you never learn

izzy | 22 | she/her | bi -occasionally nsfw!- a side blog that's also a main blog? mostly hockey + check please! because I have fallen down the rabbit hole and become a true minnesotan. or something.

[guerrillatech]

"Hey so it turns out that the people of earth accidentally did a global experiment to see if every individual could course correct climate change through mass personal change of habits, and it turns out, no! We can't! It was massive corporate activity all along!"

[azcrowleyfell]

Wow! Fascinating!

[juilletdeux]

Paolo Sebastian | Fall/Winter 2018 Couture

[9116]

[fmanime]

i think edward elric entire military experience can be summarized as john mulaney’s “horse loose in the hospital” bit

[fmanime]

there is a CHILD ALCHEMIST LOOSE IN THE STATE MILITARY!

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE CHILD IS GOING TO DO, LEAST OF ALL THE CHILD!

HE’S NEVER BEEN IN THE MILITARY BEFORE!

[ink7blot]

They interviewed a man who once saw a baby in a restaurant.

WE’VE ALL SEEN A BABY IN A RESTAURANT!!!

THIS IS A CHILD. LOOSE IN THE MILITARY.

[comrade-hozier]

@dalethesjtoddler

[cappucino-commie]

And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the child, and then, 5 miles under the capital city, an evil homunculus was like, “I have a huge transmutation circle and I’m going to kill everyone to become god!” And before we could say anything, the child was like, “If you even fucking look at Amestris, I will punch you to death with my fists. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can take my unresolved daddy issues out on you, I’m so fucking crazy.”

[captainlordauditor]

This post was written by Roy Mustang

[ebonyheartnet]

Sometimes it’s not a bad thing, just surprising. Like, “Today the child did alchemy without a transmutation circle,” and everyone is like, “Huh, I didn’t know he could do that.”

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the child at all. Those are the days when everyone is like “I think the child has finally calmed down,” and then the child is like “I just uncovered a government conspiracy. I went in that secret lab and snuck in there with my tiny body. I have a tiny body, but don’t you tell me that, or I’ll fuck you up,” and you’re like “That’s what I thought you’d say, you tiny fucking child.”

And then for a second we’re like “Maybe the government will fire the child,” and the child is like “I have dismantled the government.”

[burntreads]

And its like, I didn’t know he could do that, that shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the child is.

[marichromatic]

Some people are like “There should NOT be a child in the military”

And I’m like “Well WE’RE WELL PAST THAT”

Some others are like “If there’s a child in the military, then I can do human transmutation with my daughter!”

And we’re like “Well those two things DON’T ADD UP AT ALL!”

[bluef00t]

“you talk like a smart/pretentious person” actually I just forget simple words constantly and am forced to rummage through my brain for the nearest synonym, which is usually twice as long and needlessly specific

[peachdoxie]

#see also: the exact feeling im trying to convey with my sentences doesnt get across the same way without that specific word

[gabelandeskog]

penguins @ lightning | 10.23.19

[maljic]

Seguin vs Crosby

[diamondguls]

nature is cruel to baby adelies when they molting cause these little mans are FUCKIN RUINED look at them

wig

[micaxiii]

Bob Ross

[sans--seraph]

Somebody had to make sure humans weren’t the stupidest looking critter around during puberty, and adelies answered the call

[macwinnon]

do you ever uhhhhhh make a mistake? you can blame @nhlbarrie for this one 

[knifeshoeoreofight]

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

TW: Discussion of animal/human abuse, death, and slavery as it applies to the Russian serf/feudal system

Sidney’s memories of the ride home from the ball are hazy the next day, but he remembers enough to blush at the speculative look Zhenya gives him across the breakfast table the following day. Well, luncheon table, perhaps, as they both sleep until noon after such a late night. 

Keep reading

[sidmalkin]

“Truthfully, I have never been one to seek out what is being written and said in the media  -  good or bad. I’m pretty motivated as it is without needing extra fuel for the fire. The most diehard fan or angry columnist doesn’t expect more out of me than I do of myself. No matter how much pressure anyone else heaps upon me, I still put more pressure on myself.” (x)

[strandbooks]

[coffee-at-annies]

The Pens Tonight: Sid is out so while he’s gone we’re gonna take a bunch of penalties.

Sully: Why?!?

The Pens: He’s like 85% of our impulse control.

[darthtulip]

bb!Crosby on making it into the big leagues someday (X)

[frankarnstein]

Keira Knightley 20 January 2018

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

Does anyone else remember the story about that poor lesbian who came out to her mother and her mother cried and said “it’s all that damn Keira Knightley’s fault, I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch pride and prejudice as a child” because I’m really feeling that now

[profusedinmelancholy]

Yes

[profusedinmelancholy]

Bonus

[profusedinmelancholy]

I’m screaming

[profusedinmelancholy]

More

[queen-haiz]

[vanish-cherry-deactivated202509]

this post is everything i need in life

[scumfuckus]

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[scumfuckus]

xm gxxng tx sxccxßfxlly fxck þx xnglxßh lxngxxgx bxyxnd sxlvxtxxn

[kidrat]

jxkxes xn yxx x rxxd hxmxstxck

[haletheprince-deactivated202208]

What the fuck is this

[lynati]

If you let your eyes glaze over ever so slightly, you can read it.

[crosdashian]

I can’t believe Crosby has been wearing the same hat since 2013 and we just let him