Mommy Group Files

Things moms ask other moms in the privacy of the Internet. Submit your own to [email protected]

[stfumommies]

When Should Kids Stop Playing?

This is the SECOND time a mom wrote about wanting her kid to stop playing. I never want my kid to stop playing. I never want to stop playing. Who are these people? 

[stfumommies]

This Makes Me Uncomfortable

[stfumommies]

Umm...How About Treat the Kid Like Any Other Kid?

If you've hung out with this child before his diagnosis, just keep on keeping on. Maybe don't act like a complete asshole around him but that should be a rule of thumb around all kids. 

[stfumommies]

#firstworldproblems

[stfumommies]

Two Kinds of #Humblebrags

The "I just want to know if the fact that my newborn is reciting Shakespere is normal" #humblebrag

And the "My 14mo reads ALL THE TIME and sits for 20mins straight and it's SOOO ANNOYING" #humblebrag.

[stfumommies]

Is It Okay To Be a Glittery Gay While Evangelizing Our Lord and Savior?

I can't with the fear of glitter and using a 19mo to promote God and the word "Bro." 

Imagine this child as an adult. *shudder*

[stfumommies]

Opinions of Complete Strangers > My Own OB/GYN

My Doctor says this is okay. But I really want to know if all of you people who are complete strangers and have never met me before to do some kind of physical assessment of me thinks it's okay.

[stfumommies]

Is It Okay to Drink Lemonade While Pregnant?

WELL IS IT?

[stfumommies]

This is Why You Shouldn't Go Outside Anymore

If people saying things that are meant to be compliments bothers you, please go live in a cave with your beautiful, fat, gender ambiguous babies. 

[stfumommies]

Just. Don't.

Don't use bleach wipes on things that go in your child's mouth, mmm'kay?

[stfumommies]

Everyday is AFTER Labor Day for Newborns

"What is proper dressing etiquette for 4mo infants after labor day and at bridal parties?" Are things people think about. 

[stfumommies]

How to Boost Your Milk Supply

Step One: Have the baby

[stfumommies]

Yes. No, wait. No. Wait, Yes. Definitely, Yes.

In all seriousness, vaccinate your god damned children. 

[stfumommies]

So...What's the Question?

This is what a "My 5mo is Holding her own bottle" #humblebrag looks like.

[stfumommies]

Plastic Surgeon is Reluctant to Mess with Nature

Also, it's totally logical to plan your reproductive future on what your 2yo says. 

I know it seems like I'm going IN on this lady, but I can't control what people submit to me. I also have no problem not concealing her identity because she is a public figure who has been on the cover of a magazine. 

[stfumommies]

Go Straight to Hospital and Don't Pass Go

Pro-tip: If your Toddler swallows a foreign object and vomits five times in one hour, don't go on Facebook and ask if you should go to the hospital. JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL. UPDATE: This child had to get surgery to have the object removed. Posts like this is when these Mommygroup posts become less funny. 

[stfumommies]

Eight Gluten-Free Cavities and Four Non-GMO Root Canals

How's that organic, gluten free, non-gmo, free-range pasture diet working out for your kid?  Meanwhile, my candy, cake and gluten eating child has zero cavaties, because of BRUSHING.