I'd love to see your own version of Alex rejecting the farmer's feelings toward him!
he looked up from his lap where he’d been fiddling with his hands as the two of you enjoyed each other’s company in silence. your body sunk into his comfortable bed.
“i need you tell you something,” you admitted, feeling as though you might throw up at any moment. these weren’t butterflies in your stomach—these were angry wasps.
“shoot,” he urged, assuming it would be something insignificant.
“i like you... like, i have a crush on you,” you confessed quietly, your eyes darting between the floor and his face.
“oh,” he sighed. “of course you do. i guess that’s why you spend so much time with me, huh? that’s why you wanted to befriend me?” he sounded annoyed, uncharacteristic of how he usually spoke to you.
“no, that’s not it. you’re my best friend. i’m sorry,” you clarified desperately, trying to hold back the tears clawing behind your eyes.
“you didn’t think i liked you like that, did you?” he asked. he almost laughed. this wasn’t the alex you knew. the alex you knew was gentle with you, kind, your rock through it all.
a single tear escaped and you quickly wiped it away and shook your head.
“then why are you crying? and why did you feel the need to burden me with your feelings?” he bombarded, his eyes cold.
there was no stopping the tears now. you’d cried in front of alex before, but not because of it. normally, he’d be hugging you and wiping the tears from your cheeks with a supportive smile.
“i’m sorry,” you choked, fighting back sobs. “i’ll go and leave you alone.”
what might have once been a twinge of guilt flashed across his eyes.
you didn’t dare go to town for nearly a week, but eventually you decided a beer and some pizza at the saloon was deserved and required.
you could have gone straight to the saloon and straight home with no interruptions, but of course you had to have glanced up at alex’s house. it was a habit.
under the tree by his house, he sat lazily with his arm around haley, laughing at something she said. he looked happy. it felt like someone had grabbed your heart and pulled it into your intestines.
after a beer or two, you pulled out your phone.
A: then maybe you should have kept your stupid feelings in instead of ruining a great friendship because you wanted to fuck me
F: i like you for you. for your goofy, lopsided smile and the way you laugh when i do something dumb. for the way your hands feel on my back when you hug me after a bad day. how you smell like grass and body spray after gridball practice. for all the conversations we had lying in the grass and staring at the stars. sure, i think you’re attractive, but you’re so much more than that to me. you’re my best friend.
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