obsessed

|| indie priv && sel. yoonbum || || muse && mun 18+ || || WARNING: triggering material ||

[wonting]

[beesandbombs]

drops on a pond 🌧

[alapsha]

[inner]

[stalkrbvm-archive]

;;psa!!!!!!!

;; Bum has his own blog now! It’s the same url as before @stalkrbvm! I’ll be following y’all back over there soon~

[coldplayern]

[stalkrbvm-archive]

xhsangwoo:

              Scooting closer and placing a hand behind of Bum’s frame, Sangwoo hushed him and ran his fingers through his hair to help him relax further until eyelids fell shut and a sigh of relief left his lips. He laid back down, resting on his side with an arm drappling on the other’s waist as kept him close but unlike Bum, Sangwoo didn’t fall asleep right away. Instead, he remained staring at him for quite a while.

||✖–✖|| - The captive nuzzled against Sangwoo, dreaming of a better world where he and Sangwoo could be together, really together and in love. He knew it was impossible, but he clung to this dream.  ❝ s-sangwoo. lo-ve you, ❞ he murmured in his sleep. In the poor man’s mind, his imaginary Sangwoo replied, ‘ My dear, I love you too.’

[stalkrbvm-archive]

PSA

;; surprised by the url change? Bum’s getting his own blog!! I’ll follow all of my mutuals here on that one once things are settled. Sorry for the inconvenience!!

[stalkrbvm-archive]

;; anyone interested in a ship with this sad lil bean? sangwoo need not fucking apply (lol jk we can talk ‘bout it) 

[stalkrbvm-archive]

;; I’m thinking about making Bum his own blog. What say you all? I love him as a muse honestly, and I want to do more with him. 

[stalkrbvm-archive]

“Who did this to you?” ( forgive me but I thought it would be something nice to send in )

@neverlcsehope // have a young Bum

||✖–✖|| - ❝ n-no one. i fell, ❞ the boy said, blank faced. He couldn’t believe anyone cared enough to ask. He knew he was a freak. Everyone told him plenty of times. His teachers, the other kids, his uncle, everyone made sure to remind him just how much of a freak he was. 

The woman seemed nice though. He hoped that he could see her again some day. 

[spctlessminds]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[somemusiings]

send 웃 + a sentence for a reply from my muse’s younger self!

“Who did this to you?”

“You have pretty eyes.”

“Should you be doing that?”

“There’s no place like home.”

“Why ask for the moon when you can have the stars?”

“Okay, go ahead, tell me the joke.”

“Where’s your mother?”

“Do your parents know you’re out here? Does anyone know?”

“We all have secrets: the ones we keep…and the ones that are kept from us.”

“Do you have enough money for that?”

“You look just like her.”

“Wait, what did you just say?”

“Do you want a friend?”

“That’s not a nice word!”

“Were they mean to you?”

“I’m sorry they were mean to you.”

“Everyone’s afraid of something.”

“People are frightened by what they don’t understand.”

“Don’t doubt yourself, kiddo. Doubt kills.”

“Aren’t you too young to say that?”

“You’ve never seen that movie?”

“Are you crying?”

“Smile, kid! You won’t be this young forever.”

“You have siblings?”

“Well, do you want a little sister?”

“Well, do you want a little brother?”

“I’m sure she’s/he’s looking down on you.”

“Hey! Do or do not. There is no try.”

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

“What happened to her/him?”

“Do you know that place between being asleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams,”

“Enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Don’t grow up, kid.”

“Oooh, do you have a crush?”

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game!”

[stalkrbvm-archive]

xhsangwoo:

      The request wasn’t an odd one and yet, it caught the man off guard with both eyebrows quirking upwards and eyes slightly widening before blinking a few times. “Hm? You want to….” Words trailed off as well as his vision, tearing his gaze away from Bum’s facial features to nowhere in particular while a soft hum was emitted from the back of his throat in thought. Eventually, his smile returned upon those ties, giving him a nod of his head.

       “ ——Alright, but don’t get too used to it.” The space between their bodies was patted with the hand he had used to cup of Bum’s face, inviting him to move closer.

||✖–✖|| - Yoonbum smiled more brightly and curled up with his face buried in Sangwoo’s chest and his arms around the other.  ❝ thank you, thank you, i love you, thank you, ❞ he whispered. His eyes fluttered shut and he fell asleep quickly, pretending that, for once, things were different. That, for once in his life, someone cared about him. 

[dsmembr-blog]

I’ve seen these have more luck than the usual way of promoting, but if you’d be interested in interacting with an Oh Sangwoo from Killing Stalking, would you kindly like and/or reblog this and I’ll give your blog a look see. 

[stalkrbvm-archive]

xhsangwoo:

      Corner of pale tiers twisted upward, enlarging the smile upon his features in immediate response to those reassuring words. Again, there it was that feeling of euphoria; dopamine rushing through him and causing his body to relax, every fiber of his muscles untensing. Index finger and thumb pressed, pinching of Bum’s cheek which had seemed to gain a faint shade of vermillion.

         “ ——Heh….that’s good, cutie.” Words were nearly whispered before leaning closer, guiding Bum’s head with the hand that rested upon his cheek to meet his lips, moving softly against each other. The act of intimacy didn’t last long, but it remained gentle at all time.

||✖–✖|| - The captive smiled into the kiss. At least when they were like this, Yoonbum could pretend he was okay, that he was loved and safe.  ❝ sangwoo? i... i don’t think i can sleep. not unless you h-hold me? if you don’t mind! ❞ he stuttered, blushing brighter.

❝ i don’t want to keep you up... and it’s been like this for a while now. so if it isn’t any trouble, please... ❞

[stalkrbvm-archive]

xhsangwoo:

      His expression remained untouched, unfaced as he lifted his free hand to rest above of Bum’s head and let his fingers run through the dark locks of raven hair in hope of soothing him. A lazy smile, barely visible forced itself upon his lips. Having someone so defendless like Bum made him feel powerful, superior —— to know he had such a strong hold over this man and he was loved unconditionally made his chest tighten with euphoria rushing through his system.

         “ ——I won’t hurt you if you’re good…you will good now, right? You won’t try to escape again, mhm?” The motion of his hand stopped once it had slid over to his cheek, cupping it and brushing his thumb across of it. “You won’t leave because you love me, right, Bum?”

||✖–✖|| - He leaned into the touch, slowly calming down. His sobs turned to hiccups, then to quiet sniffles. ❝ i won’t leave. i-i love you. i love you, i love you. i-i love you, s-sangwoo! ❞ he repeated as though his life depended on those words. Because in a way it did. He was safe as long as Sangwoo loved him, or at least was pleased with him. If Yoonbum loving Sangwoo would please them, then the captive would have to love his captor, with all his heart.