it's a metaphor @stellarstellastars-blog - Tumblr Blog

No better place for a finish line. #tourdecure #gohoneybadgers (at Del Mar Fairgrounds)

darklittlefaun-deactivated20161

I believe in body positivity, feminism, and always using your turn signal.

“In this [film], we’re together a lot, which is great for us and terrible for Joss because it’s tough to wrangle ten crazy actors that love each other.” (x)

em-ily-grace-deactivated2020072

Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries

By Mallory Ortberg on The Toast

MONK #1: do birds have meetings MONK #2: absolutely they have a Meeting Hat and everything MONK #1: what do they have meetings about MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat

MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or– MONK #2: no that’s dogs you’re thinking of MONK #1: right right

MONK #1: what part of the knight do fish go on MONK #2: the head MONK #1: thanks MONK #2: oh absolutely no problem at all MONK #1: both lying flatwise across the head, or…? MONK #2: no one on each side like ears MONK #1: ok great

MONK #1: so when a dog and a bird make out MONK #2: right MONK #1: it’s usually the bird that’s on top right? MONK #2: yeah usually MONK #1: great

MONK #1: hey is it owls or people that live in caves and build fires? MONK #2: owls

MONK #1: hey roughly what size are sparrows MONK #2: mm it kind of depends MONK #1: like AS big as a tree or not quite as big as a tree? MONK #2: oh pretty much the same size as a tree

MONK #1: can cows sail boats? MONK #2: hahaha no common misconception they have to put wheels on the boat and roll it over land

MONK #1: what do birds eat MONK #2: other birds mostly MONK #1: like different kinds of birds, or something else MONK #2: no birds only eat exactly the same kind of birds that they are

MONK #1: what kind of bird tucks people into bed at night usually I mean MONK #2: any bird any kind of walking bird MONK #1: and when it tucks you in, people usually look… MONK #2: incredibly worried it’s incredibly worrying when the bedbird tucks you in

MONK #1: ugh sorry to bother you again MONK #2: no no its fine this is what i’m here for what is it MONK #1: what part of a goat is a snail again like the front end or the back end MONK #2: what part do you feel like should be the snail part MONK #1: the back part? MONK #2: you shouldnt doubt yourself you know more about goats than you give yourself credit for

MONK #1: what usually rides horses like people or– MONK #2: fire

effington

Tbh this is the funniest post on this dumb website

fkaeros

I work at a swim school and we occasionally have birthday parties. I over hear a conversation one of the kids had with their mom

Hears conversation between a mom and daughter who is like 6.

Mom: Looking at news article on phone about Sam Smith**

Girl: Mommy why is Sam Smith kissing a boy?

Mom: it’s because he’s gay honey.

Girl: Mommy what does gay mean?

Mom: Like girls like boys, it’s when boys like boys.

Girl: Oh….well why can’t girls like girls?

Mom: They can they’re called lesbians.

Girl: lessions?

Mom: No, Les-Bee-Ens.

Girl: Oh Okay,….can I be lesbian?

Mom: Sure, only if you feel that way, why?

Girl: Cuz there’s this girl name katey and she’s really really pretty like prettier then Elsa.

Mom: PRETTIER THAN ELSA?!?!

Girl: Yeah, I want her to be my girlfriend.

Mom: Okay, wait…what about that other kid you liked, that boy named Jimmy.

Girl: I don’t like Jimmy anymore, I only said that cause I thought I didn’t have anymore options but boys.

Mom: *starts dying laughing*

Me *starts dying laughing*

boredpanda

20+ Asshole Cats Being Shamed For Their Crimes

miss--sarah-deactivated20160714

Oh my god.

fuckyeahrandomstupidity-blog

Thug life.

beardedchrisevans

What are we wagering?

rubyetc

eat yer heart out Julie Andrews

humans-of-seoul

“I’m originally from Busan. It’s been two years since I’ve come to Seoul for university. Lately I’ve been looking back a lot to when I had my own personal space. If I spend everyday with people our personalities will clash, so I want to be alone sometimes, but I don’t have the sort of space to do that. There are a lot of people in my classrooms and I have a roommate in my dorm. As a result, all of my emotions would build up and I wondered if I would either explode with emotion or mentally collapse. Every moment I thought how good it would be to have a place to release my emotions, so I came up with a secret method of my own.” “What’s the secret?” “I secretly dance alone when my roommate is not in the room.” “What kind of dance?” “A very odd dance. No one should see me dancing like that.”

“원래 고향이 부산이에요. 서울에 있는 대학교로 공부를 하러 온지 2년 차인데, 요즘에 특히 나만의 공간을 많이 떠올려요. 사람들이랑 하루 종일 지내다 보면 감정적으로 부딪쳐서 가끔은 혼자 있고 싶은데 그런 공간이 없어요. 강의실엔 사람이 많고, 기숙사 방에도 룸메이트가 있으니까요. 결국에는 이렇게 감정이 쌓이다가 감정적으로 폭발하지 않을까, 마음이 확 무너지지 않을까 싶었어요. 순간 순간 감정을 해소할 공간이 있으면 좋을 것 같아서 저만의 비법을 만들었어요.” “그 비법이 뭔가요?” “전 룸메이트가 나갔을 때 방에서 춤을 춰요.” “무슨 춤이요?” “희귀한 춤이죠. 남들에게 절대 보여줄 수 없는 그런 춤이죠.”

maximofffs-deactivated20170718

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.”

recreationalcannibalism

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

nerdofchaos-deactivated20120906

see you all in hell

medschoolapplicant-deactivated2

found in a physics text book

johnskylar

Physics majors throw a lot of shade considering they’re still not sure where 95% of the universe is hidden.

lardypoison-deactivated20150405

#gold

kingbranstark

Ahead of the British general election on May 7th, Game of Thrones anarchist-in-chief – and first-time voter – Maisie Williams has a message for the youth of today. [x]

nevercominground

surisburnbook-deactivated202412

Here’s a celebrity godparenthood I can support: Blake Lively named the whole sisterhood of the traveling pants as the godmothers of baby Jim Reynolds.