my 3am thoughts

so dark, so deep, the secrets that you keep...

[ssleep-noww]

i hope you feel

my tears

i hope they consume you

drown you

and make you wonder what

you did to deserve it

just like

me.

-aftershock

[ssleep-noww]

i take a breath

i see you

i close my eyes

and you’re there too

i listen to a song

and i hear your voice

telling me you’ll never leave

but where are you now?

where were you when

i swallowed the pills

where were you when

the sadness crept up

and kidnapped me

held me for ransom

it was too much for you

wasn’t it?

[ssleep-noww]

it’s been months

but i still taste the same

bitter salt

in every tear

that is caused by

you.

[ssleep-noww]

it’s not the suicidal thoughts that scare me

it’s the being so close

to giving in

that does.

[ssleep-noww]

even if my body

was made of glass

no one could see me

the real me

because they simply choose

not to

look.

[ssleep-noww]

i was once your moon and stars

and everything you loved

you would hold me close

and tell me i meant everything to you

but now

i’m just a deep dark abyss

you know nothing about.

-loving is too hard

[ssleep-noww]

each hour that goes by

that i don’t hear from you

i wonder

if you love me less.

-delivered.

[ssleep-noww]

you bring out the best in me

when all I see

is the worst in me.

-a drop of hope.

[ssleep-noww]

not many things in this world make me want to stay

but you,

you make me want to not only stay

but also to live.

[ssleep-noww]

maybe if i killed myself when i wanted to,

i wouldn’t have met you.

-regret the chances you didn’t take.

[unforgettable-sensations]

Fourth

The rays shine

But not through today

And even on cloud nine

You’re still miles away

[ssleep-noww]

This is so beautiful

[ssleep-noww]

each tear that strolls the lonely path

down my face

is a reminder that i am

in fact

human too.

[ssleep-noww]

maybe if you saw the tear slide down my face

in an ever so graceful motion

just the same as the blade of your words

cuts across me

Silence wouldn’t be your answer.

-unspoken things.

[ssleep-noww]

your kiss didn’t taste like home anymore,

your touch didn’t set me on fire anymore,

“love” wasn’t in the picture anymore,

so I left.

-wandering aimlessly.

[ssleep-noww]

i miss when my smile

reached my eyes

i miss when my laugh

wasnt forced

most of all,

i miss me.

-gone but never forgotten.

[ssleep-noww]

i have given up,

hoping

dreaming

loving

believing

living.

-end game.

[ssleep-noww]

she was gone

before she left.

-peaceful goodbye.