stardrenched:
For a moment, it’s all she can do to stare. Her expression betrays no pain, no curiosity, no disbelief of any kind, even as her mind worked itself into a chaotic roar. How he feels— the words alone made her feel ill. She had wondered, endlessly, but could never bring herself to imagine what his answer might be. It had been the subject of nightmares, daydreams, and one she purposefully avoided.
Jaune. Wanting to spend the rest of his life with her. The words hang in the air like a weight about to fall, a wire pulled to the point of snapping.
She laughs. A bright, musical sound, loud and floating– unabashed. Her head lolls, looking at Rosa with spring-touched eyes. “Don’t be absurd. That’s impossible– he’s just indebted, is all. Gratitude is a big thing with him.” A beat. “Ah. If that was payback, you should know that I meant– you don’t have to worry about hiding it from me. I’ve done… similar, ish, things.”
❛ You’re not wrong. ❜ In between her honest words of vague self-incrimination, and her ability to see the a part of what made Jaune exceptional, there was a visible increase in comfort as her shoulders nimbly, and gently fell. ❛ Jaune would...he would rather die than leave a debt unpaid, or a - ❜ Throughout her time of talking, she continuously felt like she was speaking out of place, in a place that she ought not part her lips. Yet, she carried on, fearlessly. Or, perhaps, blindly. As Jaune might. ❛ - a burned bridge in disrepair, even. ❜
❛ ...I’m sure you’ve probably heard him talk about them, with a fire in his eyes. ❜ The brief moment of comfort began to disperse, however, as she began to tread into dangerous territory. Her unease was underlined, and italicized by the way she began searching for things to fiddle with throughout Taeyeon’s office. ❛ You know, his convictions. Those things he holds on to for dear life, his most important treasure. His greatest tool in surviving me, most likely. ❜ She stopped a moment, observing an empty vase, catching her breath and her own train of thought.
❛ I understand why you might not be able to see what he feels, in his actions. There’s a thin line between the honorable man who hosts a passion for recompense, and the foolish lover who would stop at nothing to follow their heart. ❜ For better, or for worse, Rosa had evolved to be equipped against such a cipher. She turned away from the vase to face Taeyeon with a confidence and motivation fueled through years of guilt, regret, and false love. ❛ There is a way to tell them apart, though. A sign of honest love. ❜
❛ You can measure a person’s love by how much they are willing to sacrifice. ❜ Jaune was certainly passionate about repaying his debts, and might even die for them. However, the question remained: would he sacrifice what he held most dear? Rosa knew this answer, and she hoped that Taeyeon might, as well. ❛ Jaune was willing to sacrifice his boundless future for me, when he proposed. We were still so young... ❜ And I threw it away. ❛ ...but I felt it was real. ❜ And now I know just how real it was.
❛ For you -- ❜ How did she tell her? How could Rosa speak the cloaked truth, when Jaune had expressed his desire for privacy? Was this another betrayal? No, no. This is for him. Despite such a mantra, she continued to let silence hang her words. She felt she had no right, sticking her nose in like this. Maybe Jaune would come to hate her again - maybe. Breaking his trust a second time? Disgraceful. Her fists clenched, and released, expressing the tug-of-war taking place. She had tried to rush into this blindly, with no regard of her consequences. Just like always. It was decided soon enough, though: she could not be the one to tell her. Just as well, however, she could hardly leave her words frozen in mid air. ❛ For you...he sacrificed his greatest treasure. ❜ It was harsh. Again, guilt spread through her chest, speaking such words. He sacrificed, for you. It almost sounded like a crime, the way it came out of her mouth. And the resentment, oh the resentment was there. But there were no bitter feelings towards the woman before her. No, it was a disdain for herself, and her own actions that led to this place. If she had just taken his hand, he may have never been brought to this point.
Her hands were visibly shaking, now. ❛ Listen. I don’t - I don’t know you. ❜ With a deep breath, though, she restored her steadiness. ❛ But if you’re telling me you’ve made mistakes like my own, whatever you might know of them... ❜ Her jaw was set, and her brows firmly defiant. ❛ ...then tell me you’ve learned from them too. And if you haven’t, then please, learn from this woman’s tragic failure. ❜
❛ See him, and recognize just how much he loves you. If you don’t believe me, then talk to him. Please, talk to him. ❜
❛ Please, talk to him. I can’t be there for him the way you can, anymore. ❜ ❛ And I don’t want him to be alone - ❜
- with all of that guilt and shame - ❛ - and he needs you, badly - ❜ - it’s so cold, and lonely, and - ❛ - he’s going to tear himself apart, and the parts of him that we you love will chip away. ❜ Was this another betrayal? No, no. This is for him.
