FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF SENTENCE STARTERS
“you wanna get married? today?”
“i’m serious.”
“i... i’m not getting married.”
“well, no, besides being too young, having no place to live, you feeling a little awkward about being the only cheerleader with a husband, gimme one good reason why not?”
“he loves the car. he hates his wife.”
“can we please get the hell out of here? this place gives me the creeps.”
“why don’t you take the kids and go back to the clubhouse?”
“are you suggesting that i’m not who i say i am?”
“i’m suggesting you leave before i have to get snooty.”
“this’ll be a hoot.”
“you touch me i yell ‘rat’.”
“i weep for the future.”
“(name), please. you’ve gone too far. you’re gonna get busted.”
“a) you can never go too far. b) if i’m gonna get busted it is not gonna be by a guy like that.”
“(name), dear friend, you thought we wouldn’t have any fun. shame on you.”
“why should he get to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants?”
“what makes him so goddamn special?”
“i used to think that my family was the only one that had weirdness in it.”
“his/her/their home life is really twisted.”
“he’s the only guy i know who feels better when he’s sick.”
“if i had to live in that house i’d probably pray for disease, too.”
“we’re pinched for sure.”
“no way, (name). only the meek get pinched. the bold survive.”
“let’s surrender.”
“the game is up. your ass is mine.”
“think i broke my thumb.”
“do you realize if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym?”
“i hate him.”
“i’m afraid that in my weakened condition i could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences.”
“i’m sorry, i mean, i know you don’t care, but it does mean my ass.”
“you think i don’t care?”
“i know you don’t care.”
“oh, that hurts, (name).”
“he’s licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.”
“we’d like to play a little tune for you. it’s one of my personal favorites and i’d like to dedicate to a young man who doesn’t think he’s seen anything good today.”
“(name)! get off of the float!”
“you know, as long as i’ve known him everything works for him. there’s nothing he can’t handle. i can’t handle anything.”
“i can’t handle anything.”
“(name) can do anything.”
“you’re crazy!”
“what do you think (name) is going to do?”
“you’re pyschotic! you are, man. you’re out of your goddamned mind. i can’t believe you did that.”
“who would believe that i was in a parade? who the hell am i?”
“there is an intruder, male, caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird, in my kitchen.”
“i’m in danger, okay? i am very cute. i am very alone and i’m very protective of my body.”
“i need help!”
“here’s where (name) goes berserk.”
[one long sustained scream]
“i think (name) might have blown a microchip or two.”
“(name) has never been in love. at least no one’s ever been in love with him.”
“you can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass.”
“sooner or later everybody goes to the zoo.”
“(first name + last name), you’re my hero.”
“why don’t you go home?”
“why don’t you put your thumb up your butt?”
“i realized it was ridiculous. being afraid, worrying about everything, wishing i was dead, all that shit. i’m tired of it.”
“it’s the best day of my life.”
“did you see me change out of my clothes by the jacuzzi?”
“i’m bullshit.”
“i put up with everything.”
“my old man pushes me around. i never say anything.”
“well, he’s not the problem. i’m the problem.”
“who do you love? who do you love?”
“i’m just tired of being afraid.”
“you killed the car.”
“we’ll wait for your father to come home and when he gets here i’ll tell him that i did it. he hates me anyway.”
“he’s gonna marry me.”
“life moves pretty fast. if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
