Frappes and Firearms

[starbucksandshotguns]

Vanilla Skies

Or the Great Ice Cream Fiasco of 2014. 

So I got this prompt from Amari :

How about a fic where Ray accidentally drops an entire ice cream cone on Joel’s head, which Joel takes a challenge, and they have an ice cream war of throwing spoonfuls at each other. Kind of like Kung-shoe, but ice cream.

And this isn't exactly what you asked for, but hopefully it works! 

When asked afterwards Ray would swear up and down the street that it was an accident. Joel just happened to be sitting where Ray happened to throw his ice cream on accident. Its not his fault his coordination was only good during video games. Which is why, when an angry Burnie confronted Ray and the aforementioned older man about the Great Ice Cream Fiasco of 2014.

  On what was seemingly an unassuming Wednesday, Ray was taking a much needed break after a long day of recording. And as an adult at an adult company, he decided to take a spoon and a carton of vanilla ice cream and sit in the break room shoveling ice cream as fast as he could without getting brain freeze. He failed. While Ray, in a totally not over dramatic way, was literally rolling on the floor groaning about his ice cream headache Joel walked in immediately laughing at Ray’s plight.

  “Don’t laugh asshole, this is a serious medical condition!” Ray whined as he took his seat back at the table.

“I know thinking hurts your brain Ray, but I’d hardly call that a serious medical condition.” Joel replied smirking as he walked to the fridge to get a snack for himself.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Just because you’re too old to understand the joy that is ice cream doesn't mean you have to ruin the fun for everyone.” Ray replied, maturely sticking his tongue out, and going straight back to his ice cream. His ice cream bliss was rudely interrupted by Joel slamming his own carton of ice cream next to him, in a challenging manner.

Now, a normal person would have maybe jumped a little bit. Maybe let out a little yell. Ray was not a normal person. Instead he screamed, flailed his arms and nearly fell out of his chair. Now this would have been fine, except for the fact his hands had been tightly gripped around his ice cream container. Or rather, just a container now, as all of the ice cream flew out of the container upon Ray’s surprised jump. Some was on the floor, some on the table, but most had ended up all over the face of one pissed off looking kinda old man. It took a few seconds for everything to register to Ray.

  “Oh shit! Oh shit,” Ray began to panic, “I am so sorry dude! Let me hel-” rays please of forgiveness were horrifically cut short by Joel upending his own ice cream, chocolate, all over Ray’s head. Slowly ray took in a deep breath before taking off his glasses slowly and placing them on the table.

“This. Means. War.” Ray stated through clenched teeth as he tackled Joel to the ground and began to rub ice cream all over the other man’s shirt. Once Joel shook off his surprise, he returned the favor in kind, wiping ice cream on Ray’s shirt and eventually just putting more ice cream on Ray’s face. They struggled like this for a few minutes before they were interrupted by a loud cough.

  Both men froze and looked up to see the visage of their boss glaring at them. Upon further observation they also saw most of the achievement hunters, the RWBY crew and Barbara cackling about how great an RT Life this was going to make.

“Morons. This gets cleaned up in before lunch or we need to have a talk.” Burnie said, rolling his eyes at his idiotic employees before turning to address the rather sizeable crowd. “And the rest of you, get back to work!”

  And with that it was over. It took all of two seconds for Ray and Joel looking at themselves before they both burst into shared laughter over their disheveled states. It took two more seconds for them to realize they were in a bit of an awkward position, with Ray on top of Joel, nearly plastered to the older man with wet ice cream. It took half a second for Ray’s face to burn red underneath the chocolate ice cream.

  Quickly Ray jumped to his feet, offering his hand to Joel to help him up. Joel raised an eyebrow before taking the younger man's hand and getting off of the ground and onto his feet.

“So, uh. That was something,” Ray broke the silence nervously, bringing his right hand up and rubbing his neck while looking at the mess they made.

“That it was, not necessarily a bad thing either,” Joel said side eyeing Ray. “Though there is one thing I regret.”

“And what’s that?” Ray replied as he started to gather cleaning supplies.

“I never did get my snack. I have you to blame for that.” Joel replied slowly walking over to Ray.

“Yeah I am really sorry about that! Can I make it up to you?” Ray asked eagerly, suddenly realizing how close Joel had gotten. When he turned to face Joel he found that they were barely inches from each other. Ray began to wonder if the burning would ever leave his face. Joel’s smirk turned predatory.

“I can think of a few things” Ray swallowed the lump in his throat. “Starting with lunch today after you clean up.”

“Lu-lunch?” Ray squeaked before coughing and getting his voice under control. “Yeah totally cool! That makes sense with the no snac-what was that about me cleaning up?” Ray’s momentary bliss was cut short by the realization Joel wanted him to clean the whole mess. “No we made this together, we clean this to-” Ray was once again cut short, this was beginning to become a thing with them, by Joel shutting Ray up with a rough kiss.

It later occurred to Ray, as he was cleaning the mess alone, that the kiss was mostly used as a manipulation tactic to get Joel out of cleaning duty. It also occurred to Ray that they had a lunch date later, and that he had quite a bit of time to plan revenge.

[remember-the-mole]

joELAY SMUT IDDERR

JOEL PURCHASES THAT 55 GALLON LUBE BARREL.

[starbucksandshotguns]

"Joel what the fuck is that"

"I found it on Amazon. And if I bought it before the timer ran out I would get it on Amazon Prime."

"…Why the fuck did you think we needed that much fucking lube?"

"Well it is ‘fucking’ lube, and we are two healthy males."

"…God. Damn. It."

[remember-the-mole]

You are a good friend, you know that?

[starbucksandshotguns]

I try

[remember-the-mole]

joELAY SMUT IDDERR

JOEL PURCHASES THAT 55 GALLON LUBE BARREL.

[starbucksandshotguns]

"Joel what the fuck is that"

"I found it on Amazon. And if I bought it before the timer ran out I would get it on Amazon Prime."

"...Why the fuck did you think we needed that much fucking lube?"

"Well it is 'fucking' lube, and we are two healthy males."

"...God. Damn. It."

[remember-the-mole]

Getting What is Owed (4/?)

Pairing: Joelay Word Count: 867 Warnings: Kisses

Summary: Ray has been having nightmares about a Demon, and they feel so damn real. And why does the Demon keep calling him “His Angel”?

Ray is tired today.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

(HEY GUYS, LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!)

—

Read More

[remember-the-mole]

Battle of the Summons

Characters: Joel and Ray (Not a relationship fic by any means.) Warnings: There’s cursing.  Word Count: 2,961

Summary: Ray was born as a Summoner, and as a Summoner he is meant to serve the people. This one particular job has him going down an abandoned temple with no idea of what he’s going to find.

——

Read More

[remember-the-mole]

reblogging~

[ahvvu]

team lads takin a snooze

[blackthornrook]

my dream is to write a story that people like so much that they do fanart of it

[remember-the-mole]

Pairing: Joelay Rating: None (unless you have an aversion to the concept of Spirits) Word count: 3,550

Joel is a silver fox spirit Summary: Ray could see spirits, but there was one he never saw. For the longest time he heard the Spirit’s bells, always chiming, but he...

[starbucksandshotguns]

It's a Jungle Out There

A/N: So uh, sorry for the wait on this. I've been busy with college and I hit a wall with my writing and had to rework the direction I was going for this. Let me know what you think!

Summary: Three years have passed, bands have changed, and Michael gets the chance of a lifetime (thanks to his asshole of a best friend).

Warnings: Cursing, mention of sexual content

Chapter One, Chapter Two.

Three years. Three years, four different rotations of his band, and a shitty electrician job. Needless to say Michael was not too thrilled with how his life had turned out. The one thing he had going for him was Ray. They played games together, they lamented about their shitty jobs together (Ray’s job at GameStop made for many entertaining stories about awful customers), but most importantly they played together.

While Rage Quit had remained a band, they had gone through quite a few lead singers and lead guitarists. Not many people could handle the way Michael’s temper flared when he fully immersed himself in the creative process. (Ray always joked they were fairly lucky that only one fist fight had broken out so far. In Michael’s defense, the guy was a prick. ) So far, Ray was the only person Michael met that could handle him outside of his family. Michael was also one of a few people who could handle how much of an asshole Ray could be.

Between Michael’s rage and Ray’s asshole-ish tendencies, they haven’t been able to really have a band to speak of since their first few months.  Nevertheless, Michael and Ray kept jamming together in Ray’s apartment, in the hopes that one day they would be able to make something of themselves. Though hope can only go so far.

“Why the hell are we even doing this?” Michael asked, suddenly stopping playing his drum set.

“Dude you have to be more specific,” Ray replied, turning around to look at Michael.

“This!” Michael growled, throwing his drumsticks against the wall as he stood and started to pace the room. “We have tried this shit three times! Three fuckin-”

“Four actually.”

“Even fucking worse! No one is going to fucking take us seriously, we’re just two fucking kids banging around on shitty instruments!”

“Actually I am plucking on my shitty instrument.” Ray replied with a smirk.

“God fucking damn it! Not the fucking point asshole!” As his temper flared Michael began to get louder and violently accentuate his words with his hands. “ The point is we should fucking do something better with our lives!”

There was silence in the room as Michael’s words really hit home.

“You’re right.” Ray replied, putting down his bass and walking towards his computer. “Rage Quit is going to really go anywhere if we keep scaring away our bandmates. We aren’t the Black Keys, we can’t work with two people. You deserve better than that. Rage Quit was your baby, your fucking dream is music. I’m just a shockingly white Puerto Rican that can work a bass.”

“Ray, I- dude that’s not what I meant- ”

“Michael let me finish. I was going to bring this up earlier anyway, Achievement Hunter is in town next week, and they are auditioning for a drummer. Haywood is going on ‘paternity leave’. You should try out. You could do it.” Ray turned his computer around, showing the poster advertising the audition.

Wordlessly, Michael slowly walked toward Ray and sat down in front of the computer. After nervously tapping on the desk Michael smiled.

“You know, for an asshole, you make a pretty good best friend.” Michael grinned.

“I know I’m the greatest, I’m glad to see you finally admit it.”

“Greatest my ass! Set up your Xbox, I need to put you in your place.”

“Call of Duty?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not that stupid.”Michael laughed as he walked towards the phone to order some pizza, and in the back of his mind already thinking about what he would play as his audition piece.

“Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Next!” Geoff called as the latest hopeful, some thirty something that couldn’t hold a rhythm to save his life. “Why did we hold an open audition? We’re Achievement Hunter for fucks sake,” Geoff grumbled as he looked back down at the list of people auditioning to be their temporary drummer.

“Because Geoffrey, taking chances never hurt anybody!” Gavin replied, as enthusiastic as ever.

“Says the guy that ”

“At least we got free lunch,” Jack said, cutting off Geoff’s next complaint.

“Yeah shitty barbeque. Texas ruined me, we’re in New York, couldn’t a pizza joint decide to send us food for publicity?”

“Oh Pizza sounds top! Can we get some after this? And maybe some bevs?”

“When you lean to speak like a fucking human being. I mean seriously, you've been crashing at my place for three fucking years now, you should have picked something up you British asshole. I swear making you lead singer was the dum-”

“Uh.. hi?” Michael said awkwardly, as he stepped into the room. “Uh, the guy outside told me to head on in.”

“Yeah, Gus is pretty good about that timing thing. One of the only reasons we get shit done,’’ Geoff said fondly, before he fixed Michael with a serious look. “What’s your name kid?”

“Michael Jones, sir.”

“Don’t call me sir, makes me feel old.”

“But you are old Geoff,”Gavin replied laughing.

“Its true,” Jack agreed with a smirk, “You’ve probably been touring for longer than he was born.”

“Fuck you guys, I will fire both your asses!” Geoff yelled as his voice cracked.

Michael’s nervousness began to fade as he desperately tried to hold in his giggles. Michaels knew he failed when Geoff’s glares turned from Gavin and Jack to himself.

“Alright, enough jokes. Show us what you got. What are you playing for us tonight?”

“Uh, ‘Tom Sawyer’ by Rush,” Michael replied with his eyes on the drums. He rushed over, rolling his drumsticks in his hands and gingerly sitting down. Jack raised his eyebrow and Gavin smiled widely. Geoff merely raised an eyebrow.

“Interesting choice,” Geoff made a continue motion with his hand, “You can start whenever you’re ready.”

Michael closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before getting into a proper playing position. Keeping his eyes shut he began to play. He channeled all of his musical passion into how he played. His hands remained steady as he let the music happen. Slowly, Michael began to lose the nervousness and he began to move his body in time with his rhythm. By the time he finished Michael was throwing his body around with more energy than he thought he had. Once he was finished he let the last sound ring in the room for a few seconds before he opened his eyes.

Michael was met with three incredibly impressed faces. Realizing his audition was over, Michael quickly stood up from the drum set, knocking into the cymbal and nearly knocking it over. At the loud noise, the three judging his performance quickly snapped out of their stupors and Geoff cleared his throat.

“Thank you for your audition, when we make a decision we will-”

“Bloody Hell that was amazing!” Gavin interrupted excitedly, “You are the second best drummer I’ve ever heard, the best is Ryan of course. He’s terrifying but he can work a drum set. But Michael! You were amazing!”

“But Micool,” Geoff and Jack mimicked.

“Seriously Gavin, suck his dick already god.” Geoff replied rolling his eyes. Michael immediately blushed then looked down.

“In all seriousness Geoff, the kids pretty damn good.” Jack replied thoughtfully, fixing Geoff with a look. Wordlessly, Jack and Geoff seemed to have a discussion while Gavin loudly continued to compliment Michael’s drum playing.

“Oh Michael! I love the way your whole body got into it! You were top!” Unable to keep his mouth shut any longer, Michael looked up and met Gavin’s gaze.

“What the fuck is ‘top’ dude?”

“Like the top of a totem pole, Michael, you’re tippy toppers!”

“...Tippy Toppers? Are you fucking five years old?” Michael replied laughing, “Who fucking says that?”

“Oi! What’s wrong with how I talk?” Gavin replied, scowling.

“You aren’t using words!” Michael yelled as he raised his hands in the air. Suddenly Gavin began to leer.

“Oh Michael, you are a sight when you’re angry!” Michael responded by turning a shade of red and glaring at the Brit.

“Well you know-” Geoff interrupted the two with a loud cough.

“This won’t be a problem will it?” Geoff asked Michael. All Michael could respond with was a confused look.

“Will what be a problem for what?”

“Gavin. He is a bit of an asshole.I’m pretty sure this is all sexual frustration, but we don’t want our drummer and lead singer actually hating each other.”

“It’s not sexual frustration! But he totally is an asshole! And-and what?” Michael finished, dropping his jaw and staring at Geoff.  In return Geoff just grinned.

“Welcome to Achievement Hunter, kid. Don’t fuck it up”

[remember-the-mole]

GUYS. I JUST THOUGHT OF A THING

How about a series where in each chapter Joel or Ray get hurt in stupid activities, each titled like this:

"A Lesson Learned: Box Cutters Are Sharp"

"A Lesson Learned: Carpets Are Slippery"

"A Lesson Learned: Stairs and Gravity will never be an OTP"

"A Lesson Learned: Pencils can actually be weapons."

[starbucksandshotguns]

"A Lesson Learned: The Inside of Hot Pockets are Molten Lava"

"A Lesson Learned: Never Leave Ray Alone with a Fork"

"A Lesson Learned: Lemon Juice Should Not Go in Eyes"

[frappesandfirearms]

Here is an informative guide to explain to you how Gavin got his job at RoosterTeeth and why he has been adopted by the Ramsey family.

Original comic can be found here !

[starbucksandshotguns]

This is absolutely fantastic! 

[remember-the-mole]

SHUT THE HELL UP THEY'RE GREAT IDEAS

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THEY ARE GREAT IDEAS, CLOGGING A TAG IS CLOGGING A TAG.

[mirandabeach-deactivated2020112]

ITS NOT CLOGGING IF IT UPDATES LIKE 50 TIMES A DAY

[remember-the-mole]

WELL, IF PEOPLE JUST WROTE MY STORIES FOR ME, I THINK THAT WOULD HELP A LOT.

EJ.

WRITE MY CAMPING FIC FOR ME.

[starbucksandshotguns]

Did somebody say write Amari prompts?

[starbucksandshotguns]

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

Another one for Amari!

Prompt: "Joelay: Joel is actually a fantastic cook, but too lazy to cook. Ray tests his claim of being amazing."

Pairing: Joelay

Warnings: Cursing, Mildly Suggestive Content

Song Used: "Vegas Lights" by Panic! at the Disco

It was the third night in a row that they had take out when it was brought up.

“This chicken is shit” Joel muttered as he put his chicken wing back down on the plate, just barely stopping himself from wiping his tongue on his napkin.

“”Don’t complain if you can’t do it better.” Ray responded around a mouthful of fried chicken.

“I can do it better.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’ll prove it to you.” Joel responded before biting into one of the baby carrots that came with the chicken. Ray rolled his eyes.

“Sure you will. Now help pick a movie, I need my daily dose of entertainment.”

“Am I not entertaining enough for you?” Joel smirked, as he moved so he was towering over Ray.

“Let me finish eating first!” Ray replied as he shoved Joel away, “I need energy before we do our horizontal tango.” Joel responded with a laugh and went to their DVD collection to choose a movie, Pacific Rim.

That was the end of the food conversation for nearly a month until Joel took a day off. While that was out of the norm for his boyfriend, Ray was pretty relieved that Joel took some time to himself. He was quite the workaholic. Ray though that Joel would be playing Halo or whatever and probably taking a well deserved nap. In case Joel was sleeping, when he returned home after work he tried to stay as quiet as possible. The he heard music coming from the kitchen. Ray thought maybe Joel had left the TV on or something. What he didn’t expect to see was his boyfriend dancing around the kitchen.

“And the Vegas lights where villains spend the weekend the deep end, we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown,” Joel was singing lightly under his breath while he was scraping some red looking icey stuff (Ray wasn’t the best with cooking things, there was a reason he called himself a fast food connoisseur) on the countertop before he danced over to the stove top where he was flipping something in the small deep frier Ray did not know they owned.

“The Vegas lights the lies and affectations, sensations, we’re winning til the curtains coming do-” Joel stopped singing suddenly when he looked up to the doorway of the kitchen where Ray was leaning, a soft smile on his face.

“....You’re home early” Joel said, as he smiled sheepishly.

“You’re cooking. And singing. And dancing” Ray responded walking up to Joel wrapping his arms around him. The was a panicked look on Joel’s face before he quickly ran to the fryer and pulled the pieces of chicken out of the fryer and placed them on a plate with paper towels. He began to put some hand cut fries in the fryer when he heard a soft, over exaggerated cough.

“So uh, what can I do to help?” Ray replied, slightly swaying to the beat of the song that was still playing.

“You see the watermelon granita on the counter?” When his question was met by silence Joel turned and pointed to the red mixture in the clear, deep, baking dish on the counter. “Take that and the the fork still in it and scrape until its all scraped.” Ray nodded and got to work, his tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly as he concentrated on the task at hand.  Joel smiled to himself as he finished the rest of the meal.

About fifteen minutes later, Joel was done making dinner and Ray had finished scraping. Joel pressed repeat on the song and pulled the granita back from Ray and put it in the freezer. Before Ray could interject, Joel pulled him into his arms and he swayed them to the song, softly singing into Ray’s ear as best he could. Ray just buried his head into Joel’s chest and sang with him during the chorus, the only part of the song he knew. The stood together for a few moments after the song had ended and the kitchen fell to silence. Joel finally placed a kiss on top of Ray’s head before reluctantly pulling away from Ray and making plates for dinner. Ray went to the living room and picked a movie to go with dinner, Captain America.

Joel brought two plates with fried chicken and french fries and placed one in front of Ray before he look at his boyfriend expectantly. Without pause Ray too a large bite out of one of the pieces of chicken, nearly moaning at the taste.

“Holy shit Joel” Ray commented before scarfing the rest of the piece of chicken down and licking his fingers. “Forget Roosterteeth, you should be a chef!” Joel smiled back almost bashfully before taking a bite of his own chicken. They ate the rest of the meal without speaking, Ray being too entranced by the food itself and Joel basking in the happiness that came from seeing his boyfriend happy with something he made. When the meal was finished Joel brought both plates to the kitchen and returned with two glasses filled with the watermelon granita. Excitedly, Ray took a large bite and he was not disappointed.

“Why don’t you cook like this more often?” Ray asked after he finished his granita.

“It is very time consuming. When I get home from work I don’t want to keep working for my food.” Joel responded before taking the used glasses to the kitchen before returning to the living room and cuddling close to Ray on the couch.

“...Could you cook for me again sometime?” Ray asked nervously as he looked up to Joel. After kissing him briefly, Joel looked up to the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.

“Well, how about this. Every time I get a day off or I get to leave work early, I’ll make dinner? Sound good?”

“Sounds fucking awesome.” Ray replied as he leaned up to kiss Joel, who returned the kiss quite passionately. Ray pulled away to give Joel smirk and wagging his eyebrows.

“I may not know what to do in the kitchen, but I sure know how to handle myself in the bedroom.” Groaning at how awful that line was, Joel nonetheless picked Ray up and carried him to the bedroom, to prove just how true that statement was.

[starbucksandshotguns]

Sooo I have some free time. Does anyone have a good prompt or whatnot for me?

[starbucksandshotguns]

Heart-Shaped Locket

Another of Amari's prompts! This one found here. I did stray a little from the prompt but I hope you like it anyway!

Pairing: Joelay

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Ray never thought a necklace could change his life. Joel never thought he could fuck up so badly. 

Ray never expected to find jewelry in the Roosterteeth parking lot, but there it was. It was a fairly large sized locket, shaped as a heart on a long silver chain. It had a set of silver wings wings that wrapped around a red stone with a keyhole on the front. After holding it up and angling it towards the sun, Ray was able to see that there was a piece of paper and another unrecognizable object inside. After trying to force it open for a few minutes Ray shrugged and put the locket in his pocket as he walked into work.

Joel in the meantime was having a minor freak out. He had gotten to work early in order to finish his work and get out of the office early and now he might as well as slept in with Ray. He had planned this night for months, he had written up a schedule for God’s sake, and he had lost the most important part of the event. He could barely on his work as he thought of all of the places he could have left it when he was shook out of his thoughts, literally, by Burnie.

“Joel! What is wrong with you today?” Burnie asked, sounding a little annoyed.

“Nothing is wrong today!” Joel responded a bit too quickly. When that response was met with a raised eyebrow from Burnie Joel sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Its nothing work related! I just. I have been planning this night for Ray for months, made sure everything was perfect, and everything just fucking crumbled to fucking pieces!” Joel groaned putting his head in his hands. Concerned, Burnie pulled up a chair and and pat him on the back in a comforting manner.

“You have to be more specific Joel, I can’t help you otherwise.”

“I lost the entire point for this thing this morning. I thought it was in my back pocket. Apparently that pocket has a hole in it and now I have no idea where it is and I have no idea what to do!”

“Well, its obvious you aren’t going to get any work done today. I’m sending you home sick, go find whatever it is and get your life back on track Heyman.” Burnie smiled sympathetically as he left. Immediately Joel packed his belongings and sprinted out the door, briefly stopping by the Achievement Hunter office to find out when Ray would be done with work, and then rushing to retrace his steps. Ray, used to the slightly manic antics of his boyfriend after a year of dating, just chuckled to himself as he got back to his Achievement Guide.

Joel ran around the streets of Austin for hours, even stooping to asking passerby on the street if they had seen it before admitting defeat. He sadly walked back to his apartment only thirty minutes before Ray was due to be home, not nearly enough time to set up everything he planned. Shaking himself out of his funk, Joel decided to at least make the nice dinner he had bought the supplies for so that his day wouldn’t be a total waste.

Ray walked into the apartment and was immediately hit with the strong scents of Italian cuisine. Mouthwatering he quickly made his way to the kitchen and saw his boyfriend slowly portioning dinner, a delicious looking chicken marsala, into two dishes. Slowly letting his eyes rake the room, Ray saw that their dining room table was decorated quite nicely with a white tablecloth he didn’t know they owned, their nice set of plates, and a bouquet of roses. He also heard soft, calming music coming from their speaker set.

Smiling, Ray waiting until Joel set the plates down before wrapping his arms around Joel and squeezing gently. Joel jolted a little surprised before twisting himself around and pulling Ray into his arms and kissing the top of his head.

“Hey” Ray smiled softly as he tilted his head up towards Joel’s.

“Hey” Joel replied, bending down to give Ray a proper kiss before pulling out of the embrace and pulling a chair out for Ray to sit down for dinner. Giggling, Ray complied sitting and letting Joel push his chair in. Joel taking the seat opposite after brining Ray and himself each a wine glass full of Coca-Cola, earning himself another happy giggle.

They sat discussing Ray’s day at work before lapsing into a comfortable silence as they finished their meals. It was only once Ray stood up to start handling dishes that he felt the weight of the locket he had picked up that morning in his pocket. Putting his plate in the sink, he turned back to Joel pulling the locket out of his pocket.

“I forgot to tell you a weird thing that happened at work today!” Without looking up from doing the dishes Joel snorted.

“Did someone send Gavin more lube?”

“Yes but that’s not the weird thing. I found this in the parking lot.” Joel turned to see what Ray was holding up and nearly dropped the plate he was holding onto the kitchen floor. Noticing his reaction Ray began to worry.

“Are you okay babe? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Ray joked, nervously laughing.

“You could certainly say that. I was actually looking for that locket all day, that’s why I left early.”

“Well its a good thing I found it then!” Ray responded, obviously relieved, as he handed the locket to Joel after he wiped his hands off.

“It certainly is.” Joel muttered as he took the locket in one hand, and Ray’s hand in the other.

“Ray, we have been together for a year now. We’ve been living together for four of those months officially, five months if you count the time you lived at my place, and I have never been happier. This year has been absolutely amazing, and work has become even better now that I can see you everyday and express my love to you whenever I want. Well, as long as I can deal with everyone else's teasing. I can honestly say that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life, and I really, really hope that you can say the same.” Joel let go of Ray’s hand to get the key that he had wrapped around his neck. He handed both the locket and the key to Ray and waited.

A bit overwhelmed, Ray slowly put the used the key and opened the lock. With shaking hands he opened the locket and pulled out the piece of paper and saw a silver band ring with red rubies along its outside. Nearly dropping the locket due to his shaking hands he opened the piece of paper which simply read “Marry me?”

After a silence that seemed to drag on forever, Ray surged forward and kissed Joel passionately.

“Yes!” Ray responded, tearing up with happiness. Joel responded by picking him up and spinning him around then covering his face in kisses. Once the men had calmed down, Joel placed the ring on Ray’s finger and neither man had ever been happier.

  A/N: The ring I envisioned for this is found here.

[starbucksandshotguns]

Popcorn

So I uh, ended up actually writing the thing. Idea from a textpost from remember-the-mole. So uh, enjoy Amari!

Pairing: Joelay

Warnings: Language and sexual content.  

Summary: Joel never had strong impulse control. This just proves that this isn't always a bad thing.

It started out as a joke. Just something he could do to annoy his younger boyfriend, as that was Joel’s favorite pastime. Maybe they would laugh about it, maybe it would become one of their many inside jokes that made them that couple in the minds of their friends.  Instead it turned into a somewhat uncomfortable handjob blowjob combination that will make Joel half hard anytime he smells popcorn butter.

It was Thursday night, weekly movie night in the Heyman-Narvaez household when Joel had a terrible idea. This was an idea that in another human being, would have been written off as a strange though and never thought about again. Joel was never one to let common sense get the best of him, a fact that everyone who knew him would easily agree with. Which is why after he made the bag of popcorn (the self making bowl type, contrary to popular belief Joel knew a good idea when he saw one) he cut a hole in the bottom the size of his dick.

He wasn’t stupid, he let the popcorn cool off before attempting everything, but he did spill quite a bit of the popcorn. He used this as an excuse for taking so long with the popcorn as he settled down and waited for the hilarious reaction of his boyfriend. Well, that was the plan anyway. They were about twenty minutes into the movie before Ray noticed anything. When he did Joel wished he had a camera, as that was one of the most priceless expressions he had ever seen on Ray’s face. It took a few moments before Ray was able to formulate words.

“....Joel”

“What is it Ray? I’m trying to watch the movie.” Joel replied, trying not to let the mirth he was feeling seep into his face.

“Is this your dick?”

“Ray that is popcorn. I know you are a young male and that means you always have sex on your mind, but really this is just ridiculous.”

“Jesus Christ Joel you put your dick in the popcorn” Ray breathed out as he realized what exactly he had in his hand.

“Seriously Ray, just watch the movie. I know you like my dick, but this is really getting out of ha-” Joel’s remark was cut short as the hand on his dick gripped a little tighter. Now Joel’s attention completely left the movie in front of him and was all on his partner.

“Don’t bullshit a man with your dick in his hand Joel. That is just common sense.” Ray looked positively smug as he slowly took the upper hand. Literally.

“Now lets not be rash here,” Joel replied hesitantly, “I’ll take it out and make us a new bag, alright babe?” Apparently, Ray did not agree to that statement, if the hand slowly moving up and down his shaft was any indication.

“Nah, I think we can have some fun with this.” Ray replied as he shifted so he was standing and bent over Joel, one hand on the older man’s shoulder as the other began to quicken in pace.

Movie forgotten Joel groaned and brought one hand to the back of Ray’s neck, pulling him in for a rough kiss. Popcorn spilled everywhere as he began to buck his hips into Ray’s fist. Noticing the problem, Ray took the bag and threw it in order to get more access to Joel’s member.

“If I had-fuck Ray” Joel breathed into Ray’s mouth in between kisses, “If I ha-ah had known this would happen. I would have- Jesus stuck my dick in popcorn a long time ago.” ray laughed as he pulled away from Joel and began to kiss and nip at his neck.

“Don’t be dumb. This will only work once.” Ray responded, accentuating his point by sucking on Joel’s clavicle. Joel responded to that with another, louder moan and returning the favor on the side of Ray’s neck.

When Joel began to buck into his hand more forcefully, and when the kisses became more open mouthed and desperate, Ray took his hand off of his cock. Before Joel could voice any complaints to this fact, Ray had fallen to his knees and replaced his hand with his mouth.

“Jesus fuck Ray” Joel groaned, threading his hands in his boyfriend’s hair. He could feel Ray’s responding smirk as he lickedup Joel’s slick shaft and slowly sucked on his tip, tasting his precum. Before Joel could even think about calling Ray a tease, Ray took him entirely in his mouth and ran his tongue along the underside of his cock, one of his hands gently massaging his balls.

It wasn’t long before Joel began to buck upwards into Ray’s mouth, barely holding himself together. Ray moved his other hand to his own aching member as he felt Joel getting close.

“Ray-I-fuck” was all the warning he was able to give Ray before he came. Ray, not too surprised,  swallowed then slowly pulled off of his cock. Joel quickly pulled Ray back onto the couch and replaced Ray’s hand with his own and began to jerk his boyfriend off. It wasn’t long before Ray was coming into Joel’s hand, groaning and grasping Joel’s hair.

After that Joel unceremoniously collapsed onto Ray, both men slowly gaining back their breath. A few minutes later the comfortable afterglow was broken by a peal of laughter coming from the smaller man.

“What?” Joel asked, smiling as he moved them both into a better position, spooning on the couch facing the previously forgotten movie.

“I have to say,” Ray responded in between giggles, “I never expected to suck popcorn butter flavored dick.” Joel responded by rolling his eyes and hugging his boyfriend tighter, and deciding to leave clean up for tomorrow morning.

[remember-the-mole]

Not a serious question time:

If either Joel or Ray were to do the whole, “stick your dick in the popcorn thing and wait for the other to touch it” thing, which one would be the one to do it? Why do you say that?

[starbucksandshotguns]

I wanna say Ray, because it seems like the childish/kinda annoying thing that he would do to rile Joel up a bit. But I am going to go with Joel because I can see him dong this just to mess with Ray. Like the entire time keep a straight face and say it is just popcorn now watch the fucking movie and forcing Ray to do something about it.