„Thank You For Your Cooperation.“

Romanogers…till the end of the line!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: I never expected we‘d find the demon here.

Agatha: Neither did the demon. It looked mighty offended!

Natasha: But here…in a haunted, run down grocery store?!

Agatha: I had to laugh out loud when it tried to hide behind the expired groceries shelves!

Natasha: Yes, but when it ate the expired muffins…that‘s what really freaked me out!

Agatha: Or when it vomited expired muffins!

Natasha: Time to go home! But no muffins for the kids for at least a year!

Final episode of „Nat & Agatha - The Demon Diaries“! Another cooperation with Slightlytwistedsilverware!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: I hate this investigation!

Agatha: Hey, don‘t take your bad mood out on me! Only because Steve isn’t here and you miss sex.

Natasha: That’s not it.

Agatha: Oh, not much going on in the marital bedroom, huh?

Natasha: Steve and I have no problem in the bedroom. None! Nada!

Agatha: Sure, sure. But I could brew a potion or two that could help. Highly effective, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink!

Natasha: Steve is in no need of supernatural viagra!

Agatha: Sure, cutie pie, just keep telling yourself that.

Natasha: You…It’s not…How do I even get into conversations with you like that??!!!

Nat & Agatha - The Demon Diaries

Cooperation with my pal Slightlytwistedsilverware!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: We have chased every possession rumour this week. It turned out to be either bad plumbing or bad acting!

Agatha: Yes, I was hoping for at least one dramatically floating chair. I bet your little demon Ilya would find the resident demon though.

Natasha: He would find it, name it, adopt it and ask if we could keep it!

Agatha: A boy after my own heart!

Another episode of „Nat &Agatha - the Demon Diaries“ 😁

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Fury, I‘ve been here a month. For what?!There‘s no progress. I miss my husband, my children and let’s be honest, Steve can‘t handle Ilya by himself.

Fury: I know you want to go home, Natasha. But from a global security perspective we need to check out these possession rumours further.

Natasha: Oh, come on!!

Fury: And to help you with your investigation, I have sent you an expert in the field. Meet your new partner.

Agatha Harkness: Hi, long time no see, cutie pie!! How‘s it going?

Natasha: I‘m gonna kill you, Nick. Nice, slow and painful!

Another cooperation with my pal Slightlytwistedsilverware!

[steveandnatlover76]

James: Wow, Mom, what planet is that on?

Natasha: It‘s actually Earth, my love.

Sue Storm: Just my Earth.

Yelena: This is Sue‘s Earth?! Wow, sestra, you really are a poser in every universe!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Ilya, why do I hear meows?

Ilya: It‘s the bed. It makes funny noises like yours and Daddy‘s late at night.

Natasha: Beds don’t meow. What’s going on, young man?!

Ilya: Hypothetically speaking…If someone rescued four kittens and kept them under the bed…

Natasha: You hid four kittens in a box under your bed and didn’t tell me?!

Ilya: In my defense I was waiting until they perfected the „Too cute to say no“ strategy.

[steveandnatlover76]

Justin Hammer: Well, so you‘re Natasha Romanoff-Rogers now. Wow, marriage and branding!

Natasha: It‘s a surname, Justin, not a hostile takeover.

Steve: Though if she did a hostile takeover of Hammer Industries, it might run better!

Justin Hammer: That was unnecessarily accurate, Captain!

[steveandnatlover76]

Mia: Mommy, I don’t like your new hair.

Natasha: Why not, sweetie?

Mia: Because now it’s not red like mine.

Tony: Honestly, Red, I have seen your hair looking better.

Natasha: Oh, thank you, „Mister - Thinning -Hair - I - can - see - my - reflection - on - your - forehead“!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Steve, solnyshko, Ilya is building something in the garden.

Steve: It looks like a…catapult.

Ilya: The catapult is just for scientific purposes.

Tony: Kid, stop aiming your scientific purpose at my sports car!! Kid!!!

Steve: There goes my hope for a calm, relaxing afternoon.

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: I think that Hydra agent broke my jaw.

Steve: Maybe you should see the doctor.

Natasha: No, it’s okay. I‘ll live.

Steve: Let me at least get you some ice cream.

Natasha: Oh, thank you, solnyshko.

Natasha (to Yelena): And that’s how you do it.

Yelena: Unbelievable.

Natasha: Yes, there‘s a fine art to being happily married: How to trick your husband into doing what you want…without really trying or him noticing.

Yelena: Fascinating!

Another cooperation with Slightlytwistedsilverware!

[steveandnatlover76]

Sarah: Thanks mom, for agreeing to do a demonstration in my karate class.

Natasha: You‘re welcome, my love.

Sensei: Go easy on me, Mrs Romanoff-Rogers. I‘m over 50 and have a slight hernia.

Natasha: Don’t worry, I know what I‘m doing. My husband is over 100 and I have to go easy on him, too.

Sarah: I‘m gonna tell Daddy that!

Yelena: I hope, that wasn‘t a marital bedroom overshare!

Sarah: Ewwwww! Auntie Yelena!

Yelena: You say ewwww, but I‘m not sure I can keep my breakfast down with all these images forming in my head.

Another cooperation with Slightlytwistedsilverware!

[steveandnatlover76]

Pepper: What is she wearing? Shoulder pads? Seriously? She‘s ruining the whole Avengers brand.

Yelena: Those shoulder pads could shield the glorious motherland!

Alexei: Da! Those shoulder pads are larger than mine!

Shout out to Slightlytwistedsilverware for this one!

[steveandnatlover76]

Steve: Magnificient!

Natasha: What?

Steve: You, darling.

Natasha: Oh, stop.

Steve: No way. You‘re breathtaking.

Natasha: You‘re making me blush.

Tony: Oh please, I‘m gonna lose my lunch. Get a room, you two, and make Romanogers baby number eight for all I care!

[steveandnatlover76]

Tony: Why the get up, Red? Undercover?

Natasha: Always, amateur dramatic society.

Steve: Sweetheart, do you think you could wear this outfit tonight…before bed?

Tony: Yeah, Capsicle, I thought this get up would get your 1940s motor going.

Steve: Not just the motor.

Tony: Oh good Lord…

Natasha: You‘ll get your special performance, solnyshko.

Tony: Oh, the nausea!

Another cooperation with Slightlytwistedsilverware!

[steveandnatlover76]

Yelena: What is she smiling about??

Steve: She‘s smiling about what we did last night.

Yelena: Tell me this is not an overshare at the press junket!

Tony: Wow, Capsicle, really! Subtlety did certainly not survive the super soldier program!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Solnyshko, do you think this dress is too much?

Steve: Well, three Shield agents just walked into a wall staring at you. I‘d say the dress is exactly right.

Natasha: And you?

Steve: I also walked into a wall…but with dignity!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Hello. I‘m here for the 2 pm house viewing.

Realtor: You’re…the Black Widow.

Natasha: Correct.

Realtor: THE Black Widow?!

Natasha: Yes???

Realtor: Oh my God! The Black Widow is viewing my houses!!

Natasha: Ah…okay.

Realtor: Will you sign my action figures?!

Natasha: Sure. Then we can discuss kitchen and bathroom arrangements.

Realtor: If you also sign my Funko Pops, I‘ll get you a great deal on the house!

Natasha: A man after my own heart…

Steve: My wife appreciates men who worship her and a great business deal.

Another shout out to my pal Slightlytwistedsilverware for this one!