sincerely,
i started this tumblr in the summer of 2011 after a Gchat with a friend (who is to this day truly precious to me) after he said “you seem like a tumblr person.”
it was simple, but i was curious. i began as a cringy and edgy alternative rock tumblr with an obsession for 30 seconds to mars and 80s rock at 12 going on 13 years old.
i was ~not like other girls~, i reblogged astrology posts, those hipster “i think about you all the time” or “i swear in that moment we were infinite” posts. i read the perks of being a wallflower, john green, and honestly didn’t enjoy them all too much.
there’s a lot of cringe associated with the word “tumblr” but i’ve grown up with this blog and it is the most honest documentation of my pre-teen through high school years that exists. i learned to stop associating makeup with vanity and instead an expression. i learned that tearing down other girls does not make me better but rather just meaner. i learned about race relations. i’ve seen beautiful art. i know how to make a gif. i’ve seen people nitpick at every mistake a person has ever made. seen people romanticize mental illness. was biphobic and out grew it and realized my own identity.
there’s a lot of good and bad. when people cringe or make fun of tumblr i truly understand. i understand the hatred for the culture of “call outs” not to educate but to vilify in the absence of perfection.
but if i had a horcrux this would probably be it. i’ve written over 300 poems and decided to let the world read them here. this domain is a documentation of my love for marvel, for art, for poetry, for “emo” bands, for lilo and stitch, for music, for my friends, for my crushes. it’s me, growing up.
from beginning to end: here are all of my favorite things. here are all my insecurities, my fear of crowds, of being left behind, of ending up alone. words that have touched me over the years, lyrics of my favorite songs.
my dreams of working for nasa. my college applications and rejections.a tag full of places i want to see. selfies when i finally stopped feeling so horribly and completely ugly. some pretty pictures and cute animals. falling in love. unrequited love. loving myself. hating myself. losing trust in people. new friends. new family.
growing.
(friends, in order of appearance: david, sadhana, julia, kushal, priyanka, shahnila, bean)
growing (up).
i think it’s time to say goodbye.
thnks for the memories,
kait-- 2/4/2017
