Harold got real drunk one night, Ubered home, and snuck in bed beside his wife…
He woke up at the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,"You died in your sleep Harold."
Harold was stunned. "I died? That can’t be right! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!”
"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as by being reincarnated as a chicken."
Harold wasn’t thrilled, but begged St Peter to send him to a farm near his house. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strutted past."So you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"
"Not bad,"replied Harold the Hen, but I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm going to explode."
"That‘s an egg, explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
"Never," said Harold.
"Well, just relax and let it happen," said the rooster" It's not a big deal."
Harold did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Harold was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg – his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell... "HAROLD WAKE UP. YOU SHIT THE BED!"
I thought the rooster was going to have sex with him.