Static RGB

@staticrgb

I am a universe unto myself. The reality we share is my nightmares and daydreams. All content I share here is made by my hand. Expect inconsistent. Please show me the kindness I struggle to see. Find links here to my Art Reblogs , Memes , Doll Stuff , Game Reviews , Trauma Dumping

155 posts

They called me gullible for believing everything they said The laughed at my kindness because they thought it was absurd They burnt me alive with their words

The horrors die with us

The known and unknown

All the isolation

All the devastation

No continued witness

The absolute inability to connect with another human being

All the disbelieving

There's nothing more cruel than to be a child asking for help only to be told that you're the problem

There is no autonomy

Starvation at the hands of the community as much as any other

Burning screams

But there's nothing left that we can do

All that's left is death

And for the horrors to die with us

Just got aseprite. Made this lil guy. Free to use with credit.

#pixel art #aseprite #gif #my gifs #my art

Imperfect words

They pour out at irregular intervals

Hoping for the right people to find them

Everything resting on the open air

Until they too disappear

I fear I'm broadcasting pure despair

Perhaps one day I will understand

Or perhaps I won't

The hope that I once chose has long since left me

The dark staircase in my mind that goes down eternally tells me there is no end

Pattern recognition tells me that the cycles are inescapable

There's some truth to it

But there's also truth in the changes

Things have improved despite everything

I know I hit the limit years ago

The limit of what I can do on my own

In the environments I have lived

The limit exists

But I wonder if that will change too

Perhaps for the better

Perhaps for the worse

Living through it all takes it's toll

The very heart that I was given was ripped from me with a soul

Even if it regrows it'll always be different

Emotions are complicated

Like the seasons

There is no defined line between them

It's difficult to navigate when it's still all so new

But I'm no youth

The expectation of me and my reality are yet again misaligned

I can't help but try

Earnestly trying my best

Holding everything I don't understand yet

But still confined to speaking one emotion at a time

Simple

Not easy

But simple

Certainty

Out of necessity

There wasn't much to know in the matter of emotions

I had just awoken

Everything existed in the moment

No memories could be spoken

Straightforward

Surviving

The rivers of fate flow

The more I'm exposed to it the less I know

How much can we truly change

What is the real range of our autonomy

Am I truly human

I can see it all so clearly

The connections that bind us all

The unexpected consequence of a single conversation

The weights of words changing

The drowning cries of unlucky souls being pulled under

None of us are truly alone

But the past lingers a little too long

Despair is a beacon

Promising freedom

With the finality of an end

There is no escaping

Without something breaking

You've already tried every other way

Counting down days

Counting your prayers

Wondering how much more you can take

One thing is certain

Life's final curtain

Change will hunt us all eternally

Pure isolation

A fish in a naked tank

Stripped of all freedoms

On display but nobody's watching

How long will it survive

Water slowly turning to poison

With no food to eat

There is no escaping this life

Everything feels so artificial

People parroting phrases out of habit

I'm spending all my time on interactions I'll never understand

"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"

It makes survival harder

Not knowing what could have been can be such a blessing

Not having to know all the things you are missing

To feel both extremes

Care

Disinterest

Feeling feelings that you never knew existed

How do you navigate it

Everything

Nothing

Every interaction there's something I'm missing

Orphan of the stars

No constellation claims me

No answers from the heavens

Despite all the years of praying

I can see the other side

I can see there's people waving

Between us a great divide

The people keep on changing

There is no one that's waiting

So I stand on the edge of the bridge I started building

My lifes efforts to connect and it's barely started moving

Profound sorrow

I'm just floating along its river

Waiting for the sea to start

Will the waves send me to the shore

Or bury me in the sea

All these people speak of loyalty

The desire for companionship

They tell me all this

Just to leave me behind

All the words feel empty

A house abandoned

Dead air where there were promises of life

Who will stay by your side?

All these people looking me in the eye

Just to feed me a beautiful lie

Chronically sad? Empty? Despairing?

No matter what words I use to describe it's never enough

It demands to be seen but recoils when touched

Just writing in a book for myself isn't good enough

So it goes to empty blogs where in theory people can see

But the only one reading anything is me

theres this sorrow woven into my soul

stitched in from the very beginning

reinforced with experience

there is no escaping the stitches that hold me together

no amount of dye changes the fabric that soaks it

no amount of darning can repair the damage that has been done

for it has been there since my birth

the very foundations that mould my bones

threads sunk deep into my soul

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