Bardoka sheep 🐑
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d e v o n

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almost home

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@stamaticsoup2ig
Bardoka sheep 🐑
Healing Food from the Heart 💕
Authors note: im not dead im just unmotivated ehe sorry. This is somewhat a crack fic and somewhat a brainrot fic.
Summary: You never realized that carving curry will lead you to learning that you can heal people through food~
Warnings: Cult AU, mentions of blood and injury but it’s not really graphic.
【zhongli,venti,albedo】
aaaand here’s the second request i goofed on
also i swear y’all are slowly turning me into a bit of an albedo simp.
s/o is very blunt and apathetic
warnings ; none
Source
*emerges from damp cave, throws this at you and disappears again*
you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up
as inspired by the fact that dottore is very likely wearing a harness or some shit under his shirt 👍
(calling dottore a manwhore (half-jokingly); yanking that mfer around or smth idk; also not beta read lmao) this is a leel bit spicy???? i think? i have no idea anymore lmao
he certainly seemed to love talking. did he just love the sound of his own voice that much? with a loud sigh, you leaned your head on your wrist, barely processing anything he was saying. you heard the words, but they mostly just glazed over you.
(Y/N) Come Home
Part 3 of Taking Ls in the Abyss
i had some childe brain rot towards the end of it and it shows lmao - also there’s a bit of a cut-off, but that’s just cuz i’m gonna split this second event at the bar into two
ft. aether, diluc, albedo, rosaria (new!), yelan (new!), childe
TAGLIST: (lmk if you wanna be added or removed)
@q804 @veralioz
word count: 3.8K (that’s why i’m splitting it up lol)
It had been 3 days in Teyvat since you had gone missing. Word had spread like a wildfire through your crowd of new-found "acquaintances" that you had gone missing. Worries were raised, particularly since you had been living in everyone’s heads rent free. The search search spanned from Mondstadt forests, Liyue mountains and Inazuman seas. Missing persons cases are handled by the Knights of Favonius, so they were searching for you themselves. Beidou heard the news and offered to look for you out at sea in the event you had somehow found yourself on another boat. Even the adepti were keeping their eyes out for you, should you come stumbling into one of their abodes.
Aether is in and over his head since he was the one that was supposed to be looking out for you specifically from the Abyss. Every minute you were gone, it became more and more obvious that you had fallen into the hands of the Abyss. It's a matter he would prefer to tell as little people as possible so as not to create any more worry than necessary. But as usual, no word uttered in Tevyat goes unnoticed, so a sort of task-force had been automatically assembled, more or less against his will. The group stands at the foot of a cliff face not far from Dragonspine, supposedly not far from some sort of domain with Abyssal ties.
“That’s where my heart used to be.”
Asking domestic violence victims why wouldn't they leave is evil when in reality many of them do not have the funds to leave. Where would they even go? Many leaves then the kindness runs out and they have to go back to their abusers for survival. Advocating for universal housing and healthcare is advocating for victims.
???? Do you think homeless people don’t have a higher rates of facing violence or? Like do u know that abuse victims are at danger the most when they’re attempting to leave their abusers. Literally why be fucking stupid like this close your mouth.
velma's gay (and so am i)
Your Standard Impostor AU (2)
Part 2 to this post (Your standard Impostor AU) and Part of the 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 for Thursday!
Here's the part 2 ya'll so desperately craved
[Warning: Detached head from body, mentions of injuries, mentions of execution and death, light cursing]
My uncut version of that one scene
Hey guys, just got here…
I love them… SO much
🌶️ Imagine your sweet boy Albedo brewing you a cup of tea (or coffee...whatever suits you) and just enjoying the afternoon with you.
In the evening, you two fooled around and Albedo's idea of foreplay is to finger you roughly, making sure to focus on your spongy spot and to rub on your sensitive clit. It felt so good but somehow you couldn't cum even if Albedo is being relentless towards your aching pussy. Your back kept arching, and breathing already hitched. Orgasm feels so close - so close yet so far away. You wanted to burst. You are on edge; so frustrated; already crying and whining to Albedo that you wanted to cum but couldn't. He promises you that he'll make you cum, cooing you gently as he places sweet kisses on your forehead.
It turns out he added a little something to your drink and it hinders you from cumming. Your cure is on the lubricant he is spreading on his dick. The cure does not take effect immediately, no. That way, it gives him time to savour your more tighter than ever gummy walls clenching around his eager cock as you try to cum.
Sweet Albedo has plotted everything but he won't tell you that.
Hello!
Character interaction event ! ! ~
Talking to Xiao
“ I love you so much that I want to literally bounce on your lap 24/7, you’re such a cutie! “
Take care !<3
Thanks for the ask anon, you take care of yourself too! 💜
This post contains NSFW implications 💜
“B-bounce…?” Xiao started, looking anywhere except at you. He covered his mouth, half turning away in an attempt to hide his red face.
He felt as if he was going to pass out right then and there, as your awaiting gaze only intensified the longer he stayed silent.
Not only that, but you said that you loved him and you thought he was cute.
And to top it off, you had implied… something… involving bouncing.
He needed to leave, and leave fast before you saw the “issue” currently making itself known in his pants.
“M-my apologies, Your Grace.” He stammered, as he disappeared into his usual teal mist.
Hoyoverse Dev! Reader x Genshin
Summary: You got isekai’d into Genshin, in which you had designed many character outfits. They have some questions for you!
Characters: Kaeya, Childe, Ei
Warnings: Slightly suggestive, Crack, reader is a simp.
Also: Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Please enjoy! <3
Childe & the stomach window
“Y’know, I wouldn’t have thought that you would design an outfit like this.” He said, gesturing to the open area on his torso. “Do you have a thing for abs or something?”
You choked on your drink, desperately trying to recompose yourself. “Uh n-no.” You said, “Designs always need unique elements. The design team debated that part for…”
He stared at you, as you went on a rant about elements of design, and player preferences. One thing stood out in particular. You made a comment about how the stomach window was popular among fans, and how many players “simped” for him.
He interrupted your mini speech, “Never mind the player’s opinions. Is this something you find attractive?”
You stared at him, before speaking in a monotone voice. “Oh yes Childe I just find you so very attractive that I just want to take off your jacket and see the rest, and preferably stare at you for hours on end.”
“Oh really?” He asked, matching your blank face and tone. “I could show you right now.”
His gloved hand reached for his collar, but he was interrupted by a groan in your direction.
“We. Are. In. A. Restaurant.” You said. “Keep your clothes on, unless you want to be arrested for public indecency.”
The waiter passed your table and gave you both a weird look. You turned your focus back to Childe, determined to not get kicked out.
“Wouldn’t being in public make it more fun though?” He said mischievously, looking up at you through a hooded gaze.
“WHAT-“
You both were asked to leave.
Kaeya & Complicated clothes
“Since you designed these, I’m assuming you know how to get these off? Just in case you didn’t know, I’m a visual learner.” He teased, bringing your hand to the choker around his neck. His eyes sparkled, peering into yours, as a raging blush formed on your cheeks.
“So, what do you say?” He asked, smirking.
You were getting a bit nervous from the close proximity, but you decided to at least try to form a coherent response.
“Don’t you have to change out of those everyday?” You gulped, trying to back away, despite the secure hold he had on you.
He lowered his head, until his lips were brushing against the shell of your ear.
“It seems to be that I have forgotten.” He whispered.
That was the last thing you remembered, as you blacked out right then and there.
…
After recovering from a particularly bad nose bleed at the Favonious Cathedral, you received an official apology from none other than Acting Grand Master Jean herself, on behalf of Kaeya’s “bothersome” behavior.
Ei & the Chest window
Ei didn’t really notice that her “chest window” could be considered odd until she overheard your conversation with Childe. Apparently open areas of clothing that are normally cover could be considered… lewd.
“Ei, why is your face so red?” You asked, worriedly pressing your palm to her forehead. She had been unusually silent, and avoiding your gaze for almost the entirety of your picnic.
“N-nothing!” She stuttered, moving away from your hand.
You gave her a look, clearly not buying it.
“You know you can always talk to me if something’s bothering you.” You said, still concerned about her behavior.
She seemed to consider your words before huffing.
“Alright.” She mumbled. “I happened to overhear your conversation with Childe earlier today about his… stomach window.”
You nodded, encouraging her to continue.
She inhaled, seeming to prepare herself.
“Did you design this…” she pointed to her chest, “With anything particular mind?”
It suddenly occurred to you that she was asking about her chest window. You laughed a little, amused by the returning heat across her cheeks.
“There was one key reason…” you trailed off, taking note of her intense stare.
“You see… there is a specific term that people in my old world used to use for people like you.”
She leaned forward, determined to hear your next words.
“Mommy.”
“I- Excuse me?” She questioned, shock and disbelief written over her expression.
“I dunno about the others, but that was my main reason.” You shrugged, shoving some dango in your mouth.
Ei tried to come up with something else to say, but no words came to mind. She gave up, also deciding to eat some dango.
The rest of the picnic went smoothly, but you could swear that you saw her looking over at you throughout the afternoon.