Strangers vs. Neighbors

daily notice of those that guide my life

[strangersvsneighbors]

Hang On

Deep breath.

Hello? 

I should’ve had more coffee this morning.

Hi, Marsha. How are you.

I can’t believe I haven’t taken that thing down yet. I must look at it at least once everyday. It’s not like I’ve forgotten to take it down. I just never seem to get myself to do it. Now’s as good a time as any. But, I just can’t get up. Listening is draining all my energy right now. How could I possibly take it down now?

That’s a great accomplishment.

I wonder if Lee can hear her from upstairs. He must be so used to my being out of the house. He probably thinks someone broke in and is trying to impersonate me. They’d think I would sit around and chat on the phone all day long. But what do impersonators really know. Yeah, you can mimic a voice, habitual actions, even routines, but how can they really know what I do. Who I am. Lee would probably be the closest. He is the closest. How depressing.

Totally.

I completely forgot to get sugar. That’s why I didn’t have more coffee. How could I forget such a basic need? I purposefully buy those small packets so that I make it a habit of buying sugar every other week. It’s like the thought just fell out, like a pebble from a high cliff. No visual of its landing, no sense of its existence to begin with. Until, poof. Here I am and all I can think about is the fact that I forgot the sugar yesterday.

He should be so lucky.

I never imagined having to write these numbers next to each other. I mean, of course I generally figured it would happen, but to actually see them. Think them. Feel them. I could never have imagined what that would truly be like. It’s suffocating. It’s exhilarating. It’s timely. That’s strange. I’ve never imagined feeling timely.

Well, I’m glad that you’re feeling better. With all you’ve been through, you deserve it.

What have I become?

Bye, dear.

Deep breath.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Fire in Line

Her hands are always warm, he thought, gripping her proudly. Over the years they wore many things; rings, charms, bandages. Their smooth, straight formation gracefully wrinkled and reshaped at the knuckles, yet their warmth never wavered.

His voice carried down the queue as he admitted his emotions get the best of him when matters of respect are on the line. He would not accept misunderstanding as an excuse for disrespect, nor would he stand in silence.

Rejoining him, she quickly assessed the situation and without further hesitation, joined his call for morality. They stood apart yet at each other’s side, singing complementary tunes. Only after victory was declared did they find each other’s hands.

His heart is so warm, she thought, yet his hands are always so cold. When they first met she could barely hold back giggles when he’d caress her bare skin. Ever since, she learned to feel his heart through his hands.

Surrounded by an emboldened crowd, the couple walked into the exhibit hand in hand, ablaze then and forever.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Under Her Orange Coat

The silk lining handsomely shades the stray threads, the roots of her warm exterior. The tightly sewn tag highlights the claims unspoken, the heart of her darkest dreams. The robust buttons seal the transformative secret, the soul of her nonexistence.

She sways to the rhythm of the music. She dances to the beat of the conversation. She runs to the tempo of their lies.

Her orange coat sits in the corner, a lump of lost thoughts and ambitions. In the next room everything unravels. The warmth, the darkness, the evolution of creation.

She sways to the rhythm of their music. She dances to the beat of their conversation. She runs to the tempo of her lies.

Under her orange coat she is naked.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Beyond Blood

She stood in the doorframe.  The echoes of laughter had just escaped out the open window and into the warm breeze, and the sink sat full of dirty dishes.  The broom rested inches from her reach, but she momentarily forgot why she was there.  A smile crossed her face.  Her worry and pain melted into understanding.

They stared at her uncomfortably.  Laurie was showing off her newest attachment when the tea cup heavily slid onto the fine china.  She looked up at them with a racing heart.  They'd all made a trek, but a link was still dangling from the hook -- until that moment.  He's a beauty, she chuckled with a wink.

Her eyes fluttered, weighed down by the past week's overload and the upcoming's mischievous promise.  She was never given a name, nor did she ever seek it out.  She wasn't ready.  It was a big mistake with only one plausible remedy.  It heartens her that after all the years she can still sense a joint acceptance and appreciation.

They clinked together their glasses.  A minor spill initiated an explosive laughter.  Their festivity was well-deserved after a day's hard work, and yet their praise spoke of elsewhere.  Of the uninvited.  A cheer was proclaimed through the air for their love, life and infinite connection with those they call: Mom.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Band of Ghosts

They sit, stand and pace like leashed children at the zoo. Their wide eyes pierce the oncoming patrons as their lungs strain to take in more air and their hearts pump undetectably. Together their heads pan from couple to child. From teacher to unemployed. Amused, their faces droop into a nostalgic smile.

Pictures of memories lived dance before them. The sounds of mixed laughter raises the hair on their unclothed arms. Freshly brewed coffee suffocates their environment and ignites a lost adrenaline. They shift their sights back into the decaying jungle controlling their minds. They lose sight of their prospect and turn down to the burning cigarette in their hand or the grooves in their wrists.

A mystery looms over them. As does a simple response to the conundrum of life’s deceit. They shed their skin and praise their soul. Then they forget it all. Their eyes gleam with the naiveté of an infant and the passersby ignore their existence.

[strangersvsneighbors]

The Elderly Gardener

When the sun peeked out from the horizon on May 9th, Anthony woke up without a will to live.  He'd be more alarmed, if he hadn't been here many times before.  He spoke softly to the untouched pillow at his side.  And then he was yelling.

Exhausted and disgusted, he got out of bed and took a seat in the bathroom.  The smell of the fresh red tulips on the sill suffocated his senses.  They drowned his sorrows and led him to his daily outdoor clothes.  Someone needed to replace them in five days or they'd die, he thought.

He'd start with the weeds.  As ruthless as they were, he found their quiet beauty to be one of the most misunderstood wonders of the world.  If he didn't rid of them right away, he'd have a lawn full of them and repulsed neighbors.  He breathed a small prayer as he lit the match behind the shed.

Next he trimmed the lawn, bushes and neighbor's hedge.  He took his time, not for his health, but to prolong his return indoors.  When the sun had become too strong, he sat beneath the overhang at the back of the house.  He watched the growing flowers and listened to her sing.

Outside he could bear it.  He could listen without shedding a tear or throwing a fuss.  Everything was as it should be.  Back inside he tussled with death and pictured the tulips in the bathroom until slipping into a deep slumber.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Jane Taylor.

It's all in the approach.  They have to be the ones to start the conversation, otherwise they never trust my alternative motherly appeal.  It helps that I have an eye for the winners.  Naive, gullible and somewhat distraught.

This latest catch was more prepared than I was to play.  My morning jog has never been so productive.  I was pitching the ability to come and go freely within ten minutes of making eye contact.  That's definitely a record.

She's young, well-developed and ambitious.  Her mother's battling and still overbearing.  She reminds me of myself at her age.  I told her that -- perhaps the only truth from my side of the conversation --  and she ate it up.

It's a sickness, I know, but I'm nonetheless helping them reach their awakening faster than they would without me.  They are the ones who indulge in our conversations.  Share my bed and fight for more.  Some girls are walking around waiting for their prince or the messiah, but ladies, Jane Taylor's already here.

[strangersvsneighbors]

St. Rosa

Everything about my day was wrong.  Not to mention my life.  Rosa was the first to scold me about talking out at work.  But not today.  Even she was thinking, me cago en todo lo que se menea!

For every growing gray hair on her head, she carries a grievance of others.  I don't know how she does it.  Somehow she just understands better than anyone could understand themselves.  My fight is her fight.  Until its just hers.

No one could stop me today.  Not even San Rosa.  The pain is too great and the love too deep.  Together we forgot our fear of unemployment and brought all passersby into my story.  Our words may have rang foreign, but the emotions were sprawled out on the floor.

As we reached further from a conclusion, I stopped to look at the child before me.  At this point a dozen patrons had passed through my care.  My hands worked automatically and I gave them the glances they needed to proceed efficiently.  But this child stole my full attention.  Somehow he knew the answer to my quest.

Rosa sensed the connection.  The child however stared blankly between the two of us.  I couldn't help but smile.  The child couldn't help but smile back and be on his way.  I went back to the job while Rosa continues to carry my day's tale.

[strangersvsneighbors]

In the Eye of the Mirror

I try to avoid his gaze.  Keep my eyes to the ground and my thoughts in the clouds.  But everywhere I turn, he appears.  In the bathroom getting ready, in the kitchen prepping lunch, in the car on my way to work.  The more I attempt to hide my stare, the closer he reaches into my mind.

Seeing is not all there is to believing.  I try to block all judgements.  Close down my stream of consciousness and take in slow, deep breaths.  Habitual words, thoughts and phrases fight through the air.  The simple sacrifice quickly evolves into a full blown battle.

We’ve built our surroundings with the hope of succeeding.  To fight evil and conquer peace.  Little did we pay attention to every step taken forward, aiding the creation of a direct path backward.  I could shield my stare and block my mind, but neither good nor evil can come of that.  I must look into his eyes and surrender my breath, for any hope of the future.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Them

They came for me and I wasn't there.  They came for me but I didn't care.  They came for me after pushing me away.

They cared for me and I read through their words.  They cared for me but I forgot to say thanks.  They cared for me after fighting my stance.

They thanked me and I didn't respond.  They thanked me but I didn't deserve their love.  They thanked me after crying about my bad blood.

They loved me and I loved them.  They loved me but I was not one of them.  They loved me after I grew to love myself.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Back and Gone

We danced and drank, enjoying the seemingly random occasion of patronizing the same venue.  Our crossed paths seemed absurd, but we allowed the thought to drown into the music and laugh the night away.  Like old times, we closed down the place and parted with big smiles.  She asked me if we'd see them -- her -- again and I didn't know what to say.

His words were few and at the time meant nothing.  We were both overly joyed to celebrate the union at hand and clinked our drinks together.  For his age I would have expected a gin-less tonic, but whiskey neat was always his way.  On that we always agreed.

My News Page was suddenly bombarded with his posts and then they were just as suddenly swallowed by all the rest.  I just so happened to take the time to catch their meanings.  Years had passed since we spoke in person and weeks had passed since I had last logged in.  I forgot about it all until I saw the others coming out of their shadows to share their lost memories.

No matter how brief the encounter, the news had a way of sucking the air out of my lungs.  What it all meant circled through my mind.  How strange each encounter had been and yet how perfectly timed.  These instances make me think that our greatest tribute is the memory we carry alive in our hearts.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Benched Players

He looked suspicious and mischievous.  She looked annoyed and inviting.  They passed each other in the break room every Thursday at 2pm.

She daydreamed of volcanoes and future cityscapes.  She daydreamed of historical ruins rebuilt and the definitive apocalypse.  In two years of communal employment they both missed holiday parties and never shared shifts.

She believed in God and prayed to the Devil.  He believed in war and prayed for love.  Their mother's both died when they were 12, on April 15th.

They all thought:

What took place yesterday will never repeat tomorrow.  Everything that happens today will forever repeat in the past.  The beliefs of the future will be born out of the despair of the present.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Meeting Compromise

It seemed silly and yet it was exactly what she wanted. It appeared somber and yet it was exactly what she needed. It was serendipitous and yet it was everything she expected.

It took fifteen extra minutes without exhausting his temper. It veered him off his course without complicating his routine. It was the last thing he had to do without being the first thing he hated to do.

They found each other against their interests. They embraced each other against their beliefs. They became one with the other against their better judgement.

[strangersvsneighbors]

The Sailing Cutlass

There we were, cruising up the ramp in my latest self-indulgence.  I love my family and work is just fine.  Healthy as a fox, no complaints there.  But even I couldn't stop a simple number from crawling under my skin.

There's no greater feeling than that of having made a decision that feels right and pays off from the get-go.  It all started with an interest.  Was fed by a curiosity.  And was ultimately executed with an indifference to anything other than the initial gratification.

I watched my son giggle with delight through the rearview mirror.  My daughter dropped her phone and closed her eyes as the wind danced through her long hair.  Margret sat at my side with a hand on my leg, shaking her head with a smile.  Crazy as it all was, this was my heaven.

Afraid of it's unknown limitations I cautiously made my way forward.  We glided into the congested highway and a miracle happened.  Out of respect or perhaps admiration, others unquestioningly parted like the Red Sea and we zoomed down our unobstructed path as a family.  A family of young and old, lovers and dreamers, past and future.

[strangersvsneighbors]

The Birthday Party

The sweetness of the cake made up for the hostility in her heart.  The past engulfed the present and no one could decipher the reality of today or tomorrow.  Luckily as early as one moment began, another moment came to a conclusion.  I walked away with no new knowledge, worry or lifetime plan.

The candles were blown out and history was washed clean.  The new age had no idea of the old age.  Traces of the past lived in the blood, but danced blind in the heart.  I walked away with no worry of what had passed, transpired or been forgotten.

The photos burned a new file number and exhausted megabytes of digital space.  Their value, though invaluable, were erased with a simple push of the button.  Memories selectively preserved for the future or hidden from life's tale.  I walked away from the responsibility of writing the generation's story.

The guests escaped the hours demanded of happiness and companionship.  Burnt bridges had been temporarily rebuilt and now allowed to collapse back in place.  Love and civility allowed for feuds to live in subtext and the young to enjoy a naive air.  I walked away with more questions than hopes for a brighter future.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Springing

There are those who come to get away from it all.  Others who come to connect.  Be it with their inner selves, Mother Nature or those they cannot safely call from home.

Sometimes they find each other.

He wasn’t one to ‘dress to impress’, as they say.  In fact, he did everything he could to just blend in.  He walked his dog in a manner that no one would even notice he was there.  Filling into the background, he let his dog carry the conversations, quietly flirting with the oncoming walker.  He however kept his eyes down and softly whispered into his phone.  He’d call everyone on his contacts, just to avoid talking to somebody else.  Somebody new.

Her dog’s hot pink jacket wasn’t the first thing you notice.  Her loudly colorful and patterned jacket was far catchier to the eye than the sun gleamed waves.  She walked in circles, proclaiming her disappointment of home to last night’s romantic arrangement. There was never time for breakfast, but there was always a midday after call. She needed the closure and he usually secretly needed it too.

From park bench to picnic table, their words crossed in the lakeside wind.  Their dogs eyed each other up and down before relaxing into position.  Out of the corner of their eyes, they recognized their company.  Their thoughtless thoughts danced in rhythm to last year’s fallen leaves.

They connected without creating a connection.

She set her phone down and breathed in the fresh air.  She erased her mind and pulled back her hair. Before she realized passing him, she was back on her feet towards the afternoon routine.

He fiddled with his phone.  It was yet to be noon and he’d already exhausted his callers.  He took a deep breath and gently pet his dog.  After the third stroke, his dog got to its feet and they were off.

[strangersvsneighbors]

Spencer's Ride

I love when dad takes us out in my red wagon.  I can see right up people's noses and they have no idea.  Sammy thinks boogers are gross, but I think he's wrong.  People just don't get them.  You can learn a lot about someone from their boogers.

Whenever my mom laughs real hard, and I mean real hard, a booger will swing out of her nose.  If a booger doesn't show up, she doesn't really think you're funny.  This usually makes her laugh even more and she'll make a joke about it.  This makes everyone else laugh.  Especially me.

Grandpa always carefully inspects his boogers when no one is looking.  Once I ran inside and he had his magnifying glass out to look at one.  He pretended he was looking at the leaf of the plant next to him, but I knew better.  I got close to him and he started talking and talking and talking about the veins in the leaf.  I pretended to look at the leaf and ignore the red gummy streak on the hand he kept on his lap.

I always smile at the people we pass.  My grandma would always tell me to never talk, but to always smile at strangers.  Something about spreading joy and not stupidity in the air.  I could never really understand what she told me.  Especially just before she went to sleep and never woke up again.

Stacey doesn't get to ride in the wagon because she's too little.  Dad straps her to his chest and so she gets to see everything from high up.  When she's old enough to sit in the wagon, I'll be as tall as dad, so I don't mind.  When I'm older I'll walk around just like dad.  I'll walk the streets with a big smile, carrying everyone I love.