Why do I do this?
I have been thinking about this question a lot lately. There are as many answers to this question as there are crossdressers out there.
When I got dressed up and went to a local mall, Why did I do that? What was I trying to prove?
Let's start at the beginning. I am a crossdresser. I have no plans to transition to a female. I just like to wear women's clothing and accessories. Let's face it guys' clothes are BORING! With women's fashions you have the different fabrics, dresses, skirts or pants, makeup, shoes and wigs. A lot more choices than for a guy.
How did I start? when I was a pre-teen, there were a lot of spy/secret agent television shows and in the comic books I read. These people were masters of disguise, occasionally dressing up as a woman. This is how I looked at the first time I went up into the attic and put on my sisters' dresses. It was me trying to wear a disguise. Probably didn't help that I watched "Some Like It Hot" with Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon dressing up as women.
Left this behind when I went off to college and joined the work world. I didn't get interested in women's clothing until after I got married. I bought lingerie for my spouse. I guess I got jealous. I liked the way it looked and started wearing the lingerie when she was working nights or weekends.
I have been interested in wig since junior high/middle school. I started buying wig at thrift stores or costume shops. I have owned a lot of wigs. Some real nice, others looked as cheap as they were.
Life went on and I got a job teaching at the undergraduate level at a technical school. This gave me day when I'd be home by myself for a full day. Got more serious into dressing, started applying makeup and generally getting the compete look.
This was the time when digital cameras were in their infancy. I did take some photos with a film camera and had them developed at a place far from where I lived. I have since gone through multiple digital cameras.
I did go out full dressed a few times in those early days. More for the adrenaline rush than anything else. The first time out and about was to a store that was closing, so I figured that I could get a bargain on some clothes. Needless to say, my hands were shaking as I was getting dressed, then driving to the store. I was during the day so not lot of other customers around. I did get "clocked" in that the manager of the store asked if I needed help as I was checking out. I guess he had to see the guy in a dress.
I did get aroused when dressing up, but that wasn't the main reason for the activity. I just liked putting on the undergarments, makeup, clothes and wigs. I knew I would never pass, but I tried to look like a woman as best as I could. For what it's worth, I've had a few admirers, so I must have looked decent.
The past few times I have been in public seemed almost natural for me. My hands still shake a little from nervousness when putting on makeup, but once out and about, I'm fine.
I guess the turning point has been the past year. I used to be afraid that there would be angry villagers with pitchforks and torches wanting to burn me at the stake. Years ago when I first started crossdressing, that seemed to be the attitude, This person was not normal in that they were wearing clothes of the wrong gender.
Now it seems that people are accepting of crossdressers or don't notice them.
Let me review the last few times I was out and about.
No. 1 - Went to a local lingerie chain store. The clerks had no trouble with me being there. The lady who help me choose some ruffled panties (had some questions about sizing) was very nice (she wore almost as much makeup as I did). Even had her take a photo of me. Went to Target afterwards and no one looked twice at me.
No. 2 - I had been working previous Halloweens at the local party chain store. I had been considering dressing up for THE holiday, but the timing was off. The manager seemed to be okay with the idea.
This past Halloween was working at a Halloween pop-up store. Completely different atmosphere. The store manager had told us that we were to wear costumes the week of Halloween. I thought I could pull it off this year, but was a bit unsure. The manager kept bugging me about what costume I was going to wear. Finally I showed her a photo of me in my Star Trek uniform. She took it all in stride.
The first day I was to work at the store, I came to work in guy clothes. The manager asked me where my costume was. Okay, if that's what they want, I'll give it to them. The next day I was to work I was going to go in guy clothes again. Somewhere along the line, my scheduled got changed to the afternoon instead to the mornings I usually worked. My spouse had to go out of town for the day to attend to a very sick father. So I got dressed up and went to work.
I walked into the store like I knew what I was doing. A coworker looked up and was surprised to see me. The store manager and her boss (whom I had met previously) both told me I as "looking good." I worked my shift doing what I had been doing the previous 2 months. Somehow I ended up working the check-out counter. Other than a balky cash drawer, no problems for the time I worked the register. Even got a couple of complements. A coworker wondered who that lady was behind the counter.
I had to work next morning, helping open the store. I was very nervous putting on makeup and getting dressed as my spouse was still sleeping. Was nervous until I got in the car.
The young lady assistant manger had worked with me many previous mornings. I walked into the store in my poodle skirt. She took a look at me and started to laugh. Did have a great discussion about rock and roll music from 3 young ladies that came to the store.
Finally, the big day arrived. Another nervous morning getting dressed. Wore my Star Trek uniform as planned.
The point of this long winded story is that I was dressed and none of the customers or coworkers seemed to care. If people aren't bothered by the way I present myself, then I'm fine with that. I just acted like I normally would.
No. 3 - Made contact with another crossdresser in the area. Met at a place half way between us and had a nice lunch. Waitress was nice to us.
No. 4 - My trip to a local mall to get some lipstick. See https://www.tumblr.com/stephanie-stuff/805363822588280832/a-little-adventure?source=share
Thank you for bearing with me in this long-winded explanation. I know it is a lot to digest, but I tend to try to explain all my actions.













