// no love

[sssnape]

ofwildhecrts‌:

“i know it’s a fucking SPELL, snivellus.” lily snapped back through clenched teeth, venom saturating her words as she stepped into the classroom. she wasn’t sure where the nickname came from. it used to be something that she would berate potter for using, but now it had ripped through her chest and fallen from her lips before she could think twice about it. “but i doubt it’s just a spell.” she saw his hand leave his wand, and though she didn’t reach to brandish hers, at least not yet, she knew well enough to keep it somewhere she could find it easily. she knew how to protect herself, and she knew that HE was someone she had to protect herself from, now.

she lifted a hand to push her hair back behind her ear as she got closer to him, putting on display the jagged scar given to her by a shaking hand that belonged to someone under a mask. could that mask have been hiding snape’s face from her? the fact that she wasn’t sure whether or not he would go to such extremes to hurt her, especially after she would have once defended him to the grave, put a foul taste in her mouth. “it’s curious. it would seem i’m not particularly familiar with that spell. it’s never been covered in class before, you see.” she began, taking slow steps to close the distance between them. her tone was cold and her words were calculated—two giveaways to anyone who knew lily that there was something she wanted. “and, even more curious, a few nights ago i was given this—” she turned her head a little, wanting him to SEE what had happened to her so she could try and gauge his reaction. his guilt. “—by a spell i didn’t know. i don’t know if you heard.”

that nickname had only one naturally reaction: going on the offensive. severus had long ago stopped mincing words and holding his tongue with potter, the person he expected to hear it from and that habit continued now. later, he would realize that lily had used it - and he would have to decide what he would allow that to mean but for now, he wasn’t thinking much at all. “oh really, congratulations - your brain cells deserve a order of merlin first class.” there was bite to his voice, sarcasm and hurt mixing together even when the latter failed to show on his face. “more than a spell and what would it be then, evans?”

he sees the scar, though not for the first time and it’s everything that he can do to not visibly anger. and yet still, his fingers dig into the flesh of his palm as he thinks about what his housemates did - do they not realize that they he still cares for her? then again how could they, when he tries so hard to hide it. “i had heard, it’s unfortunate.” and he’s angry - so damn angry that it happened but he doesn’t know who to direct that anger at so he’s really just confused. and he knows, knows that she wants answers and knows equally as well that he can’t give them to her.

“but then i think you knew that.” there’s no way that she didn’t - didn’t suspect that he had been the one at the end of the wand or at least present. he hadn’t been but he had no way to prove that. “but then i thought i knew you, and sometimes i don’t know if i ever did.” he wonders for a brief moment if he loves her or the idea of her before deciding that they’re probably the same thing.

[sssnape]

ofmeadowss‌:

usually while on patrols she would find people hiding out in classrooms, trying to get some alone time with their significant other, but tonight there was nothing - so she continued on checking each classroom before moving on to the next. at the sound of muttering and different strange sounds, Dorcas frowned, taking her wand out of her robes as she came to an empty classroom. quietly as possible, she opened the door, revelling Severus Snape. 

the dark-haired prefect rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “well considering you’re out after curfew, I want you to return to your common room, Severus.” she had never been fond of snape, not even when Lily was still friendly with him, he always gave off a bad vibe. “that means now or I’ll need to dock you house points or give you a detention.” 

dorcas meadows was just another gryffindor to severus, another one of the lions that had slowly stolen lily from him. and given that she was a prefect, there was an extra touch of the hatred towards authority that he felt directed at her. “i’m sure you do, meadows.” slinging a bag over his shoulder, he walked towards the door but paused for a second.

a malicious grin spread across his lips for a brief moment. “stay safe, won’t you? wouldn’t want anything bad happening.” there was a hint of a threat in his voice - and a scheme working in his mind even as he said it straight to her.

[sssnape]

ofregalgrace‌:

                  ♕  –– stumbling upon on someone while patrolling the halls had not been what the blonde was expecting, much less did she expect to see one of her house-mates. which perhaps had something to do with the fact that she wasn’t too interested in actually doing her rounds tonight. wanting nothing more than to find her way back to the common room and her bed, the sixth year was in somewhat of a rush. only to stop dead in her tracks as she watched the others spells. her arms instantly folding over her chest in a vague attempt to hide her discomfort at the sight of the bleeding rat on the desk. blinking for a couple of seconds, narcissa almost missed the fact she’d been spoken to. “ hmm? “ she questioned, her gaze still glued on the animal, before flickering up to meet severus’ own. 

“ prefect duty. “ she dismissed with a roll of her shoulders. “ simply thought it was an empty classroom, given the time and all. “ she added with a tilt of her head, unsure of how to proceed or what to say what she’d seen had taken her off guard. “ what spell were you practicing? “ she wondered out loud. as someone who’s interests laid with healing as opposed to hurting even she had to admit that it was fascinating in  a way. the curiosity bringing forth some of narcissa’s very well hidden darker interests. “ it’s after curfew, severus. “

         –– narcissa black was a bit of an enigma to severus, he had never been able to really tell where she stood. where bellatrix was talented but wild, firm in her opinions and unafraid to voice them - there was something more demure about narcissa. it left him in a weird spot, where he didn’t know whether to be annoyed at being caught by a prefect or glad that it was a fellow slytherin. he decided to try and run with the latter. “hadn’t noticed the time, i do hope you’ll forgive me.”

at her questioning, his lips quirked into a sort of half smile - sharing information in a casual setting in exchange for something that he wanted ( in this case getting off scott free ) had always appealed to him. “sectumsempra,” he intoned, hand carefully away from his wand. “a cutting curse, i’m surprised that you don’t already know it?”

[sssnape]

vivalalong‌:

frank was only doing his nightly rounds- nothing out of ordinary happening that day as he was hoping of maybe being able to go to sleep earlier tonight- he wasn’t looking forward to quidditch practice first thing in the morning tomorrow and astronomy homework that night. with a sigh, he approached the classrooms, having to make sure all of them are closed- except one that’s door was clear open.

with a narrowed eyebrow at severus’ hostility, he tried to move his head to a side to see what he was doing on the table. ‘ excuse me? it’s almost curfew and it’s a known thing you should not be here without a professor’s will? the actual question is what are you doing here?’

severus rolled his eyes at the questioning, thanking the heavens that he hadn’t been chosen to be prefect. it seemed like a dull job - and most of them seemed to have a stick shoved so far up their arses that even petunia dursley would be impressed. “still on the whole lording your authority over everyone as if it means anything, are we longbottom? how sad.” he’s headed straight towards points loss and a detention, but it’s been a long time since he cared about those things.

“i’m not answering any of your questions, by the way.” he says, shouldering his bag and heading for the door. if he’s not allowed to be here, he’ll find somewhere else - good luck to the professors with actually stopping the things that are bound to happen. student out of bounds? big whoop.

[sssnape]

ofwildhecrts‌:

lily could have recognized the shadowy figure posted up in the abandoned classroom anywhere. she could have recognized it in her sleep. with her eyes closed. with a wand pressed to her throat. it was the same silhouette that belonged to her first friend—once, her best friend. SEVERUS. every time she saw him, without fail, the heartbreaking pain of what he’d said, what he’d done, who he was, came shooting through her with a cold sense of dread that belonged solely to him. 

she was prepared to turn up her nose, to glare at him and dock points for being out of bed at such an hour before sending him on his way, but she froze in the doorway when she heard what he said. SECTUMSEMPRA. it was the word that had been haunting her nightmares, the word she imagined hearing every time she walked through an empty corridor, the word that surfaced in her mind every time she caught a glimpse of her reflection, the word she felt every time she absentmindedly touched the scar that had found a home on her cheek. it was the word she had felt crazy for not knowing, and SEVERUS was saying it, now. her stomach twisted so violently, she could have been sick on the spot if she didn’t have more control. “what did you just say?” it was a demand, not a question. she couldn’t imagine what marlene, or emmeline, or dorcas, or james would say if they found out she had confronted snape alone like this, but she didn’t have any other options at the moment. “sectumsempra?”

the voice that reached his ears was so hauntingly familiar, that for a moment it felt as though he couldn’t breathe. “sectumsempra,” he breathed out, hand leaving his wand as he took in the face of the person that he had once considered his best friend - he still loved lily, he just knew that he was no longer her first choice if he ever had been. and a pit of emptiness settled in his stomach as all the reasons for that taunted him, his own voice yelling a slur echoing in his mind. “it’s a spell, evans.” evans no, she was lily, wasn’t she? petunia had always been evans, the girl who looked down her nose at the boy from a poor neighbourhood, who had seen him as not worthy, who had detasted him. severus supposed that did fit lily, in some ways.

what had happened to the love that they had shared - when had it faded to uncomfortable familiarity and a longing for the past? there was nowhere to hide as he stood looking at lily, even his pride couldn’t mask the fact that it was all in the past and he was left with nothing. nothing. she got everything - friends, a loving family, academic success - and he had nothing without her which stung. “why do you care?” he knew why she cared - knew that scar could have only been caused by one spell, knew that it had been one of his housemates, knew that she would blame him. but being blamed for other’s decisions wasn’t a new thing. “it’s just a spell.”

[sssnape]

severus snape was a lot of things - most of which weren’t good. he knew about the attack on lily and while he was angry - almost violent so, he allowed that rage to quietly simmer rather than act on it and draw attention to himself. instead, he spent his time looking for hideouts that he had missed - setting up shop in an abandoned classroom when he failed to find somewhere else that he could be alone. “sectumsempra,” he whispered, watching the transfigured rat squirm as blood ran across the table. 

leaning back, he waved his wand and watched as the mess vanished. “one day, one day it will be him.” he wasn’t quite sure who he was imagining this time, images of tobias snape and james potter swirling in his mind melding together. hearing footsteps behind him, he snapped out of his trance and whirled around. “what do you want?”

[sssnape]

was that JORDAN CONNOR walking around the halls of hogwarts? i wish it was them, but it was really just SEVERUS SNAPE, the SEVENTEEN year old SEVENTH year student at hogwarts. they come from a HALF BLOOD family, and people tend to describe them as INTELLIGENT, AMBITIOUS, JEALOUS and VENGEFUL.  they can be seen around hogwarts hanging in the SLYTHERIN common room and in THE POTIONS DUNGEON. i hear they’re planning on JOINING THE DEATHEATERS once the war starts and that they’re planning on KEEPING QUIET ABOUT IT. i can’t wait to see how this turns out for them.

about:

severus tobias snape was born into a family lacking in love - his parents a pureblood witch and a muggle who had long fallen out of love with each other. circumstance kept them together and it was this circumstance that killed the happy child that he had once been. by the time that he met lily evans in a nearby park, it was nearly too late, but when he found lily he also found love.

unfortunately as he watched how much lily’s parents loved her in spite of the magical abilities that she had, he wondered why his own father wasn’t the same way. tobias snape was a drunk man most of the time, and angry man all of the time - fearful of magic, he had grown resentful of the wife and child who had brought it into his life and he lashed out at them frequently. and so, seeing lily on the receiving end of such love planted the first seed of life long jealousy.

why did everyone get what he never had? it was a question that he frequently asked himself, worsening once he arrived at hogwarts and watched everyone make friends as he was left alone. worsened again when he learned that he had family in the magical world - family that shunned him because of his mother’s choices. and thus began his anger at his mother, anger at the world she had joined, anger at his muggle family, anger at the gryffindor purebloods who teased him for things beyond his control.

by the time that the incident with lily happened, it was decidedly too late. anger and jealousy had been bubbling up inside of him like an unwatched cauldron and with the slytherin purebloods encouraging his dislike for muggles, it was only a matter of time until he said something that couldn’t be taken back. that however doesn’t mean he doesn’t wish he could - quite the opposite. snape feels regret for lashing out at the only person who ever really treated him with something akin to love, and yet he knows that there is little he can do to fix it. not when he’s made the choices that he has - choices that he doesn’t regret

extras:

originally, snape was the odd one out even in the slytherin common room until the other boys in his year took him in. it was a relief to finally have people that he could call friends - or at least acquaintances and even if he knew that they were to some degree using him, he couldn’t find it in him to care.

despite not being much of a people person, snape joined as many clubs as he possibly could in order to avoid being alone. now, in his seventh year there are only three left that he participates in: potions club, slug club & the frog choir. he avoids any quidditch game that gryffindor is playing in as if he might catch dragon pox despite having friends on the team.

theme song? no love by simple plan - a lot of simple plan’s songs fit him quite well actually and despite his dislike for the world, he does listen to a lot of punk music.

has no idea what his plan is exactly after graduation, but does want to pursue his potions mastery if no reason other than to serve voldemort better.

still has the potions book with the notes in it, has taught most of the slytherins the spells that he invented with exceptions of the younger years.

straight up? if he had the opportunity to do it without being caught, he would kill james potter.