Second account for my svtfoe stuff so you don’t have to see the other fandom stuff if you won’t want to.
Main: @raspberryberyl
This blog will just be for my SVTFOE au, related thoughts, and youtube. DA is still the place I’ll be most present with svtfoe, but I’ll try to keep up here too.
Content warning: Symptoms of dementia (average warnings don't apply)
Fanfic for Terraverse, a svtfoe AU owned by @raspberryberyl
Author's note: The title was taken from the song of the same name made by I Monster. This is a continuation of this post
Kevin finds Solis in the dining hall, staring at her untouched breakfast, the morning light catches in her pink hair. He pulls out the chair across from her.
"Where's your mother?" he asks. "I haven't seen her since yesterday. She missed our morning walk."
Solis's fork clatters against her plate. She looks up at him with red-rimmed eyes, and for a moment she just stares. Then her face does something complicated, a twisting motion like she's trying to hold several expressions at once.
"Dad," she says carefully. "Mom is in her mewberty cocoon, remember? We talked about this at breakfast yesterday. And the day before."
Kevin frowns. Mewberty. The word floats in his mind without anchoring to anything solid. "That's… that's when you girls…"
"When we transform. Yes." Solis pushes her plate away. "She's been in there for a week now."
One week? That can't be right. He saw Stella just… when did he see her? The memory skitters away like water through his fingers. But a whole week feels wrong. Surely she was at lunch the day before. Surely she kissed him goodnight.
"She must be very busy then," he says. "With queenly duties. I should check on the roses while she's occupied. She always loved fresh roses in the-"
"Dad, she's not busy!" Solis's voice cracks. "She's in a cocoon. You've seen her through the All-Seeing Eye spell. I've shown you six times already."
Has she? Kevin tries to remember seeing Stella in a cocoon, but the image won't form. There's just a blankness where the memory should be, like a page torn from a book.
An older woman enters the dining hall: brown hair with some silvers, regal bearing, deeply tired eyes. She looks vaguely familiar in the way everyone looks vaguely familiar now. Someone important. Someone he should know.
"Good morning, Kevin," the woman says, taking a seat. "How are you feeling today?"
"I'm fine," he says automatically. Then, because it seems the polite thing to ask: "And you are…?"
The woman's face goes very still. Solis makes a small, pained sound.
"I'm Terra, Stella's mother. Your mother-in-law. We've known each other for years."
Terra. Yes, that sounds right. Or does it? Kevin nods as if he understands, but the connection won't stick. This woman is Stella's mother. Stella's mother is here. Why is Stella's mother here?
"Where's Stella?" he asks. "Shouldn't she be having breakfast with us?"
Solis stands up so abruptly her chair falls to the floor. "I can't- I need to-" She hurries from the room, and Kevin hears the sound of her footsteps running down the hall.
He looks at Terra, confused. "Did I say something wrong?"
Terra reaches across the table and takes his hand. Her grip is firm, almost desperate. "Kevin. Stella is in mewberty. She went into her cocoon a week ago. We don't know when she'll come out. Solis has been showing you every day through the seeing-eye spell, but you… you keep forgetting."
The words land like stones in still water, making ripples but not quite sinking in.
"That doesn't make any sense. She's too old for mewberty. It happens to young girls, not…" He trails off. How old is Stella? The number won't come. "Not to Queens."
"Apparently it can happen at any age. Glossaryck says he's never seen it this late before. We're all worried." Terra's voice wavers. "And you're forgetting, Kevin. You're forgetting more each day."
"I'm not forgetting," Kevin insists, pulling his hand away. "I just- there's a lot going on. With the kingdom duties. And the gardens need tending. If Stella's busy, I should make sure everything is maintained for when she returns."
"Returns from where, Kevin?"
The question hangs in the air. Returns from where? From her duties, logically. From wherever queens go when they're not at breakfast. The answer is there, just out of reach.
"I don't know," he admits finally. The words taste like defeat.
Terra stands and walks around the table. She puts a hand on his shoulder. "Come with me. Let me show you."
They walk through corridors that feel both familiar and foreign. Terra keeps up a steady stream of talk, about the weather, about the kingdom, about nothing important, and Kevin is grateful for it. It fills the silence where his own thoughts used to be.
They stop outside a weird door. Stella's bedroom? Their bedroom? He's not sure anymore which room is which.
Inside, Solis sits cross-legged on the floor, her hand tightly holding her wand. In front of her floats a shimmering eye. Magic, Kevin knows that much, and through it he can see…
Pink and red. Wings. A woman with wings. And far too many arms.
"That's Stella," Terra says softly. "That's your wife."
Kevin stares. The image is right there in front of him, undeniable, but something in his mind keeps sliding away from it. Stella is at her duties, in meetings, anywhere but trapped inside that strange, beautiful prison.
"Where did she go?" he asks.
Solis's shoulders shake. She's crying silently, her whole body trembling with the effort of holding it in.
"She's right there, dad!" she snaps. "She's right there and you can see her and you still can't remember!"
"I remember, Solis!" Kevin says sternly, but he's not sure what he's remembering. The cocoon? Or some other version of Stella, younger, laughing in the garden, water dripping from her hair after he pulled her from the lake. That feels more real than this magical thing floating in the seeing-eye's vision.
Terra guides him to a chair. "Sit with us a while. And Solis, please calm down."
"Where are you going?" Kevin asks.
"Just to speak with the staff. I'll be back shortly." Terra pauses at the door. "Try to remember, Kevin. Please just try."
But remembering is like grasping at smoke. The harder he tries, the more it dissipates.
Solis doesn't look at him. She keeps her eyes on the floating eye, on the creature within it. After a long silence, she speaks.
"Do you remember saving mom? From the lake?"
That memory is solid, one of the few that still feels real and whole. "Of course. She was drowning. I pulled her out."
"Do you remember marrying her?"
"Yes." Though the details are fuzzy, what she wore, what was said. But the feeling is there. Overwhelming joy.
"Do you remember when I was born?"
Kevin looks at his daughter, this young woman with pink hair and stars on her cheeks. "Yes," he says, though he's not entirely sure. He remembers a baby. He must remember when Solis was a baby.
"Do you remember yesterday?"
The question is like a knife. Kevin opens his mouth and closes it again. Yesterday is a blank space. A void. He remembers… what? Breakfast? Dinner? Walking somewhere? The memories won't coalesce.
"I remember the important things," he says finally.
"Mom being gone isn't important?" Solis's voice is small, young, frightened.
"Of course it's important. I just…" He looks at the floating eye. "Where did she go?"
Solis makes a sound between a laugh and a sob. "She's in mewberty, dad. She's transforming. She's been gone for so long and might be gone for even more weeks, and you can't remember. Every morning you ask where she is, and every morning we have to tell you again. And I don't-" Her voice breaks. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."
Kevin wants to comfort her. Wants to promise it will be alright. But the words stick in his throat because he can't promise anything anymore. He can't even promise he'll remember this conversation tomorrow.
"I'm sorry," he says instead.
"I know." Solis wipes her eyes. "I know you are."
They sit together in silence, watching the giant butterfly through the magical eye. Kevin tries to memorize it: the colors, the shape, the pulsing light. He tries to carve it into whatever part of his mind still works properly.
Stella is in there. Your wife is in there. Remember this. Remember.
But already he can feel it slipping, the present sliding into the past, the past dissolving into nothing.
"Where did they go?" he murmurs, not quite meaning to say it aloud.
"Who, dad?"
"All my memories. Where did they go?"
Solis reaches over and takes his hand. Her grip is tight, almost painful. "I don't know. But I'm here, right here with you."
Kevin holds onto his daughter's hand. Outside the window, the gardens bloom in the morning sun, flowers he planted, beds he tended, a life he lived. But the man who did those things feels very far away now, like someone Kevin once knew but can't quite recall.
By tomorrow, he'll have forgotten everything again. By tomorrow, he'll be asking where Stella went, and Solis will have to explain it all once more, a little more tired, a little more hopeless.
But for now, in this moment, he holds his daughter's hand and watches and tries, gods, how he tries, to remember.
Content warning: Symptoms of dementia (average warnings don't apply)
Fanfic for Terraverse, a svtfoe AU owned by @raspberryberyl
Fun fact: the title was taken from the Slipknot song of the same name
Author's note: This is purely a headcanon, since Kevin in the canon story doesn't really suffer from any long-term conditions, however, as the "Age of Grief" is one of the more tragic eras inside post-Star Mewni history, I decided that this theme, which has been on the back of mind for some time, fit well enough
(Not writing in the past tense feels weird, but I wanted to try something new in order to write someone who is rapidly forgetting the past)
(Stella's biography can be read on Raspberry's DeviantArt)
The hallway stretches endlessly in both directions, lined with portraits Kevin doesn't remember. Or maybe he does. The woman with the pink hair looks like someone important. Someone he should know.
He turns left because left feels right, his slippers shuffling against the polished stone. The carpet runner is burgundy here. Or was it blue in his room? He can't recall which color means which wing of the castle. When did they change the carpets to begin with?
A maid rounds the corner carrying fresh linens. She stops when she sees him, and something flickers across her face. Worry?
"Your Majesty," she says, setting down her basket. "Can I help you find something?"
"No, no, not at all," Kevin answers, waving a hand in dismissal. "I'm just… I'm going to the garden. To check on the workers."
"The garden is the other direction, sire. Perhaps-"
"I know where the garden is." His voice rises. "I've worked there for twenty years. I know every bush, every bed, every-" He stops. The words tangle in his mind. Has it really been twenty years? Maybe ten? What year was it?
The maid's face is kind but firm. "Let me walk with you, Your Majesty."
"I don't need-" But she's already at his elbow, gently steering him back the way he came. The hallway looks exactly the same going backward. How is anyone supposed to navigate this place? It's like a maze.
They pass an ebony door he swears wasn't there last time he looked. Then a window overlooking… what? The courtyard? The entrance? Everything looks the same from up here.
"Kevin?"
He turns. Stella is approaching from yet another hallway, her crown slightly askew like she's been rushing. His wife. He knows his wife. The relief is immediate and overwhelming.
"There you are," she says, and there's something strange in her voice. "I was looking for you."
"I was just going to check the gardens." The explanation comes automatically now.
"They're just fine, love. Remember? You checked on them this morning." She takes his other arm, and now he's being escorted by two women like he's some kind of prisoner. The burgundy carpet continues endlessly.
"I don't remember-" He stops himself. He hates those words. Hates how often he has to say them now.
They turn another corner and there's Solis, his daughter, coming out of what must be the library. She's carrying that wand she got when…. when was it? Recently. Or not recently? Time moves strangely now, everything either yesterday or a lifetime ago.
"Mom. Dad." Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. She's sixteen? Seventeen? She looks so much older than he remembers. "Taking a walk?"
"I'm not lost!" The words burst out of him for no reason, too loud in the large hallway. "Everyone keeps acting like I'm lost but I'm not! I just wanted some air, and check on the-"
What did he want to check on?
Solis exchanges a look with her mother. Kevin sees it, and he hates it. Those silent conversations that happen over his head now, about him but without him.
"Of course you're not lost, dad," Solis says, but her voice has that tone adults use with small children. "But maybe we could walk together? I wanted to ask your advice about something."
She's lying, he can tell. There is no question. There's just this, this gentle herding, these careful hands on his arms, guiding him through corridors that shift and change when he's not looking.
They pass a tapestry of a woman with butterfly wings. She looks like Stella's mother. Or her grandmother. Or-
"This is your room, sire," the maid says, interrupting his thoughts.
Kevin stares at the door. Dark wood, silver handle, with a small mark near the bottom where… where something happened. He can't remember what, but this is his door. He knows it's his door because they're telling him it's his door, and because something in his chest unclenches when he sees it.
"I knew where I was," he mutters, but the fight has gone out of him. He's exhausted suddenly, bone-tired in a way that has nothing to do with walking.
Stella opens the door and the afternoon light streams in through windows he definitely recognizes. His chair, his desk, and the painting of the rose garden on the wall.
"Why don't you rest a bit?" Stella suggests, and her hand on his back is gentle. "I'll have tea brought up."
Kevin lets himself be guided to the chair. Solis kneels in front of him, taking his hands in hers. When did her hands get so big? He remembers when they fit entirely in his palm.
"Dad," she says quietly. "Just relax. We've got you."
That's the worst part, he thinks as they fuss around him, drawing curtains and adjusting pillows. They do have him. They have to have him now. The man who once saved a drowning princess, who tended every plant in the castle's gardens, who knew every path and shortcut through these grounds. Now that man needs to be led back to his own bedroom like a lost child.
"I'm not lost," he says again. Wait, again? When did he even say that?
Stella stands next to his chair and places her hands on his shoulders. "I know, love. I know."
But they both know she's lying too. They're all lying now, pretending together. Because Kevin is lost. Lost in a castle that was once as familiar as his own heartbeat. Lost in a life he can't quite hold onto anymore.
He closes his eyes and tries to remember: which hallway leads to the garden? But already the memory is slipping away, the corridors rearranging themselves in his mind, and he's not sure he'll find his way even in his dreams.
Fanfic for Terraverse, a svtfoe AU owned by @raspberryberyl
Author's notes: The short story this fanfic is inspired by, "The Tale of Serenlethity", can be read on Raspberry's DeviantArt , and I recommended looking around for more of her AU if anyone is interested
Zachariah waited until the evening council had dispersed before sending word to Zegriaus. A short message: My chambers. Tonight.
He stood by the window when they arrived, watching the funeral ship's ashes still drifting in the distant stream. He didn't turn around when he heard the door close.
"You summoned me." Zegriaus' voice was flat, businesslike. "I assume this concerns arrangements for the children's care during the transition period?"
"No." Zachariah's hands tightened on the windowsill. "Close the door behind you properly, please."
A pause. Then the click of the lock.
"I'm quite busy, Zachariah. If this is about-"
"You lied." He finally turned to face them. "When you gave your account about what happened to my wife."
The look on Zegriaus' face didn't change, that same expressioneless expression they always had around him. "I did what was asked of: I reported what occurred. Your grief is understandable, but-"
"Don't." Zachariah's voice was low, but it had an undertone of anger. "Don't insult me by pretending I'm some grieving fool who can't think straight. I have met many liars in the past, I know when I'm being lied to."
"That's quite an accusation to make without-"
"Without what? Evidence?" Zachariah spat bitterly. "I don't need evidence. I could see it in your face."
Zegriaus was quiet for a moment, their eyes unreadable. "And yet you said nothing."
"Because we were standing in front of the entire kingdom!" Zachariah's voice rose up before he caught himself. "Because everyone was already devastated, and the last thing they needed was their prince calling out the hero who saved his children. Because I wasn't about to destroy morale when we're still recovering from an attack." He took a breath. "But that doesn't mean I didn't notice. It doesn't mean I didn't suspect anything."
"I brought your children home alive," Zegriaus said, their tone severe. "That should be enough."
"It's not." Zachariah stepped closer. "Because I've had time to think. And I started seeing all the things I should have noticed years ago."
"Such as?"
"Such as when I asked for your blessing to marry her." Zachariah's voice was steady now, controlled. "Do you remember that conversation, Zegriaus?"
"Of course."
"You smiled. You told me she deserved happiness, that you were glad she'd found someone who loved her." Zachariah watched their face carefully, but nothing changed. "And you promised me something else too. Do you remember?"
A flicker of something crossed Zegriaus' face, too quick to name.
"You promised," Zachariah continued, trying to be brave despite the slight crack in his voice, "that you would always look after her. That you would protect her, that you'd be there for her no matter what. You made me a promise, Zegriaus. You looked me in the eye and swore it."
"I gave you my blessing-"
"Quit lying to my face!" The words burst out of him, raw and aching. "You promised you would keep her safe, and now she's gone and you're standing here lying about how she died, and I-" He stopped, forcing himself back under control. "I thought I imagined the look in your eyes that day. That moment when you gave your blessing and I saw something flash in your face. Anger? Sadness? Resentment? But I convinced myself that I was just being paranoid, because promises are meant to be kept."
"Serenlethity made her own choices," Zegriaus said, their voice lower as well. "She chose to run into that maze. She chose to fight. I cannot be held responsible for that."
There was a moment of silence as Zachariah tried not to burst out screaming, but the tension was so bone crushing that it kept Zegriaus from saying anything first.
"You sent her there, didn't you" Zachariah finally spoke up. "You told her the children were in there. It was all your doing."
"I told her where they were last seen. What evil is there in trying to help?"
"And how convenient that you were the one who found them. That you emerged unscathed while she…" He couldn't finish the sentence. "You kept them alive, and I'm grateful for that, but I've been watching you with them, Zegriaus. The way you look at Trinity and Theo and Whyatt and little Serenity."
"I'm simply not particularly fond of children. That's hardly anything-"
"You look at them like they're inconveniences." Zachariah's hands clenched at his sides, though he wasn't sure if he hadn't already done it multiple times already.
"Like they're obstacles. You speak around them, through them, like they're not even there. These are her children, Zegriaus. Pieces of her that are still here, still living. And you can barely stand to look at them."
"Your grief is making you see things that aren't real."
"No, I'm seeing clearly for the first time." Zachariah moved even closer. "I'm seeing how you acted. How everyone else was devastated. And you…" He paused, studying their face, preparing in case he ever needed to dodge a physical attack. "Your eyes looked relieved. Like some weight had lifted. Like you'd gotten something back."
Zegriaus' expression had gone cold, staring into his very soul. "That's absurd."
"It's not," Zachariah's voice dropped to almost a whisper. "She built a life that didn't include you the way it used to. She married me, and had children, and she couldn't spend her days listening to stories of your travels anymore. And you smiled and blessed it and played the supportive friend, but you never actually accepted it, did you?"
"You're inventing narratives." Zegriaus kept staring at the man in front of them coldly, but if Zachariah had payed attention, he would have seen one of their hands shaking.
"Then tell me I'm wrong." Zachariah challenged. "Tell me you weren't relieved when she died. Tell me you don't feel like you got your friend back, frozen perfect in your memory, without a husband, without children, without a life that moved beyond you."
Zegriaus was silent.
"That's what I thought." Zachariah's voice was hollow now. "You get to keep her as she was. Your 'dear friend' who you always spent time with. And I'm left here with four children who lost their mother, with an empire that lost its princess, with a funeral pyre that carried no body because there was never a body."
"I kept them alive," Zegriaus said, and for the first time, there was a dangerous edge to their voice. "When everything was chaos, when the arrows were flying. I found your children and I kept them safe. That should count for something."
"It does." Zachariah didn't look away. "It's the only reason we're having this conversation instead of a very different one. But basic morality isn't the same as keeping your promise, Zegriaus. You saved them because it was the right thing to do. Not because you cared for them, nor because you wanted to protect the family she built."
"I never claimed to-"
"Yes, you never did, and maybe that's the problem. You promised to protect her, but what you really wanted was to preserve her. Keep her as she was in your memory, and now that she's gone…" He turned back to the window, turning his back to them. "Now you got exactly what you wanted, don't you? She'll never age, never change, never grow further away from the person you knew. She's yours again, you psycho."
The silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. He didn't mean to be so insulting, but they had insulted him first.
Finally, Zegriaus spoke. "If this is all you wanted, then I will take my leave. I have preparations to make for my departure."
"Of course you do." Zachariah's shoulders sagged. "When do you leave?"
"Tomorrow morning."
Zachariah laughed, but there was no humor in it, turning back around to make eye contact. "You're running away. Just like you always do. Traveling to the next kingdom, the next discovery, the next thing that lets you avoid facing what you've done."
"I have responsibilities."
"Then go! Just go!" The words tore out of him again, desperate and broken. "But know that you broke your promise, Zegriaus. To me. To her. To those children who will grow up without their mother because the person who swore to protect her never even meant it!"
Zegriaus stood there for a moment longer. Zachariah could almost feel their thoughts, could almost hear them choosing their words. But in the end, they said nothing.
The door opened. Closed.
And Zachariah was alone with his grief and his fury and the ghost of two people who would never return.
I believe most my Tumblr followers don't follow me for my own content anymore, but anyways I wanted to invite you to my disocrd server.
Hello Everyone. I have decided to redo my discord server and am opening it up to people joining. Please understand that this is not simply a “svtfoe” or “insert fandom here” server. It is meant to be a server where I can combine my communities and interests, and where people unite with the common interest in and of “creativity”. So that being said, I am hoping for there to one day be people of several different fandoms there.
Some of my main fandoms I am into right now are:
Star Vs the Forces of Evil Universe
Steven Universe
Minecraft youtubers/streamers/servers
Content creators
Manga and animes
My own original writings and aus
If any of these mentioned fandoms do not interest you, or even they turn you away, do not worry, I am not offended. You do not have to join if it makes you uncomfortable, this is simply an attempt to unite my own community in a single space where I can get to know them better.
Also note that I am very busy. I would like this server to work out, but can not promise it will be active. If you are on my first/original server, you know how empty it can be
Thank you and I look forward to meeting any of you who join! :D
Check out the RaspberryBeryl's Forest Grove 🌸 community on Discord - hang out with 10 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.