Dan felt his stomach drop when he saw his best friend kissing her. He thought that what they had was special, unique and intimate. But he was sadly wrong. Pain could be seen in his eyes as tears started to roll down his red cheeks. He didn’t want anyone to see his heart falling apart so he decided to run away. Before he could get outside, he turned around to see one last time that scene. It was real. It wasn’t a dream. His footsteps were really loud, anger was taking control of his emotionless body. Why was he angry anyways? He didn’t have the right to be. After all, Phil was just a friend. Dan never told him about the things he felt because it would ruin it all. So, why?
Confused. That’s how he felt. He was running away from the pain but… where? He couldn’t go home. Home… what a word. It was the place that made you feel comfortable, loved, so many kind of things. But for Dan, his home was now toxic.
It was 4 in the morning, the streets were empty and quiet. Screams were now the music of the city. All those feelings, all the pain, all those years were now being released. The cold air led him to the park. He sat on the grass and looked up, the stars were shining more than ever it was beautiful. His heart was racing every time he remembered the kiss. He wanted to be her, he wanted to be the one kissing those pink lips. They looked so soft and sweet. Why couldn’t Phil just love him instead of her? He fell asleep.
The birds didn’t sing that morning. It was all sad. He opened his eyes painfully. They were dry. His back hurt, his stomach hurt, his heart hurt. When the memories came back all he wanted was to die. He now had to go back to his house. Luckily it wasn’t that far, so he walked while thinking what the hell was he going to say when Phil asked him where he had been. “Oh! I was really drunk and well I don’t remember” or “I was looking for you all night, you idiot!”. He couldn’t come up with an excuse. He didn’t have the time to think one, her body was already in front of the door. Did he needed to talk to Phil? Did he wanted to hear his best friend shouting at him for half an hour? Was he prepared? Was it worth it? He wasn’t sure. His hand was on the. His mind was an anxious mess. Legs shaking, tears starting to fall, heavy breathing. He was inside.
The stairs looked so long. He started to feel dizzy. He could imagine the face of true disappointment that was going to look at him as soon as he opened the door. One more step. He stayed silent for a few minutes before knocking on the door. That’s it. There was no going back. Loud and fast footsteps could be heard from the inside. The door opened so quickly that he needed a moment to recover from the shock. His thoughts were screaming on the back of his mind. They were like a whole stadium shouting at Dan. And he couldn’t tell them to shut the hell up. Why couldn’t he be fine?
Two light blue eyes penetrated two light brown ones. It was magic, perfect, beautiful… but it also was tense, painful, sad, and angry. The two bodies didn’t move for like five minutes.
Phil pushed the door back and hugged Dan. Nothing mattered now. Who cared about the kiss? Who cared about Dan going missing? Who cared? Nobody. This was their moment. The left shoulder of the brown-eyed boy started to get wet and sobs were the only sound in the whole flat. Blue eyes stepped back. He had thousands of questions right now and he was going to ask them… but not now.
The pair went inside and sat on the couch. Dan knew the questions that were coming but he already thought what he was going to say… and that was the truth.
- W-where were you, Dan? – Phil’s voice cracked. He didn’t know why he was crying so much. His best friend just went missing a couple of hours. He didn’t die. But they had a really strong bond, so he wasn’t just another best friend. Phil looked Dan right in the eyes looking for something, a reaction, a movement, anything.
- I… I just wanted some fresh air and I got lost – Dan couldn’t believe himself. That was the most stupid excuse he could’ve ever said. I mean… seriously, the drunk one was better. He wanted to slap himself. He looked down breaking the connection of blue and brown. Phil didn’t buy it and Dan lying was making him angry.
- Dan, I know when you’re lying. We’re best friends! You know you can trust me! Now tell me where were you and why did you leave. – Those words were like bullets for brown eyes. They started hitting him right on his heart. Hearing the two words sentence from him made Dan want to die. He had enough, he needed to tell the truth.
- I was in the fucking park crying because of you, idiot! – Silence. Uncomfortable silence. Although the silence was necessary to chill the place it was annoying. Phil couldn’t speak, the words were just a thought. So Dan proceeded. – Because I love you, Phil! And I couldn’t see you kissing that girl at the party! It was painful, you know? It has been for the past seven years! And you didn’t notice… but now it’s too late because we’re just best friends, right? – tears were falling to the ground. Dan was about to storm out of that stupid house that was once his home when Phil’s hand grabbed him by the arm. Their bodies were together now. Eyes locked again. Heavy breathing. Fast heartbeats. Anger, sadness, fear, despair, need, love. They were each other’s soulmates. They realized that now.
Phil leaned in closer. Their noses were touching. They could feel each other’s warm breath.
- I love you too, Dan – their lips finally touched. Warm, soft, sweet just they imagined. You would think that’s the end, but there was still a question to be asked. Why?
- Then… why were you kissing that girl? – Phil laughed softly. Dan didn’t find it funny – What is so hilarious about this? – there was no reason to be laughing.
- You silly – Phil said – I wanted to make you jealous! – What?! Dan couldn’t believe it. All of this for that?! Who the hell cared right now? His dreams were now real. He was the one kissing those pink lips. Phil loved him all this time.
Dan felt his stomach twist with excitement when he saw his boyfriend kneeling in front of him. He thought that this was another joke. But he was fortunately wrong. Happiness could be seen in his eyes as tears started to roll down his red cheeks. He didn’t know what to do at this moment so he decided to remain silence. He didn’t understand what was happening, so he saw that scene one last time. It was real. It wasn’t a dream. His heartbeats were really loud, anxiety was taking control of his whole body. Why would Phil think Dan was going to say no? He has waited this moment for years. After all, Phil was his soulmate. Dan was so happy that day, birds sang and the sun shone brighter than ever. He said yes.
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