soooo Iâve been working and waitingâŚwtf is going on??? - a little energetic check in
soundtrack: https://youtu.be/VgYVUfNMmYU?is=A2RTUe7ayKSBmW0K
cards: king of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, 4 of cups, 9 of swords
The biggest worry on your mind is the physical aspect of things. Financial and emotional security, while reading all I could feel was a pit in my stomach and throat. You may find yourself getting choked up more easily lately. It feels like one more little thing, little set back, would send you off the deep end. For some, not all in this pile, you recently had a project of yours rejected or something you were excited about creating didn't work out. Know that the greatest works are often commercial failures at first. Know why? Because they were ahead of their time. For something or someone to create a legacy and gain cult following, it must first go through the underground stage. It will inevitably be "unearthed" years later as a discovered masterpiece. You've been promised over and over, probably in posts just like these that your abundance, wealth, and fame is coming. It's right around the corner. When in reality it's not. It's already here. The steps that you are taking every day, no matter how unimportant they feel, will be moments you look back on years later with recognition that this was when you really started changing. I think your biggest fear is failure. That somehow, even after all these signs and confirmations, you're delusional, not special. Every time your progress deviates from the linear path you go back to that mental place of hopelessness and suffering. You can't expect change this big without re-wiring the mental shortcuts you rely on most. It's easier for us to retreat to that hole of despair, to convince ourselves that the world wants us to suffer, than to admit suffering is a choice. And I know those words cut deep, but I also know if this message is for you you've already accepted this reality. You know you need to find peace in uncertainty, value in struggle, and hope without reason. Genuine content for your situation exactly as it is, and gratitude for the journey, no matter how long, is how you shatter the chains binding you to reality, and therefore inviting unreal material outcomes into your life. It's illogical to not be stressed when you have rent due and no way to pay it, in the same way it's illogical to randomly inherit a million dollar mansion. It's illogical for me to promise change or a miracle, but I'm still doing it. Logic is the enemy of faith. It is what keeps us following invisible rules. We unknowingly manifest the reality we expect. You CAN do something with the resources in front of you right now. You are waiting for a change that has already occured. And now, the only defense the enemy has against you receiving your abundance, is to tell you it's not already here. The conditions always have to be just right, you need to have a certain drive, put out a certain level of quality, or start a certain way. But you don't. You just have to do. You could literally blindly stumble down a hill right now and spirit would guide your feet into a gold mine. Stop trying to logic out and put all the steps together for a plan that is not at all based in reality. The outcome has been decided, so stop finding reasons to stall. Spirit is watching you stumble through a dark room trying to find a lightswitch when all you need is to feel for their hand. It's time to feel your way through life. Know with certainty that what is meant for you will never miss you. The only thing that should concern you is that which fills you with life. Prioritize what brings you joy, especially if it contradicts with "real" life.
themes: go off the deep end, says who?, refusing to let past pain deter you, laughing at the devil's tricks, excessive music and dancing, saying no with your full chest, risk, life as one big sitcom (at this point it's almost comical), chronic mercury retrograde, patience, creating even if it is objectively bad, looking at every negeative thing in life & saying thank you for allowing me to experience such a diverse range of joy, sudden strike of clarity, everything suddenly having a yellow/white glow, half finished projects everywhere, deadline? what's that?, speaking non formally with spirit guides, share experiences online (they'll love you more than you expect), the tower card (except it never stops), the beauty of votality and constant change, learn to ride the wave
soundtrack: https://youtu.be/v1aS6I5mm_w?is=ggZXPxDpYSn3_Ild
cards: 7 of swords (reversed), 2 of pentacles, 8 of wands (reversed), 4 of wands, the hierophant, strength
Restlessness. Boredom. Sure things are okay right now, but life's a giant seesaw, and you know that pile 2. It's time to fall back in love with life. The universe knows the ways you were wronged. They saw every action, thought, and intention held against you. They see the arguments you weren't allowed to win, the sacrifices you've made, and the grudges you've tried to move past. It may feel a little like constantly trying to get back to yourself pile 2. The Universe sees the way you get broken down every day, the tests you face, and the way you choose to build yourself up again, time after time. You have been promised justice. Sure material stability would help but what you truly crave is peace. Waking up in the morning with a smile on your face and a steady heartbeat. You crave a simpler life, and you're getting it. Your balance is impeccable. Most people wouldn't be able to juggle all that and still be a lovable person at the end. Slow down pile 2. I did feel it's important to talk to you directly, that's how your guides want to talk to you. They want put their hand on your shoulder and let you feel every ounce of love that pours from them to you. You are their earth angel. Make home your paradise. Setting up a special spot, maybe a cozy corner or an altar, even a place outside or in your mind that can be your own little bubble. The world is constantly swirling around you and your natural intuitive/empathetic abilities leave you drained. Create your own shield, energy cleansing is especially helpful right now. You are an amazing and strong person. This negativity and despair in your heart is not entirely your own. You ache for the earth, for those that still have trials to undergo. You don't need to fix anything. Your urge to make a difference is amazing but always tend to yourself first. You show up as the queen of pentacles in my mind. Your energy needs to be protected, and you are meant to have a protector, a partner to fill your needs so you can serve others. If this person is already in your life then great, lean on them and focus on household harmony above everything. Don't let any toxicity from the material world leak into your relationship. If not, you'll meet this person soon, and they are sent straight from heaven. Right now is a time of rest because you have a big assignment coming up. You have been taught one lesson after the next, and it's time to graduate and become a teacher yourself. This could mean dedicating yourself to service, spirituality, parenthood, homemaking, advocacy, art, even just being an example that kind people still exist. Whatever it is, your community will crown you for it. You are an inspiration. So get yourself right, and get to work.
themes: god's favorite, not letting anyone rush you, self care era, reading, spiritual study, marriage, awards, job offers, saying no to anything that drains you, saying yes to only what excites you, cutting off the leaches for good, finally seeing through their mask, pity is not the way to your heart, feeling empathy not guilt, pink, talking to animals, real love entering your life, deep cleaning, hermit but happy, literally just giggling when you remember how amazing you are, why accept conditional love when the unconditional version flows freely around you, hammocks, laying under a tree, getting back to simplicity, finding joy in patience, knowing this moment will never be here again, and that a lifetime of surprises await you
crystals: citrine and malachite
soundtrack: https://youtu.be/g1czfju6fHg?is=7HUQmWRqeb_62RiX
cards: king of swords, 3 of pentacles, knight of pentacles
I want to keep this message short because I get the feeling you're some busy people. It's honestly probably been years of you guys toiling away, but not exclusively for yourselves. You may have a figurative or literal village to feed. People, structures, or environments that you feel would fall apart if you stopped doing your job for even a day. It's admirable that you're able to dedicate yourself to this extent but, is it really getting you anywhere? You probably genuinely believe furthering others and showing up for them is more important than honoring yourself. Which feels like duh, common sense, but trust me many others are incapable of thinking from that headspace. You need help. You are spread so entirely thin both energetically and physical, you know it's only a matter of time until something gives. The help is coming. That project or dream you've always wanted to start but somehow never had the time will be moved forward through the meeting of people. Expect to find new friends or a community that drives you toward fulfilling your passions, even if they don't make sense financially. I say that because you're probably under a lot of strain, and you have been for a while, so it's impossible to justify the expenses you need to make your dream come true. Somehow, you'll able to buy those supplies, take that trip, sign up for that class. When you decide to mentally move away from this savior âif I don't do it no one else will," attitude, the routes will simply start revealing themselves. Be honest with yourself, has it become easy to live life on hard mode? Do you naturally turn away from things that seem suspiciously easy or enjoyable? Yes, you are more competent than most, but if you're always swooping in to save them they get complacent and you get drained. You don't have to win every mental battle or solve every "problem" that presents itself. We choose what energy to engage with in this life. You are allowed to take the easy way out. Give yourself some room to breathe and you'll find a whole new direction to put your energy in.
themes: does the image others hold of you really matter? If they were in your shoes, would they do the same?, following your dreams, travel, sabbatical, time off work/job change, do not disturb, rediscovering music, let them fend for themselves, jewelry, new social media, knitting, joining a club, realizing life happens and it's almost never your fault, recognizing your stubbornness, exotic fruits, purposely underachieving, normalizing bare minimum (because seriously, who are you living for?), reaching max level in the life matrix and maybe it's not so great, delight in simplicity
Pile 4: Animal Guides Tarot
crystals: sodalite and apatite
soundtrack: https://youtu.be/SlqkCMq4kyo?is=wcvrPXxxl0gMmtsk
cards: king of pentacles, 7 of cups (reversed), 2 of pentacles
The main thing that came through is to stop overthinking. Slow down, get your head out of the clouds, and come back down to earth. Your abundance is coming. It is already assured that you'll have the material wealth and stability you've been chasing for so long. You may be spending too much time comparing yourself to others. Ask yourself what you really want. Are you chasing goals that will make you more like everyone else around you? Are you avoiding taking certain goals steps forward because you're too busy trying to do things the "right" way or have circumstances be perfect before you begin? Comparing yourself to family members and close friends is significant for most of you. Maybe you feel you have big shoes to fill. Whether the pressure placed on you is real and external more imagined and internal, it still affects you in the like same ways. Constantly feeling inadequate, like an imposter or actor trying to play a role. Stop balancing what you "should" be doing with what you want to do. Right now, you have so many conflicting obligations your spirit body is totally fried. You may feel you have to make a choice between certain people and comittments and actual goals of yours. Deep down you know what's truly Important to you. You know what things you do because you feel you have to and what things you simply can't give up or stop thinking about because they truly excite you. You do not need to be like anyone else. The world does not need more people like your siblings, parents, friends, or coworkers. It needs you. There is a reason something keeps catching your eye, keeps pulling you back in even when it's taken the back burner in your life for a while. The world is trying to stop and distract you from pursuing this because once you do, you're unstopable. You're going to get more opportunities to showcase whatever this hobby or passion is. It may all seem to move a little fast for you so be ready for that. The universe is just so incredibly excited for you. Like a parent waiting to see their kid's face on Christmas morning after a long season of secret gift buying. They cannot wait to show you what they have in store. I'm hearing you're going to win an award or business deal, maybe a scholarship, but you'll get some kind of public recognition for something you do, even as a beginner. Others, maybe some haters, are going to be shocked it worked "so easily" for you. But we both know this was a long time in the making. Even if you didn't take concrete steps toward this goal in the past you have better knowledge, understanding, and skill in the field than most do after a lifetime of study. You can't help that. So don't feel bad when things seem too good to be true. You are meant to be here to do this, and to be this admired for it. Forge ahead relentlessly with whatever is calling you, and release all obligations that try and convince you you canât.
themes: waking up, choices, feeling energetically pulled in two directions, family business and expectations, having life decided for you, horses, entering competitions and showcases, many siblings, familial hierarchy, favoritism, "unconditional" love except there's conditions, at a crossroads, feeling wired or hopped up on energy, racing thoughts with no outlet, black sheep, ribbons, tangled in with a web
crystal: strawberry quartz
soundtrack: https://youtu.be/Eu5W7P5lSSY?is=Mp7lQzJLbAVVY0B8
cards: 4 of swords, 2 of cups, 9 of wands, 4 of wands (reversed), the hierophant, 5 of wands (reversed)
You're about to enter your lover era. And not in the fake, superficial, back and forth way you've experienced in the past. Many of you, not all, but many in this pile have experienced one false comittment after the next. The person who seems to be head over heels for you until one day things get real and all the sudden it's crickets. You may have even felt ready to take it to the next level with someone, possibly even marriage, only to realize they never felt the same way you did. For some of you this partner expected full domestic servitude. They wanted you to shut up and play your role, whether that was traditional feminine or masculine responsibilities. They cared more about how you two looked together and how others perceived your relationship than the actual health of it. They saw being with you as checking off a box in life, like getting a job, instead of the privilege having you really is. I think you're tired of trying to make it work with people who make you sacrifice aspects of yourself you love. You're tired of having to change to fit whatever ideal image your partner has in mind. You may feel like the type of love you want has been lost in this world. Now it's all about the physical aspect and less soul connection. Know that real love is coming your way. The romeo and juliet ride or die kinda love. For a lot of you it'll come in a way you don't expect. Maybe there's that person in your life you've always felt drawn back to but never actually considered being with. Or youâll meet someone who's the total opposite of your type, maybe a bit of a plain jane, boring or hard to read at first. Be open to love in places you wouldn't normally look. We both know that looking for the same kind of people in the same places you have in the past is just gonna end in the same result. Some of you have just had a breakup or can feel one coming. The pain from this heartbreak is fertilizer for your next actually loving relationship. They are someone who wants to take you away from the chaos and apathy that runs rampant all over the world. They will present as safety, a cool drink of water in the middle of a wildfire. Some of you struggle with boredom and wanting to chase what's exciting, shiny, and new instead of what's good for you. Let's be honest, a few of you, not all, are addicted to drama. You love the chase, the butterflies, the high of instant and intense connection. But you're tired of the crushing disappointment that always seems to follow. It's time to find balance and choose peace in your love life. Refuse to engage in ego battles and don't indulge those that bring out the worst in you. For anyone who needs to hear this, no it is not normal to feel like you're fighting for your life just to keep a relationship going every day. It needs to be built on a smooth, hard surface, not a swinging seesaw.
themes: self care, stable self identity, refusing to change, thank u next, waiting for the right one, being happily single, reconsidering that friendship, whoâs been a source of stability in your life? pursue that, deviating from your "type," taking things slow, letting life become "boring"
Pile 6: Nicoletta Ceccoli Tarot
soundtrack: https://youtu.be/o2_jQNf2-7o?is=jlM42gqkQaG9h_bO
cards: knight of swords (reversed), 3 of pentacles, the star, 7 of wands, page of swords, 5 of cups
This reading cuts a little deep. Uncertainty may seem to be the theme of your life right now, and it has been for a while. You may have learned from a young age that there was something wrong with the way you think. You have this sort of mystic, misunderstood, Alice in wonderland sort of quality to you. Maybe you were frequently. punished as a child, or you felt like you never really "got" it. No matter how hard you tried you could never just seemlessly blend with what you felt was expected of you. This obviously left a huge wound, and may have left you believing the only thing you could cling to was yourself. Even then, you may have learned the only time you could truly be yourself was in your mind. It's like part of your soul knew you were special but that it had to lay dormant until you were in the right environment. Now you may struggle with speaking your mind. Despite knowing a lot about everything, you find yourself listening more than speaking. You have absolutely amazing ideas that get interrupted by that pesky voice in your head that whispers everyone will hate it and then you'll be on the outskirts again. This isn't real. It's lower vibrational energy trying to stop you from becoming the masterpiece that you are. You are meant to be in the spotlight, admired, a muse. And you don't get that by playing safe and being like everyone else. You know you're other-worldly, embody it. You may have felt trapped in the past. Like you were being forced to live in the wrong place at the wrong time. You may feel for everyone's sake you just have to shut up and play the part given to you. For some of you I'm getting you feel like you're on display? Like the people in your life enjoy parading around your carcass (aka your physical beauty or achievements), but not the dynamic living parts of you. You may feel you have an image to uphold. This message serves as a sign you've begun to break away from that. You're done being that scared little kid trapped in your mind. Now is time to finally heal. Not just move on enough so that you can meet society's definition of functioning, but actually heal and learn to love the life you've lived and the person it's made you. It's time to out pull all those skeletons out of the closet. Truly see yourself without immediately comparing it to anyone else. Take pride in your scars. They still ache sometimes, but they are what gives you depth, and your soul has been waiting for you to incarnate in this life for a long time. You're healing wounds that have repeated one generation after the next, that's why it's so hard and long. Allow your emotional depth to carry you to a new way of seeing the world. It's time to read that book, take that retreat, dive into that passion. I'm not going to say this healing is going to come easily. It's hard work and it's going to be an ongoing process. But remember, you don't have to be healed to be ready to step into the spotlight. Others will see the rawness of your pain and it will move them in ways no one else could. The most important thing is authenticity. Show up as you are, not who you want to be or who you think you should be. Self doubt is a pit that never seems to end. But it will heal once you decide to ignore it and take the risk anyway. Reasoning and replaying things in your mind only makes the pit deeper. Ignoring the bad thoughts and seeing tangible outcomes proves that self doubt wrong. I know you're scared of failure, rejection, and judgment, but the only way out is through.
themes: trendsetting (you're about 5 years ahead of your time), does a diagnosis really do anything?, embracing the fact your identity is fluid, phone on DnD, social media cleanse, facing pain head on, pretending you're a princess in a faraway castle (except you rescue yourself by simply walking downstairs), swallowing hard pills, having those conversations, abandoning to-do lists and hourly planners, reading tarot, going to the library and picking the first book that calls to you, ignoring those pesky mean voices
