Dear Lulu: How do I gain the courage to talk to a girl at a bar?
{Originally posted on Lulu.}
Q. I’m shy and I never approach women. How do I gain the courage to talk to a girl at a bar?
A. By doing it. Think of anything you do effortlessly now: ride a bike, drive a stick, even write your own name. Well, what did it look like the first 50 times you tried writing your own name? Like someone gave my cat a pen, that’s what. And my cat has terrible penmanship.
If talking to girls intimidates you, the best thing you can do is accept that. Know that you might kind of suck at first, but you’ll get better with time. You don’t need to be Don Juan in your first interaction with a woman. If you try talking to a girl and she ignores or disses you, celebrate that! You put yourself out there, it went as badly as it possibly could, and you are still alive! And just like that, talking to girls loses some of its terrifying power.
There are men who can walk into a bar and leave with a girl an hour later, and there are men who will never even be able to get a number, but most men fall somewhere in between; they’ll win some and lose some. So go in knowing that. Grab a good friend and a good enough whiskey and take a stab. Have some fun. Try a few bars, try a few tactics, and learn what works for you and what doesn’t. And if it goes horribly, well, that’s why Jack in the Box is open so late. Good luck!
World’s-most-intimidating-women photo by Tam.