killin the hunger pains
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@starvingwaterbod
killin the hunger pains
just keep gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining and gaining
I’m alone in this world and I want to die
ooooooof fantasizing about coming into a bunch of money out of nowhere. I wouldn’t use it for college as horribly stupid as that is; instead, I’d immediately get a tummy tuck. THEN I could be pretty
Not that anyone follows me or anything, but still... and it’s bc:
I was admitted to the psych ward for a few weeks and it messed up all my progress. For one: they forced me to eat all my food, and it got me in the habit of having full meals. I got used to not being hungry. For another: I had nothing to look forward to in there except meals. They proved that time was passing and I would just wait for the next one. I started to enjoy eating again.
When I got out, I was like, ‘eds are low vibrational, I’m done, I’m over it, it’s childish.’ And then I ate as I pleased. I even ate fast food. Then, a few weeks ago, the itch to be thin came back, but for some reason, I had no control anymore. I wanted to get back into it, but it wasn’t happening.
Then, yesterday, I ended up eating about 3.5k calories. I woke up today wanting to fucking die. And I decided, that’s it. I have to stop. I need to lose weight. I weighed myself, and I’ve gained back ten pounds. I’m furious with myself for ruining my hard earned progress, but I’m so so so grateful I didn’t do more damage. 10lbs / 60lbs isn’t too catastrophic. If I work hard and get back in the right (wrong) headspace, I’ll be back on track.
Motivation:
My stomach is disgusting. It hangs past my hips like a fucking 50 yr old woman’s. It’s wrinkly and saggy bc of my weight loss and because I ate like a pig for all my formative years. I despise myself. I’d give ANYTHING for a tummy tuck. ABYTHING.
My arms are forming goddamn bingo wings.
My legs are massive
My chin is doubling
My cheeks are rounding
I’m hideous.
In a few months I’m going to Europe. How am I supposed to have fun if I look like this? How?
So I need to change. And this is step 1
Went away for a while
So
Ballerina thinspo for anon :)
Brock SS17
More here ⭐️
More here ⭐️
Here’s what I’m doing:
It’s SAFER, EASIER, and PERMANENT, and it’s effective as long as you pay attention and keep at it
RULES:
I eat. sometimes. And sometimes I don’t eat. I just try and keep a balance between eating days and not eating days. This balance is up to you, honestly— it all depends on rule number three. Also: stay safe
On the days I eat, I try and keep it either low cal throughout, or fewer high calorie meals. I sort of eat sort of what I want, within reason, as long as I take single bites of my cravings vs. an entire hamburger. If I’m having a high cal meal, I try not to snack. BUT every so often, I have a day of saying an absolute fuck it and eating some delicious shit. This is good in the long run.
I weigh myself every day. I keep a scale in my room by hiding it under my dresser on the floor (also I’m just kind of allowed to). I base my eating off my weight rather than a schedule. I don’t always count calories, and I don’t eat on specific days of the week. I just eat and fast as needed based on the trend of my weight.
WHY IT’S JUST BETTER:
Rather than eating a set, low number of calories every single day (which is exhausting and slows your metabolism) you simply fast intermittently. This gives your metabolism the work it needs to continue functioning, but also allows you to burn the most fat on your fasting days where your metabolism is still raised. Stick to this rule!! It only works if you commit! Don’t snack on fasting days and commit yourself to eating a “substantial” number of calories during a day (read: more than 500, ok?)
You just get to base it off how you feel. Some days I feel ugly and I want to fast and some days I’m just hungry. Do what you please, but track your weight and make sure it’s trending downwards in general. There’s gonna be lots of fluctuation, of course, but you just have to take that into account. (Also... this is personal but it’s fucked up so don’t report me, bitches: it still gives you those days of feeling really clean and hungry and just drinking coffee and indulging in cigarettes if you’re stupid like me. But you also have days where you have some real energy).
IT’S SAFE AND PERMANENT. You’re not gonna die doing this as long as you’re careful. You’re also gonna be able to maintain the weight you drop down to. I know because I’ve had some plateaus that result from me eating a medium-low number of calories for a week or more in the row that end when I fast again.
WHAT TO KEEP IN MIND:
There’s a couple places I’ve gone wrong. If I binge one night or something and I just don’t feel like weighing myself, I’ll skip a day, which can sometimes turn into two or three or a week days. Watching the numbers drop or stay steady is a real incentive to work hard.
Working out is still part of this equation
The progress is slow. I’ll admit that. But slow is good. Slow and steady is the way to go with weight loss, that’s a fact. And it’s not ridiculously slow. When I’ve been working hard (like I am currently), I can drop about a permanent ten pounds in a month.
The only things you have to do are commit, want it, work out, give yourself breaks, stay watchful, and stay safe. It’s not very scientific, it’s just about knowing your body and metabolism. Try and choose something like this over 500-600 calories every day. this is just better, especially in the long run.
diet soda
makes me feel as guilty as if it had calories for some reason. tasting sweetness like that just automatically makes me feel bad