I wrote this 2 years ago, almost to the day. I wrote this to my Daddy when we were still long distance. I wrote this because i didn't feel worthy or useful or like there was any ounce of good in me. As a submissive we are taught to trust our Doms. We are taught that only Their opinions, wants and needs matter. But what about when real life gets in the way? What about the struggles that come from balancing work and family and self care with caring for a submissive. You have all heard me talk about the struggles my Daddy and I are facing and that right there is the heart of it. It's been a long time since we have had a proper scene. My pain tolerance has dropped. I haven't been pushed deep into sub space in just as long. I crave pain for balance. I crave sub space for release. I crave crumbling under His power to show me who I truly am. I crave His aggression, forcefullness, ownership, to put me in my place. Without those things I feel lost as not only a sub, but a person. I feel like a free floating balloon, carried by the wind. I feel like I am failing Him because He does not want to take what is his. Because His sadistic side has not needed my services. I feel like a failure because things have changed. But i know He feels the same way. He feels He is failing me when I cant sleep. When I cry for seemingly no reason. When my emotions run away. When I beg for attention and He struggles to stay awake. Our relationship is not in trouble. It's not failing. It's not falling apart. It's under construction. It's being remodeled. We are drawing new lines and setting new boundaries. We are adjusting our roles so we both feel healthy and cared for. We are laying down new rules, new expectations, new guidelines. Sometimes we back slide. Sometimes old habits are easier. So often people want to give up when things get tough, when things change, when people make mistakes. I did not submit to serve Him only in fair weather. I didn't submit to serve only the parts of him I like all the time. I submitted to serve the whole Man all of the time. #bdsmsubmissive #bdsmlove #daddydomlittlegirl #ddlglittlespace #ddlglittleone #daddykink #bdsmrelationship https://www.instagram.com/p/B0yuZfpABFw/?igshid=apk29yokqpt