Cajun @starrynight1981 - Tumblr Blog

Here's how it will go.

If you message me, anon or not, and ask me stupid fucking questions, and things that make me uncomfortable, that's an immediate block for me.

I will give no one the right to make this a bad space for me.

Okay, you know how you hear those stories about people who find out they have family they never knew about because of Ancestry? I'm not talking about distant relatives or being related to someone famous. I'm talking about a biological father that they didn't know about, or a half sibling, or a half niece...

Yeah, I became that person about 48 hours ago. A half niece contacted me on Ancestry and one picture I had of her dad when he was young that was given to me by my bio dad 14 years ago solved the mystery.

I had a half brother, he died by suicide when he was 29. Bio dad told me 14 years ago about having a half brother that died and said he had met his young daughter. That daughter was the one who contacted me.

He spoke of this supposed half brother once. That was it. Once in 14 years. I didn't even remember his name. I didn't even know if he was telling the truth or if someone had lied to him. But for some reason I held onto that one picture he sent me.

I have 3 nieces, a nephew, and 2 great nephews.

It was a complete shock for all of us. I think more for them than me. My brothers mom did a great job at keeping that secret.

So many emotions and a lot of tears for a lot of different reasons.

So, I saw the Rheumatologist and that was a complete waste of time. He did nothing. Nothing. He blamed everything on my vitamin D being low. He said my ANA was probably a false positive because I was taking Humira. Yes, that particular drugs can cause a false positive ANA. However, I have been off that drug for over two and a half years! Then said, if I did habe something like Lupus it would be difficult to diagnose because I'm already on autoimmune medication. Umm, okay..then what?

He also blamed my painful stiff joints on my age. I turned 44 yesterday! I don't think being woken up in the middle of the night due to stiffness and joint pain is normal or due to my age!

The positive anti-RNP never even brought it up.

Then he said my symptoms could have been due to different types of viruses that I had to request him test me for because he wasn't even going to test me for them! Probably because he knew as well as I did that they would all be negative.

I've been on high doses of vitamin d for a month now with zero improvement and my symptoms only getting worse. I will he seeing my hematologist on Tuesday and hopefully she can refer me to a Rheumatologist that will actually fucking listen to me.

sonsofadam

Turntable

I finally watched Wicked. I've been putting it off because I knew it would be a super emotional film for me. It was, and I loved ever second of it. An obsession might be taking shape here. I just...♥️♥️♥️♥️

I got a call from a Rheumatologist office today. They said they could see me tomorrow or after the new year.

So, tomorrow I get to see the Rheumatologist and maybe start the journey on finding out why my ANA and anti-RNP are both positive.

I know there's something wrong. I've been trying to ignore it or make up excuses for a couple of months now.

loveagemoondream

dailysnoopy

autumntoken

the september files 🍁🌰

The goal today is to not cry. Doesn't seem like a lot, but it is for me right now.

mylittlevintageworld

All I want to do today is sleep. I don't know if it's because of the possible new autoimmune disease I may have or if I'm just sad.

It's probably both.

fibro-memes

When you have an autoimmune disease, genetic high cholesterol, depression, a rare blood disease, and low vitamin D....🤦‍♀️

This sweet girl, my Daisy. She has hardly left my side today as I cried and tried to hold myself together.

triskeleaficionado

celebrateeachnewday

Artist Jane Crowther

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