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10,000 Hours (Soulmate Hobi AU)

We live in a world where our soulmates are predestined for us by eye color. The moment you fall in love with your soulmate, the one eye that is a different colors changes to match the other one. For y/n, the concept was always an unfair one, so she kept her focus on advancing herself. For Hoseok, the concept was always one that he lived to fulfill, but heartache changed everything. He was focused on dancing and y/n was focused on becoming an researcher, so what happens when life takes control of their plans?

☼ Pairing: hoseok x female reader

☼ Word Count: 11.1K

☼ Genre: soulmate au, fluff, romance, angst

Warnings: mentions of death (slight but if you’re sensitive to that subject here’s a warning), mentions of suicide, and mental health issues.

a/n: I’ve been reading a lot of soulmate au’s and I’ve been having this idea in my head the last couple of days, but I finally got around to feeling creative enough to go for it. Hope y’all are staying safe and productive during this damn quarantine!!!

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Growing up, your mother always told you stories about finding your soulmate. While some girls were told stories before bed about princes saving the princess, your mother was telling you stories about finding your soulmate and how magical that moment would be. She talks about the moment when your father and her were matched together and fell in love. Seeing each other’s blue eye turn into brown was one of the most magical, and still the most magical, moment of her life. Realizing she was in love and that love being her soulmate was just breathtaking.

You see, everyone is born with one eye brown (natural color) and one eye blue (soulmate indication). When you fall in love with your soulmate, both of your eyes turn to brown. You remember thinking how much heartache it must cause some people who realize they’re in love with their partner and it ends up not being their soulmate. You never thought it was fair that the universe made people go through the emotions just to play a 50/50. Why couldn’t they have made a system where your eye changes color upon the first meeting?

On top of that, you still harbored feelings of resentment from your father’s departure from your lives.

Between your mother constantly talking about how wonderful it will be for you in finding your soulmate, your father leaving and how unfair the system was in general, you vowed to just keep to yourself. You valued the individualized talents people had and believed that education was the only way to enhance one’s life in the direction best for them. So, while other girls in your grade were talking about finding their soulmates and trying to talk to all the boys in the classroom, you were embedded in your reading. Books were a way for you to escape the fixation that people had on the whole concept of soulmates. It seemed like you were never able to escape the bitter cycle and conversation surrounding the idea.

One thing you made sure to keep a secret was your love for singing. Ever since you were 7 years old, you started singing some of your favorite Disney songs in the shower. Your mother always used to compliment your voice and started talking about how you should audition for different competitions or plays in the community, but you strongly disagreed with her. You never liked being the center of attention and singing for people would definitely be the opposite of trying to remain hidden. So, your voice became your outlet for emotions you kept hidden. It was something that was yours and yours alone.

By the time you reached high school, you were completely uninterested in the idea. In fact, your junior year, a nice boy in your class had taken an interest in you after working together as lab partners on an assignment. During the duration of all the time you were spending together, he began to love your personality. So, it wasn’t a surprise when he showed up to your front door and tried to ask you to be his date for the junior prom. Your mother was in the back waiting to hear you utter the word ‘yes’ only to give him a cold expression saying, “you’re a great guy, but I’m just not interested in prom or anything of the sorts. I need to focus on my studies but thank you for asking”. Needless to say, your mother was unhappy by your decision.

Hoseok’s story was quite the opposite. He was surely born with the heart of a romantic. Finding his soulmate was something he always had in mind and never failed to take the opportunity to do. He always told his parents, “I’m going to find her, and when I do, I hope you guys love her as much as I know I do already”. His parents always loved his optimism when it came to the idea of his soulmate. He always stated to everyone he talked to about his soulmate that he didn’t care what she looked like or what she did, but that he knew the universe paired them for a reason and he was going to love her for the rest of his life regardless.

Once high school came, around his sophomore year, Hoseok really believed without a doubt that he had found his soulmate, and that it was just a matter of time before the two of them realized it. One day while they were sitting under a tree at the local park, Hoseok had told his girlfriend that he was in love with her and she had replied with the same emotion. He felt it in his bones. This is the one, I just know it. Yet, neither of their eyes changed. Both remained with one blue and one brown. How can this be? he thought to himself. His girlfriend went home in utter distraught and he went home to lay in his bed, heartbroken beyond belief. It was in this moment, Hoseok couldn’t care less about the system or finding his soulmate. To go through something like that again, where you’re so sure you’ve found the one, nope. Not again, not for him. So, he vowed to remain focused on his studies and his dancing.

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You had decided to go to Yonsei University in Seoul, South Korea to begin your journey to becoming the best researcher the world has ever seen. Today was your first day of classes. Literature 101 at 10AM. Literature wasn’t your favorite subject, you were more of a science/biology kind of person, but from all the books you spent reading growing up you found an appreciation for the mechanisms of writing and making novels.

Hoseok on the other hand, he could care less during this class. He just saw it as another early class to drag himself too. Sitting three rows above you, he had his head back as the professor was going over the syllabus. He just had to make it passed this hour and a half and then he had two hours free before heading over to the dance studio.

After going over the syllabus, the professor spoke, “For your first assignment of the semester, I want you to write up a quick 3-5 page essay on your soulmates. If you’ve met them, describe the meeting experience and what it was like when you realized they were the one. If you haven’t, write about what you think of them and what you hope to happen.”

Even from rows separated, both Hoseok and yourself found yourselves rolling your eyes at the idea of having to spend more time on this subject. Both of you felt like this was all the world cared about, and quite honestly, you were sick of it. Hoseok was thinking about how he was going to write up those pages, but his thoughts were interrupted by a girl in front of him talking about the paper.

“Excuse me? Professor?” You asked in a gentle voice. The professor looked up from his papers to show that you had his attention. “Is it possible for us to have a choice in the topic? Some of us have a sensitivity to the subject, so I know for myself I would prefer an alternate choice if that was okay.”

As if he was pondering the question deeply, the professor said, “Would you like to share as to why this is an issue for you Miss…?”

“(L/N)” you responded. “And as I stated before, some of us might have a sensitivity to it. That being said, I don’t feel like I have to share my issue surrounding the topic, with all due respect sir.”

Hoseok was impressed by your confidence. It’s the first day of classes and you have to balls to go against the professor like that on something you feel so strongly about. That’s more than he can say about himself. He sat back watching the conversation going back and forth to see who was going to give in first. You were strong willed, he’d give you that, but it seems as though the professor wasn’t lightening up anytime soon.

“I’ll tell you what Miss (L/N), you can have an alternate topic of choice for this essay, but at the end of the semester, I want your paper to be about your thoughts on soulmates and specifically what you think about yours. Then, I want you to present it to the class as your final presentation.”

Feeling satisfied with the compromise, you nodded your head to indicate that this proposition was totally okay with you. Hoseok was left wanting to thank you for saving him two weeks of slaving over how to write about something that he didn’t want to dwell over, and to tell you how impressed he was by how you stood your ground.

30 minutes passed by, indicating the end of class. As you were packing up your things, you texted your roommate, Jiyun, to see if she wanted to grab something to eat for lunch. Hey Jiyun, I’m heading to the café to get some lunch before my 2 o’clock class. You want to meet me there to have lunch together?

After sending the message, you picked up your stuff and was met by a boy with great highlighted hair and a dazzling smile stopping you in the hallway. “Hey” the boy said to you, “my name is Hoseok. I just wanted to say the way you went against the professor like that was dope. I was thinking the same thing as you as far as not wanting to write about the whole soulmate thing. I think it’s overrated and I’m kind of tired hearing about it, if I’m being honest.”

You looked at him and gave him a small smile, saying, “Names Y/N. I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Do you have a class now? I was heading over to the café. Since this is our first year, I don’t know a lot of people around here and you seem really cool.” Hoseok said to you while walking side by side out of the hall your Literature was located. Just then your phone buzzed indicating that you got a text. It was from Jiyun saying, Can’t. I have to meet with one of my professors to go over how I’m going to go about exams with my ADHD. But, I’ll pick up something for dinner tonight and we can have a mini dinner and movie to celebrate the beginning of the semester. You looked back up at Hoseok as he was waiting for your answer. “Sure, that sounds nice. I can always use a friend.”

Hoseok and you spent the next nearly two hours talking about your lives, where you came from, any siblings, etc. You found out that he was from Gwangju, had one sister and both of his parents were married. He played tennis growing up, but soon after realized his love for dancing, which explained why he came to the university to major in dance therapy. He lived with two of his friends off campus and their names were Yoongi and Namjoon. Yoongi was a year ahead, while Namjoon was a freshman like you both. Apparently Yoongi and Namjoon were his best friends since grade school.

“What was life like growing up for you?” He had asked you from across the table. You always hated the topic, mainly because you kept to yourself. Your first friend was your roommate for Christ’s sake. You knew it was stupid to dwell over telling people your boring life story, but you always felt they would ultimately find you boring and not want to really be around you much after that. Reluctantly, you decided to talk about your upbringing anyways.

“There wasn’t anything major. My mom and I moved to Dageu from Michigan when I was only 6, so I really haven’t known anything else. I mainly kept to myself as a child, keeping busy with reading and my studies, so I didn’t do much as far as sports or hobbies go.” You replied back to Hoseok, receiving a look like he was waiting for you to continue. “I mean, I guess you can consider reading as a hobby. I love discussing the different plots to the different novels I read. My room back home has built up quite the collection.”

“I was going to say, your Korean is excellent and now I know why” He stated with a small giggle at the end. “You never did anything for fun outside of school and reading?” He asked you. You looked at him for a bit, and for a brief moment you thought about telling him that you sing and create music in your spare time. But, you knew he would more than likely ask to hear how you sound, so you ultimately decided to keep it a secret. “Nope. Nothing really besides the normal TV watching with my mother.”

He looked at you like he was trying to find something in you that showed something contrary to your words but was interrupted from his thoughts by the alarm on his phone going off. “Oh! I’m sorry, it’s a couple of minutes before my next class starts, and it’s all the way across campus. But, I’ll text you later or something. Maybe we can get together later to work on our essay’s together? I have no idea what alternate topic I’m going to pick.” You looked at him was a shy smile and said, “Neither do I, but yeah. I think that would be beneficial to us both. You know what they say, two brains working are better than one, right?”

He looked at you with a nice smile and took in what you said for a moment. He nodded his head and replied say, “Exactly what I was thinking. You know what Y/N? I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.” He stuck his right hand out for you to grab and shake as he was saying his last goodbyes. You had a feeling he was going to do what could to bring you out of your shell.

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It’s been a month in a half since the semester started and it was starting to get to you. Taking two biology and organic chemistry courses, the work load was over the top on your stressors list. Literature class was your favorite part of the day, considering it was a break from the hard work that came with the life of a microbiology major. Also, you had Hoseok in your class to provide some comedic relief. Your friendship with him has grown a lot since your first meeting. He and you meet every Monday after class to have lunch, and Jiyun even started to join you for them at times. The three of you got along great, and you loved your little Monday get togethers. It kept you sane from the insanity that was your college life.

Today was one of the days that Jiyun couldn’t make it, so it was just Hoseok and yourself. He was telling you about his new choreography he was working on for a show his class was participating in. He quickly gained a top spot in his class, pretty impressive for a first year, so he was one of the individuals who were in charge of creating some of the choreography for the class. You can tell how much he enjoyed each portion of his story. With each mention of what the dance consisted of and the story behind the moves. His face just beamed with excitement each time he talked about his dancing, and he loved how he had someone like you who actually listened to him about everything.

“That sounds like it’s going to make for a great scene Hobi.” You said to him with the nickname you gave him. You remember when you first gave him the name. At first, he found it odd, but began to find it endearing after a couple of time of you calling him Hobi. “Are you going to film it and put it up on your channel later?”

“I might, I mean once I work out the kinks of it and get everything cleaned up. I like the concept of this choreo. Mental health in general isn’t talked about enough, but for men specifically, I want to kind of push that boundary” He said with his beaming smile.

You loved to see him smile. It always made you feel good inside. When you mentioned it to Jiyun, she would always said to you that usually means feelings are starting to emerge, but you loved it when all of your friends are happy and smiling. Whenever Jiyun for example is upset, you always try to find a way to help her forget about what’s bothering her, or even try to help her move passed the issue altogether. So, this was no different to you. Just because it’s Hobi and he’s a guy doesn’t mean it has to be something romantic, it’s obviously something platonic. Yet, something very small in you thought about making him smile more than you normally would think.

Hobi was feeling the same way. When he saw you smile it made him smile, but he always summed it up to the same thing as you did. He hated when people in general were upset. It always did something to his soul when he saw someone in passing with a look or a broken feeling to them of just helplessness. It made him feel as though their suffering was slowly killing them, so he always tried to be a ray of light to everyone he came in contact with. I guess that’s why his mom used to call him her little ‘sunshine’. Yet, he couldn’t help but love the way the side of your lips would crinkle in a smirk before forming a full-on smile. He swore he would do anything in his power to make sure you would never lose your smile.

You were speaking to him, but he was starting to get lost in the features of your face more and more. Her eyes sparkle more than I’ve ever seen in a person before. You started to wave your hand in his face to gain his attention, which caused him to get disrupted from his thoughts. “Huh? I’m sorry Y/N. I kind of got lost in my thoughts for a moment.”

You gave a small smile and replied, “I asked if you wanted to get together this weekend and study a bit for our exam next week. I think two minds are better than one, but also judging by the fact you fell asleep for the past two weeks straight, I’m assuming you’ll need my notes.”

He gave a laugh before responding to you saying, “Hey! Dancing takes a lot out of me. Also, I might have stayed up all night for the last week watching the entire series of the Golden Girls” he finished, making you bust out in a fit of laughter. He didn’t even bother to call you out for making fun of his choice in entertainment, but instead chose to enjoy this moment being one of the moments that he just enjoyed you smiling and your time with him. Don’t over think it Hoseok. You’ll think too much on it and eventually convince yourself you like her and that she’s the one. She’s a friend and to remain as nothing more. “Sure. Let’s get together Saturday at 5?”

“Sounds great!” You said, then leaving to get to your next class.

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Sitting at home, Hoseok began doing part of his assignment for class this week. They were studying the history of soulmates and the poetry written between the first two people who discovered the bond. Both had already been betrothed to other people, but their bond was too strong to ignore. So, they began writing letters back and forth to each other. Must be nice to have that without disappointment. He thought to himself. He always hated having assignments like this. Ever since feeling that heartbreak, he never understood the purpose of soulmates in the first place. If you felt the connection to someone, then that’s it. Doesn’t necessarily have to be with the person they’re paired with by the universe. He began reading another excerpt from the book:

My love, You give me something worth fighting for, something to wake up for each morning, something to dream about when I lay my head down at nightfall to rest, and something to live for. Every moment of my day is spent thinking of ways to make you happy and make you feel protected and loved. When I look into your eyes, I see my future, and in my future, I see all I need to survive. Without your love, the piece of me that has always felt missing would remain missing. You are the piece that makes me whole. When I saw your eye turn brown, I knew there was something to this. I prayed to the God above and asked Him to show me what it was that this meant, and I know now that our souls were meant for each other. Yours designed to fit mine and mine for you. You are the song I sing and the revelation I was waiting for. I know we both are promised to another, but I promise you that we will find a way, and when we do is when we will make our greatest escape yet. This time, never coming back.

I love you and I will dream of you tonight and every night until the day I die, Your Soulmate

There was that damn word again. Soulmate. How he dreaded that word. He felt all that with his previous girlfriend and nothing happened to their eyes. Reading that one passage put him over the edge and made him throw everything off of his table. He hadn’t realized he was showing his anger and frustration until Namjoon came into his room with a concerned expression on his face. “Dude, are you okay? I could hear you slamming stuff all the way down the hall” He stated.

Looking around his room with a clearer state of mind, he saw he had in fact nearly destroyed his room completely in his fit of rage. “Yeah” Hoseok breathed out. “I’m fine. I was just stressed out from some of these assignments I have due next week that all Joon.”

“Yeah, I’m not buying that. You’ve gotten this mad twice in your life. Once when your mom sold your favorite toy bear at a garage sale in the fourth grade and the other being when you and Minseo broke up because of…” Namjoon trailed off not wanting to finish his statement, knowing it was a painful memory for his friend.

Though, Hoseok wasn’t having it today. He was tired of feeling like he had to be dealt with delicately when the subject came up. “You mean when we didn’t match with the soulmate bond? You can say it you know.”

Namjoon sighed entering his room and sitting on his bed. “I didn’t want to make whatever was going on with you worse” He said confessing. He tapped the side next to him on the bed signaling for Hoseok to join him. “Now, I’ve been your best friend before we were able to understand what a boner was. Tell me what’s actually going on.”

“I mean, I technically didn’t lie. My assignment has been causing me some stress” Hoseok said in reply. He took a moment to gather his thoughts on what to tell his friend without seeming like a complete dramatic bitch. “We’re reading an excerpt on letters sent between the first two soulmates in history, and as I was reading one of them I started to think about Minseo and how we basically felt the same way, yet we were left destroyed after that. How can something that was made to bring us to the person who would complete us also bring me the biggest pain I’ve ever felt?”

Namjoon took a moment to assess his friend’s behavior and emotional state. He realized that maybe it wasn’t so much that this reading assignment was bringing him reminders of the pain he experienced, but realization that perhaps what he thought was a soulmate bond that didn’t happen, wasn’t something that strong at all. “You said that it was basically the same, but not so much that it was the same. Do you think that it’s possible that your bond with Minseo was never as strong as you both believed? You’ve always been a romantic, and this was something that was close to the feeling of a soulmate, so it’s understandable that you would feel like she was your soulmate.”

Hoseok sat with the thought for a moment and tried to take in what Namjoon said to him. Did he not feel the strong soulmate bond with Minseo? Of course, I did. He just doesn’t understand what I meant by my statement. He shook off the idea and replied, “Of course, I did. It’s just a painful memory and reminder is all. I’ll be fine Joon, but thanks for checking in on me. I should clean this up and get to bed” He said getting up from where he was sitting on his bed to move over to the fallen books next to his desk. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Giving up and sighing in defeat, Namjoon got up and started walking out of his room, looking back to give him one more piece of advice before leaving it completely. “Just think about what I said okay? Don’t just write it off. Either way, just know it’s okay to feel things and understand they needed happen for what ever reason. It’s only when we accept the fact and move on that we learn what that reason was for.”

Hoseok nodded in response with a smile signaling a goodnight. Had this happen for a reason? He chose not to dwell on the thought, knowing it would just make him more agitated. If what Namjoon was saying was true, he hoped he would come to find out the reason for his pain soon enough.

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“I’m telling you, my mother is just as crazy as Sarang in this novel! She is so obsessed with The Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson she followed them around for a whole year while they were on tour” you said while laughing with Hoseok on his couch. Your literature class was reading a novel about a girl who was so obsessed with a band that she went as far as killing the member she was in love with.

“You think your mother would go as far as she did in the book?” Hoseok asked you jokingly, to which you replied with a smirk before saying, “I don’t know. She is a die hard romantic. Dying at the hands of your lover? How else can one hope to die but by the hands of their lover and that being the last sight they see?”

This threw him off so much he went from his laughing expression to one the portrayed pure fear in the tone of voice you chose to say that statement in. Mixed with the expression that you gave as you said it? “You’re deadass right now?” He asked in fear of what your answer was going to be. “No, dumbass, I came from a semi-crazy gene pool not a full blow psychopath” you stated before laughing even harder than before.

For the rest of your evening, you both sat there discussing the major points of the book, but all the while joking with each other entirely too much for two people who were meant to be studying and analyzing literature. You both weren’t getting as much done as you would have if you were doing it separately, and this was the first time you didn’t care about not going the extra mile. You were genuinely enjoying the company of your friend next to you, more so than you have ever enjoyed anyone else’s company before. You weren’t aware of it, but he was thinking almost the exact same thing.

In the middle of your laughter with one another, you were both interrupted to the sound of the front door to his apartment opening and shutting. When you both looked up, your eyes met with those of two unfamiliar men in the entrance. “Who’s this?” the taller one asked Hoseok referring to you. “This is Y/N, my friend from my literature class I was telling you guys about” he responded back. “Y/N, these are my roommates and best friends, Namjoon and Yoongi.”

You looked at both the men in front of you, giving them a politely shy smile, you stood up bowing before them introducing yourself. “Hey, I’m Y/N. Hobi’s mentioned you guys a lot, I’m glad to finally be meeting you both.” Both of them gave you a confused look before Yoongi looked at you with a small smile saying, “Hobi?” You grew slightly embarrassed remembering that it was a nickname you had given him and not something people would regularly call him.

Hoseok took your lack of response as a sign to interject. “Yeah, it’s a nickname that she gave me a few weeks after we met. Guess it just kind of stuck.” Both the boys gave each other a look as if they were communicating telepathically to one another. Once they broke their eye contact with one another, it was Namjoon this time speaking saying, “Well, we are going to go and let you guys get back to studying for your class. It was nice meeting you Y/N. We look forward to seeing you later, so feel free to come by whenever you’d like” he finished with a smile, and after he was finished he gave Hoseok a pat on his shoulder, and with Yoongi bowing, they both left to further into the apartment.

“Sorry about them. They like to joke around a lot” he began apologizing to you. What you both didn’t know was how both of his roommates were on the other side of the wall next to the living room, Namjoon’s room, listening to what was going on between the two of you. “Don’t worry about it Hobi. I’m a lot tougher than I may look. Plus, I’m sure they’re just as great as you’ve been telling me. There’s got to be a reason you guys have been friends for so many years” you replied trying to reassure him.

He took a moment to take in what you were saying, and glad the brief but awkward encounter didn’t scare you off. “Yeah, I guess they just aren’t used to seeing me around a girl again.” You thought about his words for a minute trying to think what he meant by that. Is he afraid of girls normally? “What do you mean by ‘again’?” you asked him in curiosity.

He didn’t realize what he said until you asked your question. Shit, he thought to himself, do I tell her? No. You don’t have too, and she doesn’t need to know…but she is a good friend of yours now. You can trust her, right? He took a moment to collect his thoughts before beginning to tell you the biggest event to happen to him. “Well, it’s kind of a story. It’s a bit long…” he said beginning to trail off.

“Oh no Hobi, if you don’t feel comfortable telling me about it then don’t feel you need to please. I don’t want it to seem like I’m prying” you said trying to reassure him. He looked you in the eyes and gave you a small forced smile before saying, “No, it’s okay. I want to tell you. I mean, you’re a close friend of mine now, so I feel it’s okay to trust you with this.”

He breathed in once quickly before beginning his story. “When I was 15 I fell in love with my girlfriend at the time Minseo. We fell head over heels fast, and before I knew it we were spending all day and everyday together. She was the other half that completed me. I was so sure she was the one and I was going to marry her after college. The day we both realized we were in love with one another, we went to go tell each other formally. We just knew, yet our eyes remained the same. Nothing changed, and in that moment, it killed me. She started to cry, and I was just in shock. I wanted to fix everything, I wanted to fix her pain way above dealing and fixing with my own. Seeing her in pain was crushing me more than finding out she wasn’t my designed soulmate. I couldn’t offer her my shoulder to cry on, because we both believed in soulmates. Well, she still does. I on the other hand, I couldn’t care less about the system any longer.”

You were in shock as you saw the pain on your friend’s face revealing itself as the reminder of the painful memory. You now understood what he meant when he said wanting to fix something you can’t. It was killing you that he was in this much pain, but the damage was done to his soul and there was nothing more you could offer him than an ear to listen too. You never experienced a loss of love like that before, but you tried to offer the only help you knew of a loss of love.

“Hobi, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a love like that. I’ve never really let myself indulge in something like that. But, I can kind of understand having your heart broken” you took a breath before continuing, “…my dad passed away when I was a little girl. He left a note to us saying that he felt like a failure of a man, but that was his depression talking to him. My mom found him in the basement hung from the ceiling with the note in his hand while she was going down to do laundry. At his funeral, she said ‘Sweetheart, was there anything I could have done to make your heart beat better, something I could have said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me that your mind made you feel so worthless.’ Seeing the pain in her face, the pain I felt, all of it was too much to handle.”

Hoseok didn’t know what to say. All he could think about was taking away your pain. He wished he was there with you when you were a young girl during that time. He couldn’t imagine the pain you were feeling, and something about thinking about you in pain and hurting was killing him a bit inside. Even Namjoon and Yoongi were on the verge of tears from behind the wall hearing that story. “Y/N, I had no idea you had that happen. Is, that why you hate soulmates?” You took a moment before responding, looking at him in the eyes with a smile forced, “I don’t hate soulmates Hobi. I just don’t want to invest my time into something that’s overly hyped and something that wasn’t designed with my likes and dislikes in mind. But, I’m not going to lie, my dad’s suicide makes me even more resistant to it. I don’t want to fall in love with my soulmate so much that if they leave like he did that I’ll end up like my mother. Depressed and holding on the hope that my child will live the life I was supposed to live, only with their soulmate.”

You both sat there in silence for a while, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. Both of you just sat there in a silence of comfort. You both recognized there was a big hole in both of your hearts, and the thought alone made both of you feel something inside you haven’t experienced before. It was new to the both of you. Hoseok was the first to break the silence, feeling the urge to do something to comfort you and bring you some peace, “I’m promising you right here and right now Y/N L/N, I, Jung Hoseok, will always be here for you and make sure you know that you have someone on your side cheering for you, supporting you, comforting you and just being somebody to you. I’m never going to leave you by my own will, ever.”

You found a new kind of comfort in his words that you haven’t felt before. You felt, safe? You were so grateful for this friendship with him, you were so filled, you couldn’t help but leap into his arms and give him the biggest hug in gratitude. He accepted it right away giving you a small kiss to the top of your head in comfort. He was breaking down the walls you had built slowly, and you were doing the same to him.

Suddenly you both felt more bodies on top of you both and looking up you saw a teary eyed Namjoon and Yoongi hugging you both as well. Hoseok was the first to speak saying, “How long have you both been within earshot of our conversation?”

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Hoseok and you have become nearly bound to the hip for the next couple of weeks. You enjoyed his company so much, and your roommate was beginning to notice as well with the lack of time you spent in the dorm studying nowadays. “You’ve seemed to be spending an awful amount of time with Hoseok lately. Does someone have a crush on her friend?” Jiyun would say to you trying to gain a reaction, but you would simply denounce her suspicions by telling her about how he’s just become a close friend that you enjoy spending your free time with.

“I hate to break it to you, but I’m sure that’s how people describe the actions of someone who’s developed feelings for someone else” she stated. Did she have a point? you thought to yourself. You quickly shook the thought out of your mind before it could manifest any longer. “He’s just a friend and nothing more Jiyun. Now, if you want me to continue to help you practice your English for your class, I suggest you drop the subject before you end up having to order Rosette Stone just to pass the class.”

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It was a Saturday night, and just like previous weekend nights, you were spending it out with Hoseok. Tonight, you both were sitting on a bench at a park near the campus eating some Wendy’s and talking about nonsense like any other day. Small moments like this were something you always looked forward to after a long day filled with classes, homework and preparing for your final exams. Unfortunately, one thing loomed over your mind in recent days.

Hoseok seemed to take notice in your shift in mood, because he looked at you such concern asking, “Y/N, what’s wrong?” You looked him in the eyes and let out a sigh. “It’s just, the semesters almost over and I have to write up that report on soulmates that our literature professor told me to do as our final. I hate that I have to discuss about what I think about soulmates and having to explain what I expect from mine, because quite frankly, he’s probably better off without me.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Better without you? He wasn’t your soulmate and he knew that not having you in his life would kill him. He knew that there would continue to be a hole, a missing piece in his life that you were filling to make his life complete. Who else would he spend his nights and weekends with? “How could you say that? You’re amazing. By you coming into my life, it had been one of the best things I can think back on in my life to happen to me. You bring me so much joy and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The guy you end up spending your life with is going to see it too. Don’t make yourself believe the lies your mind is making you believe.”

You looked up to him and smiled with how convincing his voiced sounded as he was telling you how he felt towards your friendship. “You really mean that Hobi?” He took your right hand into his left and looked you straight in the eyes saying, “I’ve never meant something with such sincerity in my life. You mean more than you could ever know to me, and I thank whatever higher power above that we crossed paths every day.”

“I feel the same about you too. Thank you for helping me feel a bit better about this whole thing.” You had then given him a tight hug that seemed to melt away all your worries about your finals and the ending of the semester stress. When releasing from each other grips, you couldn’t help but stare at each other for a bit in a comforting silence. That’s when something neither of you saw coming happened.

His blue eye turned brown. You thought to yourself, and in that same moment he said to himself, her blue eye turned brown. Both of you too shocked to move from where you were previously, still locking eyes with each other, mouths open, you both sat there trying to find words to say to one another, but nothing was able to project from either of your mouths. It wasn’t until the panic began to swell within you that you were the first one to break the silence of everything.

“I can’t do this. I need to go.” You got up from where you were sitting and began walking in the direction leading back to your campus, so you could get into your dorm room and sleep, hoping that this was all a dream and you’d wake up to a different scenario. Hoseok was quick to jump to his feet to chase after you. “Y/N! Wait! Don’t go, please we should talk abo-“

“There’s nothing to discuss.” You didn’t even look back while speaking to face him, you just continued on the path home while he was trailing behind you. “Nothing to discuss? Y/N our eyes changed. We’re soulmates.” You couldn’t take it. Everything was happening all at once and you couldn’t bring yourself to think rationally about everything, because you just wanted it to all go away. “I’m well aware of that Hobi, but I’m not discussing this. We both know how we feel about this whole soulmate’s thing. Just because we found out we are doesn’t mean it’s changed.”

He could almost hear his heart break slightly from his chest at your words. He knows what he said and felt about all of this originally, but now finding out it was you, everything seemed to be perfect. Everything just began to make sense. “Please Y/N, let’s just take a minute so we can discuss this rationally. I understand you’re overwhelmed, but we can get through it. We can take things slow. I know you’ve felt what I’ve been feeling towards one another, but we let our own hurt push it aside as if it wasn’t there when it was meant to be all along.”

At this point, you had enough and what you said next you were going to regret it the moment it escaped your lips. “No. I’m not going further with this. You aren’t bound to me and I’m not going to be bound to you because some higher power just said, ‘fuck it’ and paired us together. They don’t know me, and they don’t know you. I don’t need you as my soulmate. You’re going to find someone else.” You didn’t look back because you can already hear the hurt in his voice as he said, “and what if I don’t want someone else? What if I just want you?”

“Well, I don’t.” With that, you left him standing there hurt, broken and confused on what to do next.

You continued to walk with tears in your eyes from the flooding of emotions overtaking you. By the time you reached your dorm, you were in a full-blown meltdown that made Jiyun snap her neck around to look at you, panic and concern flooding her expression as she rushed over to you. “Y/N, what the hell happened to you?” You couldn’t even speak, so you looked her in the eyes to let your new appearance speak for itself. She stared at you for what seemed like an eternity waiting for your response, but she eventually saw what you have been waiting for her to notice, and with a gasp she asked simply, “Who?”

“Hobi” you were barely able to choke out before bursting out in tears again. Her confusion led to her believing that he had said or done something to you because of this, when it was you that had said something to him. When you explained what happened and why you had said and done what you did, empathy resonated within her as she continued to comfort you. “I understand what you’re saying, but the soulmate bond isn’t something that was done so carelessly. Your soul was designed to fit the person you’ve been paired with. To ignore that is to live incomplete. Just, think on that.” She patted your back before going to grab your pajamas and some makeup wipes. “For now, you need to rest. Get some sleep and we’ll deal with it in the morning to see what it brings then.”

At his apartment, Hoseok was beside himself. Walking in, Yoongi and Namjoon automatically noticed a difference in how he carried himself. The contagious ray of sunshine that he always held was now replaced with something more seldom. “What the fuck happened to you?” Yoongi was the first to ask. All he did was look up, and they saw what had happened. “She turned out to be your soulmate huh?” Hoseok looked at them confused. “How did you know?”

“It’s not that hard to figure out” Namjoon began. “You’ve been spending almost all of your free time with her, you talk about her non-stop, so much so Yoongi was beginning to say her name in his sleep, you’ve opened up to her about things you normally keep private, and she’s the first girl you’ve allowed yourself to entertain since Minseo. We both knew it was only a matter of time before something happened.” He couldn’t believe he had been so oblivious to what was happening around him. The signs were all there, yet he was too wrapped up in the joy that came with you to even notice the inevitable.

“If she’s your soulmate, why do you look so down and out about it? I honestly thought you’d be running home to tell us every detail that happened” Yoongi interjected. He really didn’t want to relive the painful words that were spoken to him from you. “To spare myself the painful reminder, she basically said she didn’t want me. That was that.”

Both of his friends looked at each other and just shook their heads in disapproval. “What?” Yoongi was the first to get up, and for the first time in all their years of friendship offer the wisest advice he ever received. “Ever since we were kids, you talked about meeting your soulmate. After Minseo, we both saw something that died inside of you that dimmed your light slightly. You tried to hide it as best as you could, but we’re your best friends. We know you were incomplete. When Y/N came into your life, we saw something in you slowly, to put it simply, begin again. What I’m trying to say through this speech is, I know she said she doesn’t want you, but that doesn’t mean to stop trying. Your soul needs her, and I’m willing to bet that hers is feeling the same way, whether her words show it or not.”

He didn’t say anything the rest of the night. He thanked them both for listening and for the advice before excusing himself to go to his room to end his day. His mind was going at a hundred miles per minute, and if he was being honest, he just wanted the day to end.

It seems as though Hoseok was taking Yoongi’s advice. He would call and text you non-stop for the next two weeks. Even though you were ignoring them, he didn’t give up. He even continued to sit next to you and wait for you after class each time. Though he was feeling discouraged by how you were ignoring him, he knew he couldn’t give up on you. He couldn’t give up on your life together, the one you were supposed to build together.

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You sat at your desk trying to type up your final paper for your literature class, finding it harder than ever before to write about what you think about soulmates and you specifically. Before, it was just your hypothetical soulmate, and now you have a face to the person. The worst part? You know you’re in love with him too, but you can’t let yourself open up to more pain and go against all you promised yourself. Just then, you heard your phone buzz with a call from your mom.

“Hello, my sweet daughter” you mother said through the phone upon you answering. “Hi mom.” She could tell there was a difference in your voice from the last time she talked to you. Something was weighing on you, but she wasn’t sure what it was. “Honey, what’s going on? Why do you sound so weighed down?” You weren’t sure if you should tell your mother the reason behind your attitude lately. You knew that as soon as she found out that you had met your soulmate she was going to go overboard about it and pressure you into going along with it, even if you told her otherwise.

Yet, you’ve been keeping all of this to yourself in fear that you would burden Jiyun. You didn’t have any other friends, so you kept everything inside. It would be nice to finally just let everything go all at once now that you’re less emotional from the initial shock. Against your better judgment, you decided to tell your mom. “I found my soulmate.”

Just as you had predicated, your mom was on the other line happy as ever asking you all kinds of questions ranging from who he was, what’s he like, what does he look like, where did we meet, what does he study, what does he do. You almost expected her to ask if you knew his social security number. “Mom calm down. I told him no.” She didn’t say anything at first and then just asked simply, “What do you mean you told him no? You told him you didn’t want to be with him? Sweetheart, why would you do that?”

Here it is, you thought to yourself. This is where I tell her how I feel about everything. You began to explain to your mother how you thought the concept was unfair to have the ability to be with who you wanted and who you chose to be with, not someone who was picked for you before you were even born. How your dad killing himself and leaving your mom like he did made you feel like soulmates all together were pointless. You wanted nothing to do with them.

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. Your mother didn’t respond right away, and quite frankly you weren’t sure what to expect from her now. She normally would give you a lecture on why you weren’t thinking straight and that this way is the better way, but instead you both sat in silence. Finally, she spoke up. “I understand.”

You were shocked to say the least. “You understand?”

“I do.” Your mother responded. “You’re scared. The fear from everything you’ve endured and thought about manifested itself into just bringing you to what you find to be a logical conclusion that you don’t need your soulmate. And you don’t honey. You don’t NEED them. But, it does enhance your life in more ways than one. Yes, your father did kill himself leaving me heartbroken. He was my soulmate, and I was left feeling incomplete again. Which I’m sure is something you’re now understanding is what happens when you’re not with your soulmate. Even though I don’t have your father physically by my side, it wasn’t my fault or his. He was sick. His depression got the best of him and he was consumed by all of the voices tell him he was worthless. He was beaten down and he felt he couldn’t be saved.”

You heard your mother take in a deep and sharp breath before continuing. “But, I wouldn’t trade the memories I have with him for the world. From the moments we spent going out for ice cream, sitting in the car singing along to old Disney songs, having deep talks about our dreams and worries, the way he would do that quirky face when he was in deep thought, or the greatest memory he could have given me. A life filled with love. While he was here, I loved him more than anything, and he made sure I knew he felt the same way for me. He gave me the gift of you, my greatest joy and gift. So even if he isn’t here physically, I still have his love in my heart. I get to see him all the time still when I see you thinking deeply or the way you sing to your songs. You have your fathers voice. He is living through you. In fact, he left you a note for when you get married. I was under strict instruction to not let you read it until the day of your wedding, but I read it, and honey you were your father’s pride and joy. He wanted you to believe in the wonders and love of life.”

At this point you were a full mess. You couldn’t even believe the words you were hearing. You spent so much time mad at everything and everyone for your father leaving, you never took the time to sit back and think about all of the good memories he left for you and your mother. Maybe you were wrong in not even giving Hoseok the chance to sit down with you to discuss everything. You had to make it up to him somehow, but you didn’t know how. All of this was so new and foreign to you, expressing you want him wasn’t something that was going to come naturally to you. “Mom, I think there’s something I need to do.” You couldn’t see it, but she was smiling on the other side of the phone knowing she was experiencing the strong girl she raised now showing herself.

Once you said your goodbyes, you saw you had another missed call and text of Hoseok.

He…just said he loves me? You thought to yourself. That’s when you knew, you had the perfect idea on how you were going to tell Hoseok that you were willing to try too. You wanted him to know everything, and you were more than ready to put your heart on your sleeve for everyone to see. Especially for your Hoseok to see.

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“Ms. L/N, are you ready to present your final paper?” Your professor asked. If you were being honest, no you weren’t ready. You looked to your right where Hoseok sat stealing a glance just long enough to give you a small encouraging smile. Letting you know that you’ve got this. “Yes sir, I’m ready.” You replied. “Then the floor is yours.” He said taking a seat with the students in the front getting ready to hear what you had written.

It’s now or never. You stood up in the front of the class scanning your audience. A couple of people were on their phones, others looking around the room, and others doodling in their notebooks, but the one person who mattered the most in this moment was staring at you giving you his full attention. That’s when you began your presentation.

“Growing up, I always found the whole ideology of soulmates to be one that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. We have free will and with that we should have the ability to pick who we want to be with, without it being something that is picked for us that we are brainwashed into believing was our choice all along. I mean, we’re assigned a soulmate before we’re born, so how can the higher power that designs this know who I am as a person well enough to know who I need as a life partner?” You took a breath knowing the next part was going to be hard to get through without choking up at least. The memories of your father still fresh in your mind from the day you talked with your mother a few days ago. “Adding on, my father, my mother’s soulmate, killed himself. Only for my mother to find him with his suicide note to us in one pocket and another for me on my wedding day in the other. Seeing her pain, hearing her cries, all I remember thinking is ‘how can a bond as strong as that of this soulmate bond make him still have the audacity to take his own life’, and it became apparent to me that soulmates are just something constructed to give us a fantasy of something so great and wonderful that’s too good to be true ultimately.

Yet, my ideology was shaken this semester when I met someone incrediblely special to me. Jung Hoseok came into my life and challenged everything I had previously believed in about soulmates, just from him being himself.” You looked up for a brief moment to lock eyes with Hoseok now with a confused expression on his face. Everyone in the room was now full on listening to what you had to say. “If you guys didn’t notice, I have two brown eyes as of three weeks ago. That’s because my soulmate, Jung Hoseok and I realized we are in love with each other. We were chosen to fit and complete one another’s soul. Yet, because of my stubborn nature and my belief on soulmates in general, I wasn’t having it. I pushed him away because I was scared. I didn’t want to have a life like my mother. I didn’t want to deal with more pain. But, by rejecting him as my soulmate, I was causing myself the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.”

Now, you looked up to Hoseok, who was trying to hold in his tears, to lock eyes as you said your closing statement. “Jung Hoseok, you came into my life with a common feeling on soulmates as me, and yet to our humor, we were paired together as soulmates. You are my best friend and everything I could ever ask God for in a life partner. If you’ll still have me, I’ll spend 10,000 hours and more in learning that sweet heart you’ve got. Even if I might not ever get there, I’m going to try because I love you.”

When you finished, you had all the girls, two boys and even your professor in tears. After five minutes of praising your work with clapping and tears, everyone turned their focus to Hoseok to see what he was going to do. He never broke eye contact with you as he got up from his seat to meet you where you were in the front of the classroom. “It took you long enough” he said through his tears running down his cheek.

You ran your thumb over his tears, now having your own filling your eyes. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize I can’t live without you.” Without warning, he leaned down to meet your lips where they were. The kiss was nothing to what you could imagine. You were filled with so many emotions, but all of them were feelings you never experienced before, but you knew you never wanted to stop feeling it.

After he pulled away, he looked at you and said, “So, since you’re basically my wife now, how about we go out for a proper date. My treat.” Laughing at his corny attempts, you agreed saying, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

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7 years later:

Fixing the veil laying on your head, carefully placed, you were doing anything you could to not focus on the growing anxiety in your stomach. Today was the day you were going to seal forever with your Hoseok. The love of your life, your soulmate. You couldn’t believe it’s been seven years since you found him, the person who completed the hole in your soul. These passed few years have been the best years of your life. Hoseok and yourself moved into an apartment in Seoul so he could open up his dance studio, while you went to go on to work in a laboratory to analyze abnormalities in the blood. Yoongi and Namjoon went on to open a record label together and live together not far from your apartment. Jiyun moved to America to study for her graduate degree, but you still constantly talk on the phone. You couldn’t believe the turn of events your life had gone through, but you wouldn’t change it for anything.

Snapping you out of your thoughts was the sound of your mother coming into the room. “Oh sweetie, you look so beautiful” she said, wiping away some tears. “Your father would be so proud of the woman you’ve become. I know I am.”

“Thank you, mom. I just wish he was here right now for this.” That’s when your mother pulled out a piece of paper from her clutch.

“Well, he is. Remember I said I was under strict instruction to give you this on your wedding day? Here it is.” Your mother handed you the letter, then leaving you alone to spend some time with your father before you were to be led by your mother to your husband-to-be, Hoseok.

My dearest Y/N,

I know you probably aren’t the happiest with me for leaving in the way I did, but it was never your mother’s fault or yours. I’ve always wanted you to have the best life possible, and that meant without me for a multitude of reasons, but a major one being the life insurance policy. I just lost my job, and I know I couldn’t afford to keep you both alive and provide for your needs, so this was my last way of doing what I needed to do as a husband and father. Just writing this, I feel such an enormous amount of love for you, but I need to do this. From the day you were born, I knew my entire life was going to change. When they put you in my arms, the first thing you did was grip onto my finger, and I knew from that moment on I was going to do anything and everything in my power to protect you and give you everything you could need or want. My little girl. I know you’re going to do amazing things, you’ve always been a smart little girl. I’ve adored watching you grow up, and I hope God grants me the chance to continue to see you grow up even though I can’t physically be there to see it. You are my world baby girl, please always remember that and make it known to yourself. I want you to grow up to find the love of your life, which is why I told your mother to not give you this note until the day of your wedding. I know you must look even more stunning than I could imagine. I wish I could be there right now while you’re getting ready to calm your nerves down as I prepare myself to give my little girl to the man I’m going to have to trust to take care of you for the rest of your life. Your soulmate is out there, Y/N. I know he is, and I know he’s going to love you more than words could even express. I know this because that’s how I feel towards your mother. I lose my breath every time I even glance at her. She is the part that makes me whole, but she deserves better. Please remember to let him in Y/N. You’ve always been reserved, so don’t ever close up yourself to your husband. He’s the love of your life and he’s only going to want to take care of you. You need to let him in to do that. Lastly, just remember to continue learning about each other. His heart must be sweet, so spend 10,000 hours, more than that, even the rest of your life doing it. Even if you never get there, you still have to try. Love him forever. You both deserve it.

I love you my darling daughter, and I am here with you right now walking you down to him and celebrating you. -Dad

“He is special dad. I love him so much, and I’ll love him for 10,000 hours, 10,000 more or the rest of my life doing it.”