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@stoner-adventures101
TAKE ACTION. DO SOMETHING
so many times, i think “man, if only i could do this.” and too many times I give myself excuses to not do it. I want to be better. If you’re not happy, do something about. If you don’t. it’s your own fucking fault that youre unhappy.
Hypothesis of today
I have this friend who won’t share her glass of milk. She told me this, and in awe of the part that she’s shared her water with me, this was extremely interesting. So, I went further to ask her questions.
-Will you share you’re tea
Yes-
-coffee
yes-
-hot chocolate made with milk
yes-
-but not milk?
yes-
-what if I asked for some and you had the last bit. would you let me have some if i poured it into the other glass?
yes-
I came to determine that she would share glasses of drinks with a lot of people, she would even share her milk if they didn’t have the same glass. BUT, the moment someone drank from HER glass of milk, she wouldn’t have any more milk.
I thought this fascinating. Why? The idea might be she didn’t have milk growing up and possibly, it could be even more serious. But... I think someone told her she could contract something... very odd
Birthday
I just celebrated a birthday. It was a lot of fun...we drove back home from Texas to Colorado. I missed where I grew up. I didn’t realize I would quite as much as I did. But I cried when we had to leave this time. I’ve never done that before...then again. I’ve never been gone from my family for 6 months before.
Anyways. Last night we got some new flower. God was it good. Tasted like fruit loops. And wow. It was amazing. I’ve never experienced quite the high. It made me quite the sociologist. I think that’s the right word. It was so interesting to actually look at people too. Not just what makes them them but also the little patterns that life tends to go through.
My boyfriend said the other day, he said “I believe in god but when the church was voting on reincarnation, it lost by one point. With that in mind I do think we are reincarnated until we become ‘pure’. Our souls keep going until we’ve reached the end.” I really like this idea. I like maybe our soul has been through many lives and there are a lot of old souls and a lot of new ones. I wander at what stage mine is in.
Needless to say. Great stuff.
Coffee and Cannabis
What is the combination with coffee and smoking? I think it’s the perfect combination. Kind of like cigs and alcohol, or whiskey and campfires. Something about it seems so perfect.
“I want to fall in love with you” --Chris Isaak.
Gosh guys, this week has been chaotic. I mean, though it’s only monday, the past weekend was hectic. You see, my boyfriend fractured his neck. He has a spinal strain and possibly a sub-dermal hematoma (??--basically a busted blood vessel). The best part is, we’ve been dating officially for about a week but been together for about 6. Idk how I feel about taking care of somebody I only partially know. I guess that’s the awesome part about doctors...But they’re getting paid!
Idk. I”m just being prejudice and needing something to complain about. I mean...my boyfriend’s brother is allowing us to stay at his mansion while my boyfriend is incapacitated.
It’s actually kind of funny, the balance of trying to care for him and allow him to be independent. I can definitely see where helicopter parents come into play. We get so worried about having them stumble and fall, get hurt,...or in my case, die, that you come overbearing to your loved one. He hates it, i want to help but my boyfriend hates it. He is such an independent dude that he wants to do everything.
But goodness, is he attractive. He’s so kind and gentle, and yet fierce and powerful in the perfect combination (or as far as I see!). He wants to please me and spoil me, something that seems to be lacking with all my exes...spoiling. I didn’t really know what I was missing... I guess that tends to be how it goes.
I’m really stoned right now... and guys, it’s so nice. I’m sitting at my boyfriend’s brother’s mansions front porch, it’s chilly of about 32ºF but i have this beautiful view of the mountains, clouds, snow, etc. I have my bowl on one side of me and my cup of coffee chilling to the left of it. I even spoiled myself and brought a beer out because, fuck it.
***
I miss my ex roommates. They were dope as hell. One was a ski instructor as I was a snowboard instructor. She was so goofy but so cool. Wait, the perfect word is zanny. She was calming and fun and loved to party. I miss her goofy ways and always wanting to party.
Then, there was the wild one. Loved her but man, she got around. Though she was sometimes disrespectful, over-dominating, and self-centered, she was very easy going and adventurous. It made for an interesting experience full of laughter, anger, and joy.
Hm...I want to go get more coffee but really don’t know if I can get up. Or if i get up will I come back to the cold to grab the rest of my things... ARG, why did I bring so much out here.
***
This blog is mainly focused on exploring and documenting the live thoughts of its writer. It is not meant to be offensive but chill and enjoyable.
Thoughts 319
Since I came to my little snow town, I have had a lot of growth. I love that little things don’t affect me as much as they used to. I was reflecting over some of the things that I had written for my gap year. They were goals for my year off. Though many of them I have not figured out yet, I feel more self aware. Maybe it’s the fact that I do yoga now and am genuinely more in touch with my breathing and energy and life. But maybe it’s more of the fact that I am taking more time to reflect and think about my life. I’m taking the time to reflect and be introverted. It’s so nice. I really like this time to reflect over my life before I have to focus on something else. I really have enjoyed working on who I am and who I want to be. I like not having many other things to take up my time.
Self confidence and sex
I’ve never felt self conscious during sex until he came along. He’d say how cute I was and so forth but I felt so much out of my league. He’d talk of all these computer stuff and how intelligent he was and though I understood because of college chemistry, I felt stupid compared to him. I felt stupid and unsatisfactory.
How is that so. Idk. I just wish I was as successful as he. As though I knew what I was doing as compared to flying off the seat of my pants.
I wish I wasn’t so dumb on intellectual topics. I wish I didn’t feel so unsatisfactory. I wish he wouldn’t look at me just because of the way my body looked but because of how intellectual and capable of who I am and what I’ll do.
I wish
Stoned Liftie thoughts: perfect love
I think Love is overrated. I think perfection is impossible. I hate how so many times I compare gentleman callers to my idea of the perfect man in my thoughts. The thing is, they have worthy qualities that aight to be admired. But... sigh. Idk. End of lift
Pipes
I’ve lost so many fucking pipes. Not even funny. Since I’ve started smoking, I’ve gone through 3 pipes. And it’s agitating. Ugh.
Pierre
I’ve probably listened to this song a billion times now. I love how Ryan Weaver writes how all her adventures lead her to a purpose. It lead her to something so much bigger than just herself. I love how it tells this tale of loving guys and adventuring and it comes to the end “he wraps his arms around me, so glad he found me.” I’ve been in a love where I was glad we found each other. But it ended toxically. The song goes on to say “he calls asking how I am, I keep telling him lies”. I feel as though it’s a reflection song on who they were together but then her finding new Love.
Regardless, the beat gives me hope. I love that.
I love being strunk. I think you’re at your true self.
My kids
I don’t want kids. Or I tell myself that. I tell myself that I don’t want them because of how much a commitment they are. But the more I look around at this place, of young people and adventure, he more I see myself wanting some badass kids.
My kids will be born in adventure and Long to see the world because they can’t resist seeing something new.
Skinwalkers
Daring or stupid? After discussing skinwalkers with some friends, I was shortly reminded to have them back in my head. But have you ever thought, if they are real, at I being stupid. But if they aren’t, am I giving the thought power to fear me.
Stoner thoughts
Deep thought 205
I like the idea that everyone is connected somehow. I like that the term soul mate ties us to someone. Someone who’s alive now or someone who's alive in the past. In other words, I have this sphere theory.
There was this story growing up. It was a Christian story about these little wooden toys and then the toy maker. It followed this little boy on how he was able to accept himself for who he is and not what the world wanted of him. Now, the story line is aight, but what I really liked about that story, and how it connects to this one, is that the toymaker had his toy shop of all the things required to make new toys.
I’d like to think that this toymaker had this room of globes. Each globe was another universe with it’s own little aspects essential to itself. A couple of the universes had discovered ways of transporting back and forth, as if it traveling at the light of speed.
Anyways, whether these globes are of different times in the Earth History, or different realities, I think that somehow we are all connected. I just like to think that two+ people throughout these globes are connected and when random things happen, it’s in reference to what happened in another globe. Everything is a cause and affect.
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Stoner thought 204
I’m growing out my armpit hair.
Idk how I feel about it but I do like not actively acknowledging what other people think. I enjoy not giving a shit and saying okay. This is who I am and I enjoy that.
Gum ball is genius and Mac and cheese is bar
Perfect moment 302
Windshield by Greensky Bluegrass is one of the best songs to describe my deepest parts. You see, on the outside and to many, I am a true extrovert. But when broken down, I love those moments of self reflection. Of having the perfect moment to allow yourself to look into the heart of the beast.
One of my closest friends, I worry about. But in this moment of perfection, I didn’t worry. I just let everything settle. Everyone was in their own world and it was perfect.
Family and genus by Sharky graves is the next song to pop up. I’m surprised by people around me, how they treat each other. I’m surprised how some people expect respect but don’t respect others in the same manner. I just don’t understand I suppose. I try. Everyday. I try.
I would like to say I can shred but it takes a lot of days. It takes a while to get comfortable. I’m scared of the moment where I’m not comfortable. I wish I would’ve got my certification in instructing snowsports. That’d be dope.
Gunna miss this
I’ve come to realize I love and hate seasonal jobs. You meet these really awesome people and get a glimpse of their lives. Then, your paths will separate and you’ll realize you haven’t talked in a while.
I love the adventure shows but someone pointed out once that everything has a sad ending because everything dies. Everything ends. And what we see is the good times in life: a glimpse.
I know once my good friend leaves, I probably won’t hear from him much. I expect things to be different... but we worked seasonally together before and between seasons, I talked to him everyday. Or almost every day.
I’m just going to miss this. I like this chill lifestyle. I love the simplicity but the excitement from it. I love the social aspect. I love it all. But I’m going to a place that has nothing. These are the fairly straight edge...or so I assume. I don’t think I’ve ventured this deep. Let me put it this way, I’ve never quite seen the wage gap till now. It’s not that everyone doesn’t have the opportunity to live the dream, but it’s those that dare to adventure that do. I mean... the wage gap is tremendous here. You’re either super rich or super poor. Working via seasonal need is possible, but tight.
Not quite yet
It’s been awesome. I went home for the weekend and hung out. It was nice just relaxing with my family. Now, I’m back in CO. What a wonderfully beautiful place.
Today’s been awesome, I’ve worked out, I’ve eaten. I’m going to go shred soon! It’ll be dope af