System blog and diary of sorts because this stuff felt uncomfortable to put on a personal blog not intended for it. Also makes organization easier for things we may need to look back on. URL (& subsequently title to this post) subject to change; a lot of this blog is just placeholder stuff so we can have the space sooner rather than later.
While we will not vent here unless it specifically relates to being a system, we will still likely discuss our trauma here especially if it relates to our systemhood in some way. We will trigger tag as necessary, but please be aware this is by nature a more raw blog. Keep your comforts in mind when interacting.
More info under the cut.
@barnmates goes by Karl and uses it/its pronouns.
Random followers are ok, we just don't want to advertise this blog because it's not something we want to be known for. Just be respectful and you can stay. No syscourse + we still want to be seen as one person despite differentiating ourselves (we do not like the term "plural" used for us often for this reason). Thank you!
Tags are mostly self-explanatory; a lot of them are plain for straight-forward utility. We use (name).txt for differentiating our personal posts, and our emojis for appearances in art.
Common Fronters:
Karl (⭐ - it/its - neu/ masc terms): Main host; will be around a lot. Likely what most people think of when they think of us.
Portmanteau (✨ - it/its - neu/ nonhuman terms): Secondary host, likely during depressive episodes/ times of high stress.
Sho (✂️ - it/tongue - neu/ fem terms): Ex-host & anger holder. Actually good at being social when in front, it fronting is just rarer nowadays.
Boyfriend (🎤 - he/it - masc/neu terms): Social part. I'm going to be real he's just around sometimes that's it. Fairly responsible, at least by our standards.
Kaden (🦗 - he/him - masc terms): Also a social part. Kind of also Just Around but he also tends to come around when we need a distraction/ a break from being serious.
Role descriptions are mostly just for our utility in observing patterns. We don't hold anyone to specific roles, it's just important to us to recognize why they usually are brought to front.
the brain voice Right before yuo are about to go to bed is perfect time to swtich. let new alter take fornt at 2am I cant keep this bit up im too tired to remember the exact format
I do find it really funny that I struggled to admit I might have a dissociative disorder all while struggling with feeling like I only became real the last week of December 2017 and have been struggling to figure out how to be a person ever since. I know I lived before then because, well, we all have to be born, but most of my memories are just facts i know about myself and what ive been through, with a dash of memory snippets and snapshots. And even I probably don't actually remember everything and it sucks knowing I just Don't Remember ages 0-12. Not the way I should.
But lmao I can't possibly have a dissociative disorder, my life hasn't been that bad <- words of a guy with some sort of dissociative disorder.
I'm thinking we might make Boyfriend (not Boyfer)'s signoff "bee.txt" I think that works well enough in keeping things distinct and short. Ultimately the decision will be his when he actually fronts again though.
Thinking about that system map thing. And also the desire we've had to make icons for ourselves For things like that system map thing. Miiight do that before finishing this ref. Maybe!
Started a PluralSpace tonight. We're not totally done, but it's too late & I am too dead-tired to edit any longer. I should have done that instead of Minecraft but ............ I am this way because I am. <3
Started a PluralSpace tonight. We're not totally done, but it's too late & I am too dead-tired to edit any longer. I should have done that instead of Minecraft but ............ I am this way because I am. <3