Thailand tourism
Dear Thailand tourists, The neighborhood you're looking for is Sukhumvit. Preferably by way of Khao San road. Lots of English. None of that pesky Thai culture or confusing noodle writing. There are no shortage of Starbucks to fuel your rugged exotic adventure.
There are tour options available if you would like to skip directly from the airport to the beach without coming into contact with any locals whatsoever. Well, except the ones with the oily fingers that you, I and your wife all know you’d like to check out, you know, “when in Rome”. But be sure not to miss out on the malls. Going directly to Central World will save you wandering around in the streets, seeing too much of the city.
If you just stay in your hotel your chances of having any kind of cultural exposure fall to nearly zero, but you can still get your pad thai and rooftop bar fix, which, as any seasoned traveler like yourself knows, is pretty much all Thailand is anyway.
But be sure to get a snap of yourself with a chained elephant or other poached endangered animal so you can go back home and tell everyone how truly enlightening your wild 3rd world journey has been.
Namaste </sarcasm>
