Awe thank you! I've been doing well over the past few weeks <( ̄︶ ̄)> just stressing Abt buying school stuff and doing some advance reading on my future subjects... I'll do my best to upload soon!!
I'd like to announce some sad news... I will be going on hiatus for a while, my mental health hasn't been good for the past few days and I also have family problems going on. I'll come back once everything is alright :)) I'll miss writing to you all!
OKAYY I CHANGED IT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME KNOW 🥺🙏🏻🙏🏻 I'm actually so embarrassed because I just copy pasted this on my Google docs and I was lazy to read through 3k+ worth of words to proofread it 😔😔😔😔 again, I'm sorry and thank you for letting me know 🥺🫶🏻
after hearing Yao Guang list off even more of Ren's crimes and the amount of shit he did the Xianzhou, while a good chunk of it is... yanno, really bad, i can't feel too sorry for the Xianzhou because like. what the fuck else did you expect after repeatedly tormenting the guy during his very short life, consistently reminding him he'd never be good enough no matter how well he excelled, being just flat out racist toward him, scrutinizing his every move, and basically just making him feel lower than dirt.
like i'm 100% of the opinion that anytime the preceptors had the chance, they were probably indirectly insulting Yingxing to his face and insinuating that he wasn't worthy of being Dan Feng or Jing Yuan's friend ( because let's face it, Jing Yuan was on the fast track to arbiter-general ) and trying to make him feel inferior in same way as like... a ploy to try and get him to back down or smth. it obviously didn't work bc Yingxing was way too arrogant for them to handle and he had to be because of the way he was treated day in and day out by the natives, as well as their leaders.
so no, i don't blame Yingxing for bullying the FUCK out of them and causing problems on purpose. he'd already committed a grave sin, suffered the loss of his closest friend, and was now a doomed criminal so who can blame him for just? going all out? might as well, right? get a little bit of revenge for the shit he suffered at their hands for like 60+ years before he got trapped in immortality
i'm not saying what he did was necessarily right, but i am saying that i can see where he's coming from and how it felt justified in his mind, too
Disclaimers: (Implied) cheating (from ehem, him), bro is confused with his feelings tf smack him, Haein Lee (she needs her own warning idk why), <- Hate (there won't be a lot lmao I just realized that), that's all ig... lmk if I missed any bc idk anymore... AS ALWAYS PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF MY GRAMMAR HAS TONS OF MISTAKES! ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE </3
Author's Notes: Ok, I did say this thing would be 3 parts long but because of my lazy ahh it would be longer than that, 4 or 5 parts? Idk anymore... I'm losing my motivation send help please.
Meanwhile, Ilia was in the airport, desperately trying to reach out to you. He already tried messaging every single social app you had, discord, instagram, text, whatsapp, snapchat, but no response. He was getting anxious every second, he knew he was in the wrong– sure he’s been very friendly, too friendly with Haein Lee… but they’re friends! Right…?
He ran his hand through his hair and frowns, the others could see it too. Amber and Isabeau had distanced themselves from him and he noticed it, they probably knew what happened… considering they became close friends with You. He wanted to ditch the Stars on Ice tour right now and just come back home to you… if he was even allowed to.
But he knew he can’t risk ditching the tour due to some contract agreement, this made him more agitated and so down. He inhaled sharply and turned off his phone, he just sat there at the airport seat waiting for their flight.
“You know, she was supposed to surprise you when we land in Osaka” Amber spoke as she sat down next to him, she can see Ilia visibly tense up at the mention of you “I messed up, big time, this is a bigger mess than the Olympics” he groans as he buried his face into his palms.
“Of course this is a bigger mess than the Olympics, you’re on the verge of losing the love of your life, Ilia.” Amber scoffs “you’re like a little brother to me and instead of judging you I’m just gonna give you advice,” Ilia looks up, slightly hopeful but still frowning “I’m not gonna tell you to cut off all contacts you have with Haein, but please ask her to take down those things she posted.”
Ilia looks away and intertwines his fingers together, he looks… hesitant. “Why are you suddenly so quiet? Don’t tell me you’re–” before Amber can finish what she was saying Ilia sighed heavily “I don’t know… I don’t know what I’m feeling, I’m not saying I like Haein that way, but it’s hard to pin it down” he explains, calmly but deep down, nervously. “It’s just that, she's so far away, always, and she’s… near…” Amber’s eyes widened before she frowned in disbelief.
“I can’t believe you Ilia… are you seriously in your right mind right now?” she scoffs, making him wince “I just– feel so lonely whenever we’re apart and I– I let my stupid emotions control me” this time, it was Amber’s turn to run a hand through her hair “you’re hurting her. You know the consequences of dating someone who’s not in the skating field like us, that doesn’t give you an excuse or reason to cheat.”
“I’m sorry” he apologizes as he lowers his head “you should be apologizing to her not me, or anyone else, Ilia.” Amber sighs before standing up from her seat “after the tour, you better apologize… but don’t expect her to come back to you that easily”.
Amber left him alone after talking to him, Ilia just sat there, back against the cold steel of the airport seats as he started to contemplate everything he just did. He hates this, he hates what he has become… He should’ve stopped the moment he started hanging out with Haein too much in Milan, without You knowing of course, he didn’t want to lie but back then he thought he was doing nothing wrong… they were just hanging out as friends.
Ilia managed to board the plane without drawing any suspicious reaction from anyone, he managed to mask the bitter feeling he has as he sets his stuff down. He sat near the window with his dad on his right. At some point Roman asked him if he was feeling okay, noticing his gloomy presence; Ilia being Ilia, he answered politely with a nod. Clearly not wanting to talk about it right now.
He put on his headphones and started listening to his playlist while leaning his head against the window of the plane, at some point, a song that reminded him of you started playing. He really can’t catch a break huh? It reminded him of how much you loved to sing it for him, it made his heart break even more.
All he wanted was for the tour to be over before it even started, he wanted to see you, beg for your forgiveness, he would even go through so much as to get on his knees and beg if he needed to. He didn’t want you to leave, but knowing you well, you would need a lot of space.
It took him a couple of hours to fall asleep mid-flight, it wouldn’t surprise him if he had nightmares because of your fight. Once they landed in Japan, he managed to open his eyes enough for the plane lights to blind him. He sluggishly stood up from his seat as he took his bags from the carrier on top of them, he trailed behind his father and the others while clutching the frog plushie you got for him.
Once they reached the place they were staying at he couldn't help but remember what Amber told him “you know, she was supposed to surprise you when we land in Osaka” he remembered it was their anniversary, he can’t help but feel more broken because of the realization.
Throughout the whole day he did nothing but practice for the tour, he still managed to socialize with the other skaters about their performance. Amber, Isabeau, and Alysa had been keeping him at arm’s length after finding out about what he did. Sure, they still talked, but cautiously.
He was seconds away from ditching the tour because of how agitated he’s been feeling. He wants to go home to you, he wants to hold you close and try to make up with you, if you’d let him. He decided he finally had enough and went to talk to the three about you.
“Amber, Alysa, Isabeau… can we talk?” Ilia spoke as he approached the three women who were happily engaging in a conversation with each other, before getting interrupted by him. “Uh, sure?” Amber responded “what do you want?” she asked as she crossed her arms “have you guys heard anything from her…? Well… I’m blocked” he spoke in a soft way making the three look at each other.
“Yeah, she talks to us. Why do you ask?” it was Alysa’s turn to respond “I want to… apologize, but I don’t know how…” “have you tried explaining yourself?” Isabeau chimed in curiously “no, I haven’t explained anything properly yet…” “have you sorted your feelings out?” Amber followed “I… yes, I have… I realized now that she’s the only girl I love, I was too blinded to see that…” Amber sighed, being the eldest among them she felt the need to act as a big sister “since you finally managed to sort your feelings out, have you asked Haein Lee to delete the photos?” she asks once more “I haven’t… But I’ll talk to her.” Before Amber could respond she felt a tap on her shoulder before excusing herself “should we really help him? I mean, this is his problem” Alysa whispers;
“He’s still our friend, I know he messed up big time but we should help him somehow… besides she’s also our friend, you know how whipped she is when it comes to Ilia” she whispers back, making the other two girls nod “but what if she actually doesn’t want to talk to him anymore? What do we do?” Isabeau asked “then we make a plan for them to reconcile, are you guys in?”
The two hesitates before nodding in response “we’ve decided to help you out with your problem, but in one condition” Ilia started to listen more carefully once they stopped their little meeting “you better promise us that this won’t happen again” Isabeau spoke softly “or else you can forget that you ever had a girlfriend or friends like us” Alysa finished, making Ilia nod.
”Okay, since we have two weeks in Japan for the tour we’ll have to do something about it” Amber said “what if we stage an accident so Ilia has a valid reason not to continue the other tour after Japan?” Alysa chimed in “how can we stage an accident? That’s too risky” Isabeau responded. Ilia could just sit there, letting the three plan this out. “Or we can just reason that something personal happened…?” Ilia finally spoke, making the women turn to him “oh yeah, that’s also a valid reason” Amber nods.
While Ilia was planning his tour escape, you were hanging out with your friends back at home.
“Wow, he’s such a jerk”
“Dating someone famous is such a hassle, I’ll tell you”
“What’s your plan now? Are you two officially over?”
“Let’s get you a new date!”
You could only sigh at their words as they start to banter amongst themselves “guys, I don’t think she’s ready for another relationship if they actually did break up” one of her friends spoke up “thank you, at least one of you is reasonable enough to understand” you spoke sarcastically.
“We just want to help!” one of your other friends said “I’m not ready to date, yet, besides I’m just taking a break from him…” you let out a sigh while shaking your head “I… Still like him” your friends groaned because of what you said making you frown.
“He literally cheated on you”
"He's a jerk!”
“you deserve someone better”.
“Okay that’s enough guys” you finally snapped “you guys can leave now, I’ll just call if I ever need your “advice” again” your friends looked at one another before standing up from the floor of your apartment living room “okay, just remember we’re here… Okay?” you nod as you see them off with a solemn expression.
You head back to your couch and plopped down with a huff, it’s been a few days since you confronted Ilia and ultimately blocked him. You didn’t get any updates, you were too tired and frustrated to even hear anything about him.
Your phone suddenly rang making you groan before picking it up "hey! How are you holding up?” Amber spoke through the phone before turning her camera on to reveal the others "doing fine… I guess” you sighed " are you sure? You look like you haven't slept for days” Isabeau responds worriedly " don't think about him okay? Take care of yourself too” Alysa chimed in with a comforting smile " I will try…".
The four of you continued to chat for about an hour, they kept asking you what you've been up to these past few days “my other friends actually came over earlier…” you mumbled, a little nervous to talk about the conversation you had with them, " they tried setting me up with people… it was a mess” “that's only normal considering you're freshly out of a relationship, but don't force yourself to meet others, okay?" Amber spoke softly “you're so maternal to me and it's making me tear up" you admit before laughing;
“I declined their offer for a blind date…I don't think I'm ready, considering a one year relationship just ended because of an Instagram post" “oh, oh! What if you report her account?" Alysa suggested with a smug grin “that’s so petty" Isabeau retorts “focus on yourself first, what if you go out alone? Make some quality time for yourself" Isabeau suggested “that's actually not a bad idea…” you respond.
" Yeah, go out on a date with your fictional crush or something… or maybe play games in a cafe or write? I'm sure it's been a long time since you've last written anything" you nodded in agreement on what Amber said “okay, I'll do that".
.
.
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TO BE CONTINUED...!
Extra Notes: It's been what? A few weeks since I last uploaded??? wait- don't tell me it's been a month or something... PLEASE NO I'M SORRY DON'T ATTACK ME...!
I lied… since my lazy ahh is so lazy it won’t be 3 parts long… I’m actually gonna post pt 3 rn but it won’t be the ending (yet) 😢 sorry guys I’m so lazyyyyy
This is out of topic bc I mostly yap/talk about Ilia Malinin here in my acc but imma start talking Abt my fav animes too starting with jjk.
I need someone to make a fanfic (x reader) about megumi in ep 8 s1 where Todo asks him what his type was and instead of him saying someone with an unshakable personality he says "my girlfriend" instead... LIKE DO YOU SEE THE VISION????? (if there's none I'm doing it myself. Although I'm not confident enough LMAO)
I'm gonna grill myself, my mind is a mess and idk what I'm doing anymore SORRY FOR THE VERY VERY SLOW UPDATE IM LOSING MOTIVATION </3 BUT 4 U GUYS I'D DO ANYTHING