Falling into Place @stoljiz - Tumblr Blog

735516

I noticed near the end, the crucial moment, I reverted back to my old ways. I abandoned the T-spin - the way of the future - in favor of a safe Tetris. The way I’ve been doing it my whole life. But where has it gotten me? I’ve done decently. “Well” by some standards. But I know what more is possible and I can’t give up on doing the hard work or the right thing just because it’s getting tough.

#tetris life #life

699852

It’s been a while since I’ve tried this. Like 2 and a half years. That sounds about right. I don’t know if I change or if I just react. Is it a coincidence that now that Tumblr’s lost porn I’ve become infatuated with a girl again? It’s truly been a while. This is going to be a mess but so is my room and my credit score and my everything haha.

I shower basically twice a week now. I don’t see the point. This week I bought groceries so I’d stop eating fast food and went to Sonic and McDonalds on the same day.

I drink basically every night because otherwise I’m bored. There’s only so much Smash and I feel like I can’t write without it. Not that I’m not creative without it but I can’t get in the groove to sit down and crank out words on paper if I’m not influenced.

So about that girl. I was already looking her up because I’m that weirdo but I found her Tumblr and it opened her up to me in a way that old tweets and Facebook profile pic changes could never. She’s sadder and more concerned than I thought. More like me than I thought. We work together so I bided... bode my time and struck up convo. It was easy but I feel gross because I know why I did that and I don’t know if this is how everyone meets or if some people sincerely are just curious about other people’s days. Anyway she’s more like me than i realized. It’s almost scary. Now if anything happens I have to parse out info like it’s a surprise because I have way more of her story than she has of mine but none of that matters if I don’t have a reason to keep talking to her.

I’ve always waited, like the perfect opportunity was going to come. But now I’m thinking that’s not a real thing and I have to make it. I want to just stop her and say ‘hey, we should do something.’ But then I think, “we work together, what if she says no and it’s weird. Or she says yes because she doesn’t want it to be weird and then it’s weird.”

Lol, I had an idea while writing this. I’m going to ask her out tomorrow. But try to make it casual. I’m going to see if she wants to see Bohemian Rhapsody the next day. I have a busy Thursday planned but that shit’ll keep my mind off that thing. I wonder if this is a terrible idea. Okay so if anyone’s reading this, tell me about this...

You ask a girl out. You tell a girl you like her. Is this unfair? That now she has to know this regardless of what she feels? That even though it’s “off your chest” it’s on hers now. She can’t walk through the building or past you without thinking, “there goes that guy that likes me.” I don’t know. It sounds like there’s nothing you can do but try to hit up strangers. i know there was a world where people could date at work and it still exists. I just don’t know. I’m gonna do it. I guess the absolute worst case is I get fired. The second to worst case is that I can’t make eye contact with this person anymore. The best case is she says yes and we become friends. Somewhere below that but above the other stuff is that we hang out a couple times but there’s nothing there and it’s only a little weird but she leaves the job and I never have to think about it again.

I’m going to bed.

#tetris life