im sick of all the hating and the fighting and the pretending like nothings wrong im so happy when im not with you i can't believe how natural it all comes to me i feel like i've never felt friendship before 2 months ago and it feels amazing to be accepted for exactly who i am to be so close to someone who understands you and has the same ambitions and values and LIKES YOU it's so hard to go back to anything other than that and still call you a friend i can't do it and i wont anymore because im not sacrificing my happiness to perpetuate something that needs to be held up but all the support has left. i can't rely on the wind to keep this floating it's time for it to sink ive found someplace new to stand and it feels like home and we all know that none of you will care but it feels good to me to know that next time i see you it wont be as a friend, it will be as someone i know. someone i went to school with. someone i used to talk to. but now you're not a friend. you're not really anything. i would cry if you died but i feel like it wouldn't be reciprocated i want you to know that if you ever need someone i'll be there but not as a friend, just someone to talk to.
i can't keep standing on something that is crumbling. I can't stand on hot ashes. I can't stand on veneer. I've found solid. I will not go back to drowning.
