DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
Claire Keane
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we're not kids anymore.
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taylor price
YOU ARE THE REASON
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shark vs the universe
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@starker-slut
Gods the urge to reblog Irondad shit as Starker is strong this week, its actually killing me so many of these are so perfect but I don't wanna get blocked or have antis at my throat
Its not even like in a "these are BETTER as Starker than irondad" kinda way too, they're just so cute and fluffy can we just coexist please 😭😭
Tony Stark and Peter Parker broke up years ago after a messy mix of secrets, pressure, and Tony’s fear of dragging Peter into the dangerous life of an Avenger. When their adopted twins were only toddlers, the two made the painful decision to split custody — but circumstances pushed them into raising the kids separately.
Tony kept Morgan Stark, raising her in Malibu surrounded by tech, sarcasm, and Stark Industries chaos. She grows up brilliant, confident, and a little dramatic—just like Tony.
Peter kept Benjamin Stark in Queens, raising him with warmth, responsibility, and a strong moral compass. Ben grows up curious, empathetic, and suspiciously good with tech—definitely Tony’s influence, even from afar.
Neither twin knows the truth: they have a twin sibling and two fathers who used to be deeply in love.
At age 14, Ben and Morgan both end up at the same advanced STEM summer program. They meet, immediately clash, and slowly realize they look exactly alike. After comparing stories, timelines, and photos, the shocking truth comes out: they’re twins.
Instead of telling their parents immediately, they hatch a plan worthy of Stark-level chaos.
They switch places.
Morgan goes to Queens to meet the quiet, awkward genius who raised Ben—Peter Parker, the dad who still keeps an old Stark hoodie hidden in his closet.
Ben goes to Malibu to meet the billionaire Avenger Tony Stark, who pretends he’s over Peter but still hasn’t deleted their old photos.
The twins’ goal?
Parent Trap their stubborn fathers back together.
But the plan becomes complicated when:
Tony quickly realizes “Morgan” suddenly asks way too many questions about Spider-Man.
Peter notices “Ben” has Stark-level sass and starts hacking appliances.
Old feelings between Tony and Peter start resurfacing.
The twins accidentally expose long-buried heartbreak from the breakup.
And the biggest question becomes:
Can two genius teenagers fix what two emotionally constipated superheroes broke?
Peter: Wow Mr Stark, that’s really embarrassing.
Tony: You run 2 fan blogs about me so you don’t get to talk.
I can just picture Peter blushing as Tony is walking away thinking about his not very well hidden Iron Man fanboy blog where he gushes about how cool his favorite super hero is. Then a few seconds later Tony hears a gasp behind him and the glass that was in Peter’s hand falls to the floor and shatters as Peter realizes Tony said “2″. This means Tony also knows about his **super-sekrit** Tony Stark thirst blog where he posts all of his dirtiest fantasies.
ahsgsksgskdgsh YES I NEED THIS
ok BUT. hear me out here.
what if peter has THREE (3) iron man fan accounts.
the first one started way before he ever met tony, before he became spider-man even. it’s a twitter fan account that has gained tens of thousands of followers along the years thats actually more of a Tony Stark Defense Squad account than a fan account. he doesn’t actually fanboy over tony/iron man on this account, this one is used more to respond to tony’s critics and haters. half of the time it’s with eloquent thinkpieces on why tony stark is, in fact, a good person and the other half of the time it’s with sarcastic comments and memes calling the hater a bumbling idiot.
the second is his actual fan account, the one where he geeks out over any awesome new tech tony designs, rambles about iron man’s superheroics, makes random rankings of his favorite iron man suits. he made this one before becoming spider-man, too, and had gained a few hundred followers, but when he got bit by the spider and started out as a vigilante, he slowly abandoned the account because he was just too busy. that is, until he walked into his apartment one day to see tony stark sitting on his sofa. after that day, and after germany, after fighting alongside him, well. the flame of his hero worship was re-ignited like the sun, and so of course he went back to the account he used as an outlet for all his thoughs and feelings and opinions about how great tony stark is.
the third account, though. this was his most shameful, the most secretive of them all. it’s a complete nsfw thirst blog on tumblr. there are no defensive thinkpieces or light-hearted musings of his tech here, oh, no. this is where he reblogs all of the hottest photos of tony ever taken, writing complete filth in the tags. this is where he goes for all the sinful, dirty ‘tony x reader’ fanfiction he is so, so embarrassed about reading (but not embarrassed enough that he doesn’t still get off to it.) this is even the place he finds those amazing download links to every hidden, should-be-permanently-deleted leaked sex tape video tony has ever made.
if all of that wasn’t bad enough, he doesn’t even have the excuse of making this account before meeting tony, either. this account was not born out of simple hero worship or celebrity crush, but was created after peter had gotten to really know tony stark. he now knew tony as a person, not as a hero to be put on a pedastal. but peter unfortunately found the old adage of “never meet your heroes, they’re sure to disappoint you” to be painfully untrue, as he only grew to love tony more after learning about him.
all that love came with lust, though, which is what led peter, desperate to find a release for his more inappropriate feelings, to make the thirst blog.
luckily, even before he had a secret identity to protect, peter had always been wary about strangers on the internet, and had therefore never posted any personal information onto any of his accounts, even before spider-man. there were no selfies, no mentions of being from queens, no posts about his personal life, not even his full name could be found. so, he figured his three little secrets were safe. he thought tony would always certainly have better things to do than to try and figure out who StarkHasAHeart, his biggest account, is, much less his other two with less than a thousand followers each.
which is why tony’s, “you run two fan blogs about me, so you don’t get to talk.” shocks him to his core.
his eyes widen, his jaw actually drops open, and his entire face blooms red. tony just laughs, though not unkindly, and pats him on the shoulder. “what, you thought i didn’t know? it’s ok, kid. you say some pretty sweet stuff on them. i’m flattered, truly. even thought about making a spider-man defense account to repay the favor when jameson started up on his bullshit, at least until i remembered i’m me, and that i could just have him fired for slander.” peter remains speechless, though, and his blush has spread all the way down his neck, under his shirt. tony pushes away the intrusive little thought of, ‘how far down does that pretty red go’ and instead says, “really, pete. it’s fine. having a hot young guy ‘hype me up’ online is not the end of the world for me.”
that finally gets a reaction out of peter, only a quick huff of a laugh at the use of the phrase “hype me up”, taught to him by peter himself. but now, peter is currently stuck on a different phrase. the words, “hot young guy” float around his head in big, bright, boldfaced text. and he blames it on that, the fact that he’s too distracted to be thinking clearly, for what he says next.
“yea, okay. it’s fine. it’s cool. and you only found two, which is great, so it’s fine, it’ll be fine.”
he doesn’t even realize his mistake, the secret he accidentally rambled out as an anxious response until tony says, “…..what do you mean, ‘only two’?”
reposting this with my tags bc it’s october and i can’t get the idea of peter surprising tony by wearing the stark expo iron cheerleader costume out of my head
oh shit yall remember this one?
by focusonme04187
Steve goes to Peter to tell him about how they really need Tony to invents some kind of teleportation method like portals connecting to places or something similar
And Tony told him he could do it but Steve knows he hasn’t been working on it but the time is pressing and maybe Peter could bring it up and persuade him to invents it soon?
Peter nods sagely and says no problem and then he goes to Tony and casually drops “I’ve been thinking… do you think it would be possible to find a way to make like a little portal that connects my ass to your dick so it would be possible for you to fuck me even when we’re not in the same room or maybe even country? Or like is that not something you’d be interested in? Because I think it could be hot…”
And it’s not even three hours later that Tony has a reliable way of portaling between multiple spaces
i'll never shut up about the scene in infinity war. His spidey senses working and it's not just the spacedship danger it sensed but also sensed Tony in danger so Peter swings all the way to save Tony. this is the starker is canon moment for me !!
Peter when someone brings up Tony's past as a playboy:
Tony is his now and that's it.
~ mystisophia 🍒
Tony and Peter having sex
A Little Privacy For @starkerfestivals Mer-May : card below the cut
"Tony!" Peter whines, struggling to keep up with his boyfriend and his bigger tail. "Are we almost there?"
"Yeah, starfish, we are," Tony chuckles, slowing down to take Peter's hand.
"Where are we goin' anyway?" Peter pouts. "If your dad catches you out with me again-"
"Don't worry about it. Here, see for yourself," Tony grins, dragging him up towards the surface.
Peter gasps as they surface in a tiny cove. It's beautiful and secluded, and the sunlight hits the droplets on Tony's skin, making them look like gems. No one would find them here for ages. "Oh, Tones, it's beautiful!"
"Yeah, you like it?" he grins, wrapping his arms around Peter from behind and flicking his tail to keep them both afloat. He nips at Peter's neck, making him shiver. "Thought we could use a little privacy."
"Oh," he moans softly, tail swishing wildly with excitement. "Really? Are we finally gonna-"
"Yeah, starfish," Tony chuckles, twirling him around for a passionate kiss. "You're gonna be stuck with me forever now."
*obnoxious slurping noises emanating from a trashcan* anywho
Perfect Peter Parker- a fic with @starkercreamery cover by @starkercreamery
Chapter 1 Now Posted!
Tony Stark is the popular, bad boy, billionaire heartthrob. Peter Parker is the prim and proper student body president. But when Tony finds out that perfect princess Peter Parker is hiding a secret, he capitalizes on it to ensure he won't make his life miserable at school anymore and get one of the best fucks of his life. But when one fuck isn't enough, Tony gets brazen and offers more- and really, it's an offer Peter can't refuse. Except there's one tiny problem. How do you pretend that you're not in love?
You can read Chapter 1 [here] or from the beginning [here]
starker in the wizarding world.
I'd love to see them in a universe where they're wizards.
My setting: Tony is a professor at Hogwarts, and Peter is a student at Gryffindor.
Peter got drunk again. 🤭
I just registered an account. Can I post content related to "tnpt" here?
"You can't find underage peter x older male hot! Thats disgusting! What if they take advantage of Peter?"
Yes I can, wanna know why? Because....
I. DON'T. CARE.
AND ALSO, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WILL WRITE THEM AS A SADISTIC, APATHETIC, PSYCOPATH AND NOT A MORALLY GREY CHARACTER?
And FYI, the behavior of those said characters all comes down to ME, not you, ME. So. I can literally make them full on down bad (respectfully) for underage Peter, and I would fucking devour that shit like a fucking blackhole until I look like I was drawn by a obesity-fetish artist.
