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any money you spend on a girl before your mission is money you spend on somone elses wife

Evans, 2012

Evans' Introduction Essay for Biology

Hey dude, you remember me! I’m Evans S. s. Stevenson. I was in your class two years ago. I was like your favorite student. If you remember I like to have fun! My favorite days in biology was when we went outside to the pond. I enrolled in this class for this reason. But enough about me, lets talk about me, you know, outside of school. I play tennis year round and play the violin. Like every other 17 year old male, I like video games. Zelda is the best game. I like kidnapping my friends and showing up in there houses. I plan to have a great time in your class this year! I also apologize in advance for what ever Noah and I do! Cant wait to see you tomorrow.

-Written at Marty's house shortly before class.

#evans #goodgrammer

Apples to Apples is the Worst

We were playing Apples to Apples and Evans takes this moment to shine in his own twisted way. The adjective that comes up is "useless"and when we flip all the cards one card in particular catches out attention: Rosa Parks. And for some reason Rosa Parks gets chosen. Needless to say it was Evans. God dammit.

Jeff is going to cry in the corner like the Jew he is.

Evans Stevenson

#evans #jeffisajew

Mormon Darkness Time

Buncha guys jump in a tent, turn out the lights, darkness time.

"It's the mutual love between Mormon brothers." - Evans Stevenson, May 2014

#evans #camping

Underwater Basket Weaving

Evans: There was actually underwater basket weaving at Scout Camp.

David: What? Why?

Evans:I got the merit badge.