MarsStar

he/him

[starsonmars22]

Absolutely not ok but posting here cuz I don't want my friends to worry 🤪

[starsonmars22]

Life: minor inconvenience

My brain: ☆ve

[starsonmars22]

I wish alcøhøl didn't have calories

[starsonmars22]

Just wanna be loved like I love

[starsonmars22]

amazing news!!

GUYS i submitted my background check on Monday for my name change and I got some mail yesterday. My name change has been approved by the court!!! My dead name is gone!

[starsonmars22]

excited!

i ordered my first stp and it shipped today. I'm super excited to be able to feel comfortable in the men's restroom! hopefully I'm able to use it properly, I know it'll take some practice. if anyone has tips I'd love to hear them!

[starsonmars22]

My fears have come true. I was always worried that once I start testosterone my dysphoria would get worse (due to the higher chance of passing.) Now that I've had a small voice drop, sometimes people call me sir and that feels amazing. The only thing is, it hurts a lot more to be called miss now. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. My chest dysphoria is worse because if it weren't for these DDD cup boobs, I might actually stand a chance. The need for top surgery is so much higher now but I'm still not any closer to my goal. Also being mid-transition in this political climate makes me feel so unsafe. If anyone thought for a second about why I "seem off" they would be able to clock me. I live in a red state. I hope I find a way to get surgery soon or I dont know what will happen

[starsonmars22]

Had my appointment to check my t levels and everything looks good, so no adjustments needed. Im 14 weeks on now and still feeling pretty good other than my throat. Im not sure if im getting sick or if this is normal pain associated with the voice changes but hopefully it passes soon. Its quite uncomfy haha

[starsonmars22]

T update

Only a few days until I'm 2 months on testosterone! I am so grateful that I was finally able to do this. I'm so much happier now than I've been in a while. I've noticed my voice is starting to drop and my peach fuzz is all turning brown. You can only see it in the sunlight, but I have a little peach fuzz beard, and I'm so happy about it lol. Here's hoping I'm able to get my dose upped to full at the end of Jan since I'm only on a half dose right now.

[starsonmars22]

GUYS i have my first chin hair. its only been 6 weeks that is so bomb

[starsonmars22]

i start testosterone tomorrow!!

[starsonmars22]

Im getting so impatient tbh

[starsonmars22]

Good afternoon friends. Do you ever post on reddit? Seems like every single person on there thinks they know way more than you about everything. Its such an incredibly toxic environment and I keep forgetting why I never use it. Apparently 100s of strangers on the internet know that I actually eat way more than I say I do, and that's why I'm having trouble with weight loss. Because overeating is obviously the ONLY reason anyone would be overweight, right? FFS its so infuriating. I just want someone to hear me.

[starsonmars22]

Hard Day

Today has been rough. I felt constantly in a hurry and a lot of things didn't go as planned which really messes me up. Sorry to treat you as my diary but I'm trying to get more in tune with myself to improve my mental health. I'm becoming sick of getting called "ma'am" and "miss" everywhere I go. I'm a guy. I know I can't expect everyone to know that, but explaining myself to everyone that misgenders me is not worth the time and ache it'll take. I can't figure out what it is about me that reads as female. I dress very masc, I bind my chest, I have short hair. How are they comfortable assuming I'm a woman? Is it harmless or is it intentional? I guess I'll never know. Thanks to anyone who made it this far; I hope you have a better day!