alone in that feeling.
Ive been thinking about the dungeon anarchist's cookbook a lot, like the actual item in the book. and its probably not this deep but having written proof that others have tried is so important to me. Like yes indomitable human spirit and all that except theyve all felt like this. There were so many who never gave up, who tried to make them pay, who fought for justice for themselves and everyone else but carl is lucky. The narrative is so incredibly clear that carl is just stupid amounts of lucky. He came on in the right season to make shit happen, the pet biscuit didnt kill donut, he managed to pull off the first stubt with the goblins, the glass case held the bomb, borant is rushing everything, theyre being sloppy, the ai isnt developed entirely right, there are cracks in the armour that werent there in the previous seasons because if they had been someone else might have stopped this. Indomitable human spirit, except were all human even if were not human. Being different doesnt mean you didnt try just as hard, it doesnt mean youre not just as angry, it doesnt mean you couldnt have done it, and it doesnt mean you gave up, it just means the one who did it got lucky.
Oh I get it now. The recap show is propaganda directed at the crawlers to manipulate them however is needed, mostly to keep people away from Carl so they stop ganging up on the dungeon.
thinking (not for the first time) about carl and the dungeon anarchist's cookbook. a book that contains the knowledge, experiences, grief, hope, rage, despair, resignation, and determination of 22 seasons of dungeon crawlers. of a book that is the legacy of dozens, the tomb that they buried their hearts and hope in before the dungeon claimed their bodies. and how carl reads and learns from those experiences, reads and feels their pain and rage, and turns the "one day" mentioned so often in the book into "today." how carl unites people through his determination and care for everyone left on earth and his refusal to let them die. how he says "fuck you" to mordecai's claim that he can't save everyone and has saved tens of thousands of people repeatedly. how he does everything he can to make those that gain from the crawl suffer for ever daring to profit off it. how he is the hope and resilience of earth, and he is their vengeance. how he unites people repeatedly, gives them a real tangible chance of killing the ones who did this to them. how, despite telling the cookbook and those who came before him that he is doing this for his people, he is still Their vengeance too. god i love DCC
Fuck them all. One day they will all burn, and while I’m certain I will be long dead, I will laugh. I will laugh long and hard, and I will be waiting for them on the other side of the veil where not even the vast expanse of stars or time will withhold my wrath. If you are reading this, friend, I pray you will join me. Side by side, we will exact our revenge."
-Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 3: The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook, Matt Dinniman
“One day, this pain you’re feeling right now will matter,”
-Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 3: The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook, Matt Dinniman
A Crown for a Bounty
Summary: The princess could sense the danger long before she could see it, and knew she was being watched; hunted.
It wasn’t long until she was confronted with a bounty puck, and the person carrying it.
The princess could sense the danger long before she could see it.
She knew she was being watched. Hunted.
It was the busiest day in the market, too. And she was just starting to believe she was finally safe. After being on the run for over a month and laying low undercover in the streets, she heard her name less and less in the news. It felt as though her disappearance was suddenly forgotten.
But the princess knew deep down that she was wrong; after all the wedding arranged for her was just now weeks away. There’s no chance that her father would have forgotten about her and the deal made by the royal House of Crescent.
Even in the bustling crowd, she saw the tall dark figure step towards her; his armour reflecting in the sun and as quickly as she saw him he was facing her with a bounty puck.
Name: Princess of Akiva
Description: Blonde hair, green eyes, 162.53 cm, 58.06kg. Age 20
Fuck
She immediately noticed the lacking information of her real name. Probably because it didn’t matter; not to her father anyways. What mattered was her title, and how much she was worth but before the princess could read that information further the dark armour spoke:
“I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold.”
But before she could comprehend what she was doing; she bolted to the left, ducking under the stall behind them before fleeing out through the back. She felt the graze of his grasp on her arm before somehow slipping out from him once again. It was the adrenaline telling her what to do and where to go, because she had no other plan. She could feel her legs moving faster, and her fingertips began to tingle with heat. Could she really fight him off?
But her question was quickly answered when she was tackled to the ground, the tingling in her fingers disappeared quickly. Why did her energy betray her when she needed it most?
She could feel him crushing her as she tried to wriggle beneath him but she knew it was no use. It was over.
“I’m no use to them cold,” she spat at him, though spitting on his armour seemed to do nothing useful.
“Then you’d better stop struggling and come with me.”
It wasn’t as if she had a choice now, and with the curious crowd watching from the market, the Mandalorian cuffed the princess into a tight hold. She knew it was over.
Soon after she was pushed onto a ship, big dark and sleek and was sat down securely to the front with him, seatbelt and all. The princess noticed at the corner of her eye that the mandalorian had brought her backpack. What a considerate bounty hunter, she thought to herself bitterly. He must want to rummage through it later for early payment. Though she barely had any credits on her.
They sat in silence as they took off, and the princess replayed in her head what she could have done differently to stay hidden. There was no chance of her escaping her father now, not that she’s been caught. They’ll be onto her, and within a few weeks she will be a bride,
She knew it would be a long ride before they would make it to her planet, so the princess closed her eyes in her seat, hoping to let sleep take over.
“Grogu, go back to your cot.”
The princess’ eyes flew open at the sudden voice of the mandalorian and was more than surprised to see a small green blob with big black eyes staring right at her.
“What is that?” She mattered to sputter, but Mandalorian ignored her.
“Grogu, now.”
The small creature seemed to utter a sigh before slowly making its way to the back of the ship.
“Is he a pet? He’s really cute.” To the princess it reminded her of a stuffed animal she had as a child and wondered what species it was.
“He’s not of your concern,” came Mandalorian’s reply.
This now brought a sigh out of the princess. She knew she was a prisoner, but for one fleeting moment wanted to forget the hell she was returning to. Unfortunately for her, Mandalorian was quiet, and the cute little creature didn’t come out for another two hours,
The princess observed quietly, watched as the small green blob plopped onto mandalorian’s lap and happily cooed up at him. He didn’t seem phased at all, though he never said anything else to the creature. The princess wondered if the mandalorian was embarrassed to be seen with him while he had a bounty.
It wasn’t before long, after having a small nap, that the princess woke up to the sounds of them landing. Surely they couldn’t be home yet? She knew it takes longer than that.
But when she opened her eyes, she didn’t recognize the planet. As if knowing she was going to ask, the Mandalorian spoke first.
“We need fuel. Stay here on the ship.”
Of course, where else would she go? She looked down at her shackles and wondered if it was possible to break free from them. She could feel her fingertips burning again, but nothing ever came. She let out another long deep sigh and slouched lazily in the chair.
“What’s your name? Do you talk?”
The small green creature only looked up at her out of curiosity but never spoke. She tried again.
“Is it Grogu? I heard him call you that earlier. Is he your owner?”
She was only met with silence however, the small creature took a seat on the armrest of her chair and continued to coo. The princess smiled down at him and tried to speak to him again, but was interrupted by a large clang that came from across the ship as the Mandalorian stopped heavily inside.
“Change of plans,” he muttered, seemingly to Grogu and not herself. “We’ll need to camp out here tonight, there won’t be the right amount of fuel until tomorrow.”
“Camp? Here?” The princess was perplexed. Where even were they?
“Not here, further out, I need to keep you away from civilization.” He replied swiftly. The princess let out a scoff.
“I’m a runaway bride, not a criminal,” she jabbed at him. But he didn’t reply, and instead took them out of town on top of some nearby mountains.
Once examining the area, the Mandalorian lead the Princess and the small creature outside to the Misty Forest.
It reminded the princess of her first location when she escaped a month ago. She had learned to get comfortable in the woods, and part of her regretted ever leaving them for civilization.
“Stay here,” he told her as he swept the area before settling down to build a fire.
As much as she hated to admit it, the princess really had nowhere to go. Her feet were free, but she knew she wouldn’t survive the wilderness with cuffs on. Not ideally, anyways.
She sat on a log opposite to him and watched him struggle to light a fire. Smoke turned into nothing, and she couldn’t help but feel smug, though he didn’t seem to notice.
“I need to find some dry sticks,” he said standing up.
No shit
But the princess stayed silent and shivered as he sauntered out to some trees and she continued to stare at the smoke seeping from the pit. The little one stayed behind and started wandering towards the lake.
She watched him closely, unsure if the little thing could swim. She waited a few minutes before deciding that him being close to the lake probably wasn’t a good idea. Just as she was about to get up to see him, a giant black bird creature flew from a tree onto Grogu. The princess yelped just as loudly as the bird screeched and she watched in horror as this black monster lunged Grogu into the water.
The princess wheeled around to see that the mandalorian was still too far away, and in that moment she knew she had to move fast. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, felt her stomach turn into knots and her fingers tingle. The blood pumping through her veins began to burn, and suddenly -
A flash of fire, a clang, and a scream from the princess and she was free from the cuffs. The burning in her fingertips turned into real fire, and finally set her free completely.
The commotion seemed to startle the bird enough that it dropped Grogu completely and flew over head. The princess could hear the mandalorian in the distance yelling but she had no time to think as she lunged into the water to save the creature.
She thanked her lucky stars that the water wasn’t deep, knowing she couldn’t swim. But it seemed that the adrenaline kept her going as she grabbed onto the baby and turned to face the shore, wondering where the mandalorian was.
But she quickly saw that he was occupied, as the bird creature, which was bigger than she realized, was attacking him. Pecking and screeching hard as he fought it before the Mandalorian finally shot at it and it slumped over. The bird was twice the size of the Mandalorian, and felt comparable to a small ship.
The princess was quick to slosh onto the shore, put baby Grogu on her lap and smack him on the back as hard as she could.
The Mandalorian finally made his way towards them when Grogu coughed out the water, and when she could hear him starting to finally breathe air, she let him go and sighed with relief.
The child ran to the Mandalorian in a hurry and he scooped him up into a tight embrace.
“Grogu!” He yelled, looking him over.
“He’s fine,” she panted, continuing the trek up to shore. “I think all the water is out.”
She walked by them as the Mandalorian examined him further and she plopped herself down infront of the fire pit, feeling soaked. She closed her eyes and clenched her fist, begging with herself, pleading - then finally, the tingle in her fingertips returned and the fire in her veins were lit. She threw her hands onto the logs infront of her and watched as the flames left her hands and settled into the wood.
A fire was soon ablaze and she stared at it proudly. It must be the adrenaline still coursing through her, the Princess thought, as sometimes it seemed impossible to let the fire out of her. Much to her annoyance.
She could see the Mandalorian, holding Grogu in his arms slowly approach her at the corner of her eye and she felt a pit in her stomach, remembering that she was now out of the handcuffs and she was still a prisoner.
“What did you do,” he said so low that she almost didn’t hear him.
“You can re-cuff me,” she assured him bitterly, not wanting him to tackle her again. Really, she didn’t mean to burn the cuffs off her wrists, it just happened so suddenly.
But to her surprise, he stayed silent and she could feel him watching her.
“You saved him,” he finally said, and the princess and startled enough to realize that he wasn’t lecturing her about the fire at all, but he was talking about Grogu.
“Well, yeah.” She replied curtly. She watched as he slowly made himself around her and sat down, shivering child in hand.
The fire cast its light into them and she watched as the child soon calmed down.
Feeling cold and wet herself, the princess stood up and started to remove her cape and boots. She could feel the Mandalorian watching her, but she continued on, not caring about him but only wanting to be out of the soaking wet clothes.
She was waiting for him to react, jump up and cuff her again. But it never came. As she looked over to him she noticed the gash on his leg.
“Did that thing get you?”
It seemed that before he could react, he had slumped over.
Part 2 posted later!
grace after finding ilyukhina's hidden bag of vodka and lipstick
You okay?
Love this man and his always a little clumsy jetpackery skills 🥰 It’s just nice seeing him use it effectively but not with the artistry of his melee or shooting skills, which makes sense since he didn’t have a jetpack for a long time - character development without saying a word.
how i sleep knowing i write shitty fiction but at least don’t use chatgpt
do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare
if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.
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“let’s run away together” trope fucks me up bc it’s almost always doomed. but what if it’s not this time.
"Then I know you. Marry me."
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