What’s that saying? “If I’m not for myself, who will be for me?” Well, I’m taking care of myself for once. That’s all. Oh, and you realize that that phrase is not an invitation for narcissism, right? You’re calling me a narcissist? Sure you don’t want more pain meds? It’ll knock you right out. I don’t blame you. You know, it’s human nature. You face enough hardship, then you can’t help but think that you’re being punished, that you did something to deserve it. I did nothing to deserve… Okay. My whole life, I followed His rules. I studied, I believed, I practiced what I preached. I did every single thing He asked of me. And that guarantees you… what? Excuse me? Well, where… where.. where is the guarantee? In the sequel? ‘Cause, I have to admit, I’m not as up on that as I used to be. If by the sequel, you mean the New Testament, that’s pretty funny. No, no, where is it written exactly that if you do this or that, that everything in your life’s gonna be good, hmm? Nowhere, in any faith, is there a guarantee. I’m not asking for everything to be good all the time. But fair… I think that I… Fair? Was it fair when Isaac went blind and then his child betrayed him? And where was the fairness when Sara had to wait 99 years before she had a child, and God said, “sacrifice him?” And Moses couldn’t even get past the bouncer to the Promised Land. And like I said, I’m not up on the sequel, but from what I hear, Jesus got a raw deal. Nobody in the Bible lived a life free of suffering or injustice, or it wouldn’t have been a best seller. And if they lived lives like that, why should ours be different? Now, if people only believed in God when things were good, I guarantee you, after the Holocaust, not a single Jew would be a believer. Okay. Well, see, now you mention the Holocaust, and anything I say after that makes me… A narcissist? I was gonna say jackass, but… Faith wouldn’t be real faith if you only believe when things are good. Well, so, what? The world is just cruel and random, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it? Look, I don’t have a lot of time here. Do you mind if I just skip to the part where I pretend I don’t know what to teel you? I’m just gonna tell you, okay? Okay. You sound like a child. What? Terrible things happen. Terrible, wonderful, devastating things happen. Who the hell are you to know why? Who are you to know why some people live and some people die? Children die. Children who dind’t do anything wrong, children… who were broken before they had a chance to be whole, who were climbing in their own front windows. Right. And you don’t get to know why any more than… than I get to know why I’m dying from taking a pill that saves lives, that saves nearly everyone’s life but it’s killing me. So you can either believe in God and goodness, or you can believe it’s pointless, it’s cruel, and it’s random whatever makes you happier. Are you? Happy? It’s not narcissism. Then what is it? I don’t… Pain. Unimaginable pain. God’s not indifferent to out pain. Listen the tikkun olam means that the world is full of brokenness and it’s our job to put it back together again. It assumes that the world is broken and in need and in pain. And it’s our job to fix it.
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