The Stoneslide Corrective

A bad habit for good readers.

[stoneslidecorrective]

Hillary Clinton slowly backed out of the conference room while members of the Select Committee on Benghazi were busy arguing with each other this afternoon. Her absence was not noticed for more than an hour and a half, in which time she got a smoothie and a grilled cheese at a Capitol Hill restaurant and finalized the details on a new fund-raising plan that her campaign will announce tomorrow. To avoid accusations that she sells access in exchange for campaign contributions, Clinton will now perform basic IT support, such as setting up email accounts, in exchange for contributions of $100,000 or more. “This clears up any suspicion of influence peddling,” said Clinton advisor Sidney Blumenthal. “Hillary is providing straightforward, reliable service in exchange for those checks. The money won’t affect her decisions as president.”

[stoneslidecorrective]

Vice President Joseph Biden today said that he cannot announce his decision about whether to run for president because once he makes that decision public, “no one will ever, ever care as much about anything I decide in the future.” However, in a nod to the general sentiment that he’s being “kind of a d-bag” for dragging this out, Biden said he will make his decision known “soon.” Biden and top aides say that in coming days, or maybe weeks, he will place a special invitation on a piece of foil inside a candy bar sold somewhere in the US. The person who finds this invitation will visit the Vice Presidential Mansion, where Biden will whisper his final decision into the lucky winner’s ear. Biden said a relative of his is a “huge” Johnny Depp fan, and Depp’s portrayal of chocolate bar maker Willy Wonka is one of her favorite performances. “I think adults and children who can’t vote will be equally engaged by my innovative method of announcing,” Biden said. “I’m a pretty brilliant guy, and this is another example of my brilliance. I’m a heck of a guy, I tell you, a heck of a guy.” News analysts proclaimed that Biden must be running based on this attention-getting maneuver. Other analysts said it’s clear he is not running, since the maneuver would only play up his negatives. All the analysts started buying more chocolate.

Who found the lucky wrapper?

[gr8writingtips]

writing tip #1347:

plot holes will remind your readers of delicious swiss cheese

[stoneslidecorrective]

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2015

In a party caucus Tuesday night, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) told his fellow Republicans that he would accept the role of Speaker of the House if they would back him unanimously and make other concessions. In a heartfelt speech, Ryan described how he had offered himself to the American people by running for vice president in 2012, but had finally had to turn down the role since the support of the people had fallen short of 100%. He told fellow members of the House that he had finally healed from this disappointment in his fellow citizens and was willing to open his heart once again, if tentatively, to universal acclaim and approbation. Ryan next looked each fellow representative in the eye to see if they were sufficiently excited. He then asked a series of probing questions to assess the House’s enthusiasm for his leadership. These included: “Which do you think has done more to help poor people, Mother Teresa’s hospital or Paul Ryan’s advocacy for smaller government and laissez faire policies?” “If you were stranded on a desert island with one other person, would you choose Jennifer Lawrence or Paul Ryan?” “Who would you bet on in a fight, Mike Tyson or Paul Ryan?” Reports are that Ryan seemed satisfied with the answers.

[observando]

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the coloured canvas, reveals himself.

Oscar Wilde (via observando)

[harpercollins]

Harper’s Magazine features an exclusive excerpt in their July issue of On Writing, a collection of Charles Bukowski’s letters (on sale 7/28). 

[stoneslidecorrective]

Always nice to have an excuse to pick up Harper's.

[purepoets]

follow me if you like xx :)

http://purepoets.tumblr.com/  grunge / fashion / hipster / quotes / art / tattoos / food / random pics

Credits to MrsLimestone 

[stoneslidecorrective]

Damn sexy machine.

[parispeaks]

The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.

John Green (via parispeaks)

Kind of seems like every ten posts in the author tag on tumblr is John Green. #just as it should

[whiskeywrites]

Trust issues.

[thesweetfandomlife]

[stoneslidecorrective]

We adopt them, and then horribly abuse them, through neglect or writing all over their defenseless bodies. But what do you expect from people who make magazines?

[bookriot]

To all the books I’ve loved and forgotten: forgive me. My only defense is the words of Maya Angelou. Yes, she meant people, but we’ve already established books are like paper versions of humans. People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but, people will never forget how you made them feel.

from On Loving Books I Can’t Remember (via bookriot)

[mysharona1987]

[so-pale-girl]

[wordsnquotes]

We forget we’re mostly water till the rain falls and every atom in our body starts to go home

Albert Huffstickler (via wordsnquotes)

"And when they burn your body All that's left is sand crystals Two tiny handfuls

All the rest is water, water, water, water"

- Cloud Cult, "When Water Comes to Life"

[booksqouted]

I looked at everyone and wondered where they came from, and who they missed, and what they were sorry for.

Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (via booksqouted)

One of our staff counts this among her favorite books. The title is a reference to another amazing book, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

[millionsmillions]

Writers should realize that the novels that are remembered, that become monuments, would in fact be those which err on the part of audacious prose, which occasionally allow excess rather than those which package a story – no matter how affecting – in inadequate prose.

Chigozie Obioma, “The Audacity of Prose” (via millionsmillions)

Reminds us of the Bay Area Book Festival talk this weekend wherein Rabih Alameddine told Daniel Handler he prefers imperfect books for their messy, unpredictable plots.

[wnq-writers]

When the rain falls we call it beauty but when we fall we call it breaking.

cynicalacataleptic (via wnq-writers)