but you can skyrocket away from me @starduct - Tumblr Blog

starduct

i am once again thinking about offing myself ex deee

starduct

the way i got this after posting that sjdkdk

#text #the universe really thinks my life is a fucking joke

i am once again thinking about offing myself ex deee

#text #still too scared to #but not nearly as much as before tbh

sybbalb-deactivated20221228

hi. will it ever end

*picks at my face* it’s free [self h*rm] <3

#text

starduct

once again in a constant state of wishing something bad would happen to me

#like it could be so easy #simple lil car accident #unfortunate complications while i’m asleep #://///

what if i just [cut off head hand gesture] a few days after my 21 birthday lol

#it’s better that way haha #text #too volatile too much always #i so genuinely want to be uhhhhhh #not here #hoohoo #not that i have the courage to do literally anything but #heh

[rose quartz voice] who CARES about how i feel,

#text #objectively how i feel here does not matter At All it’s a situation i’m not involved in #but boy do i take so much damage

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Do I still cross your mind?

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last night i had a dream that we were friends again. were you restless when i was dreaming of you?

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this is why i can’t be loved

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just say that you hate me and block me already

uncovered some unfortunate childhood trauma today bc i asked my brother about something that happened to me in middle school hhh very fun very pog as the kids say

#text #i’m… unwell #he told me ‘’well fuck you’’ to me because i wanted to stay where we currently were living w my brothers mom #instead of being [checks notes] homeless #lashed out #got drunk v often even though he literally just got out jail for so many DUIs #and then his apology was sobbing in a car telling me how i was everything to him and he couldn’t lose me #bc my brothers mom was considering taking custody of me #hhhh #it’s the way he was ready to abandon me over one disagreement <3 #and it could happen again #his drinking has gotten so much worse #we’re moving tomorrow and i just really don’t wanna go with him #but i have nowhere else to go

once again in a constant state of wishing something bad would happen to me

#text #had a bunch of tags but lmfao whatever theres nothing else to be said

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happy one year i ruined our entire friendship and i’ve hated myself every day since anniversary ☀️ it’d be a poetic day for this, huh?

#haha #scrolling back through my #old reblogs #and uh #2 days from now is the last time d**** ever spoke to me in person <3

starduct

every time i’ve hit rock bottom i’ve thought, “man, i really don’t think i’ve ever been this miserable” and then it happens again and everything is three times as worse

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PFFT HAHA

#it always gets worse! <3 #text

i kinda just wish something bad would happen to me

#not gonna do anything myself #but Holy Shit i don’t wanna be alive #text #bringing this blog back for the things i can’t say on snapchat haha #don’t wanna be institutionalized 😳😳

the universe is trying to level out all the other seasons so spring isn’t notoriously the ‘Bad One’ in my mind <3

#can't be bad when they're all bad #text

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but you can skyrocket away from me