StarKiller

he/they - omnist transman who chose living

[starkillerblast]

sometimes u have to take a step back. like i woke up, opened instagram and watched somebody die. i wake up every morning on a tiny screen and desperately try to connect with the world.

[starkillerblast]

Radfems are priviledged

My recent posts havent gone down well and many people seem to hate my opinions, so lets continue! Here are some just vile and disgusting opinions of mine, according to some of you. Trans rights are human rights. Trans people have a right to use the bathroom. Trans people deserve access to hormones and healthcare. Trans people shouldn’t be publicly outed and harassed. Trans people deserve respect. Trans people deserve to be recognised for who they are. Terfs, Radfems, there are bigger problems in the world than trans individuals. Women in the middle east are losing their rights daily, femicides, people losing their right to an abortion. The conservative media wants you to focus on trans people and blame them, under the disguise of protecting women and children and so many of you are falling for it. Why don’t you research what is actually going on beneath all of that? Do you realise how privileged you have to be to sit at your computer and insult and disregard trans people under the excuse of feminism?

[starkillerblast]

intentions

I want to make my intentions clear. For many years I have stayed away from the news, from politics and from most social media. I only now have felt mentally stable enough to start voicing my opinion again and fighting for what I believe in. I have been seeing a lot more radfem content which I believe is reactionary, specifically to the trans rights movement. I’ll see a radfem post on tiktok with disguised terf ideologies daily. Most people wouldn’t bat an eyelid, unable to see that people are using feminism as a muse to hate on the trans community. I wish that my entire existence wasnt political, but that is what has turned into. I don’t believe that radfems/terfs actually care about women, if they did then they wouldn’t dare use it to target a minority. I ask radfems and terfs to look into the actual facts such as brain scans of trans people matching the identity they align with (https://tinyurl.com/yc6zcu9r) and that trans women actually lose bone density when taking oestrogen, leaving them at a disadvantage in sports (https://tinyurl.com/mum2v2xw) There are many more examples but many people simply cannot be bothered and instead choose to generalise and discriminate against trans people. I guarantee that if I were to make a post discussing the issues and discrimination surrounding transmen, I’d be met with little to no backlash from terfs. Transmisogyny needs to end.

[starkillerblast]

dear radfems pt2

Following my most recent and seemingly controversial post, I wanted to break some things down and expand on some things I’d said. A few people were angry when I said that femininity and womanhood was a performance, but it is! No one is feminine by nature, it is simply roles we have assigned people. Terf ideologies harm cis women, no matter how much you decide to dismiss it. I have seen a recent article in which a young girl had been harassed by a grown man as he thought she was transgender, when she was just an androgynous looking girl. She was inconsolable and humiliated, and this can be linked back . to terf ideologies. You say you want to protect women’s spaces but are actively harming them due to all the hatred and stigma around being transgender and not looking a certain way. It is obvious that “protecting women’s spaces and children” is really just a cover to hide your true intentions of removing and harming trans people. Listen to the mothers of trans children who have lost their babies to this ideology. They are cis women just like you, but you dismiss them because they dont suit your narratives. They beg society to be more accepting, but we are just going backwards. You dismiss cis women who have been attacked in bathrooms due to people thinking they are transgender. You dismiss androgynous women who have been attacked for the same reason. You are making women need to fit into a category of “looking like a woman” and therefore you are upholding gender roles and the patriarchy. If you were to uplift and accept transwomen, you’d find that it would result in a much greater and peaceful world where people can express themselves however they like without fear of being attacked or killed. Where people could be true to themselves without being terrified each time they leave the house. Terfs, trans people are terrified of you. By having these ideologies, you side with the bigots, the ones attempting to take our rights away every second of the day. You can’t afford to be naive and believe that by excluding trans people, that your feminism will benefit women. There is clear evidence that shows you that it doesn’t. What is so horrific to you about trans people existing? A few people stated that trans people should get their own space, so you want us to be forced to identify ourselves when all we want is to be able to pass and live in society among everybody else, to live a normal life? What space would that be exactly? How would you implement that? We just want to use the bathroom, to exist freely. If a man wanted to commit sexual violence, he’s not going to dress up as a woman to do so, to come out to his entire family as transgender, to be ostracised by society. If a man wants to commit such a vile act, he is going to do so anyway. The problem is men, not our trans sisters. I beg you read this post clearly as many of you didn’t last time.

[starkillerblast]

dear radfems

I find it very sad that so many radfems proudly dislike our trans sisters. Even other members of the LGBTQ+ community want to remove us. Do you believe you’re “one of the good ones”? Why are you so desperate for the bigots’ approval? Who do you think they’d go after next? People are more divided than ever about whether I deserve to exist or not. Radfems preach about wanting equality and freedom for women, so why exclude trans women? They argue that femininity and womanhood is not a performance, then what else is it? We know gender is a social construct, so why exclude trans women from it? Trans people have been trying to make cis people comfortable for decades, not too loud and not too quiet. You can only take so much from us before we get louder. How can you claim to be a feminist when you are so insecure of your womanhood? Is it so hard for you to comprehend that genitals don’t determine somebody’s experiences and gender expression? You gladly accept the label of being a terf, almost thrilled that your beliefs involve disregarding a minority of people. Not only do terf beliefs harm trans women, but also cis women. Cis women who don’t conform to gender roles are now being attacked or targeted because people believe they may be transgender. You are now enforcing gender roles you claim you fight so hard against. Why must someone look or behave a certain way just because of what they have in their pants? I urge you to stop dehumanising trans people and to try listening to trans stories, the parents of trans children, and to develop empathy for your fellow human beings.

[starkillerblast]

higher self

One day you will wake up to a great energy shift, the grass will be greener and the sun will shine brighter than usual. Many people live their lives constantly wanting something while forgetting what they already have but what is wrong with being content? It's important for us to be grateful for what we have, whether it's a roof over your head or food on the table everyday. Social media encourages us to always want to have something, well I encourage you to look deep within yourself and wake up each day thinking ‘what can I improve today?’ Think about how you want to better yourself rather than what new trend you wish to participate in next. Maybe you want to eat more nutritional food, cut out a habit like smoking or something about your character like anger. It's up to you to focus your mind each day to achieve this, this is what will connect you to your higher self more than yearning to be like everybody else.

[starkillerblast]

Grandmothers

I cried at your funeral, of course I did. I was only a child, I couldn’t understand why it was your time to go. I was unable to comprehend just how much I’d miss you. I gripped my mother’s arm tightly as I sobbed into her black cardigan. There were two teacups on top of your coffin, representing me and my brother, just as you’d requested. My father made sure that you didn’t die alone, he stayed with you in that hospital. You chose to die as he took a shower. You waited for him to turn his back before you took your last breath. He was your son and you loved him dearly, he knew that. I think we tend to forget that our fathers yearn for their mothers. They will always be that little boy who’d come home from school and greet their mother with a big frown and a scraped knee. He cried for you then, and I know that when he is alone he still cries for you now. You were brave and spared your son from seeing you pass, thank you. I wish for your eternal peace and comfort.

[starkillerblast]

I used to live out of spite, but now I live for those who never got the chance. I never really noticed that I had to decide to live, it never really felt like a choice. But it was. It was a choice, there is always a right one and a wrong one. To live is to do right for everyone who couldn’t but most importantly yourself. I was a rotten teenager, allowing myself to decay into the earth. Why should I care about anything? I’d ask myself. But why shouldn’t I care about anything? To exist is to love and be loved. 

And even as the roots would entangle around my body and the fungi would rupture through my flesh, I could still look up at the sun creeping through the tree canopies. The intense glow may have blinded me then, but now that light guides my hereafter.

[starkillerblast]

Boyhood

I am a transman. I was born female but transitioned when I was 15. Throughout my life, I’d never once felt like a girl. There were feminine things I enjoyed of course, like Monster High dolls and making daisy chains. I’d never thought about gender as a child, I simply ignored it entirely. I liked the things I liked and not once did I ever think about the ‘gender’ of the product. When I transitioned, it felt like an entire new world had opened up for me. I’d finally figured out what was wrong with me and knew I could fix it. I was born in a river but I didn’t have to drown in it, I can float gracefully through life. 

Many people debate my existence, describing gender dysphoria as some kind of mental disorder, that hormones are “poison” and gender affirming surgeries are “mutilation”. To those people I ask, what other options do you have for us? What do you expect us to do? You love to bring up science and biology when it suits you, yet lack the knowledge that it is actually on our side. The fact is, getting access to hormones and gender affirming surgeries saves trans lives, what about that is so horrific to you? Which part of that affects you so deeply? Human to human, we are trying to tell you that our lives are in danger. You believed everyone else, why not us? Just how many more trans lives need to be taken for you to see the consequences of your prejudice? 

I believe the universe made me who I am for a reason, and I am just as flawed and imperfect as you. Despite our differences, we are just as beautiful as each other. We are all made out of the same stardust, connected to our first creation.