Extensive Vamping

The Rise and Fall of the Stefi Empire

[stefispice]

I’m back, baby

I think. If Twitter dies.

[stefispice]

Keeping Shrill

I’m back. I just gotta get my sea legs.

If you missed me, please buy my book.

https://amzn.to/2Ka0dwO

Also available in audio form, but I don’t read it. Some stranger does. 

[stefispice]

Thank You

I’m writing this article where I had to interview the subject so I have to listen to this tape of my voice over and over again asking the most asinine questions. I’m constantly rewinding back a moment too far and I hear myself laughing politely or “mmhmm”ing and it’s as frustrating as you think it is. Everyone hates their voice. It reminds them that the internal vision of themselves that they hold so dear is but a facade created to get through life. My facade is one where I have this like, cute personality, and I am always 24 because, man, I was just really good at being 24. I was at that good point in life before I looked any kind of discernable age and could wear anything. I’ve frozen myself in my brain right there. But this interview recording basically outs me as a young Jewish nana.

At some point, the green tea I ordered is brought to the table and there are just two full minutes of me thanking the server. I thank her about a million times. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Over and over again as she brings all the accouterments for the green tea. I didn’t realize green tea had so much paraphernalia, but here we are. Honey. Lemon. Spoon. Teapot. Cup. Saucer. It’s a four-course meal. Thank you. Thank you. That’s lovely thank you. 

Thank you.

And then I narrate as I pour. “Ooh,” I say, “The ginger green tea says it has a kick. I’ll try that one.”

A few minutes of the interview passes and I guess I take a sip of the tea because in between questions I say, really to nobody except my recorder, “Oh, this is good!”

No, this is terrible.

This is no good at all.

If you ever want to really truly loathe yourself, might I suggest recording yourself an hour a day? When Goop catches onto this it will be the #1 secret to keeping white ladies humble. 

[attndotcom]

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Hanging with @imarriedahipster at @phxalebrewery yesterday. @jenniferlindschutsky takes good photos.

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Shana had an outing today.

[annfriedman]

Show me an adult woman, and I’ll show you someone who has struggled to make peace with her body, felt she’s failed at intimacy, had bad sex, and experienced men’s sexual entitlement. These problems are not the stuff of high school. They are the problems of women.

The Girls and Sex Problem Affects Adult Women, Too - NYmag.com (via annfriedman)

Yah

[stefispice]

When the Bloody Mary comes with a Seder plate.

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Two seconds later this buddy flew too close to my head and I screamed.

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"It's a desert out there."

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@mike_sallustio made me pasta from scratch and then bought me champagne and now I'm sort of like, in a great safe place with delicious food and good company I'm v happy. (at Lux Central)

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#balletarizona's performance last night was so good. Turns out watching live dancers is way better than binge watching Dance Moms. You're changing lives over here.

[stefispice]

It is whatever

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Summing up aquariums.

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Cake I made for @mike_sallustio, pre- candles and wish making. Coconut with raspberry compote and a coconut buttercream. Dark chocolate ganache. Assorted candy.

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Birthday boy killing it on candle duty

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