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Adventures In The Elements!

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New Au Iâm working on my TikTok accountďżź!
Adventures In The Elements!
in your give Luke a baby au, what monster would have targeted Percy at Yancy if Mrs. Dodds isn't there due to the Helm not being stolen? Or did Sally just decide it's time for Percy to go to camp, and thus they got there safely?
Or would they still be targeted by the Minotaur? And if Hades' attention wasn't on them since his Helm is safe, who would have saved Sally from the Minotaur?
...You know what? Fuck it, Imma go give my friend Private Brett Con a call...
Okay, I've just got off the phone with him, baby shows up to camp after Luke's already committed theft. So adding a double layer of "oh FUCKâ!" when he realizes he's fully committed to fatherhoodâbecause he can't take his child to war and he can't abandon them. No one finds out it was him...No one except Percy Jacksonâ
Percy: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn you in!
Luke: *Takes baby out of their sling and holds them up*
Baby: :p
Percy: ...
Luke: Gonna make the kid an orphan Perseus?
Percy: ...
Luke: Gonna rip their father away?
Percy: ...
Luke: Hmm?
Percy: ...
Baby: ...Paâpasee!
Percy: *Le Gasp in being baby's first word*
Luke: !?!?
Percy: UHGâFINE! Fine okay!?
Luke: *No longer paying attention to Percy*
Luke: What about "Papa"? Can you say Papa baby!?
Baby: Pa-see :3!
AU CRACK MOTHER FUCKERS
M.E Luke: Okay...With the shit you've just described to me I'm kinda shocked you didn't snap sooner.
Canon Luke: Honestly? So am I.
M.E Luke: And on that noteâyour life story is the exact same as his right?
GLAB Luke: Sounds like it yeah.
M.E Luke: Okay then what stopped you from going ape shit? Why didn't you steal the bolt?
GLAB Luke: Oh no, I stole that shit.
Canon Luke: ...What?
M.E Luke: Yeah what?
GLAB Luke: Yup! Framed Jackson and everything. Left Kronos before anyone found out it was me though.
Canon Luke: May I ask why?
GLAB Percy: *Opens door, both babies on his hips* Hey Luke, the girls were getting fussyâthink they want their papa.
GLAB Luke: C'mere little guppies *Grabs babies*
Babies: *Snuggles Luke*
Canon Luke: ...
M.E Luke: ...YUP! That'll do it!
GLAB Luke: Wanna hold one?
M.E Luke: I don't think I should be trusted with children that young.
GLAB Luke: What about you?
Canon Luke: Sure...?
GLAB Luke: *Hands Canon Luke a baby*
Baby: *Snuggles Canon Luke*
Canon Luke: ...yeah...yeah this would have definitely done it, damnâ
M.E Luke: ...So whoâ?
GLAB Luke: They're adopted
Give-Luke-A-Baby Au
Percy: *Points to the girls* Who's babies are those?
Luke: Mine
Luke Internally: ...oh FUUUUUUUUCKâ
Rest Of The Cabin: *Completely unfazed/under the impression Luke already completely accepted fatherhood*
Percy: Oh! What are their names?
Luke: ...
Chris: Oh shitâwhat are their names!? You call them "guppy" or "little fish" so damn much I never caught them!
Luke: ...
Chris: ...What are their names, Luke...?
Luke: ...*Visibly Sweating Now*
Connor: ...Have you not named your fucking daughtersâ!?
Luke: Don't cuss in front of the babiesâ!
Travis: They're asleep, they can't hear shitâ!
*One Baby Startles Awake*
Luke: Look what you've done!
Chris: What about what you haven't? It's been like five months Luke what the hellâ!?
You have created a whole au battalion (mostly Luke centric) and yet it's not enough.
Animal crossing and pokemon could've fixed Luke like:
Hermes: heya son, wanna a quest?
Luke: *not looking up from his Nintendo 3DS* does it envolve fishing, bug-catching, coziness or maybe trainable creatures?
Hermes: uhhh, no?
Luke: then I. Don't, Wanna.
NINTENDO LUKE AU!!
No...not just Nintendo, GAMER LUKE AU! And fuck it, we make Hermes a good dad here too!
This gets started because at age 10 Luke stole a Gameboy from the store and then managed to get his hands on Pokemon at a garage sale. Luke was so fucking sad when it died and Hermes felt so guilty that he went "...Fuck it, I'm tired of this bullshitâ" and sneakily charged it while Luke was sleeping, he also left another game for him. When no one noticed he did it he just kept doing and started leaving games and toys for his other kids as well.
Hermes: *Noticing Chris* ...When the fuck did I have you...!? Alright then, have a DS I guess!
â˘â˘â˘
Mercury: *Sneezes*
Luke is still the best fighter in camp half blood, still teachesâ
The Art Of The Blade~
But firmly refuses to have anything to do with quests and all that. Basically if it doesn't involve taking care of the kids he's like "Fuck that, there are fruit trees to shake, demons to slaughter. I've got better shit I could be doing with my time instead of being involved in your godly bullshit". Hermes spoils the shit out of him because of...well May...
New Rome Invasion happens here tooâI cannot conceive of a world where Camp Jupiter is not his breaking point. Except everyone underestimates the damage he's gonna cause because "He's a gamer! He barely goes on quests, the fuck is he gonna do!?"
Percy: ...
Grover: ...
Annabeth: ...
Thalia: ...
Chiron: ...
Hermes: ...
Dionysus: ... *Takes a sip of Coke* Alright! Don't say you weren't warned!
Yeah, he doesn't have kids and Hermes was absent the first 10 years of his life, the damage is somehow on equal standing with Modern Epic Auâand remember M.E Luke had a fuckton of godly contraband on his side during that.
Bonus:
M.E Hermes to Gamer Au Hermes:
Percy: You are the biggest hypocrite I have ever fucking met and I'll prove it right now.
Artemis: How dare youâ!
Percy: Hippolytus.
Artemis: ...*lip trembles*
Thalia: Who's that?
Artemis: A good man, a great friend, and an even better hunter...now if you excuse me I've gotta go fuck up Aphrodite's makeup pallets.
Thalia: ???
This is stupid, this is so so stupid, but at this point you all know that stupidity is basically my whole agenda.
So if Percy ever were to ascend in a world where he isn't dating anyone he would be the most eligible bachelor in a Olympus in thousands of years. The strength he exhibited as a mere demigod? The achievements he has under his belt? Oh yeah men and women alike are lining up to marry him. Fights are breaking out in the halls of Olympus for his hand.
Apollo: AREN'T YOU ALREADY FUCKING MARRIED!?
Hermes: YEAH BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET YOU HAVE HIM!
Deities and nymphs are sending Poseidon, Amphitrite, Sally, and Paul gifts in hopes of buttering them up in case they decide to be old fashioned and just arrange something for him.
Sally: Poseidon...
Poseidon: Yes...?
Sally: Why have we been receiving gold and ancient poetry from Apollo?
Poseidon: .....*Deep Soul Crushing Groan*
â˘One Explanation Laterâ˘
Sally: ...Paul?
Paul: Yes?
Sally: Get my gun.
Paul: Already done *Hands it to her*
Anyway this all eventually leads to a scene like that one in Brave where everyone is in groups shouting and fighting but a few mere moments away from all out war.
Zeus: You know what!? This is fucking ridiculous! Poseidon, you're the boy's father, DECIDE WHO HE'LL MARRY!
Poseidon: NONE OF YOUR BASTARDS ARE WORTHY OF MY SONâ!
All while Percy is none the wiser
Octavian is the guy who is so in the closest he found narina and luke is greek this creates a fascinating dynamic where the anwser us still lukercy
Octavian: HOW ARE YOU THIS SHAMELESSâ!?
Luke: I'm greek
Octavian: *Side Eye* Ah...right...
â˘Two Months Laterâ˘
Octavian: Luke...?
Luke: Yes?
Octavian: What is this...this thing we've been doing with the son of Neptune?
Luke: ...Dating...We're dating him Octavian...
Octavian: Ah...
Octavian: ...
Luke: Ya good kid?
Octavian: ...We need to tell himâ
Luke: AYEâ!?
Octavian: He needs to knowâ!
Luke: DON'T YOU FUCK THIS UP FOR ME YOU ROMAN SON OF A BITCH!
Percy: Dad?
Poseidon: Yes?
Percy: Is there any particular reason for you...coming around more often...?
Poseidon: ...I've noticed that you've begun to attract the attention of a few different deities...
Percy: What...? No! Ew, dad no! We're just friends, none of them are interested in me like that!
Poseidon: (â˘ââ˘)...
Poseidon: Of course they aren't son *sips his coffee*...
â˘Meanwhileâ˘
Nymphs, Minor & Major Gods: *Have all been courting Percy with no results*
Apollo: ...*Holds up some ropes*
Hermes: Put those away man, we aren't doing that!
Apollo: Dude I'm just sayingâ!
A.U were Luke leaves camp for Kronos, blah blah, and ya know, camp doesnât expect much to happen.
But, then camp half blood actually falls apart- almost literally.
Luke, camp mom Luke, keeping everything together, stopping fights between cabins, going with campers when there hurt, helping the financial situation of camp, comforting the campers, cuddling them through nights mares, even singing to them-
So when he leaves, everything just falls apart.
Camp mom Luke! where Percy and Annabeth drag him back to camp and begs him to fix everting
I'mma be honestâin my opinion Annabeth goes to beg him to come back Percy is like "Shits fucked dude, you do you man". Remember, Percy isn't stupid and in this he spends one summer at camp half blood before everything goes to shit he's basically walked in like thisâ
They aren't gonna get the same amount of loyalty out of him. Especially if like half the Camp Mom duties start falling onto him. He points out a flaw in the camps finances (Candy ring in Yancy and Smelly Gabe's bullshittery have most likely made him really good with money)? Treasury duties are handed to him. He comforts a few tiny child campers? All the tiny child campers flock to him like baby ducklings. His age and temperament mean he can't do everything Luke did by god they're gonna force as much as possible onto him.
Basically he's gonna assess the situation, look at Luke and go "Damn bitch, you did all this? I mean, fuck you for almost killing me but at the same time...shit dude, I get it..." Like one good hard kick in the balls and they're good.
So Kronos should win right? Wrong because fuck Kronosâright as he's about to celebrate his victory Luke strikes him with Zeus master bolt. I'm stealing from an AO3 writerâanything Luke steals he can reclaim/summon whenever he so pleases. GET DUNKED ON YOU GOLD EYED BITCH!
Camp mom Luke being forced to come back to camp not even a week later because half the camps on fire, the other half is either fighting each other or crying
Chirons tired and Dionysus already tried leaving five times so when they see Luke being forced back to camp they just silently say thank you
Chris: *Eyes wide, face pale, looking like he just stepped out a warzone*
Chris: You've gotta go back
Luke: I'm notâ
Chris: No, you don't fucking understand, if you're not back there by the end of the month multiple people are probably going to die. You've gotta go back...
Luke: ...It can't be that badâ
Chris: Shit, come see for yourself!
â˘Back Campâ˘
Camp: *In Absolute Chaos*
Annabeth: *Crying over the camps tax forms*
Percy: *Comforting a gaggle of preschool aged campers*
Luke: *Speechless*
Percy: ...I get it now...
Kronos: *trying to convince Luke to join him*
Gamer Luke: shut up you crusty baby-eating Dialga.
Luke: *Playing BioShock*
Kronos: Psstâ
Luke: *Not even pausing his game* Fuck off
Kronos: Come onâ!
Luke: Nah, what you're offering is waaaay too good to be true. I've played Far CryâI know how this ends. We usurp your son, you bring about a system that while having its benefits is still way worse than what thunder bitch has got going on.
Kronos: *Speechless*
Luke: Now, fuck off, would you kindly.
Modern Epic AuâVery end of TLT
I don't know how to truly explain this but I've always imagined that after Percy's quest, the gods have him and Luke on OlympusâPercy being kinda like a witness now that his name is cleared and Luke is the prime suspect now. He shows a complete lack of interest but is very pointedly avoiding his father and Percy's eyes. Everyone is getting more and more frustrated because Luke can't "âjust admit what you've doneâ!"
"I didn't steal your god damn bolt! I didn't even know it was gone until Chiron and D bust in accusing me of shit! But Percy...I did plant it on you and I am sorry for that I just..."
"...Why...!?"
"I just...I wanted to give Thalia enough time to leave..."
And the implications of thatâthe realizationâjust weighs heavy in the air.
Camp mom Luke, at the end of the series dies by sacrificing himself, blah blah
He finally thinks heâs free. He doesnât have to worry about gods. Or running camp half blood. Or care for anymore Demi gods.
He can be free. He can finally be his age- even if death
Only for nico to storm into the underworld and drag him back up because he wants someone to play monster cards with and half the camps on fire again
Camp mom Luke, at the end of the series dies by sacrificing himself, blah blah
He finally thinks heâs free. He doesnât have to worry about gods. Or running camp half blood. Or care for anymore Demi gods.
He can be free. He can finally be his age- even if death
Only for nico to storm into the underworld and drag him back up because he wants someone to play monster cards with and half the camps on fire again
Luke *At the gates of Elysium* Yes! I knew if I sacrificed my time and sanity to love and protect those kids I'd end up here, freedom! Finally freedomâ!
Nico: *Cracking open an ancient tomb of resurrection* I'm about to do what's called a pro gamer move
đŞ˝â¨Hermes~â¨đŞ˝ and May
M.E Hermes: Nine months in a womb I made specifically for him...making me suffer...AND HE LOOKS LIKE HIS BEAUTIFUL MOM đ
Baby Luke: >:3
May: >:3
â˘Sixteen Years Laterâ˘
M.E Hermes: And yeah, that's how you got here!
16-Year-Old Luke: ...
13-Year-Old Chris: Whatâwhat hole did he even come out ofâ!?
M.E Hermes: Do you really want to know the answer to that?
Luke & Chris: NOâ
Camp mom Luke, where things get so bad he just starts crying one day while trying to comfort a Demi god
This man is literally carrying camp half bloods financial situation, taking care of the campers, making sure cabins are clean, making sure everything is fine
While heâs doing that heâs trying to also manage the titan army- keeping monsters and Demi gods from fighting, doing even more financial work and now along with even more things and having to deal with Kronos in his head
So one day itâs just like, four campers trying to climb on him, Travis and Connor wonât stop playing pranks, Clarisse is trying to fight Percy so heâs holding her back, and Dionysus comes up like
Dionysus: âhey Lukas or what ever your name is, do this reallyyy quickâ and itâs Olympus fucking financial situation
Luke: ââŚâ Luke just starts crying, like full on sobs. The camp has no idea what to do because Lukeâs never cried before so there all panicking
He'd woke up that day knowing it was going to be terrible. Sofie was still sick so she was gonna be clingy, capture the flag was yesterday and Ares cabin had lost meaning Clarisse was probably in a foul mood, and Thalia was still visiting camp. To top it all of his head was fucking killing him, and Chris and Connor wouldn't stop screaming at each other. Luke cringed, that was easy enough to deal with, "Yo shut the FUCK UP!" Blessed silence. He'd groaned into his hands and climbed out his bunk knowing the day wasn't going to get any better. It didn't.
It was barely 12 pm and the blonde had already had to break up three fights, only made more difficult with Sofia on his hip. Her fever had spiked in the night so she had to be close to him so he could monitor her temperature. He'd forgotten to account for something though, the other littles always got jealous when he paid any one kid more attention no matter the reason. What this meant was he had three other children tugging at him and desperate for attention. Maybe he could have handled it any other day but his head was still pounding, the kids were being so loud, so his patience was stretched thin...
"Luke!"
"JOâ!" He caught himself, flinching at his tone in time with the little boy yanking on his pant leg. Carefully, he plucked little fingers from him jeans before bringing his hand back up to rub at his temples. "Joseph please, I've got a really bad headache. I need you all to use your inside voices okay?"
Tiny murmurs of acknowledgement and apology from both the boy and the other children. Luke almost sighed in relief but then he saw Clarisse and Percy arguing, both teens getting both louder as it continued. He let out a sound akin to a growl. Before he knew it he had the back of the teens shirt in an iron grip. The girl shouted, about to begin cursing before she saw who exactly it was that grabbed her.
The blood drained from her face, "I wasn'tâ!"
The man's face twisted into a grimace, scar tugging at his lip uncomfortably "Yes, yes you were, my godâyou're fifteen Clarisse! You're too damn old to be throwing god forsaken tantrums like thisâ!"
"Luke?"
"What!?"
Chris jumped back, one hand a little in front of him a stack of paper in the other. He didn't speak for a few seconds, taking in his brother's appearance. His face shrunk with concern before he eventually shook his head, "We're over budget".
"Excuse me?" He let go of Clarisse's shirt to snatch the papers out of his younger brother's hands, bouncing Sofia a bit when she made a noise of discomfort. "Which sideâ?"
"Both".
Luke took a sharp intake, breathing picking up, head throbbing. He gave a quick glance at the children surrounding them before mouthing the word bullshit. Chris just shook his head and shrugged, just as confused as he was "I don't even know man! I don't even know!" He was about to say something when he caught one of the middle school aged boys push another child out the corner of his eye.
"Walker!" The boy jumped, "Cabin seven, now!" Before the boy could retort Luke cut him off firmly, "NOW!" Walker groaned and slammed a foot into the ground but walked back to his cabin.
"Luke?" His head snapped towards the voice. Percy was staring at him with an expression he couldn't nameâhe was sure he'd seen it before though, directed at other people, never him. Green eyes shifted off to the side for a brief moment before focusing back on him. The teen took a hesitant step closer, "...Are you okay?"
"...What...?" The tension in his face melted into confusion because what? He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had asked him that. He couldn't even answer, gapping like a fish and frozen like a deer.
"Luca!"
Everything turned to static. D was walking towards him, papers in hand, no doubt about to pass off his work on to him. The god's mouth was moving but Luke couldn't register the wordsâcouldn't hear anything really. It was getting hard to see too, his vision going a mix of blurry and warped. His legs trembled but he managed to keep himself up, he couldn't fall overânot with one of his kids in his arms. He managed to hear someone whimper but couldn't tell from where.
"...Is he crying...?"
The next few moments were a blur. Someone tugged the forms from his hands, then they took Sofia out of his arms despite his protest. The next thing he knew he was being dragged gods knew were. The sound of sobbing followed him but he couldn't tell from where. Firm hands pushed on his shoulders, forcing him to sit down. It was only then he noticed the damp spots on his shirt, he brought a hand up to his face and it came back wet. Oh, it was him, well that explained why his throat felt so raw.
Luke took a lot longer to calm down than he'd like to admit. Hacking and coughing as his tears finally calmed down enough to see that he was in some clearing. He turned to his side and saw Percy staring at him with that same unknown expressionâa little bit of pity mixed in there.
"...You wanna talk about it?" He shook his head, the teen gave a short nod. "Alright..."
Poseidon: What is itâ!?
Poseidon: ...
Sally: *Holding a fish bowl with a very large fish egg inside it*...
Poseidon: ...The fuck???
Sally: Why didn't you tell me this was a possibility...?
Poseidon: I'll be honestâI didn't know it was...
Sally: Really?
Poseidon: Really! This has never happened beforeâ!
Ponyo Percy Jackson AuâPercy is Ponyo. Who's Sasuke? I haven't figured that out yet.
Edit:
SASUKE IS TELEMACHUS, I REPEAT SASUKE IS TELEMACHUSâTHE ITHACAN ROYAL FAMILY WAS REINCARNATED!
Percy: Telly!
Telemachus: :O!
Percy: Percy. Loves. Telly! Percy loves Telly! *Tiny fish backflips*