"I just want art and music and you!" Forever Unlabeled 💚🤍💙🧡 she/her or whatever I make art. I design characters. I write stories. I like me some poetry. Snazzy dresser and I like the cut of your gib!
Summary: (Trigger warnings for blood) Simon can't hold back the truth from Grace any longer. In the end, the Butcher makes his final appearance.
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Grace got home from class a little later than normal. He wanted to get home early, but he had a hard time resisting the Pebble’s extra curious questions about class that day, which did run a little long. Considering how Simon was feeling this morning, how he could barely stand to look at Grace, he wondered if he needed a little space anyway. He approached the door to their house and opened it. When he looked inside he was surprised.
He saw Simon sleeping on the couch, under his big colorful quilt, with Adrian and Helen curled up nearby. Adrian seemed to be doing some work on her sonoscreen laptop converter that connected to Simon’s laptop. Helen was curled up next to Simon on the couch.
Grace stepped inside and closed the door quietly, trying to gently set down his briefcase and make as little noise as possible.
“Did he make it to his appointment?” Grace asked in a whisper. Adrian made some quiet hums as she affirmed it.
“Long day, sleep much,” She replied in a quiet tone, closing what she was doing and standing up. “Rocky miss me, will go home. She poked Helen.
“No want go… Want stay…” Helen grumbled as she got up and moved from her place cuddled up next to Simon, causing Simon to stirr from his sleep. “Miscalculation…” Helen said in a remorseful whisper.
“I’m sure it’s alright, he said he had a knot in his back yesterday anyway, and I’m sure he would prefer to go to bed properly, thanks for staying with him,” Grace said, then felt odd. He sounded like he was talking about an established partner instead of just a friend. He hadn’t gotten confirmation about what exactly they were yet, and the time hadn’t seemed right to ask. Nor was now, he supposed as he said a grateful goodbye to Helen and Adrian. Adrian stopped in the doorway.
“Simon is good human. Never forget.” She impressed upon the confused school teacher.
“Um, Yes??” He answered in a confused tone. “I won’t forget?”
“Good good good,” She added before scuttling off for home. Grace looked confused but shrugged and closed the door. He looked back at Simon who looked like he was groggily sitting up, getting his bearings after a very long and heavy nap. Grace noticed his arm prosthetic with great interest, but decided that now wasn’t the time for fawning over Eridian technology.
“How are you feeling?” Grace came over to him, but didn’t touch him. Simon rubbed his face feeling zonked after all the crying. He looked exhausted. He itched his new prosthetic, regretting falling asleep with it on, as it had begun to pinch and make the end of his arm go numb.
“I’m.. I’m alright…” He glanced up at Grace then back to his new arm. “Sorry, I know you just got home, but do you think you could help me get this off?? It starts to get uncomfortable after awhile…” He seemed shy, feeling weird asking for help after a long nap.
“Of course,” Grace went over and took a seat beside him. He looked over how the straps were attatched to the arm and Simon showed him how the clasps worked. He helped the convict undo them with a smile. Then he showed him how the pinlock worked and he turned the latch and it released the pin from the liner and pulled it free with a suction sound. Simon sighed with significant relief already.
“Thanks…” He said. “I can prolly get the liner myself, I need to clean it anyways,” He nodded his head to the silicone part and Grace nodded.
“Pretty cool, huh?” Grace said, admiring the piece of technology. Simon pulled off the sensor cuff and set it on the coffee table.
“It’s gonna take some getting used to…” He looked at the artificial limb, not knowing how to feel about it. “Its weird… Sometimes I get these phantom sensations like I should still have a normal arm there… Sometimes it hurts or gets itchy but there’s no arm there to itch..” He examined his residual limb. “It’s weird having the new one on. The weight feels like my arm should be there… but when I touch it, I expect to feel skin but it feels like plastic instead. It’s.. different,” He tried. “Trying to move it is also a learning curve…” He added, starting to wake up more.
“Do you want to go back to bed?” Grace asked but Simon shook his head. “Did you.. Ask the doc about your dream?” Grace regretted asking it as soon as he said it. Simon reacted calmly though.
“Yeah, I got it addressed. Talked to Adrian and Helen about it some too,” He admitted. “It helped a lot, I think.” He ran his real fingers through his tangled mess of hair. “Ah, I’m gonna run to the bathroom and deal with this,” He said, referring to his hair but looking at his arm liner which was definitely feeling sweaty and gross by that point. He got up and went to the bathroom, as Grace contemplated how Simon seemed to be feeling. He seemed calmer, which was good. He got up to fix them both a heaping helping of Eridian manufactured protein shake dinner.
Grace stared at the counter where they had had their romantic moment yesterday. He felt a spike of anxiety pierce through him. Could he have done something wrong? Was Simon actually disappointed that he couldn’t give him a straight answer on going further? Should he have said more? Been more affirmative? He sighed and leaned on the counter, brushing the edge of it that Simon had touched, with his fingertips.
He wished he could have given him a real answer. He was dissappointed in himself for that. And yet, he wouldn’t have changed that little moment of dancing together for the world. He smiled softly to himself remembering just how beautiful Simon was, taking his hand so confidently, how romantic it had been. It made him feel things he never had for anyone before, including all his life back on earth. There were a lot of things he felt about Simon he had never felt for anyone before. That moment in the kitchen had made him so happy. He thought Simon had been happy too…
He wondered if it was something he’d done to cause him to have the bad dream. Or if it was about some terrible experience he had had in his past, that he didn’t feel he could trust Grace with. He wanted him to be able to trust him, but all he could do is his best to show he was trustworthy, and leave the rest up to his friend. He sighed, still wondering in the back of his mind if he was somehow to blame. He brought their flavored nutrient slurry bowls, fresh from the packet, out to the living room. Simon was out there waiting for him, with an episode of one of their shows pulled up. This surprised Grace, but also made him feel a big wave of relief seeing the return of normalcy to their routine. Maybe he had been worried for nothing, or just overreacting.
It looked like Simon had taken a really quick shower. He smelled nice as he sat the food bowls down and sat next to him. He noticed he was wearing Grace’s black ‘I had potential’ T shirt. It was a little more fitted on the broader chested Simon, but it made Grace smile. He had turned on a little lamp in the corner and was giving off a soft warm light.
This reminded Grace he was still in his teacher clothes, so he left the bowls, ran back to switch into comfy clothes and returned to the livingroom, sitting down. It looked like something was on Simon’s mind but it seemed maybe he was too tired to talk about it.
“You found my T shirts,” The freshly pajama-ed man offered a smile.
“Oh, yeah, I hope that was okay… I think I need to do laundry,” He said in a low, tired tone.
“For sure, it looks better on you than it does on me,” The man with the messy blonde hair joked. Simon smirked sleepily but with good humor.
“I’d beg to differ,” he said in that low voice of his. Grace blushed a little as he hit play on their show and ate their food.
Simon looked at the episode of Doctor Who they had been watching. “Hey… why are all the aliens in shows like this just people in suits or with face things stuck on?” He asked. Grace shrugged.
“Probably easier to do, considering budget constraints. I mean come on, making a show with an alien that looks like Rocky would probably cost, like, 248 million dollars or something,” He laughed.
“I have no concept for how much that is on earth, but I’m gonna assume that’s a lot,” The dark haired man shrugged. He looked over at Grace who was noticeably giving him space. He knew why. He contemplated how to go about what he wanted to do next. Simon leaned over and hugged him tightly. He muttered apologetically over Grace’s shoulder.
“Sorry for this morning… I was pretty freaked out… I didn’t mean to take that out on you,” He spoke softly. Grace hugged him back, in surprise and relief. “I’m just glad you’re doing okay… I was kinda worried I had done something that upset you…” he admitted. Simon shook his head.
“That would be pretty difficult for you to manage,” The man with the shining dark eyes spoke warmly. Grace seized the opportunity and took Simon’s hand, placing it on the blonde man’s heart, pressing it against his chest.
“I want you to know… You can tell me anything.” Grace declared. Simon stared at him. “You never have to if you don’t want to,” He added. “But you can.” He made a small, kind expression. Wrapping his fingers around Simon’s hand, then leaning his forehead against his companion’s. He lifted his eyes, meeting the dark eyes watching him in adoration and wonder, and decided to kiss him softly.
The scientist wanted to lead more. He wanted to show he was interested. He didn’t want to leave any ambiguity as to how he felt about Simon. He didn’t ever want him to doubt or feel frozen out again. This time, it was Simon that hesitated, he pulled away from him before their lips could meet.
“Ryland..” He said in that low voice of his. He turned to the laptop and paused the show, looking down and sighing.
“Did I do something wrong?” Grace’s expression fell, making Simon’s heart sink even further. He shook his head.
“No. Not at all.” He said definitively, holding his hand to reassure him. “It’s just that… There’s something I should tell you..” Simon looked deeply conflicted. He thought he had had enough truth for one day. He wanted to be able to just shut the door again and have a normal night together. But the hinges were busted and the blood was already soaking the carpet. He couldn’t live with himself, letting Ryland continue to give him this wonderful love that he knew he didn’t deserve. Not without knowing the whole truth.
“What is it?” Grace looked taken aback by this, but resolved himself for whatever he was about to hear. Simon looked at his kind face, at his bright, hopeful blue eyes, his gentle nature, his seemingly innate trust in him. The convict’s lips tightened. He became tense. He couldn’t look him in those eyes. It would hurt too much to watch his heart break.
He looked away and placed a hand on his own knee, gripping it for security as he took a deep breath. “Ryland… You know… That first night? After I woke up?” A hive of anxiety began to buzz in his chest. Grace nodded. Simon winced in anticipation.
“...Do you remember the question you asked me… Before we went to sleep that night?” Simon asked. Grace thought about it.
“What? About you…. being a….” There was recognition in his blue eyes. “Murderer…?” Grace said, with dawning realization.
There was a long pause between them. The convict glanced at the school teacher and watched his face fall. Simon suddenly felt the onset of terror, like he was being stabbed in the gut. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do this. He started to panic. He shouldn’t have looked up. He stood up, keeping his head down.
“Sorry…! I-I can’t do this!” was all the convict could say before he ran out of the house. He was dizzy, and sweating. It was dark outside and he couldn’t see well. In his disoriented state he tripped down the stairs, smashing his shoulder hard against the edge of the stone steps falling downhill, tumbling down the hill off the landing where the stairs turned to the side. His senses were a blur. He felt like he was gonna be sick, as pain erupted from his shoulder that connected to his residual limb, but all he could see was that look of shock and disappointment on Grace’s face. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. He knew it was going to be bad. He knew Grace would never see him the same way again. He had lied. He had lied. He was a liar, he had butchered his attempt to tell him.
It had gone so well with Adrian and Helen it gave him the false confidence that he was ready to tell Grace. Now the cat was out of the bag, and he had ruined everything. He just ran. He didn’t know where he was running to, he just had to get out of there. He was a bottle of adrenaline. His shoulder was flaring with pain that brought on a blinding white rage. He thought back to his life at Eden. In prison. In the Iron Lung. He thought about everything he hated. He thought of all the anger his lack of choices filled him with. He hated himself. He hated the monster they had turned him into. He hated the Butcher he had been forced to become. He couldn’t think clearly. There was only one place he thought to go. There was only one place to direct the rage.
He stormed down to the tunnel that he hated so much. That kept him guessing. That filled him with fear and poisoned the memories he had been striving to make with Grace. He opened it and knew exactly where to go. He came upon the turn to the Iron Lung bay. He was too pissed off to be afraid of it this time. He opened the door to the taboo hall and stormed down it. He saw the wretched hull through the glass window. He walked up to the double vaulted seal door and let himself inside, closing it behind him, then entering the redundancy chamber, closing it behind him. He was sprayed with a shower of some kind of decontaminating chemical but he just walked past it as he went through the final door that let him into that damned room with the remains of everything he hated about himself.
He walked up to the jagged wretched thing. He saw a loose, long flat piece of Iron hanging off the side of the thing. He saw it and just saw red. With all the strength in his body, injured shoulder be damned, he braced his leg on the side of the craft and began pulling and twisting it, straining until the veins in his neck bulged, screaming out a cry of primal rage as the thick piece of iron was forced to bend until its innately brittle nature was forced to submit to his will, and broke free, nearly knocking him over in the process. With the long flat sturdy piece of iron held tightly like a bat in his hand, he began to bang on the side of the wreck and scream.
“I HATE YOU!!!” He bashed the side of it with a CLANG until a dent began forming. He heard the voice of the father in his head. You have finally done something worthwhile, my Son… The image of the soldier’s lifeless corpse twisted in a pool of blood as he towered over it, a heaving abomination. “I HAAATE YOU!!!” He smashed something that looked like an electrical box off the side and it caused a brief cascade of sparks to fly about haphazardly. He heard the voice of his mother. Don’t be like that Simon.. You’ll thank me for this one day…
“I HATE WHAT YOU TURNED ME INTO!!!” He smashed something else, causing the vessel to groan as the strikes echoed throughout the hollow interior. “I NEVER ASKED TO BE THE BUTCHER!!!” He leaned back and struck the sample taking appendage on the front with all his might, causing Jack's fateful final welds to crack under the stress. The pain erupting from his shoulder only pissed him off more. He screamed recoiling as he touched his injured shoulder that connected to his residual limb.
“GOD DAMN IT!!! GOD DAMN YOU!!!” He screamed until his vocal chords stung. He remembered his brothers beating him and leaving him for dead. “I WARNED YOU AND YOU WOULDN’T LISTEN!!!” He remembered watching the explosion as the prison ship hauled him away, the instant all his brothers were incinerated in a single second. He struck it again causing the metal to scrape so loud his ears hurt. “I NEVER ASKED FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHY DO I STILL GET THE SCAR!?!?!!” He remembered being waterboarded by the soldiers of the Consolidation, unrelenting no matter how much he begged. He heard the voice of Ava. Not everyone gets to be saved!!
“FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOUUU!!!” He tackled the sample appendage with such force, and strained with all the might his body would allow, bare feet being dug into by the rocks of the ground below him, until he twisted and tore it from its place at the front of the craft, and threw it, broken on the ground. He stared at the piece of bone clutched in its metallic jaw. He heard the voice of the Eel.
Maybe you do deserve this….
He screamed as he bashed at the piece of bone that sentenced him to death. That plagued his life. That poisoned his blood and left him as an active threat to the only thing he had ever come to love, probably for the rest of his life.
“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEEAAAD!!! YOU DIRTY ROTTEN STINKING PIECE OF AHHHHHH!!!” He was filled with so much anger he just kept wailing on the thing with the piece of metal. He struck it with all his force, again, and again, and again, until a several feet long chunk of solid bone was becoming fragments and powder. Until his hand was beginning to be cut by the jagged piece of rusted iron. He felt the hot wet blood dripping down his forearm but he didn’t care.
He panted heavily, staring at the pile of bone. He was soaked in sweat. His shoulder was throbbing in pain. His hand stung with bits of rusty jagged iron in it. His lungs stung after all the strain. He stared at the wreckage in the cold alien light that shined on it. His muscles stopped responding. The piece of metal fell from his bloody hand, landing with a clanging on the stone. His knees began to give out as he dropped to the rocky ground, the knees of his pants getting torn in the process as sharp stones dug into his knees. The pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling. Pain was something he understood far better than a place like this. Before Erid, pain was his only home.
More tears he didn’t know he had to shed, fell from his eyes. He heaved as his body suddenly felt so heavy. He began to sob as the adrenaline began to subside.
“I… hate… you…!” He managed to weakly get out of his throat, between sobs. “I-I hate… me…” He bowed his head and cried, a heavy, ugly, despairing cry.
The lonely man wailed with despair. He gathered up some loose rocks weakly in his bloody hand and chucked them at the craft with what little strength of anger he had left in one sweeping resentful motion. The stones hit the side of the metal beast with a cascade of empty ringing clangs as he wept. The Iron Lung remained there. Cold, unfeeling. Damaged, but undaunted.
Simon thought back to Grace. The blonde tall man in the mental health bay, arms outstretched, haloed by artificial sunlight. The man that held him when he cried. Taking his hand when he needed reassurance. His gentle fingers holding his damp hair as he carefully tugged out the snarls. The way they danced together in their socks in the kitchen. Enveloping him in a blanket of kindness and security and humor at every turn. The saint had given him months worth of his own precious blood, even bone marrow before he had ever spoken a word to him… Yet, Simon had lied to his face. Yet he pretended like his past didn’t change anything. He felt like he could get away with being with him, without telling him the whole truth. He was a liar. He was a fraud. He didn’t deserve Grace… He didn’t deserve anything…
All that was ruined now. He didn’t know how he could face him. He wasn’t ready. He remembered the split second he saw his face fall, he knew his fate was sealed. He stared at the dented, ramshackled iron tomb before him. Blood dripped from his shaky, lacerated hand, the thick red liquid began to pool in the lines and crevices of the rocky ground below him.
“Sometimes, there just aren’t enough rocks, huh.” A voice from behind him said.
Simon turned to look behind him and saw a tall red space suit, standing at the door of the chamber, watching him. Simon whimpered and began to cry, too fatigued to do anything else. The red suit walked up, knelt beside him, and embraced him tightly as he sobbed on the ground, shaking his head.
Grace rocked him gently as he wept and bled on the ground outside the wretched twisted wreck of the Iron Lung.
Plz read my realistic romance scifi fanfic about these two traumatized hunks falling in love... ( I literally subsist upon validation and clipstudio paint T.T )
Trigger warnings for allusions to SA & Descriptions of Gore
Summary: Simon has to begin the process of confronting everything he's been afraid to tell Grace. The convict also finally gets fitted for his prosthetic arm! We learn some new things about Helen. Everybody has secrets. Some are darker than others...
Read in full for free on Royal Road
Read in full for free on A03
After their impromptu soiree, they both decided they were pretty tired and wanted to turn in for the night. They got ready for bed, Grace returned to his bedroom to get comfortable. Simon went to follow him but felt himself stop in the hallway as he was about to reach for the curtain. He hesitated, wondering if he had been pressuring Grace to move too quickly. Now felt like he was imposing somehow, by assuming it would be okay to sleep together again. He lowered his hand and was about to go back to his own room, when Grace moved the curtain and poked his head out.
“You coming?” Ryland smiled warmly, hoping he would join him again. Simon hesitated, wanting to, but in the end he replied, “Actually… I think I’m going to sleep in my room tonight,” He said, looking away from him. “I think I have this knot in my back that I think just being able to sprawl out for a night will fix,” Grace looked disappointed but quickly shook it off and nodded. “Well that’s okay, maybe another time or something.” he said with lighthearted understanding. “Sweet dreams!” He hugged him, wishing his friend a good sleep before going to bed himself.
Simon on the other hand was up for some hours, tossing and turning for a long time, lost in an anxious thought spiral. His demons of self doubt were eating him up alive. He hated himself. He didn’t know why he lied to Grace. He probably knew he was lying and was glad he refused him. What if he hated him now? What if he never wanted to sleep together again? He bet that he had made him really uncomfortable earlier. He shouldn’t have kissed him out of the blue like that. He should have stopped sooner. He should have asked more questions… He really was a selfish bastard….
Simon watched Grace standing next to the kitchen counter, practically in the dark save for one odd overhead light shining down from above him, coldly. He was preparing dinner for himself. He looked back and saw Simon and smiled, offering him some. Simon pushed the food away and kissed him. Grace smiled awkwardly and looked away, going to pick up the food again, before Simon grabbed him and kissed him again. Grace told him to stop. He didn’t. Grace kept insisting that he stop. He didn’t. The darkness of the liminal kitchen began to swallow them up as he heard Grace’s voice kept repeating the word, getting progressively more frightened. Stop... Stop. Stop! SIMON STOP!!!-
Suddenly Simon was there again. Dreaming. Floating in that dark place with that dimming grey light. He was filled with anxiety this time. He felt he shouldn’t be there. This time he felt the figure lurking in the dark long before he saw it. It seemed to speak louder than before.
“...Butcherrrr….” It whispered in a thousand slimy tongues. “You know what you are, Butcher…” Simon covered his ears but it made no difference at all, the tongues were in his brain. They didn’t feel distant. They felt very real and inescapable. “There is no running from what you truly areeee… Ssssimon….” Simon shook his head trying to shake the voice from his brain, to no avail.
“You don’t know me!!” He tried to call out in the suffocating space where he floated in darkness.
“Oh but I do…” The voice spoke with a low growl that reverberated unnaturally through his body as the figure of some unknowable abyssal creature circled around him like a shark playing with its food. “I know you Simon…. Better than anyone… The Convict… The Brother… The BUTCHER..!!” The last word screamed out as an echo within his mind. There were flashes of the explosion on Filament Station. The screams of his brothers that were snuffed out in an instant. “You destroy all that you touch… And leave carnage in your wake…” He remembered the X ray image of the 3 skeletons his recklessness had irradiated. He heard the voice of Ava, screaming at someone to force a dying man to stand in order to prepare a sub that might come save him.
“That’s not me anymore!! I left that behind!! I’m a new man!” He shouted, clawing at his scalp trying to get the voice out of his head. “You can’t make me go back!! I’m never going back!!!” he screamed out into an unfeeling void. It cackled wickedly with a hundred different mouths, swirling all around him like a pack of hyenas being drowned by the droning of a blue whale from within the folds of his psyche, the pitch making his ears feel like they were going to bleed.
“You are the same… pathetic weakling you have always been…” It spat with condescension and contempt. You really think the Scientist can save you?? You really think someone else can pay your toll for redemption…?” It laughed that wicked laugh. “How selfish of you Simon… You always have been…” the titanic creature lashed the edge of Simon’s ever dimming illumination with a quick blur of eyes and tentacles and angry hateful teeth.
“So quick to pass the burden to someone elsssse…” It hissed. Simon panted in the hideous choking void he was trapped in. The faint light he was emitting kept dimming. Allowing the darkness to encroach closer and closer to him, causing his anxiety to grow in his stomach like a nasty horde of buzzing crawling insects infecting his slurry of guts and viscera as their hive, as the tendrils got closer.
“The tighter you cling to your precious Grace, the further you shall fall from it…” It whispered like it was right behind him in the dark. “We are getting impatient…” It said in a whisper the a void, right beside his ear. His eyes shot open wide as he was paralyzed with fear. “You know you don’t belong here….” He couldn’t move. He felt something so gigantic waiting there, just behind him, in the dark. “The tighter you cling to that life preserver of yours… The quicker you will drown him…” It spoke slowly and salaciously as if it found the wretched words delicious. “And you will… Drown him… Simon….” He saw the dark shadows of tendrils begin to surround him. He saw flashes of his vision from the Hail Mary, Grace’s eyes gouged into two dark holes dripping with blood, screaming in agony and betrayal.
Simon fought it with all his might. This isn’t real. He tried to think.
“You’ve only yourself to blame… You haven’t changed… You’ve done what you’ve always done.. You lie to yourself, and to the one you claim to care for most…. You told him you weren’t a murderer from the very first day…” It rasped an unearthly rattle of a laugh. “You’re a liarrrr…”
He was frozen when he saw the long black silhouette of giant teeth appearing above and below him. Like it was about to swallow him whole.
“There isn’t enough cutting they can do to separate the monster from inside you Simon…” it hissed with disgust. “Because it is you.” He looked down and his missing arm was unraveled, pulsing webs of blood and curdled black clotting were crawling up his body, corrupting him more and more. “You are one of ussss..” It hissed angrily at his defiance. “You can’t escape your destiny… You cannot continue this farce… You know you are unworthy…. You know YOU are the monster here… Trying to stay, will obliterate every shard of happiness you have attempted to gather here through your own inevitable folly….” It cackled. “He will find out what you are…” Simon saw a distant image of Grace across from him in the dark. Looking betrayed. Devastated. Revolted. Simon felt his body being overtaken by the living blood again, the void filling with it.
“He will find out what you have done…. And you will fulfill the destiny that befits your lot… You will butcher him just like all the others.” The silhouetted jaws around him began to shut, swallowing him up as he struggled to reach out towards Grace. Grace flinched and looked at him like he was a monster already.
“No…!” Simon tried to shout but no words would come out. “No, just take me…! Just take me instead!!” Grace began to thrash about and drown as the blood began to swallow him up, screaming in horrific agony. “NO!! NO STOP IT!!” He screamed as the jaws snapped shut around him.
“TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!!” He shot up out of bed, panting in a cold sweat. Simon’s face looked pale and sickly, with dark circles under his eyes.
He was awake. He was in his room. He was nearly hyperventilating by the time he woke up. The convict examined his body, looking all over for the blood clotting, but found none, sighing with relief. He swallowed hard and ran a hand through his sweat soaked hair. He felt his hand trembling, physically shaken by what he had just experienced.
It might have been the worst nightmare he had ever had. He looked up at the window and it was an overcast day. It felt like early morning but he wasn’t sure. Suddenly his curtain was thrown to the side as a disoriented, half asleep Grace ran into the room, tripping on the bed and falling onto the mattress, then scrambling to right himself as he stammered.
“Simon!? Simon what’s wrong, are you okay!?” He squinted, trying to get his freshly awakened eyes to focus. The goofy blonde groggily reached out to touch his arm, and Simon flinched viscerally, as if something inside him was contagious and he didn’t want to infect him.
“D-DON’T TOUCH ME!!!” He instantly pulled away and shrank to the other side of the bed, terrified.
Grace’s face fell, and he relented, pulling his hand away to not freak him out more. “Sorry..!”
Simon winced, feeling horrible, worse than the night after he had his panic attack. “No… No I’m sorry,” He backpedaled. “I-I think I just had a nightmare… That’s all.” he rubbed his eyes. “I’m okay, sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you,” Grace softened.
“It’s okay,” He replied calmly. “You were freaked out.” He looked at Simon with worry. He was disheveled and looked pale. “It must have been quite the doozy,” He lifted his hand instinctively to touch him again but he stopped himself and put it back down. “Can I get you water or anything??”
Simon saw what he just did and tried to shake off this feeling and act more normal to not scare Grace, but he couldn’t stop shaking. He went to take Ryland’s hand but there was a painful urge to keep away. Like something in his body screamed that he was dangerous and not safe to be around. He felt like shit. He felt like a monster. He recalled the sound of Rylands' terrified screams from the dream. Begging him to stop. The convict couldn’t stand to even think about that part. It was so terrible...
He remembered what Louie told him. He was contaminated. Maybe the dream was a sign of some kind that he needed to put a little distance between him and Grace. That maybe there was something even medically wrong. Whatever infected blood shit floating around in him still acting up in some freaky fucked up way. It had to be.
He winced. Simon couldn’t bear to look at Grace. He felt disgusted with himself that his brain could even cook up such a terrible thought. It had to be the Eel… I could never do that… could I…?” He was so scared of himself he was shaking but he tried to hide it. He took a deep breath.
“That’s alright.. I’m alright…” He hugged his legs with his arm looking haunted. “I think… I’ll bring it up at my doctor appointment today…” He said, unable to look at Grace at that moment. Feeling dirty and unworthy.
“That’s a good idea,” The blonde man agreed, looking worried. “Should I cancel class today? I can go with you-” He began but Simon raised a hand to wave the notion away.
“No. No, don't do that.” He shook his head. “I think I just need some time… Plus I’m meeting up with Adrian to give her the files for the digital Garden mockup so they can keep up work on the project.” He couldn’t look at him.
Grace’s heart ached. All he wanted was to hug him and console him and tell him it was going to be okay, but that wasn’t what Simon seemed to need right now. “Can I ask..” he tried to find the words. “Do you want to talk about it? The dream?” Simon shut his eyes and shook his head.
“I… It’s..” Trying to think about it hurt him. “I-I don’t… want to..” He exhaled shakily. “N-not now....” He bowed his head and buried his eyes in his forearm, the memory of things so devastating to him so fresh in his mind. “I don’t want to even describe it…” Despite it only having been a dream, he felt like he had just done this horrible thing, and the image and sound of it were still so vivid in his mind he felt like if he kept dwelling on it he was going to be sick. “I-I don’t want to…” He shook his head, on the verge of tears, wishing it would just go away.
Suddenly he felt heavy fabric being cast over his head. He pulled it off with surprise and looked at it. It was Grace’s big colorful earth quilt he had brought with him.
“... When I have bad dreams, or when I was freaking out alone on the Hail Mary, I would burrito the heck up in that thing and it makes me feel 1000% better.” Grace offered. It was the best thing he could think of.
Unable to look at Grace, he clutched it in his shaking hand, and took a deep breath keeping the tears at bay. He offered a small grateful nod, appreciating it more than he will ever know. He wrapped it tightly around himself, and it felt like a warm secure hug.
“Thank you…” The convict buried himself in it up to his eyes. “This helps a lot…” He closed his eyes. It even smelled safe like Ryland. Grace was just relieved a bit to have found some small way to help him cope with whatever he had seen in his dream.
That morning was quiet between them. Simon insisted Grace go ahead with class, and he got ready for his appointment with Vivian. Grace went to step out the door, and stopped, and turned back to look at Simon, who was putting his shoes on getting ready to go.
“Hey, Simon?" he said. Simon managed to calm down enough to be able to look at Grace at that point. He looked up at him. Grace took a step toward him, but stopped, “I’ll see you when I get back home… I hope you feel better soon!” He said, meaning it. He waffled for a moment, trying to think of a sign of non-physical reassurance, before settling on blowing him a kiss, before hurrying out the door. (He was facepalming at how weird that was before he was even down the stairs.)
Simon held his face in his hands. “Dammit Grace…” He sighed in agony. “You’re the fucking best…” He ached over how adorable he was. Despite how shitty he was feeling, it did actually make him feel just a tiny bit better.
He appeared at Medbay where Vivian was waiting with excitement, along with Helen.
“Simon human!! Welcome welcome welcome!!” He approached him quickly, ushering him to the medical table to sit down, where Armanda was standing by.
“Um. Hi,” He managed, sounding real low.
“Friend Simon, okay?” She asked, scuttling up to him in her exosuit. Simon looked away, feeling cagey about what was bothering him.
“Yeah… um, can we do the prosthetic stuff first?” He thought that some time to get up the courage would help.
“Amaze amaze amaze!” Vivian exclaimed excitedly. He was chomping at the bit to talk about his latest project. Armanda presented the prosthetic, that resembled something like carbon fiber. It was sturdy and decently detailed. Simon had to admit it looked pretty cool. He flinched as Vivian, the greenish rock was inspecting his partial arm.
“Good good good heal!!” Vivian admired his handiwork. “Vivian do good!!” As he said this, Helen walked up, presenting a cuff that resembled silicone that matched the shape of his arm stump. Vivian trilled with excitement as he began to explain.
“Prosthetic work by using suction!! Require layers to stay on! This begin hardware trial! Will advance eventually to potential greater cybernetic control!!!” He exclaimed raising his forelimbs and shaking his claws to express its immense coolness. Helen mimicked him excitedly. “For now! Bionics! Myoelectric control!! Behold! The custom Silicone liner!!” Helen and Armanda began helping Simon put on the silicone liner for the first time. It was custom fit to his residual limb, with a metal pin at the bottom on the outside, that they rolled onto his arm for a snug fit. Then they took the prosthetic itself, and aligned a locking mechanism on the open end of the arm, with the pin on the silicone liner, slowly turned a valve that let out the air between the prosthetic and the liner, until it clicked into place in the mechanism, then secured it with a latch. Then, there were parts on the end of the prosthetic that had the ability to attach to a harness to help it stay on securely in conjunction with the suction and pin latch. It was intended for if he was planning on using it to lift heavier objects. There was also an electro sensitive band that they put around the flesh part of his arm that had a wire that communicated with the prosthesis.
Simon marveled at the piece of equipment.
“Plan is Simon adjust to new limb! Determine comfortability and friction points!! Adjust accordingly until comfortable!!” Vivian explained, feeling all too proud of himself.
“Important Simon keep arm and liner clean! Every day! Very important!! Fragile delicate irritable human skin very vulnerable to friction,” Helen said, in a little too much detail. They both explained more about how to try movement. About how there were sensors that helped intuit movement based on certain gestures he could do. It was actually pretty fascinating how the Eridians took the prosthetic tech from the earth laptops, and retroactively rebuilt similar concepts with Eridian materials and technology.
“It’s a little snug… It’ll take some getting used to…” Simon said.
“Yes, to be expected,” Vivian acknowledged. “Will adjust with time,”
“Now on to tests!!” Helen excitedly galloped about, bringing out a table of objects for him to try to grasp to get used to the movement.
“To move arm, Simon will flex different muscles in residual limb! Different muscles will tell arm what to do!!” Vivian declared.
They went on like this for awhile, trying different things, taking breaks, tweaking things, trying again, etc. Eventually Simon felt he had gotten the basics down, and they made plans for checkups and opportunities for adjustments.
Eventually the prosthetic end of the visit began to draw to a close, and Simon gathered the courage to ask for something strange.
“Hey um… Louie told me everything… About my blood and stuff…” He looked down. “I’ve been having some weird dreams… um..” He sighed. “I was wondering if you could have a look at it and see if there’s anything.. I dunno.. Weird? Weirder? Going on with it.”
Vivian listened to his request and tilted his carapace back and forth before tamping a leg on the ground. “Understand.”
They had Armanda draw some blood and they looked at it under an Eridian microscope.
“No immediate anomalies.” Vivian observed. “Will perform tests and check back in with Simon at next checkup, yes?” Simon nodded. “Good good good.”
“Thanks…” Simon walked to the door, when Helen walked up to him.
“Simon go see Adrian now, Yes?” She asked. He nodded. “Helen come too?” She asked. He nodded. They walked together back toward the house.
“Simon very sad… Simon have bad dream?” She asked.
“.... How did you know??” He asked in surprise.
“Helen watch Simon sleep many many times,” She said. “Can tell.” She whistled. “Human call… intuition,” She tried to explain it in words he could understand. “Helen need tell Simon, Helen knows….”
“Knows… what…?” He cringed a little nervously as he walked. She stopped and pointed an orangish pink digit at him.
“Simon… Is good human!” She patted his leg bombastically. “Knows all along. Even before happy awake day, Helen knows.”
“How could you possibly know that?” He asked, incredulously, thinking she’s just being nice.
“Easy!” She trilled. “Helen listen to Simon’s heart. Many hours. Many days. Helen knows Simon's heart very well.” She spoke honestly, like she knew what she was talking about. “Helen watch Simon dream. Simon Cry. Dream. Cry more. Seek understand. Research. Conclude,” She gesticulated with her forelimbs as she spoke. “Bad human no cry so much. No feel sad. Want make big hurt on others. Or not care. Good human have big strong heart. Feel many big things inside.” She stood up on her hind appendages so she could reach up and tap his heart twice before lowering herself down. “Simon have big strong heart.” She declared. “Helen notice Simon cry less when not alone. Helen try make sure Simon never alone when sleep…” She poked her claws together meekly. “Until awake day. Then Simon go away…” She sounded sad for a moment, before returning to her more upbeat self. “Then Helen see Simon happy happy! Make Grace happy happy!”
Simon stared at the little orangish pink rock in surprise. She cared that much about him. Spent hours, maybe even days with him while in the coma. He looked at her with admiration.
“I… Appreciate you trying to make me feel better… And for keeping an eye-or uh, listening? Organ?” He tried. “on me while I was asleep… It was very thoughtful.” He didn’t exactly know what to say, but he decided to appreciate her attempt to call him a good person.
“Helen watch Simon sleep anytime!” She proclaimed. He blushed a little and scratched the back of his neck. “Uh.. Thanks… for the offer.”
She made a bunch of bubbly noises then patted his leg. “No worries!! Helen also knows Simon not mean to yell at Grace!!” She added.
There was a silence before Simon stared at her. She went quiet realizing what she said.
“Wait a second…. Have you been spying on me??” Simon asked confused.
Helen froze then crouched into a shy position. “.... Not… all time…” she made some tiny beeps and boops sounds. He stared at her flabbergasted.
“Why??” He looked uncomfortable.
“Not all time!!” She tried to say, knowing full well how humans care about privacy. “Helen watch record camera inside hall to Hail Mary!! For fun!! See Simon carry Grace!! Run fast fast!! Helen worry Grace is injure!! Come to help!! See no injure….” She tapped her digits together shyly. “Helen stay… because miss watching Simon…” she said dejectedly. “Then Simon Grace amuse!! Keep watching….”
Simon rubbed his face exasperatedly and sighed. “I'm sure you didn't mean any harm by it … but…” he looked out at the ocean as they stood on the beach. “It's invasive… and not nice...”
“Understand…” she made a sad noise. “Apology…” Simon stared at the rock being. He kicked some sand out toward the ocean and sighed, watching the artificial waves splash against the shore.
“You think…. I freaked him out..?” He asked. He was too tired to be mad over the invasion of privacy. He knew that there wasn’t an Eridian there that seemed to have any motivation to do anything actually harmful or malicious. It was weird, a little uncomfortable maybe. But maybe in a weird way, it did kinda make him feel safe. He wasn’t used to having anybody watching out for him at all.
“Grace worry about you…” She said. He sighed.
“I know..” He looked down at his new arm, making a gesture that would flip it over so it would be palm side up, trying to get used to this new foreign object as an extension of himself. “I just…” He tried to speak the words that had been buzzing around inside of him for so long. “I just don’t want him to be scared of me…” Emotion got caught in his throat as he said it. “Sometimes…” He looked down. “Sometimes…. I get scared of myself…”
“Why, question?” Helen asked. She kicked the sand with one of her limbs to mimic him.
He thought to himself. He thought about the memories of what ended up happening to him toward the end. He watched himself become a monster. He remembered feeling suffocated, enveloped in a disgusting fleshy pile of tissues, he felt the bonds between his cells begin to break down as it tried to absorb him into its essence as it forced him to fuse with it no matter how hard fought it. He hated it for that. He hated that there wasn’t anything he could do to make it stop. He remembered so much anger building up inside of him. He remembered being overtaken by a pure white burning hatred. For the Eel. The COI. Eden. The world that sent him to die. Most of all, hatred for himself. Of every stupid decision he made that led him there. Of every innumerable circumstance he was unable to avoid.
He remembered the violence that Eden and the COI had done against him. He remembered being tattooed like an animal, like property. He remembered screaming as the COI burned it off. He remembered being waterboarded under the guise of seeking information, but he knew the COI soldiers were just angry and were looking for someone to take it out on. He remembered begging his brothers to stop what was coming but it fell on deaf ears. He remembered the instant after the explosion. He remembered the numbness overtaking the cavity in his chest as he learned almost everyone he had grown up alongside had gone out in an instant like flipping a light switch. The world had just become an empty hollow colorless blur of noise and shadows. He couldn’t feel anything for days after that. It felt so unreal he didn’t even have the ability to cry for them.
He had a lot of conflicting feelings about those he lost at Eden. He hated them… But they were also like family… They abused him… But they were also his only comfort. It confused him, and made it hard for him to open up to others. He didn’t know what his mother was thinking when she bought into Eden’s lies. Leaving Mars, taking them away to some place she thought would be better. For some Cult. Where everyone felt… off. Where he was always to blame for everything he did wrong, even by accident. Anything good he did was a credit to the Last Tree’s divine protection and blessing. His mother had insisted he would understand one day.
But then came the Quiet Rapture. And that day never came. Then she died. Leaving him there stranded, alone with a bunch of religious fanatics that tattooed him and barked orders at him like he was an obedient dog.
Simon hadn’t thought much about then since he woke up on Erid. He thought he could just shut the door and forget about everything that he was before. Grace didn’t need to know what he was. He didn’t need to know the worst of him. He didn’t want him to know. If he knew, what he had seen… what he’d done… all the people they made him hurt with his wretched hands… How could he ever touch Grace again…? With all the blood on his hands….
He tightened his fist. Standing on this beach. Hearing the wash of this ocean. In a place he had no right to belong. Maybe he was deluding himself all this time. Pretending it didn’t matter… That he could just stay here with Grace.. That he would never have to look back. He looked up the beach, where they had sat together and laughed. He remembered watching Grace get dressed yesterday. Committing to memory every perfect angelic inch of him. Every kind look with those pale blue eyes that made his heart ache every time he smiled at him. Every gentle touch. Every dumb joke or long winded litany about scientific concepts that were far beyond Simon’s understanding. It made him happier than he ever thought he was capable of being…
If whatever contamination from that hell ocean was still in him... If it could spread and take him over… If it could do anything to hurt Grace or worse… Make him hurt Grace… He didn’t deserve to be here. Nothing was worth that risk. He couldn’t let it happen.
“Simon..?” Helen tugged on his pant leg with concern. The convict was snapped out of being worlds away. He looked back down at the little rock creature.
“Sorry…” He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. The ocean breeze blew around his dark hair without a care in the world. He tried to think of an answer to her question.
“Theres.. A lot… I don’t think I deserve… There’s a lot of things that I had done before I ended up here… That I’m not proud of…” He closed his eyes and breathed the fresh air. “Can.. Can I tell you a secret…?”
Helen trilled and tapped her appendages excitedly. “Yes yes, very sneaky, very secret. No tell anyone!”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “I’ve hurt people before…” He winced, like saying it out loud made it real here, in this magical safe haven, but if he kept it inside it would build up in him like a poison. “A lot of people…” He touched his artificial arm. “I-I didn’t want to… I never wanted to… I-I didn’t have a choice…!” His voice trembled as he spoke the words aloud. “I never… never want to hurt anyone again… but I know that it’s possible… because I know what I’m capable of… I know what I’ve done… And…” He sniffed, looking down at his wretched flesh hand as his eyes welled with honest tears. “It.. scares me…” He gripped his carbon fiber wrist nervously.
“... Understand…” Helen said quietly. They stood there together and looked at the ocean waves that seemed to beckon honesty. “Simon no want hurt Grace or Eridians.” She said. He nodded. “Simon is not bad human.”
“But what if I am?” He asked.
“Is not.” She said, definitively. “Helen get lost and fall in hole once.” Simon looked at her confused. “Was there many many days.” She continued. “Deep deep hole. Barely room for move. Walls too smooth and wide at parts for climb out. Calls for help no escape easy, deep in rock. Helen very scared. Had to sleep alone many days….” She trilled, and made a low quiet noise that denoted fear. “Was so scared… Was so lonely… Was anger at self for falling. For not telling others destination…” She lowered herself to rest on the beach. “Helen thought could get out by self… No can…” The waves washed against her exosuit. “Was scared so scared.. So lonely.. Started thinky think rocks in cave were Eridians… Were friends… When real friends find Helen, she strike out very hard, thinking being taken from new hole friends bad bad bad. Hurt one real friend very very bad… Helen feel very bad…” She made a highpitched noise that sank deeply. “Long long time… Even still now…” She made a sad noise.
Simon looked at her with sympathy, sitting on the beach with her. He didn’t know what else to do so he patted her on the carapace, making her make a happy noise.
“It is scary…” He knitted his brows. “When you can’t trust if what’s in front of you is real…” He pursed his lips. “I definitely know what that’s like… I was trapped in that sub at the bottom of the blood ocean for god knows how long…” He sighed. “I saw and heard a lot of things that weren’t there too…” He leaned back on his palm. “Except nobody ever came for me….” he paused before he realized. “Well.. Until Grace and Rocky found me..” He added, gratefully.
“Helen knew!! Helen knew Helen like you!!” She jumped to her many feet with excitement. “Helen knew Simon has big brave heart!!” She pointed at him. “And see! Helen no hurt friends again, once Helen safe after long time. Took long long time to feel safe. Still sometimes is spooked. Is okay! Helen okay!” She cheered. “Simon okay.” She tapped on his arm. “Secret is safe with Helen.” She added, kindly. “Simon still good Human.”
Simon looked at her and gave her a big hug. She made happy beep boop noises. “Thanks Helen… For caring about me..” he said softly. He stood back up.
“I really need to get this flash drive to Adrian now. Still wanna come along??” He smiled, this time inviting her. She hopped up and agreed quickly, hurrying along their way.
Summary: It's still the same night, some boundaries are tested and tasted; things get rather idyllic and wholesome. Simon and Grace should enjoy it while it lasts...
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After their Eridian friends left they made a mad sprint for the kitchen, scarfing down food, being so hungry after not eating all day.
“Oh my God, food is so good!!” Grace gasped between starving bites, leaning against the counter. Simon grunted as he struggled to open his package of food with scissors, one handed. Grace noticed this.
“Wait… Have you been struggling to eat like that this entire time??” The scientist thought back to the other times they had eaten together, usually their routine was to eat dinner watching a movie while watching a movie, Grace was the one that usually had prepared it. The time he caught Simon trying to cover his tracks in the fridge, there were toothmarks all over the packaging, like it had been torn open like a wild animal. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Simon shrugged.
“Figured it’s not your problem I guess,” He stabbed the scissors into the package with frustration and tore the other side with his teeth and finally got it open, taking a bite of the Grace-burger inside, picking a piece of newly developed Eridian plastic-like material from the packaging, from between his teeth.
“We can redesign them so they are easier for you to open, you know,” Grace impressed, but bummed that his friend had been struggling without him knowing.
“Eh, I’m pretty grateful I’m getting food regularly, I’m not really gonna nitpick how it’s packaged,” He took another bite and shrugged. Grace looked at him sympathetically.
“Has Vivian gotten back to you about the prosthetic?” Grace asked.
“I go into Medbay for a fitting for the prototype tomorrow,” Simon replied, causing Grace to get excited and for his eyes to light up.
“Are you excited about it??” He wondered.
“I’ve been able to get by pretty alright, but god will it be nice to have the option,” Simon said with a sigh. “What do you think? It won’t be weird for you will it?” The convict asked, suddenly self conscious.
“Are you kidding!?” Grace reminisced on a childhood dream about getting to high-five the Transformer Optimus Prime and going on cool adventures together with a robot friend. “It’s gonna be so sick to see how they do it!! I wonder if they’ll use a robotic or a more analog, gesture based prosthetic??” The scientist gushed about all the possibilities and material composites they might come up with. Simon blushed and leaned back on the counter, rubbing his own shoulder with a soft smile, enjoying seeing him get fired up about his upgrade.
He thought about how Grace had never looked at him differently for not having both arms. He accepted it as just the detail that it was. He was that way about all of his scars. All of the things that made him look in the mirror and see himself differently since he had gone through his ordeal, never seemed to bother Grace. It made him feel so normal, despite how it affected his ability to do ordinary things like open packages, tie back his hair, or lift things, or even dress himself in the morning. The blonde hunk never seemed to want to overstep and offer help too much, for fear of condescending to his ability, but he was always immediately willing to help if he asked for it. He was so thoughtful that way.
“Hey are you listening?” Grace noticed he hadn’t said anything for a minute. The teacher grew self conscious. “I’m not boring you, am I?? I’ve said it before, really you can tell me to stop infodumping if it’s too much or if I’m boring you-” The blonde was cut off by his companion coming over, leaning against Grace who backed up against to the center kitchen island, and kissing him lovingly, before parting with a smile.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” Simon smirked with a half lidded expression. Grace’s heart rate shot up to one of Erid’s 3 moons. “I like hearing you talk, Ryland” he added. The pink was already starting to take over Grace’s face as he froze instinctively, with a little goofy smile on his face.
“Was.. Was that okay?” Simon hesitated, noticing him freeze and wondering if he had overstepped Grace’s boundaries. They had kissed in the mental health bay and that had seemed fine so he had figured that was okay, but now he doubted himself.
Grace was flooded with memories of that morning where his raven haired companion had instinctively kissed him in his sleep. It made his heart so happy. The words Simon was just saying vaguely entered his consciousness before he realized a question was being asked of him and he snapped out of it, turning bright red.
“Y-yes!” His voice cracked, then he cleared his throat. “I mean yes, that’s fine! Totally fine, yep, don’t even worry about it,” He stammered awkwardly, still very happy about it. His senses were heightened but he was trying to play it cool. Simon chose to believe what Grace told him. He stared at the slightly taller man’s neck, blushing.
“If it’s okay…” Simon looked like he was debating in his head. “Can.. Can I try something…?” The dark haired man asked in a low voice, trying to remind himself to ask first this time, just in case. Grace’s heart leaped. It always did when Simon talked like that. He looked curious and nodded. Simon walked up close to him, put his hand on the small of Grace’s back and gently kissed the side of his neck. It was warm, and soft, and the bristles of Simon’s stubble felt rough against the tender flesh.
Grace broke out in full body chills, goosebumps everywhere. The slightest little unconscious moan escaped from the scientist’s throat as he tightly gripped Simon’s arm in response. He felt a wave of warmth wash over his body as his capillaries dilated throughout his circulatory system. He instinctively covered his mouth to quiet the noise he had made, but he leaned into it.
Simon reached up and took Grace’s hand away from his mouth, moving it to his own waist, as he returned his own hand to Grace’s back to cushion and protect his spine as he leaned him against the rounded counter edge. He looked up to whisper in his ear. “I like hearing you…” Before kissing his neck again.
The tall blonde man’s head was swimming in a cocktail of oxytocin and endorphins, buzzing with enjoyment. He tentatively allowed himself to dissolve into a euphoric haze of magic as he allowed Simon to keep kissing up and down his neck, allowing his head to fall back slightly as he allowed him to do so. The convict steadied Grace with his other half arm, against the scientist’s side, so Grace hooked his hand around underneath his partial arm, hanging off the back of his shoulder for stability.
Simon seemed to enjoy this for a bit until he decided to try gently nibbling on his neck, and seeing that Grace seemed to enjoy it, allowing out another barely audible moan, as he leaned into it a bit more. The dark haired rubbed his back as he decided to attempt a very light bite, with gentle careful teeth, cautious to be alert for Grace’s reaction. The blonde seemed to press his fingers into his back, holding them close together as his heart pounded. Seeing that he seemed to enjoy it he tried the other side of his neck, grazing other areas of his neck with his lips as he moved, driving Grace wild as he leaned his head to the other side to allow him better access. Simon began kissing again, before testing out a slightly tougher bite on the side of his neck.
“A-ah..!” Grace flinched, electrified by his nerves once again, his heart flipping, as he gave a small sharp gasp in surprise at the intense shard of lightning that shot through his body just then. It wasn’t painful. Simon stopped and looked back at Grace’s face to check back in with him. His eyes were half lidded and he seemed to be biting his lip, having gotten wrapped up in the moment before he noticed Simon and became aware of his own expression again and stopped immediately, coming back to his senses and covering his mouth shyly..
“You okay…?” Simon asked in a soft low voice, his eyes shining with care for him. “I can stop if you don’t like it…” he moved so he was hugging him and talking gently in his ear in an attempt to make him feel less self conscious. His hot breath against his ear made the tall man flinch almost as much as the bite did, feeling that surge of adrenaline again, causing the blonde man to pull away slightly and take some deep breaths, though not letting go entirely, squeezing Simon’s strong shoulder as he did so.
“H-how do you do that!?” He panted breathlessly, running a hand through his messy blonde hair trying to calm himself down. “That’s… Wow…”
“Is… that a good wow or…?” Simon was still trying to gauge his comfort line.
“Good wow, great wow, very very great amazing wow,” He shivered and shook his head trying to calm his nerves down again, rubbing his face as he looked upward trying to collect his thoughts with a slight smile on his lips. Simon sighed with relief then smiled back at him.
“Good,” The convict said, resting his arm around his shoulder. “Did you… Want to keep going?” Simon asked tactfully. Grace considered the option, looking very conflicted.
“Y-yes…? No…?” He shut his eyes, beginning to get frustrated with himself. He tried to make himself find the words again but in doing so, he only got more frazzled and his feelings more confused and conflicted, and more unable to get a clear answer as he felt more pressure to communicate while not ruining the mood. Simon saw Grace beginning to get frustrated with himself again, and felt a pang of guilt. He looked down thinking to himself, before getting an idea.
“Stay there,” The one armed ran to the living room and came back with the laptop, looked something up on it, set it on the counter and hit play. A song began to play from the laptop speakers.
The song was “Days Go By” by May Erlewine, and Woody Goss. Grace’s kind blue eyes lit up when he realized what Simon was doing, blushing with awe. Simon reached out with a gentle smile, asking for his hand, who gave it to him willingly, as the tall man put his other arm around Simon’s shoulders, gently laying his head against Simon's dark hair, as they began to sway together, slow dancing to the simple, lovely music.
“I hope this isn't too corny,” Simon said with a hint of shyness in his voice.
“Are you kidding, have you met me?” Ryland laughed. “That’s not something I’m ever worried about. And.. this is… really sweet, actually..” He smiled and hugged him as they danced. “Thank you, Simon,”
“Of course,” The convict smiled. He had seen dancing like this in movies and had been wanting to try it with Grace for a while, but never seemed to find the right moment to bring it up. He was even a little embarrassed about it himself, but was glad that he and Ryland were on the same page. The two of them stood together in their mid sized kitchenette, and just danced together. They danced to a simple song about appreciating the little things about living a life alongside someone they were genuinely fond of.
It wasn’t anything extravagant. It was small, and genuine. Simon tried to spin him once, the height difference making them both laugh a little as Grace had to duck. The scientist was not the most elegant on his feet, but he loved dancing no matter how dorky he may have looked.
The convict’s gambit had worked. His companion was out of his head and smiling happily as he hugged him, swaying in the kitchen together. Seeing Grace that happy, made his heart melt like frost off of spring grass, listening to the words of the song together.
‘Who knows what time is gonna do…? All I know is a single truth… I like watching the days go by with you….’
They had a beautiful evening there just swaying in their socks in the kitchen. Grace bumped into the counter once or twice but Simon pretended not to notice, just enjoying this small simple pleasure in the life they were building together.
Summary: Some fluff before we start diving into the depths of the Iron Lung Arc!
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Read in full for free on Archive Of Our Own
Grace woke up that morning with a yawn as he was roused from his slumber by the lights of dawn shining on his face. He went to move and looked down as Simon, just in sleep shorts, was curled up on his chest, sound asleep, with his arm around his torso. The scientist’s heart leaped as he remembered the events of the day before. He marveled at the memory of Simon passionately kissing him, causing red to burn his cheeks and ears as it warmed his senses to Simon’s touch. It felt so nice. He looked absolutely handsome laying on his chest. He had forgotten to take out his ponytail the night before and it seemed to pull almost completely loose in his sleep causing his hair to take a messy shape. Grace closed his eyes and laid his head back like he was in heaven.
Unfortunately nature called, and then he realized that he couldn’t move without disrupting his dark haired companion’s sleep. He cursed all the water he drank the night before. Also, given the fact that his bed was pushed up against the wall, he would have to crawl over Simon to exit his bedroom. Quite the conundrum indeed. He agonized, truly not wanting to leave this spot, but finding the necessity unavoidable. He would have to make a sneaky escape. He slowly and carefully lifted his arm and gently placed it alongside Simon. Then he slowly, carefully slid himself away from Simon. He nearly had all of himself free, before it almost looked like his one armed companion was making a noise like he was waking up, causing him to freeze, before the slumbering man settled back down and continued snoozing. Grace made a silent sigh of relief, before carefully scooting down the end of the bed vertically to go around Simon, and successfully escaped to the bathroom.
After washing his hands, it was still early Sunday morning where he didn’t have anything to do that day. All he wanted in the world was to crawl back in with his new… he didn’t know what to call them yet but they would get there in time. He snuck back in behind the curtain to his room and saw that Simon had changed positions. He was now completely sprawled out, taking up all his real estate on the bed, and blocking off the route he escaped the bed from; that was his easiest means of egress undetected. He would have to take a riskier approach. He carefully placed a hand and a foot on the side of his bedframe, to avoid shifting the mattress, and tried to very carefully reach his other arm and leg across Simon’s sleeping body, and shift his weight to the other side, to return to his side of the bed, which still had the greatest amount of room remaining.
The plan worked almost flawlessly except his hands were still moist from washing them and his hand slipped from his bedframe and his chest immediately fell onto sleeping Simon, who flinched as he awoke with a start, disoriented. The scientist immediately lifted off of him but the damage seemed to be done. Simon’s eyes darted around blearily, looking up and finding a face staring back at him, as Grace was on all fours on top of him, bright red out of embarrassment.
The moment the half asleep man blinked and allowed his eyes to focus enough to recognize it was Grace’s face inches away from his, he smiled, grabbed him and kissed him lovingly, which caused Grace’s limbs to falter as he gradually let the space between their bodies disappear. The kiss slowly lost steam as Simon began to doze off again, and so reclaimed his captive, embracing him with his arm and a half, and snuggling his cheek against Grace's soft messy blonde hair on his head that fell into the crook of his neck with a sigh.
Grace’s heart was racing, but his mind was blank and his senses were beyond relaxed. This was the best case scenario that came from the worst case scenario. Still he couldn’t get over how attractive Simon was, or how unbelievably cute the interaction had been. The blonde man couldn’t stop smiling. He put his own arm around the beautiful sleeping man and closed his eyes, listening to his heart beat.
I’m so lucky… Was all he could think. He could have never imagined the day before had been real. He relived it in flashes. He listened to Simon’s words of reassurance again and again in his mind, reminding himself that it was real and had happened. Committing them to long term memory so that not a detail was wasted.
With every detail he could remember, and grasp in his mind, the more comfortable he became. The less panicked he became. Because then it wasn't high stakes and frightening. It was firm and familiar. It was something more solid in his mind that he could trust. Best of all, It was warm, and kind, and made his heart flutter.
Grace peeked one of his eyes open and looked at Simon's sleeping face, slowly being illuminated by the dawn. He wanted to remember every detail. Every minute part. The way his skin glistened, the dark scruff on his elegant jaw, how serene he looked with his eyes closed. He remembered the softness and intensity of his eyes yesterday. How expressive they were. How they made his heart melt like a caramel left in the sun. He recalled the things he said in that beautiful voice…
I like you.
You set the pace…
I'd wait a hundred years for you….
Don't ever apologize for the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me…
He sighed. He thought about his words. How could he be worthy of them? He wasn't anything special. He wasn't some gorgeous young starlette in a melodrama. Everything he did for Simon before he woke up is what anyone would do. Try to save him if possible…. Wasn't it?
How could he think that much of me?? He couldn’t fathom it. He just decided he would enjoy this while it lasted. These memories were his to keep, no matter what happened. He would treasure them. He would treasure Simon.
He pursed his mouth and blushed. Savouring the fresh kiss that still lingered on his lips with genuine heartwarming delight.
The next thing they knew there was a gallop of pounding approaching their sleeping area and their curtain was being pushed aside.
“Grace alive!? Question? Simon alive!? Question!?” A familiar generated voice was heard.
The two men who had overslept, began grumbling awake. Simon arose first, who in their sleep had ended up on top of Grace, having cuddled up to his chest, lifted his head groggily.
“What… the fuck…?” Simon mumbled before remembering that on this world sentient rock creatures are just a totally normal every day occurrence, and Rocky, was in fact a friendly. Rocky trilled in excitement.
“Rocky Was Right!! Rocky was right! Rocky knew Grace feel safer have Simon human watch Grace sleep!!” He did a spin then tapped an appendage on the ground. Grace grumbled and rubbed his eyes before recognizing Simon was on top of him, and that Rocky was watching him. He turned bright red.
“R-ROCKY!!” Grace instinctively went to cover himself with his blanket despite being fully clothed in pajamas, meanwhile Simon is just in shorts. “What about the knocking thing!? You got so good at the knocking thing!!!” He demanded in embarrassment. “Remember the talk about having space!?”
“Rocky no see Grace for nearly two whole days!! Rocky and Adrian worry for Grace and Simon… Worry for Danger, statement!”
“Has it been two whole days?” Grace rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. It was noon. “Day and a half, Rock,” he blinked groggily. Simon rolled off of Grace and sat up.
“Simon been watching Grace good, question?” Rocky asked. Simon looked back at Grace remembering the events of yesterday then giving a mild sly smile.
“Yeah.” He glanced at Grace, causing the scientist to freeze up and stammer once more.
“W-well!! As you can see we are still very much alive and totally fine!!” the embarrassed man demanded.
“Rocky and Adrian want hang out with Grace and Simon today, Statement!” The rock crab asked as a heavier scuttling came down the hallway and the blue rock they knew fondly made an appearance.
“Amaze! Simon and Grace not dead!!” She exclaimed happily.
“Hey Adrian,” Simon waved cooly and she waved excitedly back.
“OK! Are we having an impromptu party in my bedroom!? What’s going on!?” Ryland demanded.
“Yes! Yes! Good idea! Party in Bedroom!!” Rocky proclaimed. “Rocky invite Eridian Friends-” He began to get carried away before Grace put his foot down.
“Alright! Everybody out!! Or at least into the livingroom!!” He shook his head in frustration.
“Okay Grace Friend!!” Rocky delightfully galloped into the living room followed by Adrian who paused in the curtainway, as if looking at them, letting out what sounded to be Eridian words they couldn’t understand before she and rocky both seemed to giggle and go into the livingroom.
“... They talking shit about us?” Simon asked.
“Oh they are definitely talking shit about us,” Grace sighed and shook his head exasperatedly.
“DEFINITELY TALKING ABOUT YOU!” Rocky called from the living room.
“What is word shit, question?” Adrian asked politely in the living room. Rocky made an unflattering noise before Adrian made a brief acknowledging response.
Grace turned to Simon with an apologetic expression, silently mouthing the word, “Sorry” Apologizing for his bestie embarrassing him. Simon, after shaking off the effects of a long and needed sleep, seemed rather amused by the situation. The convict just stared at Grace, sitting there in his pajamas, with messy hair, still self conscious about being woken up and walked in on, while in such an intimate position.
Simon was staring at Grace pleasantly, thinking about how cute Ryland looked sitting in the bed they had shared together. Grace looked at him confused. “Simon? You good?”
He blushed and started stretching and looking elsewhere. “Yep! Yep, uh just waking up, that’s all,” He yawned, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, trying to play it off like he hadn’t been staring at the cute man he had gone to bed with. Grace looked relieved that nothing was wrong and that the intrusion didn’t bother him too much.
“Okay good,” Grace got up and went to get a change of clothes. He turned away and took his shirt off to change. Simon stared at all of the red and pink ammonia burn scars on the side of his body. They were worse on his back and side, a lot worse than they initially appeared the first time Grace had showed him. They looked like they must have really hurt, and taken a long time to heal. His heart sank when he imagined Grace in his place on the medbay table not long before he risked his life again to rescue him.
Simon went to take a big drink of water, just as Grace lifted up his arms again and turned as he put on his favorite horseshoe bend auto club t shirt, as Simon got a good look at the front of him and almost did a spit take as he saw how in shape Ryland really was. He never would have guessed by his demeanor, how could he not have noticed it more from what he saw of him the other day?? He coughed a little bit, turning his head away to keep the water down.
“You sure you’re okay?” The blonde man checked again, after the odd noise Simon made. Simon cleared his throat to cover his tracks.
“Yeah! I’m fine it’s just-” He was about to try to tell him how good he looked but he remembered the Eridian’s with the super hearing were in the other room hearing them clear as a bell. “Water down the wrong pipe, that’s all,” His ears were burning.
“Okay cool,” Grace finished getting ready, and put on his glasses, then he turned back to Simon who just stared back at him, still sitting on the bed in his skivvies. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Simon realized.
“Oh, yeah I’m gonna-” Simon began, standing up.
“You gonna go change? Grace said at the same time.
“Yeah- I’m going now,” The convict got up quickly and went into his room and changed, as Grace smirked at the exchange.
Meanwhile in the living room Adrian and Rocky were exchanging some words amongst themselves.
“Rocky think Grace spend too much time with Simon, not enough for Rocky,” He hummed in disapproval.
“Adrian say give space!! Adrian read on laptop is important for human brain sponge for happy! Adrian also read important for humans to have friend! Excite for show human activity.”
“Rocky want ask-” He began but Adrian cut him off with a whistle, and held up a finger on her appendage as if saying ah ah ah! Don’t do that.
“Make human embarrass! Very tricky! Mustn’t interrupt complex alien courtship rituals! Important! So say esteemed human research article from ‘Cosmopolitan magazine’! Very revered human source of courtship information!” Adrian said a low tone quietly, holding up a rock finger, confident in vetting her sources.
“If Adrian say so, then must be true!” Rocky admitted defeat. “Still miss Grace…” He trilled dejectedly.
“Adrian always here for Rocky. Rocky never never lonely!” She made a gesture that indicated a sign of Eridian affection, then gave him a thumbs down, for endearment. Rocky returned her thumbs down lovingly. “Adrian miss Rocky very much while away… Visit launch pad many many nights, waiting, waiting for Rocky come home… Come back to Adrian…” She added with a forlorn affect. There was a pause of two seconds, then Rocky made noises that sounded like a windows 98 computer was booting up while being microwaved on HIGH.
“Adrian Rocky’s favorite!!” He proclaimed with emphasis. “Adrian always Rocky's favorite! More than Grace! Who Grace Even? Rocky know no Grace, Rocky always like Adrian most!!” He pinched his little claws back and forth enthusiastically as he tapped two of his others on the ground to emphasize his point even more. Adrian trilled affectionately, making a sound similar to laughing while gargling water.
“Adrian knows, Adrian always know,” She hooted.
“Aha, so who’s forgetting about me so soon?” Grace said, walking in as Simon was still changing off in his area.
“Grace!!” Rocky acknowledged him. “Rocky and Adrian bring human activity gifts!”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Grace asked, looking down at the rock with his hands on his hips.
Adrian went to a box they had put on the coffee table and took out a bag, and the back had little tiles in it resembling Dominoes, and a set of embossed, durable playing cards with a raised texture on them so that the Eridians can see what they say.
“Oh my gosh you guys!!” Grace marveled as he walked over and picked up the cards. “These are amazing!!” He looked at the ingenuity it took to make them out of a flexible semi-metallic material with such precise and thin tactile detailing. He bent one gently to test it’s flexibility, finding it incredibly durable. It was only iin a metallic greyscale but that was fine with him. He began flipping through them before pausing and bursting out into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Simon asked, finally walking back into the room.
“Eridians replicate earth recreational activities!!” Adrian proclaimed, excited to see Simon, pinching her claws excitedly.
“Really?” Simon asked, approaching to look over snickering Grace’s shoulder. “Like what?” Grace couldn’t hide his amusement as he showed him the standard set of 52 cards. Particularly he had the face cards fanned out in front of him and Simon looked bewildered.
For the Jacks, it was an etching of Rocky’s resemblance, mirrored in a similar fashion to a standard playing card deck art, for the King it was a similar treatment but Grace was the king, surprisingly the Ace was an etching of Adrian, probably for the use of the letter A, (and possibly because it was the highest card in some games) Simon stared at the queen, which was the spitting image of him, immortalized on 4 suits of playing cards.
“Why am I the Queen??” Simon asked confused.
“Is King and Queen not of same value on Earth??” Rocky asked. Simon thought about it for a moment. “You know what, I don’t actually know, Grace?” He turned to Grace who was trying to swallow his laughter, as it couldn’t help but summon an image in his mind of spectacular muscle man Simon in very fetching regal attire, with a sweeping ball gown and bejeweled crown and jewelry. He giggled for a moment but as he considered the details, he began blushing a little as he realized he would probably look fantastic in just about anything he wore. He blinked a second, realizing something new about himself, before he quickly waved the idea away, hoping he wasn’t being rude. Grace cleared his throat.
“Pretty much actually, I think it has to do with who’s born into what family more than which gender of monarch is more important anyhow,” He said, completely missing the point that they were asking about, which was pertaining to the sequential card order, not about monarchical cultural norms of earth. “I just thought they were really cute that’s all,” He smiled at his friend's attention to detail, handing them to Simon to look at before he looked through the box some more, finding dice and dominoes and other little things. “Thanks you two, this was really thoughtful!!”
Simon looked at the detail, thinking it was a rather handsome rendering of himself, not displeased with the outcome.
“Adrian, Rocky, Simon, Grace now can now enjoy earth recreation together!!” Adrian exclaimed with excitement.
The four of them went on to have a long and interesting afternoon getting familiarized with some group games they could play together, Grace trying to catch Rocky cheating, rules being argued over, confused and eventually settled upon to agree to disagree. It was eventful and a lot of fun, to be continued another day. Grace perished the thought of how they would vivisect the idea of Monopoly and decided to keep that idea quiet. Something gave him the idea that Rocky would be the banker and he would quickly go mad with power.
As the lovely night wrapped up and they all said their goodbyes, Rocky scuttled out the door and Adrian paused, before adding, “Grace, Take care of Simon, Statement.” She added. “And much sympathy for Princess Diana. Rest Rest to greatest Earth Lord.” Before scuttling out the door, having read a Cosmopolitan Magazine from 1997.
Simon looked to Grace for an explanation, but all the scientist could reply with a very confused shrug. “Don’t ask me, I don’t think it would answer anything even if I explained it,” Simon accepted this with a shrug as they both just watched out the door, waving goodbye.
Lol. Lmao. You think Rocky is going to LET Grace die?? Fuck no. Broski has a team of Eridians cooking up some science as we speak. Throw Simon into that equation with his weird post blood ocean mutations that probably let him live longer and those chances get even lower. Grace I hope you're ready to wake up one morning and realize that for a 100 year old man you don't look all that much past 47.
'Grace say Grace will die, Rocky fix.' is a PROMISE and by god that lil dude is KEEPING IT.
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