kaykay @starlight-night0 - Tumblr Blog

Hi I'm Kaykay (or just Kay) I'm 22 ~ Sagittarius, ENFJ

Music speaks to me, so I listen to music basically every time I can

I like to read a lot, I enjoy reading fanfics at night (that's why I put the "night" in my username) so I'll be reblogging those that I feel like a lot of people should read. I mostly read kpop fics, so there's that

I try to spread only nice thoughts and positive energy so let's try to keep that way pls

I listen music basically all day long, here's my spotify

Enjoy and welcome

#starlight recs ✨️#it's me #fic recs

gyuberry-strawberry

Come be the man I need

Prompts: You’re new boss is your ex from college + “Did you mean what you said last night?”

Summary: She thought breaking his heart would hurt less than watching distance do it for them. Years later, ___ starts her first job at Choi Enterprise, only to discover that her new CEO is none other than her ex-boyfriend, Choi Seungcheol, the man she never stopped loving. Turns out, some goodbyes were never meant to be forever.

Genre: Office Au, workplace Au, lovers to exes to lovers, friends to lovers (backstory), fluff, smut, angst with Happy ending, slice of life,

Warnings: Smut, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral (fem. receiving), fingering, angst, miscommunication, my horrible attempt in humour,

Wc: 5.8k

Pairings: boss!seungcheol x employee!reader

A/N: Hello, everyone! This is my first time writing and posting anything here, and I'm so happy and excited to finally share my work with you all. This fic is part of @studiosvt A Midsummer Carat's Dream event for their second anniversary. Happy 2nd anniversary to the entire StudioSVT team! They're doing an amazing job bringing writers together through such wonderful collaborations. And the biggest thank you to @jakedustry for helping me throughout the entire writing process. You beta-read my work, helped me brainstorm, and even shared so many helpful tips. What more could a new writer ask for? A BIG SMOOCH TO IZZY. LOVE YOUUU!!!!! 🍓🤏

starlight-night0

Why did I want him to be mean? 😪

Choi Seungcheol the man you are in every universe ❤️

#seventeen x reader #seungcheol x reader #seventeen smut #seungcheol smut #seventeen fluff #seungcheol fluff #seventeen angst #seungcheol angst #seventeen fanfic

yoongiofmine

Peeling Mandarins | KTH | One Shot

[Main Masterlist] [Membership]

Pair: BestFriend!Taehyung x f!reader

Summary: Your bi-weekly movie nights with Taehyung had always been the safest part of your life, until the night a forgotten promise dragged you both to a housewarming party instead. What should have been just another evening between best friends slowly unravels when a single mandarin and one honest confession shift the air between you. After so many years of pretending nothing has changed, one night might be all it takes to finally peel back the layers.

Genre: Non idol au, smut with some plot, best friends to lovers.

Warnings: Taehyung has a praise kink and he’s so in love. This story came to me in a dream, so if it's a little crazy, just go with it!

WC: 13k

You were never the type of person to change plans on such short notice, especially not when it came to your hang outs with Taehyung. When both of your grown up jobs and separate social circles kept you busy and apart, your bi-weekly meet-ups were precious for the both of you.

But you just could not escape tonight.

Tae had been your best friend for longer than you could remember, starting somewhere when you were both still in high school and he made fun of your fruit-shaped erasers. Back then he hadn’t been as careful with his words and his comment about your tangerine-looking school supply had embarrassed you, and you replaced the orange thing with a regular, boring blue and red eraser that smelled of nothing but rubber.

coupsalchemy

Falling for you | Masterlist

summary: Seungcheol and you are bound in a nameless pact, existing only in confined walls of your apartment. The secret visits cease when either of you falls for someone else. Your confidence in this arrangement is put to a test as your crush, friends, and feelings get involved.

genre: Seungcheol xf.reader, friends with benefits au, smut, romance, fluff, angst, found family au.

prompt: As friends (even with benefits) they told each other if there was someone in their life they were crushing on. But the reactions to it changed over time. (@/creativepromptsforwriting)

warnings: appropriate warnings are added to the chapters, swearing, daddy kink, smut, mentions of bullying, in general life stuff, reader is diabetic.

playlist: fallingforyou by the1975, moth to a flame by theweeknd, swedish house mafia, hey jude by the beatles

#tbr

slut4kwon

the bare minimum — k.mg

pairing: kim mingyu x fem! reader

synopsis: your dating history had been nothing but bad sex and even worse goodbyes. he showed you a patience and certainty that silenced every doubt, proving that you weren’t hard to love; you’d been loved by him all along.

wc: 10.5k

warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content | oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, dom!mingyu, sub!reader, soft power play, heavy praise kink, multiple orgasms | best friends to lovers, swearing, fluff, aftercare.

authors note: i’ve been wanting to post a mingyu fic for ages now, and as i was going through some of my older fics, this one gave me insane mingyu energy and i had no other choice but to rewrite it for him! this is a rewrite of my fic ‘tears’, and yes, the plot is based on the sabrina carpenter song! i hope that you all enjoy this as much as i do, and as always, please feel free to let me know what you think! ♡

808luvrr

One Week Left

pairing - non idol ! seungcheol x f.reader [fluff/angst]

summary → you and seungcheol became best friends freshman year of college, drifting into something softer and unspoken by junior year when you became roommates. now, after graduating, he has one week left before enlistment— a countdown tied to his future at his father’s company and the life waiting for him after completing service. but between a simple haircut in your shared bathroom and the weight of leaving, everything he’s kept buried finally spills out, because what he’s really afraid of isn’t enlistment… it’s leaving the person he’s been secretly in love with for years

word count - 3.7k

warnings! → friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, mutual pining, love confession, yearning, seungcheol being devastatingly in love, military enlistment mention, pre-enlistment emotions, kissing/making out- no smut, years of repressed feelings, bathroom confession scene, soft/domestic intimacy, suggestive ending, happy ending, two idiots finally communicating, *additional parts will probably be written

The bathroom smelled like vanilla, clean laundry, and Seungcheol’s cologne. The one he always wore without thinking. That warm, slightly spicy scent that clung to his hoodies and lingered in the apartment long after he’d walked out of a room.

It mixed with the softness of vanilla melting through the air in slow, comforting waves, trying to wrap the moment in something gentler than what it really was.

Clean laundry hung nearby from the rack beside the shower, still faintly warm from the dryer, fabric softener folding itself into the air every time you moved. It made the space feel lived in, like any other night, like nothing was about to change.

Like he wasn’t leaving in a week.

You’d lit the candle earlier to keep things feeling normal. Because to you, this wasn’t goodbye.

Not really.

It was just something difficult he had to get through before coming back home again.

But sitting in front of the mirror while strands of dark hair fell steadily around him, Seungcheol felt every inch of this moment settling into his chest with terrifying finality.

The low buzz of the clippers sounded too loud in the small bathroom. Every pass against his scalp stripped away another piece of familiarity, and with each lock of hair hitting the tile floor, the reality became harder to ignore.

One week.

One week before he left behind the apartment that had become more his home than any place ever had before.

One week before leaving you.

Meanwhile, you stayed focused carefully behind him. Occasionally brushing loose strands from his shoulders and chatting softly about completely ordinary things. The grocery list for tomorrow, your cafe manager finally fixing the broken espresso machine, and which of your friends would inevitably cry the most dramatically at the enlistment send off.

Like this was temporary. Like the two of you would naturally fall back into this exact rhythm again once he returned.

And maybe that should’ve comforted him. Instead, it only made the ache in his chest worse.

You swallowed around the lump in your throat and focused on the careful motion of your wrist.

One more pass.

The clippers hummed over the back of his head, leaving behind soft dark stubble. You stepped back slightly, examining your work before flicking the power off. Silence settled heavily between you.

“There,” you said quietly.

You brushed the loose hair from his neck before running your palm gently over the freshly shaved skin. The texture made your chest ache unexpectedly.

“All done.” A small smile tugged at your lips as you leaned down into his line of sight through the mirror. “Wow. Okay, it definitely looks weird.”

His brows lifted faintly.

“Not bad weird,” you corrected quickly, laughing softly. “Just.. you’ve never had your hair this short before.” Your fingers rubbed over the top of his head again playfully. “You actually look really cute.”

You moved around the stool until you stood between his knees, his legs naturally parting to make room for you in the cramped bathroom. Your hands stayed on his head, thumbs brushing along his temples while you grinned down at him.

It was the smile that always ruined him.

The one that crinkled your eyes slightly. That he’d watched across lecture halls and grocery aisles and lazy Sunday mornings in your shared apartment kitchen. The one that had slowly, disastrously made him fall in love with you years ago.

But instead of smiling back, his expression only seemed to sink further.

Your own smile faltered.

“Cheol?”

He looked away. His gaze dropped to the floor instead, landing on the ridiculous fuzzy green house slippers covering your feet.

The pair he bought you two winters ago after you’d spent twenty minutes dramatically mourning them in the middle of a department store because you couldn’t afford “unnecessary purchases” until your next paycheck from the café.

You’d worn them nearly every day since.

“Seungcheol,” you said again, softer this time, but still nothing.

You reached down, fingers curling around his chin until you gently tilted his face back toward you.

“Earth to Cheol?”

He swallowed hard, his eyes still locked downwards.

“I don’t want to go.”

The words came out rough, and your chest tightened immediately.

“I know,” you said carefully. “It’s not exactly an easy thing.”

You tried to give a reassuring smile again, thumb brushing along his cheek.

“But you’ll be back before you know it. And then you’ll start at your dad’s company and everything’ll work out.” You shrugged lightly. “Unless you can convince your dad to rearrange the plan somehow?”

He shook his head once.

“That’s not it.”

“Then what?”

His eyes finally met yours fully, and it nearly undid him.

Because you were looking at him the same way you always did. Soft, patient, worried for him before yourself. Standing between his knees in those stupid fuzzy green slippers, your fingers still warm against his skin from where you’d rubbed over his freshly shaved head, completely unaware you were holding his entire heart in your hands.

God. How was he supposed to leave this?

How was he supposed to pack up two years of shared mornings, late night convenience store runs and you humming in the kitchen while making coffee half asleep and just, walk away from it? From you?

His chest tightened painfully. All he could think about was time.

A week from now, he’d be gone, and life would keep moving without him.

You’d still go to the café on weekends. Burn pancakes every Sunday morning because you refuse to turn the heat down, and still laugh so hard at dumb movies you’d snort without realizing it.

But eventually, someone else might be there to see it. Someone else might start memorizing the little things about you the way he had.

Someone else might carry your grocery bags, and sit in his spot beside you at bars. Walk home with you at night, or hear you call their name from another room instead of his.

The thought made him feel sick.

Because Seungcheol had spent years pretending what existed between you was enough. Pretending friendship didn’t already feel dangerously close to love. Pretending he could survive watching you belong to somebody else someday.

But now there was an expiration date looming over him, and suddenly every second with you felt fragile. Temporary.

His throat tightened before speaking again.

“I don’t want to leave you.”

The words came out quieter than he intended. Not because he was unsure, but because saying them out loud made everything terrifyingly real.

Your heart stumbled at the words, a sharp, disorienting skip you immediately tried to dismiss. No, that wasn’t what he meant. It couldn’t be.

You latched onto the thought almost instinctively, like a reflex. Like you’d done a hundred times before whenever something about him felt like it tipped too close to something you weren’t supposed to look at too long.

He’s Seungcheol. Your best friend. Your roommate. The person who had been woven into the shape of your days for four years until it didn’t even feel like separate lives anymore.

That’s all this was. It had to be.

So you laughed softly anyways, a little too quick, a little too light, as if you could smooth the moment over before it had time to turn into anything else in your mind.

“You’re such a baby,” you teased gently. “I’ll still be here when you get out.” You squeezed his shoulders. “Plus, you’ll get leave sometimes, right? We’ll still hang out.”

He shook his head again, sharper this time.

Before you could say anything else, his hands suddenly wrapped around your wrists, stopping your movements against his shoulders. Slowly, he slid his hands down until his fingers intertwined with yours. And when he spoke again, his voice had changed completely.

Serious. Low. Almost trembling.

“I don’t want to leave you,” He repeated, his tone vulnerable and bare.

The air shifted. Your smile faded entirely now.

“Cheol..”

“I don’t want to leave and come back and..” He exhaled shakily, eyes squeezing shut for a second before reopening. “Be replaced.”

Confusion flickered across your face.

“Replaced? Seungcheol, what are you talking about? You’ll always—”

“I don’t want another guy taking my place in your life.”

The words hit you so hard you went completely still. For a second, your brain genuinely couldn’t process them. Not because you didn’t understand what he was saying, but because some terrified hidden part of you had spent years convincing yourself you imagined all of it.

The lingering looks, the way his hand always found the small of your back in crowded places. How naturally the two of you moved around each other like you’d built a life together without realizing it. The quiet domesticity of him bringing you home your favorite snacks without asking. Falling asleep together on the couch, sharing inside jokes, or tying his tie for him when he has to visit his fathers company building.

Like he belonged in every crevice of your daily life.

You had spent so long forcing yourself not to read into it. Because Seungcheol was Seungcheol. Your best friend, Your roommate, the person who had become home so slowly you never even noticed it happening.

And loving him had always felt dangerous. So instead, you suppressed it.

Buried every flutter in your chest when strangers mistakenly called you his girlfriend. How much you loved hearing him laugh from another room. Locked away the embarrassing ache you felt whenever he looked especially handsome before going out somewhere. Ignoring the way your heart would sink anytime another woman flirted with him in front of you.

You told yourself it was safer that way. Better to keep him as your best friend than risk losing him entirely. But now he was sitting in front of you looking terrified of losing you, and suddenly every moment over the last four years came crashing together so violently it almost made your chest hurt.

Your throat tightened painfully as you stared at him, your pulse pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears.

Meanwhile Seungcheol looked seconds away from unraveling completely, like he already regretted saying it out loud.

And somehow that made it worse. Because all this time, he’d been carrying the same feelings you had.

He laughed once under his breath, but there was nothing amusing about it.

“We live together,” he said quietly. “We cook together. We grocery shop together. We do laundry together. We spend every stupid Sunday rotting on the couch watching movies neither of us actually likes because we’re too lazy to change them.”

Your lips parted slightly.

“And somewhere along the way my feelings stopped being normal.”” He shook his head, his thumbs rubbed nervously against your knuckles.

“I like when strangers think we’re together.”

Your breath caught.

“I like when we argue over ramen flavors in the store and old women smile at us like we’re married already.” His eyes flickered up to yours finally. “I like when we go out drinking and some guy starts trying to flirt with you, but the second I walk back over beside you he leaves because he thinks I’m your boyfriend.” His voice softened painfully. “I like taking care of you.”

Your chest felt impossibly tight now, every feeling you had spent years carefully locking away had suddenly cracked open all at once.

It hurt. Not in a bad way, not really. Just, too much.

Too much affection. Too much relief. Too much longing you’d trained yourself not to touch because wanting Seungcheol had always felt like standing too close to the edge of something dangerous.

Your eyes burned as you stared at him. At the boy who had unknowingly become the center of your entire life, and now he was sitting here looking at you like losing you would ruin him.

The realization nearly knocked the air from your lungs. Because all this time, you thought you were the only one aching quietly through all those little moments.

All those nights lying awake in your room wondering what would happen if you reached for him first. All those mornings watching him half asleep in the kitchen, thinking with painful certainty that someday another woman would get this version of him instead.

But he was looking at you now with the same fear.

“I like knowing how you take your coffee.” He laughed quietly. “I like that you steal my hoodies and leave hair ties everywhere and sing badly when you clean the apartment. I like that you always save me the last dumpling even though it’s your favorite food.” His eyes glistened slightly. “I like coming home to you.”

The room felt too small, too warm.

The tiny bathroom that had always felt ordinary suddenly seemed intimate in a way it never had before. His knees brushing against your thighs, your hands still trapped in his, the soft buzz of the overhead light filling the silence between every shaky breath.

You could hear everything. The uneven rhythm of his breathing. The faint drip of the faucet. Your own heartbeat pounding violently in your ears.

And Seungcheol was close. So close enough that you could see the nervous swallow in his throat. Close enough to notice the slight tremble in his fingers where they held yours. Close enough that if you leaned forward even an inch, both of your foreheads would touch.

It made you dizzy.

Because suddenly every little domestic moment you both shared in this apartment over the years felt charged with something you’d spent too long pretending not to notice.

Late night conversations in this same bathroom while brushing your teeth. Him standing shirtless in the doorway after showers with wet hair dripping onto the floor while you complained at him to clean it up. You sitting on the counter while he shaved, talking about absolutely nothing for an hour because being near each other had always been enough.

How had you both survived living like this for years without combusting?

The warmth crawling up your neck had nothing to do with the bathroom anymore. It was him.

The way he was looking at you now, open and terrified, aching with love he could barely contain made the entire room feel suffocatingly small.. and he still wasn’t done.

“I love how excited you get over stupid little things,” he whispered. “Like finding books at thrift stores or those ugly ceramic frogs you keep collecting for some reason—”

“They’re vintage,” you muttered automatically through the overwhelming emotion building in your chest.

He huffed out a broken laugh. “See?”

And there it was again. That ridiculous, earnest defensiveness over something objectively stupid. Even now, standing in the middle of a life altering confession, both of you seconds from emotionally unraveling, you still couldn’t help correcting him about the ceramic frogs. It hit him with such painful affection he thought his chest might split open.

Because that was you.

You cared so deeply about little things, threw your whole heart behind harmless, ridiculous things without embarrassment. You made ordinary moments feel alive simply because you existed inside them so fully, and Seungcheol had spent years helplessly falling in love with every tiny piece of it.

The way you argued passionately about thrift store finds. How you got distracted halfway through serious conversations because a dog walked past the window. The way you always, always found something to love in things other people overlooked.

Even now, with tears gathering in your eyes and his confession hanging heavily between you, your instinct has been to defend your stupid frog collection.

God. How was he ever supposed to leave someone like you behind?

Your eyes burned.

“I’m in love with you,” he finally admitted.

The words hung between you, raw and terrifying.

“And I’m horrified that while I’m gone, somebody else is gonna get all of this instead.” His voice cracked slightly now. “Somebody else gets to live with you and cook with you and hear you laugh at two in the morning and hold your hand in public and–” He stopped to breathe shakily. “I had to tell you before I left,” he whispered. “Even if you don’t feel the same. Because I think it would actually kill me if I came back and you belonged to someone else.”

Silence. Complete silence. Seungcheol’s heart pounded so violently he thought he might actually throw up.

Then suddenly, you laughed.

His brows furrowed immediately.

“What?”

You laughed harder, one hand flying up to cover your mouth as tears filled your eyes now.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked, completely bewildered as you breathed between laughs.

“We are two huge idiots.”

He blinked at you.

“What?”

You shook your head, smiling so brightly it nearly knocked the breath from him.

Then you leaned down and kissed him.

Seungcheol froze. For one stunned second, his brain stopped functioning altogether.

But then his hands were suddenly at your waist, gripping tightly as he kissed you back with years of buried longing crashing into the moment all at once.

The kiss deepened instantly. Messy, desperate, relieved.

You could feel the shaky exhale leave him as he pulled you closer between his legs, your fingers sliding over the newly shaved sides of his head as you kissed him again and again.

When you finally pulled apart for air, both of you breathless, he rested his forehead against yours in disbelief.

“You idiot,” you whispered fondly, still smiling like you couldn’t quite believe him.

“You love me?” he asked, quieter this time, like saying it wrong might make it disappear. Like he still couldn’t fully trust it was real.

You hummed, pretending to think about it as your fingers absently traced the back of his hand.

“Unfortunately for you,” you said lightly, “yes.”

His breath caught just slightly. Then, like something finally clicking into place behind his eyes, his expression shifted.

“Since when?”

The question wasn’t playful anymore. It was careful and serious.

Your teasing smile softened at the edges, but you didn’t look away. “Junior year,” you said simply.

His brows pulled together immediately. “Junior year?”

You nodded once, like it should’ve been obvious, but it wasn’t. And you let him sit in it for a second longer before you added, softer now, just a little less teasing.

“You came back to the apartment at like 1am during midterms week,” you said. “And I was on the kitchen floor because I’d completely given up on studying.” Something in his expression shifted instantly.

“Oh.”

You nodded, watching him remember it piece by piece.

“I wasn’t sick,” you continued. “I wasn’t anything dramatic. I was just.. exhausted. Like, the kind where you feel stupid for crying but you can’t stop anyway.” His thumb tightened slightly against your hand. “And you didn’t try to fix it,” you said, voice quieter now. “You just sat down next to me on the floor like it was the most normal thing in the world and started going through my notes with me.”

A faint, almost disbelieving smile flickered on his lips. He remembered now, too. Especially how pretty you still looked when you sat in front of the kitchen stove covered in a sea of notebook paper.

“And you didn’t say anything about it being late, or how tired you were,” you added. “You just stayed until I stopped crying.” You shrugged slightly, like you were trying to make it sound small.

Seungcheol went quiet. Really quiet. Like he was realizing something he’d never considered before, that for him it had just been another night of taking care of you, showing up for you, but for you, it had been the night you started loving him.

A disbelieving laugh escaped him.

Then you grinned suddenly, mischief returning to your expression.

“So while you’re gone,” you said casually, “which room should I combine our stuff into?”

He blinked.

“Huh?”

“You know,” you continued innocently, in a way only you could. “Since obviously one room becomes ours and the other becomes a spare room.”

He let out a loud scoff laugh, shaking his head in disbelief before suddenly standing up. You squealed as he grabbed your thighs and lifted you effortlessly.

“Wow,” you laughed breathlessly, your arms sliding around his shoulders while your legs wrapped around his waist. “Someone got confident really fast.”

Seungcheol looked up at you with a grin that was equal parts smug and completely lovestruck.

“You kissed me first,” he pointed out.

“You confessed first.”

“And now I’m making up for lost time.”

Heat rushed to your face instantly at the way he said it, low and certain, like something in him had finally snapped after years of holding himself back.

You tried to laugh it off anyway. “Oh, so this is who you are now?”

“This,” he said, tightening his grip slightly beneath your thighs, “is who I’ve been trying not to be around you for four years.”

Your stomach flipped violently.

“Cheol–”

“I’m serious.” His eyes flickered down to your lips again. “Do you know how hard it’s been living with you looking like that all the time?”

You let out an incredulous laugh. “Looking like what?”

“Like my girlfriend,” he answered immediately.

The bluntness of it made your breath catch.

“And now you actually are. No take backs,” he murmured, sounding a little stunned by the realization himself. Then his mouth curled into something more teasing. “So yeah,” he said softly, stepping closer until your back brushed the bathroom wall, “I’m gonna be confident for a minute.”

Before you could recover from that, he kissed you again, slower this time, deeper, like now that he finally had permission he never wanted to stop touching you.

Butterflies exploded in your stomach.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours again, eyes softer than you’d ever seen them.

“We can figure the room thing out later,” he murmured. “But we only have one week before I leave.” Your breath caught at the look in his eyes. “And there are a lot of things I’ve been fantasizing about doing with you.”

Heat rushed to your face instantly.

“Choi Seungcheol!”

He grinned for the first time all night. Then he carried you out of the bathroom and down the hall toward his bedroom while your laughter echoed through the apartment the two of you had unknowingly turned into a home together years ago.

aj-cupid

as always.

drabble.⠀⠀wc: 676⠀⠀tags: seuncheol x fem!reader, stablished relationship, fluff, pet names (cheollie, baby/babe, princess), domestic, slighty suggestive.

“Cheollie!” you whimpered, crossing the front door with the biggest pout on your lips and glistening eyes. That was enough for Seungcheol to stop doing whatever he was busy with and give you his full attention.

He was sprawled all over the couch, watching some TV junk food in a plain white oversized tee and pajama pants. He looked very cozy and relaxed. Yet, in the moment you started walking towards him, looking like a kicked puppy, all his muscles tensed, then he immediately fixed his posture, opened his arms, and pulled you into his lap.

starlight-night0

I’m not joking when I say I need this man in my life 😩

#choi seungcheol #seungcheol #scoups #seventeen scoups #seventeen seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x you #seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol fluff #scoups x reader

minasinterlude

Moth to Flame | K.TH

𐙚 Pairing : Taehyung x female main character

𐙚 Tropes : cheating , angst , smut , secret and forbidden relationship

𐙚 Word count : 12.6k

𐙚 Summary : I spent our entire relationship thinking I was the moth, being pulled into him even when I knew I shouldn't have. But now I'm realizing all this time, he was the moth and I was the forbidden flame that burnt him everyday, and still kept his life bright.

[part one] , [part two]

Check the trigger warnings in here

Have you even been in situations in life that you never thought yourself to be stuck in? Because you have always believed that no matter what, you will never make decisions that’ll end you up there. Because you could never be that cold-hearted, that sinful.

Situations that make you think ‘what would my friends think of me if they found out where I am right now?’, ‘what would the past-me think about me if she saw me right now?’

The answer to neither of those questions, or other similar ones are good. Both the past-me and my friends would be disappointed and disgusted with me.

I am disgusted with me.

It’s a shame my logical senses haven’t been working for a long time.

They say ‘How you get it is how you lose it’.

I always liked that phrase. I always believed in it. It meant that there’s a balance in the world. That karma works.

Now, with where I am, figuratively and literally, I can’t help wondering is this how she got him?

Is that why she’s losing him to me like this?

Or am I the start of this cycle? Am I the person who made him to be that guy, and I will lose him exactly how I got him?

I can’t seem to stop my head from going there every time I’m alone with my thoughts.

Maybe it’s guilt digging its ugly claws at my insides whenever I'm with him. Because in my conscious I know he isn’t mine and he shouldn’t be here with me. That I have him now because we played the unfair game.

Because I knew when we were done spending our limited time together, he had to go back home. To her.

I think that was the most painful part that made my heart ache. That he lived with her. That every time we were together, he had come from the house he shared with her. And afterwards, he had to go back there.

But what could I say? I was the side lady. The mistress and the heartless villainous bitch. And she was the girlfriend. The innocent victim.

I didn’t have the right to miss him. That right belonged to her. I didn’t have the right to call him mine, because he was hers. I didn’t have the right to love him and receive his love back because all the love was supposed to be for them. Not me.

My self-loathing comes to a halt when I feel him stirring on the mattress behind me. His soft and warm touch on my back. He moves a little more on the bed, turning fully so his front almost touches my back.

We are tangled in my soft and freshly washed sheets. The gentle touch of his fingertips drawing small patterns on my back from shoulder to shoulder makes the hair on my back rise and an electric shiver to crawl down my spine.

My shoulders draw inward a little from the soft touches. I know I just spent the first few minutes of my day loathing myself for who I've become and what we’re doing, but I can’t help the happy content smile that grows on my lips. My eyes closing on their own record while I enjoy his gentle touches.

I don’t get to wake up to his soothing embrace very often. Occasions like this are painfully rare. And highly treasured and cherished.

I slowly turn to face him. We’re so close I can smell the faint scent of his warm citrusy perfume on his naked body. Every time he visits my apartment, I end up sniffing the scent trail he leaves on my sheets and pillowcase after he leaves.

I press my nose to my pillowcase to get a stronger smell of him. His hand is still drawing circular patterns on my shoulder while he looks deep into my eyes with his sleep-dazed ones. A smile slowly breaks its way on his lips, too.

He doesn’t say anything. Just keeps doing what he’s doing with his fingertips. His warm and adoring eyes never leaving my face.

It’s like he’s trying to remember every tiny detail on my face, fearing that he might forget them if he looks away for even a second.

We don’t talk. We just enjoy the peaceful silence of our late morning together. It’s already eleven-fifty AM. But we didn’t get much of sleep last night.

I suggested that for our date night we stay home and watch a movie while we cook our own dinner. He agreed, after warning me that he may not be much help in the kitchen anyway.

Taehyung is no Gordon Ramsey in the kitchen. But it has been a while since he started trying to learn more about cooking, practicing as much as he can and watching different cooking tutorials on YouTube. He swears that even though he only watches them, they have actually helped him get better in the kitchen.

He even attempted to bake me cookies few weeks ago, even though it wasn’t a very successful attempt. But it was the thought and the effort that meant the world to me. He really did put all his efforts in those cookies. He was disappointed and pouting like a baby when they turned ruined before the timer even beeped.

After a challenging meal and watching our all-time favorite movie “Begin Again”, the movie that we watched in a cinema the first time we went out together, our night slowly turned into a passionate and heated night of love-making, shortly after tuning to a night where we didn’t stop fucking until the morning.

Taehyung draws some of the unruly hair that has stuck to my face behind my ear before resting his hand there, his thumb softly caressing my cheek.

I didn’t want our after-sex bubble to burst. On the rare occasions where he got to stay the next morning, we only had a short amount of time to stay on the bed and in each other’s arms, pretending we didn’t have to cut our time short. That we weren’t monsters, hiding our very forbidden and wrong affair a secret from everyone we know.

I place my hand on his wrist, slowly stroking his skin with the same rhythm as his. We get lost in each other’s afterglow, just lying in bed and touching the other in every way we can. Like if we didn’t hold on to each other tight enough, the other one might slip away from our hold and into the cruel reality.

“Hi.” I say with a smile on my face.

“Hey.” He says softly while tenderly caressing my jaw. His soft eyes studying every detail of my eyes.

“Do you think there’s a way you could stay in bed with me for a little longer?”

“I haven’t left the bed yet, have I?” he asks amusingly.

“No, I know. I meant for few hours.” He looks at me questionably. “I thought we could stay in bed for the day. Do nothing but eat take-out and binge watch a show or something.”

I was really hopeful when I thought about telling him my plan for us for the day. But as he looks at me with a sad smile and sadder eyes, I'm not as optimistic as I was anymore.

“I'm sorry, baby. If it was up to me, I would want to spend my entire day with you in bed and do nothing. I really do. But I need to go back home.”

He refrains from saying more about why he had to go back. But I remember now because he told me more than a week ago. Annie’s family are here in the city.

He has to go because they are hosting a family dinner at their house tonight. A family dinner at the house he’s currently living in with her. She had a sleep-over with some of her friends last night, that's why he was able to spend the night with me. But he had to go back so they could act like the happy and in love couple everyone believe them to be.

It’s really hard to hide the bitter look of sadness on my face, but I try my best for Taehyung. I slap on an understanding smile before he notices the hurt in my eyes.

I do an awful job at making the smile reach my eyes.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

I don’t sound as convincing as I wanted.

“I'm sorry. You know that I would rather stay here with you. But she’s been talking about this family dinner nonstop for weeks. I can’t get out of it.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I don’t want you to get out of it. Don’t worry yourself about it.” I try and deliver a way better assuring smile this time as I sit up on the bed. “Don’t miss the dinner.”

I push the blanket off me and move towards the bathroom.

But he’s not convinced by my reassurance because he calls my name with plea as he sits up on the bed with a desperate frown etched on his forehead.

Somehow our morning got ruined before it even had a chance to start.

“Seriously. There’s nothing wrong with going to the dinner.” I let out a weak laugh. “Please don’t feel guilty about it, okay? I understand”

It still doesn’t seem to assure him enough but he gives in and lets the subject go. I give him a small kiss on his lips and leave the bedroom.

My apartment isn’t huge. But it is a very nice place, in a very good neighborhood. A onebedroom apartment with one bathroom that has two doors to both the bedroom and living room, and an open space kitchen. It’s not ginormous, just a perfectly good size place for one person.

After I do my morning routine in the bathroom and take a quick shower, I step out of the bathroom with a robe towel wrapped around my body.

I walk into the living room and I’m met with a fully dressed Taehyung standing over my espresso machine, busy making me my morning iced coffee.

The sight warms my heart and wakens the butterflies in my stomach.

Taehyung hates coffee. He never drinks coffee so automatically he never cared to know how to make them. But he goes out of his way each time to make my iced coffee every morning we spend together because he knows iced coffee is a must for me to start my day.

He leaves the cup of espresso to chill and just as he turns around, he comes eye to eye with me and sees me standing by the bathroom door, swooning over him.

He greets me with the most gorgeous smile and walks past the kitchen counter to stand in front of me. He places both of his hands on my waist.

I smile up at him and move my body to be closer to him. I nuzzle my nose in his collar to get a whiff of his scent.

Scents are the main revivers of memories. At least they have always been for me. One whiff of his signature scent, the mix of his natural scent and after trail of his Armani perfume he wore last night, and I relive all of our moments spent together. Bitter ones along with the sweet ones.

Taehyung presses his lips to my temple with his eyes closed as we stay there for few moments without saying anything.

“Didn’t you want to take a shower, too?” I ask him, worried he might get late.

“No, it’s okay. I'm gonna take a shower when I go home.”

He keeps his lips on my temple. But I bring my face up to give him a questioning look.

“Annie’s not home. She’s won’t be until the afternoon.” He explains to me.

I nod my head in realization. I move out of his hold to walk towards the kitchen. But before I can do that, he presses a lingering kiss on my forehead before tilting my head upwards with his knuckles on my jaw. He searches my eyes.

I stare at his dark deep eyes. I don’t know what he’s searching for or what I can say to make him feel better, but I do my best with my eyes.

I lean into him and peck his soft lips before going to the kitchen. I realize that except for my coffee, he hasn’t made anything else for himself. I start making something for our breakfast along with tea for Taehyung.

While I finish up the breakfast, he comes to my side and takes the espresso from the counter. He gets started on making my vanilla iced latte as I finish setting the breakfast on the counter.

We sit across each other on my counter and begin our meal.

“Do you have any plans for Tuesday night?” I ask between bites of my fruit salad.

“I don’t think I have any plans yet. Why?”

“My office has given me reservations for a really nice place. I thought we could go out and have a dinner date. It’s a really classy place.”

I haven’t made a lot of new friends in the city since I moved in. Maybe only one or two good friends. Apart from them, everyone else I know are friends from works. And out of everyone I know, Taehyung is the person I’d want to spend time with as much as possible.

“That sounds nice.” He pauses before his eyebrows lower in confusion. “Where did the sudden reservations come from? Are there gonna be any other coworkers around?”

My chewing slows down. Seeing someone we know when we’re together in public is something we’ve always been careful of. Even though I admit it’s been kind of nice to explore new places we have never hung out with our friends and discovering new locations for our public dates, the paranoia that someone might still see us together has always drained our energy more than we want to admit.

No one wants the constant pressure and stress over their heads when they just want to enjoy their time.

“No. As far as I know, no one else got the reservations.”

Taehyung is quiet for few seconds, lost in his thoughts.

“So you were the only one that received the fancy reservations?”

“Yeah, I guess. I closed a deal with a new client and my boss was really happy about it. It was kind of like a bonus reward.”

“Uh-ah.” He nods slowly and goes back to his dish.

I’m not sure, but I feel he’s not happy with my answer. I search his body language for a hint of what might be wrong. Eventually when I find nothing on my own, I ask him.

“Is something wrong?”

He looks up to meet my eyes. He doesn’t give too much up with his eyes when he replies. “No. Nothing’s wrong.”

“You sure? I felt your mood changed after I mentioned the reservation.”

He doesn’t say anything at first. Just looks at me and then down, thinking over his respond in his head. Eventually he sighs and finally speaks.

“I just feel like your boss has been very generous recently.”

“Not this topic again, Taehyung.” I sigh defeatedly.

“Come on, babe. It’s not the first or second time he has given you special treatment. He has a clear favoritism towards you and there is a clear reason behind it.” He argues but his voice still carries its calmness.

“He doesn’t have a favoritism for me.” I argue weakly.

He arches a brow. “So he gives expensive fancy reservations to every other employee or invites them out for dinner and buys them random pricy gifts?”

I stay silent and look down at my plate, playing with my fruit salad. “When you put it that way…”

“Please be careful around that guy, babe. Especially if you have to be alone with him in a room. I really don’t like him, and I would hate to have to go to jail for beating your boss to a pulp.”

My eyes widen. “Okay, how about calming down a little. I’ll be careful around him. Please stop threatening people’s lives, you psycho.”

He might sound like he’s kidding. But I know that deep down, he’s not.

I try to change the subject and deter his mind from focusing on my boss. My boss has been a triggering subject for him ever since he asked me on a dinner to talk about a deal I was supposed to make with a potential client.

It was just him and me in a really expensive and high-class restaurant. He didn’t do or say anything inappropriate to me, not directly. But the fact that to an outsider our dinner looked like a romantic date made me feel very uneasy the whole time. Usually when we had dinner or lunch reservations to talk about work, they would be in a more casual place, not in a romantic place that has a reputation for being a place for serious, romantic dates.

Fancy and exclusive restaurants on the more expensive areas of the city that were really hard to get into were not considered casual or common.

So to say Taehyung didn’t like my boss was an understatement.

Even throwing away the gift my boss gave me five seconds after I opened it didn’t ease his discomfort.

After we’re done with our breakfast, Taehyung gets busy doing the dishes while I put on a pair of sweatpants and a simple oversize t-shirt that originally belonged to Taehyung. It now belongs to a separate drawer I cleared out only for the clothes he keeps here.

He doesn’t have a crazy number of clothes in my apartment considering we aren’t able to spent many nights together. Only a few pieces he bought so he can keep them here along with couple of hoodies. He didn’t want to bring his own clothes at home and risk Annie’s suspicion.

I make my bed and step out of my bedroom just when Taehyung finishes with the dishes. We spend some more time together before he says that he should probably leave. Although he makes sure to give me a warm lingering kiss that will live in my head for a while before he leaves.

The kiss lasted more than we intended. He held my head between his palms and looked into my eyes for a good minute. The look in his eyes is the reason I keep falling for him every day. When he looks at me with his addicting eyes like he is mesmerized. And all I think about is how enchanted I am by his deep eyes, too.

I usually spend the days I’m not working doing absolutely nothing. Just stay in my pajama sets and binge watch a sitcom show or something. But tonight, I do everything and anything I can think of to take my mind off of the gloominess that clouds my brain. I stop myself from wanting to text Taehyung during the night to check on him more than few times.

Because why would I even want to know how is the dinner going? I tell myself I would only be torturing myself if I texted Taehyung during their family dinner.

It takes a lot of control and willpower but I keep myself from thinking about how Taehyung and Annie might be spending their time together. About how they might seem like the perfect couple with how they keep giving each other little pecks and kisses here and there and cuddle and hold each other while they’re sitting on the couch and talking to Annie’s parents. I try to not imagine any of those scenarios as I hold the small fluffy cushion tighter to my chest and try to focus on watching the TV show playing in front of me.

· · ─ ·ʚɞ· ─ · ·

What is worse than spending your entire night not being able to stop your brain from thinking torturous scenarios about someone you love living with someone else, you might ask?

Having to work the next morning while you’re sleep deprived.

The first iced coffee I got from a local café on my way to work wasn’t close to enough for socializing with people when I only got three hours of sleep last night. I will definitely have to continue my day with more than one cup of coffee.

The office is still not full when I walk in. I walk straight to my desk trying to look straight ahead without making eye contact with other coworkers.

I slowly place my coffee and my bag on my desk. I take out my tablet as I sit and wait for my computer to start and log in. There aren’t many people working in our floor. But we are close to the top floor, so our office is nice and fancy. With a full glass office for our manager.

For now, I decide to work on my schedule for the week and organize my personal calendar. I have barely started working when I hear a cheerful feminine voice greeting me from the other side of office.

Yeah, definitely not enough caffeine in my system yet.

I place my tablet next to my computer and focus the little energy I have on putting on a smile that doesn’t seem as forced as it feels and bring my head up to look at the happy energetic woman.

“Hey Annie. Good morning.”

“Hey. How was your weekend?” She says with a smile that oddly enough, reaches her eyes.

Who is even this happy and energetic at 8 am of a Monday morning?

Oh god, please don’t tell me that they-

“Are you okay?”

I shake the daze out of my head and meet Annie’s confused eyes.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I smile weakly. “It was a good weekend. How about yours? What did you do yesterday?”

I mentally cringe at my question and give myself a smack at the head. Of course I don't want to know how last night went for her.

A massive smile appears on her face. I can actually see memories flash through her eyes. Fuck.

“It was really good. My parents finally got to visit me after months.” she makes herself comfortable by sitting on the edge of my desk. The huge smile still glued to her face. “Taehyung helped me prepare dinner and my parents fell in love with it. We hung out and spent the whole night watching movies.”

I mentally cringe at my awkward smile but I keep it up. If my awkward encounters with my boss and hours of boring and insufferable meetings prepared me for one thing, it’s moments like this. When Annie speaks about how much of a dreamy boyfriend Taehyung is. Or when our mutual friends talk about how perfect and lovely they look as a couple.

It’s important to always. Keep. The. Smile. On.

I should give myself credit, though. The smile looks more genuine with each try even though I feel a little more dead inside each time.

Annie goes on about their amazing night, their funny conversations and all the movies they watched until they fell asleep. And I keep my smile through it and pretend I’m interested even though I’d rather get back to my coffee and the pile of work I need to do.

Thankfully, Jimin, a coworker and a good friend of us comes and saves me. He approaches us with a work request and asks Annie for help before they both leave my desk.

I relax my face which is aching from the forced smiles and get back to my work.

I'm not really a bitch. Not in the work place and not to Annie. She did nothing wrong. If anything, I'm the person doing her wrong. But it’s understandable that having to hear her rave about her relationship to our coworkers puts me in a sour mood. And they have gotten more and more constant ever since Taehyung confessed to me that their relationship hasn’t been as dreamy as she tries to make it seem for a long time. If anything, it keeps getting worse.

I tried to feel guilty for having a part in that. But at that moment, cocooned in Taehyung’s big and warm arms as we cuddled on my bed and he played with my hair, showering me with sweet kisses, it was a little hard for me to feel remorse or guilt.

I was exactly where I needed to be.

Not saying that the guilt didn’t eat me alive later.

I focus on doing my work and don’t let anything distract me. Thoughts like Annie’s laugh or my own raging thoughts, or the fact that I haven’t received any texts from Taehyung like I usually would. Nope. I don’t focus on any of those. I just concentrate on my work.

I usually take my lunch breaks around this hour every day. My back is screaming every swear word known to mankind at me for sitting in the same position for hours straight, and my butt feels completely numb at this point.

My body is going to hate me when I hit my fifties.

I push my chair back and stretch my body a little, hearing almost every bone on my back and shoulders crack. The only time I got off my desk today was when I needed another cup of coffee. I look at my empty cup before I see my phone screen light up with a text notification.

My tired face instantly lights up with a smile before realizing I'm grinning at my phone like an idiot. I neutralize my face before anyone notices and pick up my phone.

As I had anticipated, I see the texts from Taehyung.

Taehyung: Hey curly head. How’s work? Be honest, how many coffees did you have before eating anything? Don’t forget to leave your desk for a little bit and eat something.

Taehyung: I'm sorry I didn’t call you last night. I tried but I got interrupted the moment I dialed you and I didn’t get a minute to myself after that. I'm really sorry. I’ll make up for it when I see you. Can’t wait for tomorrow night. [red heart emoji]

I read the text a second time with a small smile that escapes my lips even though I try to keep my face plain.

One of Taehyung’s pet names for me is “curly head”. I don’t usually wear my hair in their natural curly style, preferring straight hair over curls since I think it suits me better. But Taehyung disagrees. He loves the natural style. I think he’s a little too obsessed with my curls.

I really was waiting for him to call me the entire night. I didn’t get my hopes too high, though. I know how clingy Annie can get when they have an audience. Deep down, I already knew he wouldn’t be able to call me even though he promised the moment he got some moment of privacy, he would.

I quickly text him back. Assuring him that I understood it would be hard for him to call me and that I just hope he enjoyed his night.

I don’t wait for a reply from him. Instead, I decide to have my lunch now.

The moment I step into the breakroom, Jia, one of my closest friends walks in after me and sits on the empty chair next to me.

“Hey, I've been looking for you. Do you have any plans after work?”

I put my lunch down on the table.

“No. Not any plans. How come?”

“Nothing special. Some of the guys wanted to go out for drinks after work. Thought we could join them. We haven’t spent much time together lately.”

“Yeah, sorry for that. Life has been hectic lately.” I give an apologetic smile.

“Great.” She smiles happily. “It’s a promise. You will not vanish right after work and we’ll do some catching up.”

Catching Jia up on my life has turned into a very challenging task since a lot of my recent activities included a certain someone that I could not mention to any of my friends, let alone my best friend.

Not only was it hard to imagine the look on my friend’s face if she were to find out about my affair, but it was impossible to bear the image of her pure hatred towards me if she ever found out who I had an affair with.

Jia and Annie have been good friends for years. The betrayal would feel bigger for her.

So instead, I settle for telling her small boring news about my life. I listen to her life updates for most of the night. We listen to the music playing in the bar as we drink and talk, occasionally partaking in a conversation with our colleagues, too.

At some point in the night, someone thinks it’s a good idea to play a drinking game. And despite some disagreements and calling it a silly idea, we play it anyway.

It turns out to be a safe and decent game. No big drama is created and even though we find out some interesting facts about our work friends, everyone’s dignity remains safe.

No one crosses any boundaries and surprisingly, we have a good time, considering the questions came from a random website which had a huge potential to go very bad. Because on top of that, Annie agreed to play, too.

· · ─ ·ʚɞ· ─ · ·

Before

I ignore the text notification that is lighting up my phone screen again as I refill my drink and gulp down my drink immediately.

There’s not too many people in the kitchen. Well, not many people I know. Jia is a social butterfly with a lot of friends and acquaintances from everywhere. It was a given that her twenty-sixth birthday party would be a crowded one. Fortunately for her, her two bedroom apartment has more than enough space for all of her guests.

She comes from a great financial background. So it wasn’t hard for her to find a spacious apartment in the good side of the city when she decided to start her independent life.

I ran away from the swarmed living room and found an amazing company next to her liquor cabinet minutes ago.

Being surrounded by so many people was not easy for me. I don’t know a lot of them and I’m not in a socializing mood tonight. The only way I had to entertain myself was to browse on my phone, but the nonstop texts and calls have pissed me off even more.

I’m not usually a sad and distant person in parties and social gatherings, but tonight I don’t feel like my usual self. Deep down, I just want to be alone, maybe with a bowl of ice cream and an episode of “2 Broke Girls”. But Jia is my closest friend. I couldn’t forgive myself if I left her tonight and missed her birthday. So I decided to suck it up and stay for a few hours. I’m not staying until after midnight. And I try to stay in the more crowded rooms as little as possible.

I catch the balcony empty and take my only chance. I haven’t been able to have a fresh air the entire night. People have been going in and out of the balcony the entire night for a smokebreak since Jia was very strike about no smoking inside the house. I move towards the balcony door quickly, not wanting to give another person a chance to beat me into it.

I get out of the living room and close the balcony’s sliding door behind me. I inhale the free air through my nose. There was no smell of smoke inside, but the headache enthusing smell of all the mixed perfumes and strong alcohol was starting to make me nauseous.

Honestly, the smell of my own breath is starting to bother me, too.

I look into my handbag for mint, when I notice another presence in here with me. I jolt when I look up and see someone on the other side, leaning on the edge of the balcony with a cigarette in his hand.

“Sorry, I didn’t know someone was here.” I say quickly before turning for the door.

“No, it’s fine.” He stops me. “Please, stay.”

I open my lips to respond but I hesitate.

“Is everything okay?” He asks gently.

“Yes. It’s just that… I don’t like the smell of smoke.” I look at the smoke between his fingers.

He follows my eyes and looks down at the cigar in his hand.

I wait for him to get offended and throw me out himself, but he surprises me when he brings his head up and looks at me with a soft smile.

That’s when I really realize how beautiful this man is. His smile makes my head stop working for long seconds. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.

The gears in my head start working when he starts speaking again.

“Oh. Forgive me.” With that, he uses the ash tray on his left to put down his smoke.

I’m surprised by his action.

“You didn’t have to do that. I just came out here for some air. I could’ve just gone back inside.”

“It was my bad. You’re right. People should have some fresh air when they come outside, not be smothered by the smell of smoke.”

“Actually, everyone come out here for smoking. I don’t think anyone here needs a breath of fresh air.” I smile.

“Well, then it makes just the two of us.” He stares ahead into the city.

I look at over his figure leaning his weight on his elbows. He doesn’t look as lively as the rest of the party. Almost like me.

“You didn’t look like you were getting much fresh air a moment ago.” I joke as I point at his half-smoked cigarette.

“Yeah, I guess.” He looks down at it and chuckles. “I suppose I needed to be by myself a little more than I needed fresh air.” He says on a more serious note.

I understand that. That’s exactly why I needed to get on this balcony, too. No one in that room knows about the failure of my relationship, not even Jia.

I don’t think it was the fact that I didn’t want to explain to people why I’m not here with my boyfriend -well, now ex-boyfriend-, or even mentioning that he hasn’t stopped reaching out to me all night, even though he was the one that ended our relationship three weeks ago that made me want to be away from people. Just loneliness, and somehow being overwhelmed at the same time.

We stand in silence and enjoy the quietness. It’s not exactly quiet. The city is alive as it could be and we can still hear the sound of music and chatter from inside the apartment. But it’s not being talked to and not having to talk that makes the moment pleasant.

At some point, as we enjoy the view, I feel calm and comfortable enough to break the silence and hold a conversation with the gorgeous man next to me.

“How do you know Jia?” I turn my eyes to him.

His eyes leave the city to look at me.

“I’m not personally a friend of her myself. I know her through someone.” He settles for the short answer. “You?”

“She’s one of my closest friends.” I don’t mention that she’s my only true close friend, not wanting to seem as lonely and unsocial as I feel.

“Then you should be inside, partying and drinking with her like all of her friends. What are you doing here?” He genuinely asks. He doesn’t sound insulting or mocking by any means.

“I don’t really feel partying tonight. I don’t mind getting drunk, though.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, same.”

“How come you’re not inside?” I ask. “Didn’t you mention you’re friend with Jia’s friend?”

He looks down at his hand as he tangles his fingers together. He slowly nods. “Yeah, but I guess I was feeling a little overwhelmed, too. I’m not a big fan of huge crowded groups of people.”

“Then how come you attended this party?”

He keeps his eyes down on his hands.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.” I quickly apologize when I realize I might’ve overstepped. “I just meant in the way that everyone who knows Jia knows that her parties aren’t on the more exclusive and private side.”

He chuckles as he straightens up and sits on the chair next to him.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t offended by the question.” he sighs. “I didn’t have anything better to do, so I had to come.” He glances my way. “How about you?”

“I can think of one or two things I could be doing right now,” I lean my hip on the chair on the opposite side of the table Taehyung’s sitting at. “but I had to be here for Jia. Didn’t want to not be with her for her birthday.”

“But you’re not with her right now.” He raises his eyebrow at me in question.

“That’s right, I’m not.” I chuckle. “But it’s the thought that counts. And she’s so busy with all the other guests, she won’t even notice that I’m hiding out here.”

“So you’re hiding here? I thought you were having some fresh air.” He amuses with a teasing smirk.

I laugh at his attempt to bust me. “Can’t a person do both?”

“Yes. I guess they can.” He says as his gorgeous smile starts to wear off.

I look down at my hand as I play with the strap of my handbag.

“It’s interesting how I’ve known Jia for so long but I’ve never seen you around.” He says out loud, bringing me out of my head.

“I haven’t known her for long.” I sit on the chair. “And we usually hang out on our own, just the two of us. She has invited me to join her and her friends many times, but I guess I wasn’t comfortable doing that.”

“Why not?”

I sigh as I look away at the busy city.

“I guess I wasn’t a big fan of huge crowded groups of people, either. I prefer small but close circles.” I finish with a small smile.

He slowly nods his head while keeping his eyes on me. We don’t break the gaze. I feel lost in his dark eyes as I notice the asymmetrical shape of his eyelids. It’s almost painful how exquisite his face is.

I can’t help but feel a strong pull to him. Like I want to be closer to him, and not just in a physical way. I want to get to know him. I want to keep talking to him and listen to him talking to me all night. Could it be possible to stay here on this balcony with him without anyone interrupting us and talk all night? Because that’s what I truly want.

“What?” he asks with a chuckle.

“What?” I say right back, dumbfounded because he just pulled me back to the moment.

“You’re staring at me.” He chuckles again.

“You were staring, too.”

“Maybe. But I want to know why you were staring.”

“You are a confusing man. Did you know that?”

“Is what you think of me? Just confusing?”

“That, among other things.” My heartrate picks up.

“And what are those other things?”

“What is this, a self-analysis test you’re having? Wanting to know how people perceive you?” I raise an eyebrow with a tilt of my lips.

He lets out a laugh before turning his eyes to the view in front of us, but seems to change his mind when he looks my way again.

“I’m Taehyung, by the way.”

I smile at him. A beautiful name for a beautiful man, I think to myself.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Taehyung.” I say his name out loud, wanting to hear how it sounds on my tongue. “I’m-”

We both jolt at the loud sound of the balcony door sliding open. Jia looks at me with overjoyed eyes.

“Here you are.” She announces happily. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Her eyes fall on Taehyung before she stops in her track.

“Oh, you’re here too, Taehyung.” She says with a grin.

Taehyung gives her a smile, but it doesn’t seem to reach his eyes.

“Come on out, you two. What are you even doing in here?”

I go to protest, but Jia leans forward and grabs my forearm. I look behind my shoulder to plea for help from Taehyung before Jia literally starts to drag me out of the balcony. I mouth “Please help me” to him. I see him looking our way with a chuckle. He puts his hands in his pockets and looks down before shakes his head slowly. He starts to follow us inside while Jia still holds my arm and leads me into her spacious living room.

She guides us through the room and into a group of people. Some of them are sitting on the couch and some are standing close to them with drinks in their hands, talking.

Jia doesn’t lose the hold she has on me while she leans back and grabs Taehyung’s button down shirt. She gently shoves him forward.

“Look, Annie. I finally found your man. He’s been in the balcony the whole time.” She says loudly over the music to the blonde girl sitting on the couch.

My face falls at Jia’s words. I’m socked to the point that I can’t move even a millimeter.

I stand still as I watch Taehyung slowly walk to the couch where the blonde girl is sitting.

From the outside, my face is void of any emotions as I watch with my crazy heartbeat how the guy sitting next to her leaves his seat so Taehyung can sit next to her. Annie, the blonde girl, puts her hand on his thigh and he rests his arm on the couch behind Annie.

Taehyung brings his head up and looks directly into my eyes. The second I see his dark hazel eyes see me looking at him, I avert my eyes. I try to look anywhere but at them.

My eyes fall at the guy standing next to Jia and on cue, he turns his head to me and greets me with a smile. I return the gesture by a smile of my own that doesn’t quite reach my eyes.

“I haven’t seen you all night. Why do you keep running away?” Jia directs at me.

“Sure you’ve seen me. You just don’t remember because you had to greet a thousand other people.” I reply with the soft smile intact to my lips.

Jia chuckles. “Yeah, I know. It turned into a bigger party than I planned. And it’s funny because you don’t know more than half of them. Let’s start from here.”

Two guys that were sitting on the smaller couch leave their seats to go with the two girls they were talking to, and Jia leads us towards their seats.

She sits on the right side of the couch, leaving me the left side. Right next to Annie.

Jia starts. “This is Annie. One of my oldest friends here.”

She gives me sweet smile and nods her head at me. I feel slightly uncomfortable meeting her eyes. But I can’t let it show. We don’t even know each other. No one can know how awkward I feel inside because I had a short-lived crush on her boyfriend and admired his insane beauty in my head.

I mean, I’m sure she’s used to girls admiring her boyfriend. He looks like a freaking Greek god.

“And you’re going to be seeing a lot of her. She’s actually in our company building. She’s been recently promoted to our floor.” Jia raises her drink to her friend.

Annie happily giggles and returns the gesture at Jia.

I smile politely at her and brace myself for the next person Jia will be introducing to me.

“And this is Taehyung, Annie’s boyfriend. Which I guess you’ve kind of already met.”

I swallow as I meet Taehyung’s gaze. He doesn’t show any particular emotion. He just smiles and nods his head slightly. His smile is genuine and beautiful. Just like the one he gave me when we were out on the balcony.

Stop admiring other people’s boyfriends, you idiot, I scream at myself.

I try to not keep my eyes on him for too long. My body stiff and uncomfortable under his gentle but deep gaze.

My body doesn’t relax as I greet everyone Jia introduces to me, because I can still feel Taehyung’s eyes on me.

And that’s when I know for sure, that whatever chemistry I felt outside on the terrace wasn’t just in my head. It was something that we both definitely felt. And even now when we’re not alone anymore, we still feel it around us.

We both notice it all, and it’s a good thing that no one else does.

· · ─ ·ʚɞ· ─ · ·

Present

“Oh my god! It’s huge and beautiful.” A female coworker exclaims while holding Minji’s hand.

Everyone from our office have circled around the happy couple when they walked in together and announced that they are officially engaged now. They’ve been in a relationship for the past year and a half and apparently, Junho popped the question this past weekend when they went on a small vacation with her family.

We are standing around them, congratulating them when someone clears their throat not so quietly.

We all turn around to see our boss standing in the entryway looking unpleased with the crowd that has formed. He couldn’t care less about two of his employees engagement, so quietly scatter around the office, each person taking their own seat at their desk.

I’m stopped in my track by my boss as he approaches me and asks for a minute of my time. I don’t want to give him a minute of my time, but he’s my boss and I’m his employee. So I smile politely and give him a fucking minute of my time.

“What was just going on over there?” he asks with a gentler tone, as opposed to his expression back there.

“Just congratulating our coworkers.” I say with a flat smile.

“I see.” He doesn’t seem to care anyway, because he asks. “How was dinner last Tuesday?”

“It was great, sir. Thank you again, for the reservation.”

“Oh, of course. Don’t mention it.” He makes himself comfortable and sits on the edge of an empty desk. “Though it was a shame I couldn’t go on the dinner myself, too.” He says pointedly.

I give him a tight smile, fully understanding the meaning behind his eyes and meaningful smirk. It’s not like I can do anything about his behavior. He’s my boss. He has all the upper hands and all I can do is to stay silent and take it.

“Tell me, did you go by yourself?”

“No, sir. I actually took a friend with me.”

He hums to himself. I keep my tight smile, hoping he dismisses me so I can go back to my work.

“Good. You keep nailing your deals, and I’ll make sure you’ll get your bonuses for your hard work.” His voice gets lower. His eyes not leaving me.

I shift my weight on my feet, feeling uneasy with this conversation. I didn’t want to admit it to Taehyung the other day to fuel his fire, but he was absolutely right about him. And I don’t like being alone with this man.

He finally dismisses me and I try to not look too happy as I turn around and walk towards my desk.

“She’s finally done kissing his balls. God, she doesn’t even try to be subtle about it.” I hear a woman whisper to someone. They’re talking about me.

I stop in my track. I turn around and see the two women close to each other while they give me a dirty look. The moment I look at them, they stand tall and neutralize their faces. But it’s not because of me.

I sense Jimin coming to stand next to me before I see the unfriendly way he looks at the two women. He doesn’t have to say anything to them. They both turn their heads away, pretending they weren’t talking shit behind my back and scatter away towards their own desks.

He doesn’t leave my side after he scares the nosy mean girls of the office away. I turn to him fully and see his face soften.

“Don’t pay them any attention.” He tells me.

“It’s hard not to. Doesn’t half of the office already think I’m sleeping with him for bonus and promotion?” More like the entire office.

And Jimin knows that. That’s why he doesn’t say anything, he just looks at me with helpless eyes. Like he understands the truth, and wishes he could make everyone else realize that, too. But he can’t. People will believe what they want to believe. And if they know the truth, but still decide to believe something else, no one can do anything about it.

“Doesn’t matter. They don’t matter to me, anyway.” I try to use a more cheerful tone. “At least one person here doesn’t think that of me.” I smile at him.

A smile breaks through his lips before he squeezes my shoulder in reassurance.

“I would never believe such a thing about you.”

We both go to our own desks to get back to our work.

Later that day, we decide to go to our usual place for drinks in celebration of our coworkers engagement.

We all sit around a table in the bar. Some of the guys bring more chairs from other tables so we can all sit with each other. Some of us decide to stay here for longer, and I agree. I miss spending time with the few friends I have. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun hanging out with Jia and Jimin.

Jia is busy showing us something on her phone when Annie’s phone, who is sitting on the other side of Jia, rings. Jia pauses the video before Annie apologizes with a grin and answers her phone.

“Hey, honey. Yeah, we're inside the bar.”

The genuine smile that had lasted on my lips all night falls instantly. It’s no mystery who’s on the other line.

“Yes, we’re all sitting at a big table.” She raises her head to look around the bar.

I get alarmed by her words. I sit up in my chair while I feel my heart in my mouth. Annie’s growing smile while she shakes her hand for someone behind us frightens me even more.

Oh god. Oh god, please don’t let that be…

Annie hangs up the phone as Jia speaks up.

“Is that Taehyung?”

“Yes. Everyone decided to stay late and drink, so I thought I could call him over, too. We haven’t all gotten together for a drink in so long.”

Jee, I wonder why.

Jia just smiles happily, and as Taehyung gets closer to our table. I stay put in my seat, my back facing Taehyung as Jia and Annie and couple of other guys get up from their chairs to greet him.

Most of their friends came to their circle through Jia, and Jia is almost friends with our entire building. And ever since Annie joined our floor, more and more people from our office joined their social circle.

Somehow, me and Jimin are the only people that don’t hang out with them as much. Jimin has his own close friends and social circle. And me, well, my reasons are pretty clear. And so I keep my eyes forward.

Taehyung walks to where Annie was sitting while he says hi to Jimin who is sitting on my left side. Jimin greets him with a nod of his head before Taehyung eyes fall on me next. I turn to him just enough to welcome him with a short smile and nod of my head.

No one notices the look we exchange. We’ve had enough practice in situations similar to this to not get caught. We keep the interactions and eye contacts to a minimum. Because we know when our eyes meet, there is no hiding the obvious longing in our eyes. That’s why I’m the first one to break the eye contact and look down at my drink.

“You should bring another chair from over there.” Jia tells Taehyung, pointing to an empty chair two tables away from us.

“Oh, it’s fine. He can take mine.” Annie chirps before pushing Taehyung down on the seat.

“What about yourself?” Asks Jimin.

Annie sits on Taehyung’s lap and swings her arm around his neck. “I have one right over here.”

Taehyung seams stiff and uncomfortable by her little show but gives her a tight smile. Everyone else though, find Annie charming and amusing. I put on a tight smile, but what I really wanna do is to pull at my hair, hard.

Staying here was a mistake. I should’ve left sooner when I had the chance. If I leave now, after I agreed to stay late, everyone specially Jia will find it weird.

Everyone start talking again. They joke and laugh and order more rounds of drinks. I’m torn between drinking my heart out until I don’t give a fuck about how Annie keeps playing with Taehyung’s hair mindlessly while she listens to others talking, or stop drinking now before I get too drunk and do something stupid.

But it’s hard. I know I don’t have the right to feel this way, but it hurts me to sit here helplessly and watch them present a perfect couple. Annie keeps getting closer to Taehyung and kisses his face here and there while Taehyung keeps his hands perfectly still on her waist. It’s like being forced to watch a live show of the most torturous play ever.

But I don’t show a single emotion. I sit there and take it all. I keep myself busy by talking to Jimin, since Jia is too busy being the life of the party and talking to everyone else. And I don’t want to be involved in their conversation. I don’t want to have to look their way more than necessary. Even though I know I can’t ignore them and everyone else at the table all night.

When Jia directs a question at me out loud, I have no choice but to turn a little on my seat and look their way.

The moment I turn around, I go still.

I watch as Annie does a shot but doesn’t swallow the drink. She holds Taehyung’s face tight in her hand and kisses him, passing the drink to Taehyung while her lips are on his soft ones.

Suddenly, I can’t remember what I wanted to say. I can’t even remember what was Jia’s question. All I feel is a huge wave of nausea. I start to feel sick as I see Taehyung swallowing the drink and tells Annie something as he uses a napkin to wipe the drink that poured out of her mouth on his chin. I even hear a few coworkers whistling at them. But the sound is muffled in my ears.

When I feel the nausea getting more intense, I grab my purse off the table.

“Excuse me, guys. I feel a little unwell. I’ll be back.”

I stand up from my seat and leave the table before anyone gets a chance to talk to me. I want to run to the bathroom, but that will look too strange.

So I calm myself and breathe through my nose. When I get to the ladies room, I shove the door open and throw myself in. My purse slips out of my hand and onto the floor as I grab onto the sink before I feel my legs give out.

I press my eyes shut, but it’s no help. I can’t shake the image out of my head. I know it’sridiculous to feel this way. They’ve done way worse things, but I don’t want to have a front row ticket to any of those.

I cover my mouth with my palm and breathe harder. I feel my skin getting warm. Too warm. I hate using public restrooms, let alone get sick in one of them.

I splash some cold water on my burning skin before I hear the door to the bathroom opening. I get myself together and stand straight. Even though I still feel nauseated, I don’t want one of my coworkers to see me like this. Just like the incident earlier today at the office, my female coworkers can get really mean sometimes.

But I jump in my spot when I see it’s Taehyung.

I feel the bile rising in my mouth.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I whisper-yell.

I never checked the toilet stalls. We’ll be screwed if someone is in one of them.

“I came to check on you. You didn’t seem okay.” He says before he walks to me.

“I’m fine. Okay? Now please go before someone comes in here.” I tell him, but my words don’t change the fact that I lean into his touch when he holds my face in his palms.

My eyes close on their own record as I cling onto his hands. His touch is like ice on fire, cooling down my burning skin.

“But you don’t look okay.” He sounds even more concerned.

“Tae, what if someone sees us in here?” I ask lazily.

“Don’t worry. Everyone were too engaged in another drinking game.” That doesn’t ease my worries. “What’s wrong with you? Are you going to get sick?”

Yes. I feel like it’ll happen any moment now.

“I couldn’t. I just couldn’t watch you two...” I shut my eyes again.

Awareness dawns on him as he holds my face with a new compassion. He lowers his head till our foreheads touch.

“I’m sorry, babe. I really am. She keeps catching me by surprise. Trust me, I didn’t want to do any of those displays of affection.”

I feel the desperation in his voice. He keeps caressing my cheeks with his thumbs as he apologizes, so I pour my heart out.

“I know it’s unfair to feel like this. She is your girlfriend and I’m nobody. But I just…” My eyes get blurry as I look up at his beautiful, sad eyes.

“You are not nobody. You hear me? You’re my everything. Everything that is keeping me together and standing up. I don’t have anything but you.”

His eyes are so passionate, pushing out every word with a heavy load of meaning. I look into his eyes with a new-found revelation.

I’ve always thought I’m the one that fell first and harder. I wasn’t even sure if he ever fell for me, if he felt as strongly as I felt towards him. Or if I was simply a mistress for him. A woman on the side.

But his words, the way he’s looking at me, the longing and the pain, I know now for sure. I don’t know who fell first, but I know that he’s the one falling harder.

“Taehyung-”

He shushes me by putting his lips on mine. Kissing me like it’s our first kiss, like it might be our last kiss, too. He pours all of his pain and passion into the kiss, forcing my lips apart so he can push his tongue in.

I don’t get enough time to react. He dominates my tongue in no time, kissing me with so much skill and force, I feel my heart in my mouth for a completely different reason that earlier.

He slips his fingers through my hair and hold the back of my head. He slowly takes a step forward while I take one backwards. We repeat the same rhythm until my back hits the bathroom wall.

He mindlessly thrusts his hips into me, losing control for a moment. We both moan at the same time, but the sound is muffled by our touching lips. He does the same move again, thrusting his hips into me, and then I lose my control.

I hang onto his body for dear life, pushing my hips into his, trying to feel more of him. Of the way he yearns and desires for me. It’s all too apparent in his trousers, getting more obvious by every thrust of our joining hips.

That’s why he holds my hips in a death grip and stops my movements.

“Stop. I can’t go back with a hard-on.” He breathes out, pain clear in his voice.

“But you already have one. Shouldn’t we take care of that?” I tease as I go to move my hand towards his bulge. But he’s quick to hold my wrist before I get to touch him.

“Not now. We’ll do that later.” His hand leaves my wrist before it moves slowly from my stomachto the outline of my skirt, wakening every nerve on my body with the faint touch of his fingers. “Right now, we’ll take care of this.”

He lowers his hand to my right thigh, raising all the hair on my body before moving upward, towards my inner thighs.

My breathing becomes shallower. His lips are barely an inch away from mine, killing me with anticipation of tasting them again.

But he doesn’t satiate my thirst, instead he moves his lips to the space between my cheek and ear, keeping his lips there. I tilt my head in a little so I can get a whiff of his perfume. I’m addicted to his scent like an alcoholic is addicted to whiskey. Even sitting so close to her and being touched by her all night hasn’t clouded his scent the slightest.

A bitter taste fills my mouth with the returning image of him with her all night, but they all fly out of the window the moment his fingers push my underwear aside and faintly touch my burning spot.

My entire body is burning, and he hasn’t even touched me properly yet. I fist his shirt in my hands, my nails scratching his skin underneath as I move my hips so I can finally feel his touch.

“Please stop torturing me.” I plea with desperation.

A throaty chuckle leaves his mouth.

“You know how I love to torture you like this. But lucky for you, we’re short on time.”

With that, he finally pushed his fingers in, two at the same time.

God, yes.

My mouth shapes an o but no sound leaves me. I stay silent as he starts to press my g-spot almost immediately. I arch into his hand. He works magic with his warm and skilled fingers. His free hand yanks my blouse and bra down. He kisses his way down to my chest and latches onto my nipples. One at a time, he sucks and licks them while I hold onto his hair and press my lips shut.

He adds a third finger, working all his tricks to weaken my knees even more. I can’t help the single moan that escapes my lips. I hold in my breath to keep all the noises in as I come.

My heart is pounding like a war-drum. His fingers don’t leave the spot until after I’m spent, fucking me through the orgasm. I sag against him. My legs give out as he takes my weight and holds me close to him. My breathing is barely even when he straightens my skirt and slips the hair in my face behind my ear with his other hand.

“Let’s get cleaned. We can’t stay longer.”

He holds me up by my elbows and makes sure I can stand steadily.

“But Taehyung, we didn’t-”

“Shh.” He cuts me off with another deep, bone-melting kiss. “Let’s talk later. Tonight, even. When we’re out of here and alone.”

“You can come tonight?” I ask with hope.

He leaves a lingering kiss on my forehead. “I will come tonight. Now let’s get out of here. They’ll notice we’ve been gone for too long.”

With that, I move to the sink to fix my look. My look is not as messy as I thought. My full face of makeup -except for my lips- is on place to cover the flush of my skin. But I don’t know what to do about my flushing neck and ears.

Taehyung washes his hands while I splash cold water on my neck before he holds my hand in his. He picks up my purse from the floor and hands it to me. We leave the ladies room like that, but before anyone can see us, he gives my hand one last squeeze and lets go of it. I miss his hand in mine instantly, yearning for his warmth already.

We walk towards our table together. The first person that notices us is Jia. She sits up and looks over me, then Taehyung.

“Are you okay? You were gone for a while.” She asks me.

I sit between Jia and Jimin again. I feel Jimin looking at me and just noticing I was gone for a while, too.

“I’m fine. I think I should stop drinking now, though.” I respond to Jia, blaming my sickness on drinking too much.

“You didn’t even have that much drink.”

Her attention falls on Taehyung who is sitting on Annie’s seat again, she follows after and sits on his lap. His eyes fly to me almost instantly. Annie is too drunk and busy winning the drinking game to notice anything. And to everyone else on the table, it’s a simple look. No one sees the emotions behind his eyes, but I do. It’s desperation, longing and apology, all at the same time. I give him a faint smile, reassuring him that I’m fine and I understand.

“What about you? Are you okay?” This time, Jia’s question is directed at Taehyung.

He turns to her. “Yeah. There was a line at the bathroom, that’s why it took long.” He says casually.

For one last time, Taehyung looks over to me, making sure that I’m okay. And I am. Annie is not slightly as touchy. Everything she was doing was merely a show, a parade of their perfect relationship. Now that she’s drunk, she doesn’t care about façade. She’s too drunk to even hold herself straight up.

I feel Jia’s eyes traveling between us, so I stop looking at Taehyung immediately and turn to Jimin.

“You good?” he asks me quietly.

He didn’t participate in the drinking game. He looks way more sober than the rest of the table with his drink in front of him.

“Yeah, I’m better.” I smile kindly at him, touched by his thoughtfulness to check on me.

My boss’s “favoritism”, as Taehyung puts it, has made a lot of our coworkers unfriendly and spiteful towards me. Most of them believe that I’m sleeping my way through success while they work hard for nothing.

The only person aside from Jia who has been a true friend to me, is Jimin. We aren’t close friends and we don’t really hang out alone outside our work time, but he is a good friend. And I’ll always appreciate him.

A laugh escapes me when I turn my head in time to watch a drunk and giggling Minji almost fall off of her chair before her fiancé jumps to catch her in time.

But it seems like my eyes have a mind of their own, because even though I know I should stop, they get pulled back to where Taehyung is. But this time, he’s not looking at me. He’s eyes are on Jimin while everyone else’s are on the cute couple.

I don’t see any emotion in his eyes, he’s just looking at him. Watching him. Until he notices my eyes on him. He forgets about Jimin and gives me a small smile. I return it before we both avert our attention back to where everyone else are looking at.

We stay at the bar for a little longer until half the party is too drunk to sit up on their seats. So we decide to call it a night. Everyone leave their chairs and start calling for cabs, since almost everyone drank tonight.

Jia splits a cab with two other friends, and since Taehyung didn’t order any drinks tonight, he’ll be driving Annie home, obviously.

Taehyung offered to give both me and Jia ride to home, since he didn’t want to risk making it look suspicious by just offering me a ride, but Jia turned him down with a chuckle before I got a chance to respond. He tried to insist harder, but he called him silly and told him that I live on theother side of town from him -yes, he knows that- and we’ll just get our own cabs.

I smiled at him with apology, because he tried. But it’s for the best. We can’t do what we want when even one single person we know is around us.

I make sure to wipe my purse clean before I touch it again before I feel someone walking to me. I raise my head and I’m met with Jimin.

“Aren’t you calling a cab?”

“Oh, yeah. I will. I just dropped my purse in the bathroom. I wanted to make sure it’s clean.” I throw the used napkin on the table.

“I can give you a ride if you want.”

I look at him unsure. “I don’t think you should give yourself a ride tonight.”

“Don’t worry.” He chuckles. “My drinks where alcohol-free all night. I don’t drink and drive.”

“Oh.”

“So, you wanna stay here or will you be coming with me?”

“No, I don’t want to an inconvenient for you. It’s easier to call a cab.” I stand up.

“Inconvenient? Are you kidding me?” he scoff. “Look, I’m just offering because I know you live close to my place. And it’s late so it’s getting hard to get a cab. But do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“How do you know where I live?” I ask curious.

“From Jia.”

“Ah.” I nod my head in understanding. “She’s a yapper sometimes, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, sometimes.” He chuckles.

He doesn’t seem to have a problem with driving me home, and he looks completely sober, so I take him on his offer. He’s a good person and it’ll be nice to bond with someone other than Jia from time to time.

We are the last people to walk out of the bar. Aside from Taehyung and Annie and a couple more coworkers waiting for their cabs, everyone has already left. Annie keeps dozing off, not even able to hold her own weight anymore. She leans her weight on Taehyung and he holds her up with an arm around her mid body. She keeps moving around before slipping from his grasp for a short moment. Taehyung moves quick to catch her.

I suck in a sad breath and turn my eyes to Jimin when he talks to me.

“My car is parked a block away. Can you walk in your shoes or should I bring the car here?” He asks out loud.

I can sense Taehyung’s head jerking to our direction. I don’t want to leave him like this. A lot of unexpected things happened tonight and after how we put a pause on everything for the time being, I don’t want him to think wrong about this. I need a moment to talk to him before we part ways.

“Actually, my feet are hurting from my shoes.” I point to my heels. “Would you mind bring the car here?”

“Not at all. Wait here.” With that, he starts to walk away.

I look at his back for few moments before I turn around to face Taehyung. Confusion is written on his face but he doesn’t let out too much or say anything. But I still want to make things clear for him.

I look over his shoulder to a few coworkers left outside the bar and signal for Taehyung to move so we put more distance between us and them. He glances behind his shoulder and follows my lead, still holding Annie up on her feet as we walk away from them a little.

I hesitantly look at Annie, but she’s too drunk to understand anything. So I bring my eyes up to Taehyung.

“He’s giving you a ride home?” He starts before I do.

“Yes, he is. We live close to each other, and I thought it’s safer.”

“Babe, what is the deal with him? Why does he try to get close to you every chance he gets?”

“There’s no deal with him. He is one of the very few real friends I have at work. He’s just being a nice person.” He opens his mouth but I stop him before he can protest. “Please, Taehyung, trust me when I say he has no interest in me romantically.”

He doesn’t look convinced about Jimin’s intentions. But he trusts me, so he seems convinced enough not to continue.

“It’s just that I hate watching you go home with another man, but…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. And a sad knowing look passes between us, because we both know why he didn’t finish that.

Because that’s exactly how I feel every time I have to watch him go home with another woman.

I swallow the lump in my throat and look away.

“I’ll come over tonight after I take care of her and put her to bed. I promise.” He clears his throat and tells me with confidence.

It doesn’t make our whole situation any less painful, but it’s still enough for me. I don’t care if he’s not coming with me, as long as he keeps coming back to me anyway.

I know how I sound, even in my own head. And I hate it too. But if doing things that make me hate my thoughts and actions means I can continue seeing Taehyung and be with him, so be it.

Love is not just blind. It’s stupid and irrational and destructive. And I feel like all of those because of Taehyung. And I won’t trade him for all the intelligence and logic and material in the world.

I nod my head. We have a deal. Two hours tops, and he’s back to me.

I can’t help it when my body slowly leans into him for touch. I come to my senses immediately and get back before my lips touch his on their own record.

But he noticed the short loss of my control. He slowly licks his lips and his eyes fall on my lips in yearning.

Two hours. Only Two hours.

I quickly put space between us when I hear a car honk. I turn to see Jimin is waiting in his car in the driveway. I glance back at Taehyung before I start walking away.

“Drive safe.”

I tell Taehyung before I turn my head and walk to Jimin’s passenger seat and leave the bar.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ᰔ

a/n : there will be a second part to this, maybe even a third part. I'm not sure. But that will be it because this won't be a series. Hope you enjoy. If you have any opinions, I'll be glad to read them. ♡

@calmyourtitts7

kalisburnerphone

Sauvignon Blanc || Choi Seungcheol

Summary: Drunk you has no filter and your husband has always been a weak, weak man when it comes to you. He just didn’t expect your family planning conversation to awaken the caveman part of his brain or a raging breeding kink in both of you.

Warnings: smut!MDNI, established relationship, trying to conceive, pregnancy, soft dom!cheol, domestic fluff, humor, healthy communication, breeding kink awakening, enthusiastic consent, multiple + creative locations and one very smug husband who knocked you up in paradise, married life, baby fever, hormone-induced chaos, obsessed husband!Cheol x obsessed wife!reader, as usual I might be missing something.

W.C: 18.1k

starlight-night0

I loved this one and I don’t even want kids in the near future lol

#choi seungcheol #seventeen scoups #seventeen #svt #scoups smut #scoups x reader #scoups

1uvtae

what do you do when you have just been cheated on? | kim taehyung

♡ word count: 17k (yes it may be less than 20k but this! it’s intense!)

♡ genre: hard smut& fluff!! & crack & some angry angst towards the end (…also very protected sex! stay safe friends!) taehyung is a sweetheart inside a fuckboy’s body and y/n is quite immature for getting back on her cheating boyfriend with taehyung but,,,,girl gotta do what she gotta do!

- kae’s little ‘moral of the story’ tip: just don’t cheat on your s/o. unless it’s kim taehyung. /j

♡ summary/snippet: what do you do when you have found out that your long-term boyfriend has been cheating on you? well, contacting his (may i mention, very, very hot) best friend tae is definitely an option.

♡ kae chit chats: happy taetae day! i was actually on the way of posting another lengthy fic that i had started writing a month or two ago but i think that might not be the best option because i have sadly not edited that fic to the point where i think it is suitable to be posted…so here we are with this fic! i don’t know where my inspiration for this fic came from because no i have literally no experience in almost any of the events that have happened here (except for eating ramen probably) but the thought of it popped right in when i opened a new doc so here we are..! enjoy this very much and i hope you guys are weirdly satisfied with this ending because this fic was definitely a rollercoaster in my opinion…lastly, so much love for my supporters (you guys hee hee) and happy birthday to the best boy in the world, taehyung. - kae

do you want to give me some feedback? request something fun? chit chat with me?!

kae’s recommendation of songs to listen to when you are reading!! (psst, i have immaculate taste btw.)

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU ENTER- (trigger warnings: mentions of cheating and emotional manipulative side character with a hint of moral coercion, semi-violence towards the end & stalking behavior, very intense conversations, and mentions of one small injury and alcohol use but a happy ending !)

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

what do you do when your boyfriend just cheated on you?

when you found out that your boyfriend cheated on you that day, you decided to contact your boyfriend’s best friend.

softiebb

𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙴𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜

╰┈➤ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

One-shot: 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜.

꒰ঌ ໒꒱ wc 910

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

leejihoonownsmyheart

Jealousy, Jealousy (M)

OVA for the Pathetic series because I love you guys soooo much.

Summary:

You and Jeonghan decide to move in together. But the problem with all of that is actually finding a place to move in together.

Warnings: Dubcon as per usual with this series, jealous!yn for once, slightly clueless jeonghan, rough sex, degradation, humiliation kink, slightly public sex, creampie because lowkey between us I think Jeonghan is trying to lock y/n down for real for real, no aftercare but eh, other things? probably

Happy late two year anniversary to the release of Pathetic and my descent to hell for bringing this series to life. I wanted to write a very fun nonsensical random “beach-episode” but the fleeting thought of writing a part where y/n and jeonghan move in together led me to relasing a poll to sneakily figuring out what y’all would prefer and after my preferred idea got completely crushed in the poll you all LOST YOUR CHANCE AT PUBLIC BEACH SEX OKAY? Y/n and Jeonghan could have gotten sand everywhere and had sex on the beach behind a rock or something but you all lost that chance OKAY *distant sobbing*

It was stupid to be jealous.

So, so, so stupid to be jealous.

starlight-night0

One of my all time favorite couples

#seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #jeonghan fanfiction #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x y/n #seventeen smut #svt smut

leejihoonownsmyheart

No Valentine

Summary: Cheol meet cute on Valentine's Day.

starlight-night0

#seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #choi seungcheol #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen #seventeen imagines #seungcheol x reader #seventeen fluff

leejihoonownsmyheart

Air (M)

Summary:

No summary needed. Cheol is your step dad.

Warnings: rough sex, dubcon if you squint, dom!cheol, stepdad!cheol, mentions of religion, rough sex, degradation a smidge, creampie, no condoms, this should maybe be on my other account

Readers discretion advised.

You were in theory- a good person.

A very good person in fact, the kind of person that went out of their way to make someone else smile. The kind of person who would drive across the city to give another friend food when they were sick. The kind of person who would pay for a stranger’s coffee just because.

The kind of person who absolutely did not get turned on by their step father, absolutely fucking not.

#choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen

woncheolisms

next to you. (choi seungcheol x reader)

summary: you think you’re good at keeping your crush on your roommate hidden. you can handle it. but then you wake up to him in bed next to you, arms wrapped around you, and you have no idea how to deal with your suppressed feelings anymore.

word count: 10.8k

warnings: college au, seungcheol is a playboy and the frat kind, reader is a nerd and an introvert, roommate!seungcheol, roommate!jeonghan, angst, fluff, doremiz as bffs, smut, nsfw, oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, possessive tendencies and jealousy.

Early mornings in your apartment are quaint.

You weren’t a morning person for most of your life, but college hath changed you, or whatever. Now you are up in the morning like clockwork, even without an alarm, and even on weekends. It’s a little annoying, especially when you plan to have a lazy Saturday, so you would rather wake up much later. But there’s nothing you can do to fight the biological clock inside you. It is what it is.

Everything is dead silent as you open your door and putter into the kitchen. You’re sure both your roommates are neck deep in slumber, since it was Friday night last night. That always means a party on campus, so the next morning usually entails not waking up until well into the day and with a terrible hangover. It’s only 9am right now. You’re sure they won’t be up until at least noon.

slut4min9yu

Caught || Kim Mingyu x fem!reader

Summary: your relationship with Mingyu is exposed by his members.

Wc: 596

Warnings: none :)

MASTERLIST

He swears it was meant to be chill.

That’s the lie Mingyu tells himself as soon as you show up at his apartment, smiling at him like you always do. Best friends. That’s what you’ve been for years. Comfortable. Easy. The kind of closeness that never raised eyebrows because you fit together so naturally people just assumed.

Until recently.

Until late nights stretched longer. Until his hand started lingering at your waist without him even realising he’d done it.

fromees

Foreign love. | S.coups

Choi seungcheol x foreign reader content: fluff, domestic cheol, slice of life, established relationship Synopsis: cheol as a bf to a foreign reader.

you're three years younger than him, and somehow that's enough for him to be hella protective over you. he never brings it up directly, but it shows when you're out late, asks if you ate properly, or insists on walking you home even when you swear you are fine.

you came to korea for work on an exchange program, originally just temporary. you work as a teacher, counting down the months on your contract at first. you had a plan to leave once it ended. meeting seungcheol quietly rearranged those plans without either of you realizing it.

he's immediatly fascinated by where you're from. not in a surface level way, but genuinely curious. asking about daily life, traditions, food, the way people talk, event the little things you think are boring.

he keeps saying he wants to visit your country one day, but the way he says it sounds more like a promise than a thought. he asks about seasons, places you loved growing up, what the streets look like at night, and where you'd take him first if he ever went with you.

you cook for him alot. at first, its just simple dishes from home, unsure if he would even like them. he does. too much. he always asks or seconds and casually mentions it to the members like its the best meal he's ever had, even ragging when you're not around.

he especially loves when you explain what the dish means to you, when you ate it as a kid, who used to make it for you, why it smells the way it does.

whenever he's tired from schedules, he asks if you can cook "that thing you made last time". he never remembers the name just the way it ade him relax.

you tease him about being dramatic, but he swears your food heals him better than sleep. he'll say it half joking, half serious, as he reaches for another bite.

he likes showing you korean food in return, making it a competition at first, insisting his choice are better, until it turns into something softer.

he aks about your language a lot, tries to repeat the words after you, sometimes he likes to mess up on purpose just to hear you correct him cuz he thinks you sound so hot when you speak your native language.

Even tho your stay in korea was supposed to be temporary, but you found yourself renewing your contract without thinking twice.

starlight-night0

this is no good for my delusion 😔 i need this man in my life ❤️

#scoups x you #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #choi seungcheol #scoups imagines #scoups x reader #choi seungcheol fanfic #choi seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol x you #choi seungcheol imagines

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