Turns out, I'm a pretty damn good babysitter

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Robin: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Robin: *waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro*

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Robin: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Eddie: Do not do that.

Robin: You won’t even notice!

Steve, entering: Robin, you wanted to see me again?

Robin: Eddie's single

Eddie:

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Robin: Nancy is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in their entire life!

Eddie: Never done anything wrong?! They set a city block on FIRE!

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Nancy (Being a hypocrite, as usual): Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Robin: How the hell did you crash the car?!

Steve: So I was just driving today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight.

Steve: I was like "woah, that's homophobic". Instead, I went gay. And, THAT'S when I got into an accident.

Robin: ...

Eddie, with a proud smile: And THAT'S who I'm in love with, ladies and gentlemen.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Eddie: You’re alive.

Robin: No need to sound so disappointed.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Eddie: As your best friend—

Steve: Robin is my best friend.

Eddie, holding a knife: As your best friend—

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Lucas: And here we see Mike and Will in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.

Mike: Gaelic bread.

Will: Grueling brad.

Mike: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Will: Where the devil is Eleven?

Mike: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe they melted?

Lucas: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Mike: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Eleven: That's great, Mike. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Steve: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest*

Robin: We have heart?

Steve: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Nancy: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.

Steve: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Will: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.

Max: There are no comic books in prison.

Will: *sighs* Thank you.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Nancy: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.

Robin, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Dustin: Oh man, you have any shaving cream?

Mike: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Dustin: Wait... you eat shaving cream?

Mike: No. Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Steve: What do you call disobeying the law?

The Squad: A hobby.

Steve: *crosses their arms*

The Squad: That we do not engage in.

[steve-harringtons-seventh-child]

Max: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*

Mike: You can't just skip to the happy ending!

Max: I don't have time for their problems.