i would love to be removed from this shitty existence

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i would love to be removed from this shitty existence
messy writing I found in my old journal
skills include:
- being left behind / abandoned - internalizing everything - using useless coping methods - self destruction
me: wants to be healthy and recovered
also me: actively enjoys self destructive behaviour
im sick of having crushes its time for the tables to turn and ppl to have crushes on me!!!!!
Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.
Unknown (via hplyrikz)
having an eating disorder is so boring like my life literally revolves around food I starve I binge I purge and all the while I have to force myself to do shit I like, like drawing or dancing or playing games because none of that comes naturally anymore because food is the only thing I think about 24/7
I would literally be unstoppable w/o depression
When people bring up things from about a year ago and it’s like god, that was like totally 5 personalities ago… I have changed… A LOT
My kink is when you’re eating a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and your spoon hits a massive boulder of cookie dough that you then pry out like an archaeologist on the dig of a lifetime
I’m never catching feelings for anyone ever again in my entire life