𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚘.

KEPT RESPECT UP, THE BEST THEY FELL, LET THE REST BE THE TALE THEY TELL, THAT I WAS THERE SAYING IN THESE PROMISES BROKEN, DEEP BELOW, EACH WORD GETS LOST IN THE ECHO. SO ONE LAST LIE I CAN SEE THROUGH, THIS TIME I FINALLY LET YOU GO.

[stjameshqs-blog]

text → asher

ASHER: hey rehearsal wrapped for tsr are you good for a lesson?

ASHER: i can occupy myself for a bit otherwise

ASHER: they're auditioning new drummers today and i love a good drummer

JAMES: yeah, for sure! i have plenty of time on my hands right now

JAMES: but it's fine by me if there's something else you'd rather be doing? i can make time whenever it suits you!

[stjameshqs-blog]

primakitwillis:

kit was struggling, honestly. with the last nights and early starts, the amount of dance and gym time he was trying to fit into his day? he ended up hurting so much he felt like he couldn’t dance any more. but he knew he needed more pointe time, especially with word going round about barre none. he needed to make sure he was keeping up with it, coming to the end of the section when the classical clip died down and it was replaced with applause. “oh! i uh.. hi. thank you. getting in some pointe while i can.” he breathed as he grabbed his water to gulp some down, almost choking when the subject of the pills was brought up. “i… never said that it wasn’t wanted or needed. i just… didn’t necessarily think you’d notice me takin’ them. or even knew what i was takin’.” he rubbed his sweater clad elbow where it ached, a slightly guilty seeming smile tugging his lips. “i’m sorry for being a little stand offish. i’m not usually so blunt.”

as he noticed kit almost cough back up his water, james instinctively rested a hand on his upper arm to comfort him. the words that followed drew a dry chuckle from his lips and he shrugged. “you didn’t need to say it, kit. it was pretty evident that it wasn’t wanted or needed.” he moved a hand back through dark curls then, pausing before continuing. “i noticed.” another pause. “let’s just say... i have history with this kind of thing.” he couldn’t bring himself to go into the details, not unless kit specifically wanted him to. “it’s fine. no apologies needed. that’s not why i apologised, kit. i just wanted you to know that i don’t make a habit of sticking my nose into other people’s business. i tend to keep myself to myself, unless i’m worried about someone. but don’t worry, i’ll mind my own business in future.” he glanced down to the labrador retriever that sat loyally at his side, unable to bring himself to maintain focus on kit’s face. it was strange – james felt guilty for making kit feel guilty. after a few moments, he forced himself to make eye contact again, offering a half-hearted smile. “we’re all good, yeah?”

[stjameshqs-blog]

kvtrincs:

KATRINA felt more than at home in this environment. with a couple of drinks already in her system, she roamed through the party, mingled with whoever she pleased as she attempted to find someone more stimulating than the last. she had a bad habit of determining most people boring within a few minutes of conversation. the blonde eventually found herself drawn to the male sitting alone in the corner. he seemed to be decent, causing her to wonder why he was sitting alone. as she approached, she thought she heard him say something but couldn’t quite make it out. “sorry what was that?” kat inquired, giving an awkward nod as he answered. “talking to you dog? you brought a dog to the party? that’s pretty badass.” she kneeled down to get a better look, taking a sip of her drink as she noted the reflective harness on the boy’s companion. “ah, yeah. it’s not half bad… is he a service dog? or she? does he or she have a name?”

a low chuckle escaped james’ lips, potentially inaudible over the deep thrum of the music. “uh, yes. i brought a dog to the party. i take my dog everywhere,” he explained quickly, giving ramsay a gentle scratch behind the ears. “he’s a guide dog, yeah. he. he’s called ramsay.” he couldn’t help but smile proudly as he spoke about ramsay – the dog had become more than just a guide dog to the spaniard over the years. he was his best friend, something that was inevitable in a situation like theirs, with james instilling all of his trust into the dog, especially in loud, dark situations such as this one. he found himself squinting to try and make out katrina’s face a little clearer, eyes adjusting to the darkness far slower than the average pair of eyes. “so um... if you’re enjoying the party, what brings you to join us here in the corner?”

[stjameshqs-blog]

if he was going to find the curly-headed blond anywhere, james knew it’d be in the dance studio. he’d been leaning in the doorway for a few minutes now, watching @primakitwillis get lost in the music as he danced so effortlessly and gracefully. as the track came to an end, the room fell into almost-silence, save for the sound of james’ gentle applause. ramsay accompanied him as always, and the pair moved almost hesitantly towards the other dancer. “that was amazing,” james offered in lieu of a greeting. “look, kit. i uh... i wanted to apologise for the other night at the party. y’know, when i asked about – well, all but accused you of – taking those pills and drinking. it’s none of my business and i’m sorry for sticking my nose in where it wasn’t wanted or needed.” but that didn’t stop him from being concerned.

[stjameshqs-blog]

text || kit & 💃james💃

kit: ah. well, i'll definitely text harry properly now and see if she's seen it. i swear, years of video games gave her some kinda hawk eye

kit: well, those sort of words are very flattering? so wow, thank you. i'm definitely flattered.

kit: excuse me???

kit: for one, you saw me take pills??/ when? besides. i'm a dancer we all take pills

kit: secondly, that meeting might not even be for me when you saw me. i could have been there for my friend. you don't know anything about it or anything about why i was there.

kit: as long as it wasn't a bother

james: yeah, that figures. i guess you get a good eye for stuff when you're constantly looking down a virtual scope. hey, d'ya think it'd work for me?

james: well, good. i'm glad you're flattered, but don't think that i'm intentionally trying to just flatter you.

james: i mean, i am, but not in a disingenuous way. i mean what i say. more like actual compliments than flattery, i guess?

james: hey, kit, i'm... look, i didn't mean to stick my nose into your business or anything. i know it's nothing to do with me. i'm just worried, alright?

james: just a worried friend, but it's all good. none of my business, i got it.

james: i just care about you and i worry. i don't want you to get in over your head, okay? take it from someone who knows.

james: and don't worry, you haven't bothered me. not at all

[stjameshqs-blog]

text || kit & 💃james💃

kit: uh

kit: i am so so so so so very sorry and i would have maybe not asked so bluntly if i meant to text you oh my gosh

kit: shshshhshhhhhhhhshsh

kit: i mean. you look better. good. great? wonderful. uhm. yeah, those sort of.. words. the descriptiony word thing that escapes my brain atm

kit: can we just blame this on the champagne

kit: you're absolutely a worth substitute!!! she's probably busy anyway and uh. i mean, you were probably busy too? but yes, worthy.

james: relax, it's fine. seriously, don't worry about it. but no, i haven't seen your button

james: no, i will not shush. you look great, kit. good, great, wonderful. those sort of words.

james: look, uh, it's probably none of my business but... should you really be drinking?

james: y'know, after the meeting the other day and the pills i saw you take earlier. take it from me - it's not a good combination

james: i wasn't busy, don't worry. just minding my own business, here in the corner with ramsay.

[stjameshqs-blog]

text || kit & 💃james💃

kit: ok! so! have you seen a button anywhere?

kit: like a big button

kit: i'm wearing a suit jacket and i don't look good in suits so i was messing with it and the button fell off and now apparently i look silyl with an open jacket

kit: sos

kit: harry answer me

james: are you really asking the blind man if he's seen a button anywhere in a dark room

james: in case you weren't sure, the answer is, unfortunately, no

james: oh wait no, i just got your other text. you were asking harry

james: shut up, kit, you look damn good in a suit, either open or fastened

james: i mean, i'm not harry but hopefully i'm a worthy substitute?

[stjameshqs-blog]

it was still a strange experience for james, being one of the only sober people in a room full of drunks, but it wasn’t one that he was unused to. hell, he’d been sober for years now. that was why he presently found himself seated in the corner of the room that was certainly too dark for his visual preference and too loud to be able to reasonably hear any clear speech. ramsay was curled up on the floor beside his seat, the reflective harness ensuring that nobody trampled on the labrador retriever. “why did i think coming to this party was a good idea, huh?” he remarked to the dog. squinting in a valiant yet unsuccessful attempt to focus on his surroundings a little more. he glanced around, and it was only then that it occurred to him that he wasn’t alone in his corner. “uh-- I was talking to my dog,” came his half-hearted explanation, “but hi. enjoying the party?”

[stjameshqs-blog]

hcllowcy:

brynn plopped down in the seat next to james, head tilted towards him as her eyes faced forward. “i’m claiming you as my partner now, before you have a chance to ditch me and leave me with the guy who smells like three month old fish again,” she said, a smirk on her lips and a smile in her eyes. “your other senses are heightened when you lose one, right? how does he not know?” // @stjameshqs

just about catching the voice that was outside of his field of vision, james turned in his seat to face the other. “come on, do you really think i’d ditch you?” an almost mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, then. “come on, brynn. i wouldn’t ditch anyone and leave them with him. i’d sacrifice myself to be his partner before i let that happen,” the spaniard assured. “so, if your other senses are heightened when you lose one... what about when you lose two?” his question was mostly in jest but he’d heard the saying so often that he couldn’t help but wonder. did he just have super-heightened senses touch, taste and smell?

[stjameshqs-blog]

ingrcms:

closed starter for @stjameshqs

        ‘   I COME BEARING GIFTS !  ’     chloe wore a smile as she looked down at the coffee cup that was still warm enough to be burning her hand,    she held it out to james.     ‘ i wish i could say that i bought this specifically for you,   but   i asked for decaf   &    they gave me  this.  ’    whilst she wasn’t caught up on all the coffee lingo these days she was damn sure it wasn’t decaf.   ‘ so here you go!      you can thank my new caffeine detox. ’

hearing the familiar voice, james looked up from his script just in time to see a coffee cup being extended to him. “the best kind of gift at this present moment in time, honestly,” he mused, lips stretching into a grin as he took the cup without hesitation. “i mean, you could’ve gotten away with pretending that you’d actively bought me a coffee, but it’s fine, i won’t hold it against you. do you not have a drink now?” he asked, brows furrowing then. “c’mon, we can go and get you an actual decaf coffee if you want?”

[stjameshqs-blog]

primakitwillis:

“you say that but i have been dancing since i was pretty young. i mean… i guess not as young as some but i started when i was about nine. i went to my sisters dance classes and she went to my boxing classes.” kit didn’t want to get too far into it but it had been a whole thing. convincing his dad to let him take ballet had been nigh on impossible. instead, himself and his extremely similar sister had switched it up and swapped classes. there were a whole load of skeletons that he knew needed to remain in the metaphorical closet for now. “i’m giving credit where credit is due.” he chirped. it was quite interesting to just listen to the different dance experience the other had. they were all styles he had dabbled in but, of course, he mostly stuck to ballet. it was what had started his passion, after all. they were both just two passionate people who loved what they did. why did things have to be so awkward? “well, obviously i work with what the scripts give me but.. i can tell you that i’m trying to encourage more styles in there. and there may or may not be an opportunity in there for me to do just that.” he grinned enthusiastically, glad he could deliver light news that would somehow make the other feel happy. he was so, so talented and to showcase more genres with that talent? it’d be amazing. but when he was told to stop apologising he just sort of smiled and flushed, gesturing a hand to wave it off. “i guess ballet is about being graceful so it should help but uh, feel free to tell me to shut up. i’m all for constructive criticism or guidance.” he had to try not to laugh or break down into a complete puddle at the sight of the smile from the other. “mhm, almost there. just make sure your turnout is from your hips, not your knees.” he used both hands to lightly nudge james’ hips. it made his fingers tingle a little and he just cleared his throat. “and lower. there! okay, wonderful!” on the positive outburst, his accent was quite strong and he took a moment to rein himself back in, looking slightly embarrassed. “okay ahem.. great. so, into the space. and uhm… this section just needs to connect more.” he went through a section of the choreography, demonstrating it and then showing how it should connect to the other two sections before and after. “make sense? wanna try it?”

“yeah but still, i believe you have natural talent, too,” james insisted, watching the other with a hint of a smile as he listened to him explain about his boxing classes. he got the gist of what kit was implying, even though he merely skirted over the matter. “alright, alright, if you say so. i know better than to argue when i know i don’t stand a hope in hell of winning,” he teased, lips daring to quirk into a playful smirk. the spaniard noticed the way kit listened intently as he explained his passion for dance, the styles he’d grown up with. it was plain to see that they shared the same level of love and passion for dance, and yet things between them were so awkward and uncomfortable. anyone who didn’t know the situation wouldn’t necessarily be able to pick up on it, but james knew that between the pair of them, something was obviously amiss. he listened hopefully as kit assured that he’d try and get a wider range of styles included in the scripts, face lighting up in a grin at the idea of being able to showcase what he knew he was best at. “alright, uh-... graceful. not my strong point, like i said, but sure. i’ve totally got this.” he mumbled the words more to himself than to kit, as though uttering words of self-reassurance would make it true. feeling a pair of hands on his hips, james couldn’t stop the way his brow arched at the other, neither in accusation or in question but rather in intrigue and, he supposed, almost surprise at the contact. it was bizarre how the air hung thick with tension and discomfort between the pair, and yet when it came to dance they’d gladly exchange conversation and make physical contact with one another. he let kit guide him to where he needed to be, pausing for a few moments to get a feel for the position. pfft, he could totally do this. easy, right? at least, that’s what he’d thought before watching the southerner demonstrate the section. he leaned against the barre, watching with his gaze trained on the other intently, as though studying his every move. it was fascinating to watch; it almost felt as though he was witnessing an entirely different routine altogether. “holy son of a bitch,” he breathed as kit finished his demonstration. of course, james hadn’t actually intended to speak the words aloud, and it took him a good few moments to realise that he had. cheeks flushing slightly, he nodded and moved into the space. “this isn’t gonna look half as good as it did when you do it but uh... unless you feel like dying your hair dark and being my double anytime soon, it’s gonna have to do,” he warned, hand moving through dark locks to push them out of his face, the perspiration only making his curls tighter. he had to admit that, as he tried the choreography once more, it felt a lot smoother and more graceful, but perhaps he was simply trying to convince himself of that fact to make himself feel better. pausing when he was done, he looked over to kit with an almost nervous smile. “better? worse? what’s the verdict, coach?”

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

[stjameshqs-blog]

primakitwillis:

kit was usually an absolute ray of sunshine, bouncing from wall to wall and socialising as he went. he was something of a social butterfly, really. that’s why it was so strange to come to rehearsals and have an air of tension that he’d somehow created. “thank you. but uhm.. i guess it comes with practice? ask anyone and i guess they’d tell you i can be totally ungraceful.” he laughed, rubbing at his slightly flushed cheeks. modesty or self deprecation came with the kit willis package, really, and most people would say he was incredibly graceful. not many people can dance right on the ends of their toes. “you’re very good at street. you’d be incredible at tap, too, though i haven’t seen you do tap yet. that flamenco routine we did earlier this season was incredible, give yourself more credit. there’s still grace in faster paced dance.” he smiled at the dog when his eyes fell to it, giving a little wave. “serial rambler here, honestly.” it was strange to be along with james, just the two of them. in the zenith studio, everyone else tended to be there too to learn choreography. and even if kit was teaching james a solo, someone else would be there. harry or bean or ellie. or anybody else if they wanted to share the space. it was weirdly… intimate. one on one attention. watching the routine had been nice. very nice. he had very graceful lines and his execution was clean. there just needed more flow, a little more technique. “oh, hush, it wasn’t dreadful at all. really, you don’t need to worry about your grace s’much. you remember choreography so well. c’mere, at the barre.” he gestured for the other to join him, making the other stand with one hand on the barre and nudging his feet with his own until they were in second position. “okay, so… somethin’ that will help is ballet technique. i know, i’m goin’ on about it again, i’m sorry. my previous trainin’ gets the better of me, it’s a pain in the butt for you, i’m sure. you carry some tension in your shoulders and don’t engage your core to let it loosen up, keep your shoulders down and chin up.” he hesitated for a long moment before using his hands to nudge his shoulders down, poke his stomach to signal him to tighten his core and then finally… this one took courage. he looked up at the taller male and tapped under his chin with a gentle smile. “look ahead. go up onto releve for me, please?”

“oh, i don’t know about that. you can practice all you want but i think a certain amount of it comes down to natural talent. you know, being gifted at something – like you with ballet,” james insisted, chuckling at the flush to kit’s cheeks. it didn’t surprise him that the other was so humble and modest. “come on, you’re giving me far too much credit. i just... i’ve had a lot of practice. street is what i grew up with. along with the flamenco, of course. i’ve done a fair bit of tap too, but the paso doble... you have no idea what i would give to be able to do a paso doble routine in the show.” even the mere thought of such a thing brought a bright grin to his lips. he really was passionate about dance, and it was something that’d brought him through a lot of the worst times in his life. “really, don’t worry about it. i’d rather be in the presence of a serial rambler than someone who can’t fill an awkward silence.” his attempt to reassure the southerner was probably not the best, but he tried. it was the thought that counted, right? he moved to the barre beside kit then, letting him nudge his feet as needed. “stop apologising, kit,” he laughed softly, shaking his head. “it’s fine. you’re bound to still utilise your previous training, and if it helps me get a whole lot more graceful, i won’t complain.” feeling kit nudge his shoulders, poke his stomach, and lift his chin, james cooperated and adjusted his stance accordingly. admittedly, he felt a lot more put-together. he couldn’t help but feel the physical awkwardness between him and kit as the other had tapped under his chin, but said nothing of it. he’d ask that question at a later date. instead, he wordlessly obliged and rose up onto releve as kit had instructed, keeping his core tight, shoulders down and gaze fixed ahead. “do i pass?” he joked, a light smile tugging at his lips.

[neko-goes-nyah]

TOP 10 Basic ASL PHRASES For Beginners | Learn American Sign Language | Nyle DiMarco [x]

[stjameshqs-blog]

primakitwillis:

their relationship had been complicated to say at the least. avoiding him had just lead to an awkward air between them. hell, for all james knew, kit could have been there for harry’s sobriety. he could have used that as an excuse but here they were, kit worrying about what other people thought and his reputation. subtlety was unfortunately not his strongest suit. it was plainly obvious that he’d avoid meeting his eyes when he taught choreography and he’d turn the other way or pretend to be talking to someone else when he spotted him in the gym. it was getting ridiculous. “oh?” he asked, surprise parting his lips and lifting his brow slightly. he was.. a little taken aback. “of course, i can totally at least try and help.” he moved over to shut the door behind him so they had the studio to themselves. “you have grace in the faster dance routines, it’s probably just down to confidence? and i know that, with slow stuff, you gotta have the technique and strength and you definitely have strength..” he trailed off a little and cleared his throat, pushing back his blonde curls and mentally noting how he needed a haircut. there was only so long before he needed it out of his face. “sorry, i tend to ramble.” he felt himself flushing and just used the excuse of grabbing a different pair of shoes to look away, sliding on the canvas ballet shoes. “okay, so could you show me what you have so far? like… show me the slow routine and we’ll go through it. just remember what i harp on about all the time when i teach y’all. engage your core, make your extensions go all the way to the end of your arms and legs and use your turnout.” teacher mode kit. lovely. what a way to avoid awkwardness. he smiled brightly, leaning on the barre with his back to the mirror. “go for it.”

complicated didn’t even begin to describe the situation. it was awkward and uncomfortable and, frankly, james dreaded every time kit had to teach them new choreography because he knew there was an air of tension between the two of them, and he hated it. not knowing why they were so uncomfortable was what made the situation even worse, because he didn’t know how to fix it. james was a bubbly kind of guy – he enjoyed people; being around them, chatting with them, socialising in general – so not knowing why someone was avoiding him was beginning to seriously bother him. “yeah, that’s what it is. nothing too major, i guess. i hope, anyway. but c’mon, you’re being modest. i’ve seen you dance – if anyone can help me out here, it’s you,” he assured with a hesitant smile. “but yeah. i’m not really a slow-dance kind of guy. i’ve never really learned that style. i’m all about quick-paced dance, y’know? i’m a spaniard, after all,” he reasoned, offering another smile, a little warmer this time. “hey, no need to apologise, yeah? you’re all good. we all do it.” he noticed the way the other looked away – as usual – and busied himself with unfastening ramsay’s harness and setting it to one corner of the room, along with his towel and water bottle. after instructing the guide dog to lay down in the corner, he moved to the middle of the room, shaking himself off to loosen up a little. his heart was pounding in his chest, not to performing in such an intimate, one-on-one situation with kit. of course, his dancing hadn’t been anywhere near as rough-around-the-edges as he’d made it sound, but he had to think of some excuse. following his demonstration of the routine, he wiped his forehead with the bottom of his shirt to gather the droplets of sweat there, and turned to kit with an arched brow. “so, on a scale of one to five, one being dreadful and five being only-slightly-less dreadful, how dreadful was it?” he joked, chuckling lightly.

[stjameshqs-blog]

primakitwillis:

so harry had made him go to an aa meeting. addicts anonymous. it had been quite a while ago, when they’d first started living together, but he remembered every single moment. he remembered playing with the sleeves of his cardigan, trying to find a seat where he’d be least visible, harry nudging him through the door and… the boy who had brought the donuts. he was cute as hell but he just tried to avoid his eyes or hide behind blonde curls or his hands in front of his face. seeing him around zenith had been a bit of a shock but it just meant he has to avoid him a little more, only talking when he had to or pleasantries. kind of hard when you worked on the same show and had to teach choreography to him all the time. it was hell being so attracted to him and yet so conflicted. but he didn’t think the next time he would see him would be in the dance studio of the gym just after he’d finished up a class and he was taking an advil with a long swig of water. “hey! come on in, just changin’ my shoes.” he waved the one tap shoe that was in his hand, bending down to shove one (and then the other) into a duffel bag. “did’ya need somethin’? lookin’ for equipment or maybe wanna sign up to a dance class?” a bright smile went with the words, always happy to co-operate with teaching dance. “or is it about work? sorry. i should just… let you get to talkin’ instead of jabberin’ like i am.”

it had been a surprise to james, the first time he’d seen the southerner around zenith after their brief encounter at addicts anonymous. of course, he’d been almost certain that he recognised the other as he’d set the donuts down with a bright smile and a wave to everyone in the group, but he’d thought nothing of it. the blonde just had ‘one of those faces’, he’d supposed. how wrong he was. frequently encountering the other around the studio and, increasingly, at the gym – everything seemed that much more awkward now, almost as though kit was trying to avoid him. james might not have had perfect vision, but even stevie wonder would’ve been able to see that. still, he figured it was nothing more than awkwardness following their encounter at addicts anonymous, and brushed it off. nevertheless, choreography sessions and gym interactions were increasingly uncomfortable for the spaniard, and it was progressively bothering him more and more. following an intense workout session with his personal trainer, he decided to find the other. perhaps if he made an effort with him, things might not be so awkward. with ramsay’s harness in one hand and a towel in the other, he made his way to the dance studio and lingered in the doorway, admittedly slightly apprehensive. “hey,” he greeted in return, flashing a bright smile and clicking his tongue for ramsay to walk on. “yeah actually, it’s about work. i uh-...” he chuckled nervously, laying the towel over one shoulder and moving a hand back through his sweat-dampened curls. “i’ve got a bit of a slower number coming up in the show and as you probably guessed, i’m not all that familiar with slow routines. i wondered if you could, y’know, help me look graceful or whatever.” it had been the first excuse that’d come to mind but it was out now – there was no taking it back.

[alexeivtoroi]

Xavier Serrano by Pablo Sáez