System Restart @starchanged - Tumblr Blog

A Study in: Isolation in a Crowd, Profound Loneliness Amongst an Abundance of Love, the Meaning of Friendship, the Desire to Stop Existing & Growing up in the Digital Age Inspo Found In: The Matrix, Serial Experiments Lain, Kairo / Pulse 2001, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Hiimmarymary, Cornerfolk/Monument Mythos, World of Horror Carrd, Coloring PSD Sideblogs @adventourer(Peony) & @terribullboss(Blueberry OC)

#dnr #((I'll make a proper pinned post later #I just finished most of the carrd now I'm tired of looking at photopea))

kaanta

DO I LOOK LIKE—!?

starchanged

"I mean you KINDA look like my dad. But more in a family resemblance way then a father figure way."

#☆ crack ☆#kaanta #((Penny vc: It's okay Rose I don't see you as a father figure more of a distant uncle))

aelirus

guy who smells self-doubt like a shark smells blood

starchanged

Child absolutely riddled with barely checked self-doubt

#☆ Crack ☆#aelirus #((Penny vc: I'll tell you where I'll be!! In jail for man slaughter if you don't sybau!!!#Penny vc: Suddenly I don't like you anymore >:/ ))

aelirus

If you want the peace you're searching for, you'll have to accept going against the government regardless. I'm not sure your convictions are in the right place, but that's no matter of mine.

starchanged

Man I just want to hang with my friends and my Veevees without being harassed. Don't go making me question my morals and convictions right now.

#aelirus #✩ crack ✩#((Team Galactic Born 9/28/06 Team Star Born 11/18/22 #Welcome back Team Galactic KLGJDKGHJG))#((But also the fact this would genuinely shake Penny;s world view love it <3))

Penny vc: I'm annoying and hurt my friends. Also stole from the government but idc about that shit as much. So that obviously means I'm as bad much trouble as a convicted terrorist.

#✩ commentary ✩#✩ crack ✩#((my mentally ill child that is NOT what all that means))#((They still have a very much black & white kinda world view esp in regards to themselves #Which is fascinating to deconstruct & analyze when they're dealing with others cause they're not as harsh))

Grabs onto their hood.

' I think you should leave that man alone. Don't you think he seems like trouble? '

Dangles in his grip like a cat, even though their feet are still touching the ground.

"I don't know. Maybe? But I'm trouble too so like... It's fine. He doesn't seem that bad." Besides all the rumored terrorism but whatever. "Why did he say I was bothering him or something?"

#kaanta #✩ asks ✩#((Rose vc: NOPE NOPE PENNY DEAR STOP TALKING TO MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW))

aelirus

You already meet the proper naming requirements to be part of Team Galactic. You're welcome to join us.

starchanged

No thanks. I already have my own super cool team. Plus I'm already in trouble with the Paldean government, I don't want to be in trouble with Sinnoh's too.

#aelirus #☆ crack ☆#((Penny vc: ... I do wanna see the kanji for this name change tho #nerding out with the local terrorist i mean tourist))

No one look at them, they're relating to a terrorist.

#✩ commentary ✩#✩ crack ✩#aelirus #((Penny vc: Oh mood I also don't know where to place the blame for my suffering so maybe it's the world's fault at large?))

kaanta

' I'd appreciate it if people refrained from saying strange and off-putting things around my nibling. '

starchanged

"It's fine, I'm used to it by now. People say weird and off-putting things to me all the time." Including him sometimes but they're not gonna mention that.

#kaanta #☆ In Character ☆#((Penny vc: People see me & think they can just say weird & off putting things cause I'll relate or something it's normal))#((It's probs cause they also say weird & off putting things but ya know))

If I had a nickle for every time an antagonist related to Penny & Penny related to them I'd have 3 nickles from this blog alone and 1 canonical nickle.

#✩ ooc ✩#tbd #((Looking at you:#kaanta #reiketsui #fleurladari #I love all their relationships & the fact that canon also went #'yeah penny could/would chill with other villains to certain extends'))

"If my totally normal not at all maladjusted uncle says I'm normal then I'm normal!! It's everyone else whose weird!!"

#✩ crack ✩#✩ commentary ✩#kaanta #((Penny vc: Oh thank fuck I was really worried there for a moment))

Penny feels very alienated from their peers. They've felt like this for a very long time and there are many different reasons to why they feel like this. But it isn't just a feeling of 'I'm not like other kids my age' it's more of a feeling like 'I'm not even human'. From the bullying they faced to their repeated abandonment as a child they feel like they not only don't know how to be human but as they are human they must be a bad human, a bad person. For everyone else being human seems to come so easily, so naturally, yet for them they just feel like an outsider watching in and all attempts to fit better as human have resulted in failure. Clearly it must be their fault. Even when they deny it isn't their fault. Logic dictates their the most common factor in all their failures to feel human. So either they're something inhuman, they're better off inhuman or they're just a bad person.

#✩ headcanons ✩#((I was chilling i was vibing then boom I started thinking bout Penny's feelings of alienation))#Ask to tag

"Stupid weather has me feeling like a fainting Gogoat." They are not handling the change from cool weather to hot weather well.

#✩ in character ✩#✩ open ✩#((My iron deficiency & the heat are not getting along #So I'm taking that out on Penny))

starchanged

What Tarot Card are You?

The Hermit

It’s a skill, to look inside yourself, one you have mastered.

The endless corridors and shifting thoughts are mapped to very carefully. This all takes time, of course. And those twisting hallways are so very difficult to map. It would be so easy to get lost. You know this space so well. Wouldn’t it be a lovely place to stay? So well-known and comforting. Why go back? How nice, how easy, to dissolve, to hide from the rest of the world and all the people in it. Why bother, when you are so good at looking inside yourself. Like enlightenment, the self. Retreating this far inwards is like retreating just as far out, into the vast ether. So comforting. The thing that was you looks at the thing that was the old woman.

There is no you anymore. Goodbye.

#tbt #((hey have I reblogged this recently?#Yes? No? IDK LOOK AT IT AGAIN!!#This is the most fitting Penny Uquiz result #I have ever gotten))

"Do you understand that your momentary distractions from how wrong the world is are only keeping you from making a change?"

Oh by the legends are they really being lectured by some boomer over their video games?

"Duh? That's what they're supposed to be. They're a bit of escapism from constantly having to work on fixing a world ruined by those before us or maybe it's been ruined this entire time, who knows. Either way they're meant as distractions. I could work on fixing the world and making a grand change all the time. But you know where that would get me? Holed up in my dorm cutting myself off from everyone around me and pulling my hair out at the roots as I find myself repeatedly stuck back where I started from. If you only focus on 'making a change' to the world and never take a break, you're going to burn out. Not everyone can just 'pull themselves up by their bootstraps' and work on through a world that's burning around them. So excuse me for needing a bit of a distraction. Shouldn't you be commenting this on your grandkids profile? Or what do they have you blocked?"

#aelirus #✩ in character ✩#✩ asks ✩#((My kids give Cyrus NO breaks #NONE not even the one kid who I think could agree with him most))

"Yeah the world sucks and we're all probably doomed. But I just got a legendary off my daily pull. So peace and love, I guess."

#✩ in character ✩#✩ open ✩#((Penny vc: I can go on living today because the gacha gods were nice))

Penny is a very melancholic person. They have a fairly negative view of the world & tend to be rather pessimistic. Despite this they try to surround themselves with more hopeful people. Because a part of them does realize their outlook isn't healthy, they can't survive off pessimism and bad vibes alone. They want to be hopeful in small ways they are. But more importantly they want to fight for hope. They don't want to succumb to their own depression & ideas that the world isn't worth saving. They don't REALLY believe that. They know good people exist and good things exist and they want to fight for those things even if they feel they can't be one of those good parts of the world.

#mobile #tbt #((Aw hell I'm analyzing Penny that means the muse is stirring))

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