The diary of a fat brat ⚜️

    CW: 64.3kg // GW: 40kg // UGW: 37kg // HEIGHT: 5'1 (1.55m) 

[starvingxbrat]

🐧WEIGHT TRACKER🐧

2.April.2022 - 64.3kg

06.April.2022 - 63.3kg 

[animatedtext]

[starvingxbrat]

Diary 002

fasting for 22hrs rn and i want to keep fasting until i’m at 58kg or lower. Because i am afraid of gaining weight after eating somthing. And if i am below the 60kg i am okay with weight gain but being at 60kg or higher would be a nightmare. I don’t want to be ovrweight anymore. I’m at 63.3kg right now so i’ve lost 1,2kg i guess. Math is not my best friend lol and i haven’t slept for 24hrs lol

[bork-woof]

You're on a diet

I have (and am very bad at) The Anorexia

We are not the same

[starvingxbrat]

Life Update - Diary 002

Thanks to my PTSD that my appitite is on a really low level. I don’t want to eat anymore. Today i had ca- 600cals but its 10pm right now in germany and i started my fasting timer. I wish i could fast for more than 16hrs but i can’t skip breakfast. I feel so guitly and weak

[an0rexic-barbie]

I need to lose 20 pounds. Rn.

[gloomybrxt]

If overthinking would be a competition i would be a champion

[lonely--nobody]

[glamourbitxh]

Your biggest test of strength will be finding the strength to walk away from what no longer serves you.

- unknown

[starvingxbrat]

Diary 001

I turned of my phone yesterday and i am using tumblr on my laptop. Before turning of my phone i posted a pic in my whatsapp-story “bye” i was so down and had several mental breakdowns...and i was shaking and couldn’t breath. Anyone annoyed me and that is why i will be offline on my phone until tomorrow night. I don’t care if there is some one of my “friends” who need an advice or anything. why i habe to be a therapist for anyone while i need a real therapist ?! Especially one friend...

Today i ate over 1000cals *again* and haven’t exercised yet and i am not sure if i will be able to exercise today. No surprise that i’ve gained more than 10kg in around 2 1/2 month...I feel so stupid and guilty

[gloomybrxt]

Breathing is hard. When you cry so much, it makes you realize that breathing is hard.

- unknown (via @glamourbitxh )

[starvingxbrat]

TRUE FACT: Isn’t it funny that  i’m now crying more than i did when i was a cute little girl 🤡👽

[gloomybrxt]

Depression as soon as I wake up :

Hey yaa! Did you miss me last night ?

[starvingxbrat]

BIG MOOD

[anxietyproblem]

[starvingxbrat]

I AM LOOKING FOR ED-FRIENDS❤️❤️

i am looking for new friends and people to follow. My dash is empty ☠️so like this and comment or message me. I will follow you <3 

[repulsive-doll-deactivated20221]

[starvingxbrat]

mood since day 1 of 2022

[starvingxbrat]

I am back

Hey everyone. Its me and i am back to the game. I had several problems and thanks to PTSD i gained a lot. I am at 64kg right now. But i am motivated as hell to lose it all again. I will reply to all of your messages soon. This is my new blog my old one @40kgfairy got t-worded but also not t-worted so i will only use this one ;) DM are always open ❤️🐧

WHAT HAPPEND ? several things and still my worst enieme is my mind. I am dealing with panic attacks every day (several times at least 5 times a day) I hit rock bottom over and over again. I can’t forget the things that happend in my childhood or the things my abusive ex did to me. I don’t want to be more detailed here but if you want to know ,ore just ask me👻I feel so alone and sad but instead of stop eating to “punish myself” or “trying to feel better about myself” I ATE AND ATE AND ATE but surprise surprise THIS MADE ME FEEL EVEN WORSE. Now i am not only depressed, filled with anxiety and fighting with panic attacks - I AM ALSO FAT🥲☠️🤡

HERE ARE MY NEW AND EMBARRASING STATS

Height: 5′1 (1.55m) i turned 23 on 25th March lol but still a fat little biatch

HG: 70kg ( in 2018) CW: 64.3kg (today 02.04.2022) HG(before PTSD hits me) 53.0kg TG: 48kg GW: 42kg UGW: 38kg 

                            . . . . . ╰──╮ ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ╭──╯ . . . . .

[sassybarbiegirl]

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