BAILEY

All I ever do is vibe, dude

[superduperkas]

[orpheusilver]

anybody else just have the weirdest fucking relationship with the concept of god like. yes god is real. no i don't believe in him. the universe is on a prebuilt track and we cannot get off this ride. free will is an illusion. every decision you make changes every life you touch. there's no afterlife, only nonexistence. hell is real and i can list 10 people i know personally who are going there. god is in every tree and animal and blade of grass and person and every word that was spoken is spoken and will ever be spoken. when i die scatter my ashes where god can't reach me. god is a semi-permeable membrane. i am going to vandalize a church. y'know?

[mysharona1987]

[randalfthegray]

This? An utterly scorching take.

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

help girl i'm lengthwise in the suez canal

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

girl help i'm blocking international trade

[moveslikekeithrichards]

when like 3 people within 50 feet of each other see an animal & ur all like “oh yo an animal” thats what being a human is all about

[moveslikekeithrichards]

this is the human experience

[bodyglitter]

EVERYTHING. IS SEX. EXCEPT SEX. WHICH IS POWER. YOU KNOW POWER. IS JUST SEX. NOW ASK YOURSELF WHOS SCREWING YOU!

[wizardpotions]

[anxietyproblem]

[plutos-pocket-universe-deactiva]

cop: you're recieving a ticket for having three people on a motorcyle

dot: shit.

toni: wait, did you say three?

cop: yeah?

rachel: OH MY GOD, LEAH FELL OFF-

[plutos-pocket-universe-deactiva]

rachel: you can control white people by giving them cheese

dot: okay but cheese is so good tho

toni: oh shit we caught one

[thewildsgonewrong]

Dot, rummaging through the First-Aid kit: WHY IS IT FILLED WITH KRAFT CHEESE SLICES

Fatin, bleeding out: it wAS FUNNY AT THE TIME

[moronicgood]

Unsinkable 8 as things I do (often):

Toni: sleeping in jeans

Leah: volunteering to play music and immediatly regretting it

Dot: Eating lemons like oranges because I simply don’t understand why people don’t do that

Fatin: mispronouncing words to annoy my mom

Shelby: saying “im sure they heard you” when my gf screams bc of road rage

Martha: crying when fast food places have paper straws

Rachel: fake falling every time someone tells me to be careful

Nora: reading aloud rap lyrics like I’m a politician giving a speech

[sawasawako-archived]

thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love

[meduseld]

“Eurydice, dying now a second time, uttered no complaint against her husband. What was there to complain of, but that she had been loved?” ― Ovid, Metamorphoses

[dean-winchesters-clit]

This is true no matter the version you're reading.

1. Eurydice trips and Orpheus turns to help her because he loves her.

2. Orpheus cannot hear Eurydice behind him, and fearing that he's been tricked, turns to make sure she's there.

3. Orpheus makes it out of the Underworld, and so full of love and excitement to be with Eurydice, turns to embrace her, forgetting that they both need to be out of the Underworld.

No matter what happens in the story, Orpheus loses Eurydice because his love for her compels him to look.

[ghastly-parody]

blah blah blah…all of these personal questions…what i wanna know is what you put as your name on u-quizzes 

[viennabybillyjoel-deactivated20]

good morning ladies let’s get violent

[dykecas]

jojo siwa should replace ellen

[3798tadpole]

hey so what the fuck was this about

[arrivisting]

are these not, basically, wedding vows