i dont give 2 bitches and a flying cooch

rae | twenty | scottish | she/they

[mockwa]

[blackwoolncrown]

congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it

[carnival-core-archive]

Fanart

[depsidase]

[greenflamestherabbit]

My funniest ventriloquism story starts with the fact that I was obsessed with ventriloquism from a young age. I used to obsessively practice speaking without moving my lips, practicing the different tongue and air tricks and everything. Then I got sick with Bell’s Palsy, and it hit both sides of my face at the same time. Bell’s Palsy is like a headcold that hits your facial nerves. Anyway- This meant my entire face was paralyzed. I couldn’t speak using my lips. The doctor stared at me, dumbfounded that I was able to speak very fluently without my face moving at all.

[cantankerouscanuck]

[neofooturism]

the doctor

[vfevermillion]

Tumblr user greenflamestherabbit

[birdnormal]

send me the chubbiest kitten

[1980sspaceman-deactivated201511]

[1980sspaceman-deactivated201511]

i realize now this says kitten and not chicken

[muaddibbler]

The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group

[n-o-n-s-e-n-s-i-c-a-l]

YES. Then there’s this gem:

[insomniac-arrest]

how come cats look outside and start vibrating their little mouths so much and so quick while sounding like they are printing copies from a fax machine. why do birds do that to them.

[yahooanswers-official]

My cat when she sees a bird: ..-. .-.. -.– / .. -. / – -.– / – — ..- - ….

[tandembicycles]

[spacehunter-m]

reminder that my text-to-speech godzilla ‘54 dub is the greatest thing ever accomplished by mankind

[goddamnidiot]

the five seconds of what sounded like multiple climaxing marios was what really sold me on this post

[dwinkus]

my friend liz downloaded some free audio software a few months ago to do something and now every time she joins a call a female voice says “trial. trial.” and liz doesn’t remember the name of the software or know how to stop it and she doesn’t want to

[dwinkus]

my friend liz had her spotify account hacked and literally didn’t realize for a year until I was talking about my decade in review playlist and she looked at hers and it was all brazilian music and she was like oh this explains why I would go to sleep listening to classical music and wake up and it’s playing trap. and also why there are like 30 playlists on my account that I didn’t make. she just thought spotify was like that

[dwinkus]

hand to god at some point my friend liz managed to fuck up her install of Portal so bad that it was displaying minecraft textures

[dwinkus]

[dwinkus]

[dwinkus]

[dwinkus]

[solena2]

[jumex]

*pulls up to mcdonalds drive thru* hey…..it’s me again

[bogleech]

someone needs to make a convenient chart or list of how certain foods are “supposed” to taste or feel because my friend has an allergy to mangoes that makes them taste like “pine” to him, until a few years ago I thought everyone’s gums got sore after eating an avocado, tumblr beetledrink didn’t realize it was weird for potatoes to make you hot and sweaty, there’s no telling how many people are tasting things wrong or think something is just real spicy when it’s actually trying to kill them

[edgebug]

are pears supposed to taste and feel pointy

[gallifreyanwriter]

Pears are one of the softest fruits i know if theyre ripe you perhaps have an allergy

[toastbutteregg]

[stutterhug]

Just Like the First Time.

[wickedwonderlandd]

[forevernoon-deactivated20181218]

This is really nice work……..                                                                                via Art LOVER

[thathealeygirl]

THAT’S how you make lace??

[aerylon]

And THIS is why lace was a worn primarily by royalty and aristocracy for so many centuries..  It was expensive and time-consuming to produce.  Wearing it, and wearing LOTS of it was a blatant show of wealth and excessive consumption.  

Mechanically-produced lace wasn’t really a thing until well into the 20th century, but there remains a wide gap between the quality of  mass-produced and hand crafted

[beachgirlnikita]

In general textile arts are highly underated considering the amount of skill and time needed to execute pretty much anything.

[johnthestitcher]

I am always amazed by the  people that do this and somehow keep all those threads from tangling!

[strawdogs]

growing up on tumblr is weird bc they let you say anything on here except show tits but on tiktok you have to censor curse words and say things like d1e and then instagram calls it hate speech for saying u dislike men

[idk-my-aesthetic]

They used to let us show tits

[old-manrupee]

They used to let us show tits

[johnnyrico]

[perestroika-hilton]

Hot girl summer

[thedancingcostumeyoungadult]

Booty shorts that say "vaccinated" on the ass

[gamelounge]

Alcina Dimitrescu WWE 2021 Debut

[pizzakingorama]

the new resident evil looks legit

[teathattast]

[dsmsix]